Birds of A Feather
by J.B. Writer
Summary: Nina survives her opening night but has to take leave due to injury.  Lily takes her role as the lead in Swan Lake but begins to follow a familiar path of self destruction.  Her friendship with Nina grows into something more as they lean on one another.
1. Prologue: Friend

**A/N: **I loved this movie. Natalie Portman is amazing and Mila is amazing too. I wanted them to be a couple... so this story will take place assuming the ending isn't really the end. :) Lily and Nina pairing, but with Thomas drama but of course.

This is the prologue...

* * *

**Prologue: F(r)iend**

_Pink tutus…_

_And those damn cute shoes._

_Like the millions of baby flaunting moms in the world, that's the image that got me into this whole ballet thing. _

_I still remember the early days of my babyhood. Struggling to get those slippers on my petite nubs for feet. Leaping around with mock pirouettes like a kid jacked up on Pepsi and Snickers. Getting dressed up cute for all to see - Especially so mommy could tell me how great and pretty I was. _

_Sometimes I wonder how much I realized back even then what this whole ballet thing meant to me. Only now in my 'babelyhood' can I sit and reflect on this shit. In fact... I wonder if you ever think of this stuff too. We're not too far off from each other I don't think. _

_The honesty of expressing yourself with only your body is a ravenous drug isn't it? Getting in front of everyone and having the opportunity to show you in your element is always the guilty pleasure right? To demonstrate complete control over who you are at that given moment is a narcissistic rush. For sure it was my life saver. I don't kid myself. It was the kind of rush I needed even when I was a little teeny girl. Yours too I bet...  
_

_It's really kind of funny now that I'm thinking about it. I'm definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But even then, I'm shaking my head like a disappointed parent would. It took a God damn change of scenery of about three thousand miles. One heck of a blunt. And all this reflecting beside you... But only now do I realize that time changes so quickly… yet doesn't. _

_Childhood is so far away yet so close for me. I'm a ripe twenty four but still a closet kid. Still chasing the boys. Still getting dressed in them tutus. And I'm still an attention whore to no end. Heck, I'm proud of all of these things. Don't you confuse this for shame...  
_

_But then again_… _Ballet is my career now like it's yours. Before it was just for kicks and giggles but what's really changed? _

_Now I guess it's still the same thing I… guess. Well, maybe with just a bit more attention towards the male cast than any person healthily should. And well, maybe those tutus are there more to show off my body than look cute… Hey, I never promised the ideal life and I don't expect it… it seems. Or maybe… I did but…_

_Ugh. _

_What's happen to me? I used to be as hard as a rock. None of this sentimental crap and doubt._

_... Lying to myself again.  
_

_... I guess the toughness of New York City happened to me. I guess this Swan Lake Production happened to me. And I guess... you... happened to me.  
_

_Ms. Nina Sayers our White… and Black Swan._

_God, why'd you do that to yourself? Why'd you push yourself to such extremes? It's just ballet isn't it? It's just make believe on a stage for us to forget our problems in the real world for awhile. It was just a frickin' show put on for the most pretentious of the pretentious. Why'd you stab yourself like that for just this? Was it the pressure? Was it only the pressure? Was it your psycho mom? Was it our hot teacher? Was it me?_

_I was trying to be friendly but I always got the feeling you saw me as some enemy. As someone that was in competition with you. _

_Honestly girl? I never wanted any of it. Where I come from this was a competitive business, sure. But most of all, it was mostly for fun. Back where I come from? We were all the little cute flowers prancing on stage like it was meant to be. Here? In this place? On the big Broadway lights everyone seems to want to get to? It's like a fight club of squabbling bitches._

_Beautiful Swans? Don't fucking kid our selves ladies. We're all acting more like a pack of snarling wolves, ready to grab any piece of bloody meat we can get rather than graceful birds._

_But I guess that's maybe why I was drawn to you so much Nina. You were the softest one of the rabid bunch. You reminded me of time in my life that's been gone for so long. You were the most pleasant to be around and the only person I thought who was real enough to be straight with me. And even then… this place? This career? These people? Look what it turned you into! Heck, what it will turn us all into right?_

_First exhibit... Beth.  
_

_Well fuck that. I'm not crazy. I'm not desperate. I'm here to stay who I am regardless of how many of these broads are taking it way too damn seriously. I won't back down from this opportunity but I'm no slave to it either.  
_

_The last things you said on stage were "It was perfect…" _

_Was that what drove you to this? Perfection? … As if there is such a thing?  
_

_You poor girl...  
_

… _Nina. You still haven't woken up yet so I've come here to tell you something... _

_I'm the new White Swan and Black Swan...the new lead...  
_

_I know this part meant the world to you but what else can happen?  
_

_... Hell, I do know what won't happen though._

_I won't let this part do to me what it did to you. I promise for the both of us. I'm sorry for taking your part but… please... get better._

_All of us wish you the best..._

_~ Lily  
_

- B – B – B -

(Saint Augustine Hospital | Downtown New York City)

Nina did it.

She finally let go.

All ogling eyes were on her including Thomas and she didn't falter in the least bit. The dark Swan's body moved against the wills of her inhibition and doubts, her womanly sways and curves speaking to every single person in the theater in the most primal way possible. This sexual beast inside was ready to unleash herself, and no one was going to stand in her way.

Nina's lips breathed scorching heat like devil's fire, preparing for the dance of her life. Her beady eyes pierced through the coldest of men and women, that red lustful glare was one of an awoken succubus. Her black feathery outfit hugging her stick-like figure was as dark as the most eerie night. In stark contrast her smooth skin was as pale as the most ghoulish ghost, any fear of repercussions lost like one in her torn mind as well.

Slightly awoken now, Nina remembered it all so clearly. It was like that dream again months ago, like the first time of Swan Lake. Only this time she was dancing the part of the sultry Black Swan. Not of the innocent White Swan that she used to in-vision herself as.

She knew it. The reality was that opening night was over and done with. Fittingly though, the residual images were stuck in Nina's mind like a tape playing itself over and over, letting her bask in the glory of her work. The audience's rousing applause was riding her ears still to the highest peaks even now. The standing ovation's deafening decibels were the final confirmation - the most clear celebration of her breakthrough.

_Perfection._

Nina had achieved the perfection she strove out for.

_... The White Swan has died..._

The blood she had on her hands made her remember at what cost.

The smell was fresh for Nina even though it had been days since that fateful night. The iron scent mixed with the most intoxicating of perfumes couldn't hide the pungent smell. Warmth. The blood on her hands still felt warm. In fact, it was so warm that it was hypnotizing. So overwhelming to the point that Nina forgot about all the pain she was in because of it.

The last images of her night faded away like smoke on a stage as her body was pulling her away from her memories. The final thing she could clearly see was seared into her retinas, blinding those precious eyes of the Swan queen. Those bright stage lights shining down upon her, the spotlight all on this Swan queen, completing the events of _the_ night she would never forget.

_It's finally over..._

Unlike that show night, a physically and mentally battered Nina was now greeted to the most dimmest of lights, sitting above her like a stalking eye, the room that surrounded her as cold and lifeless as any hospital quarter would be. How many people had died where she lay now? A freezing tingle was about her. It was a coldness she was feeling, if not purely from the atmosphere of the sick rather than the temperature itself. It was so numb it was frightening.

Slowly but surely the feelings came back to the norm, though Nina almost wished it hadn't. The chronically aching body of a ballet prodigy aside, the first thing Nina noticed was that the cushioning of the stage bump pillow that broke her fall was much more inviting than the bed under her now. But there wasn't any real complaints.

She survived...

She could move again...

Hopefully dance again...

"Nurse she's awake! She's awake!" Nina heard an excited voice yell out in desperation. "For God's sake is anyone around? Hello!"

Nina's eyes focused quickly in to see a concerned face rushing up towards her smiling the largest of smiles, jolting from the hospital hallway and now at her bedside in a split second. A lot of mascara and eye liner was not the image she was expecting to see, but it was welcoming to see someone recognizable nonetheless.

Even if it was... _her._

"Lily…?" Nina's voice broke as softly as usual, a bit stiff and broken from a dried throat.

"Shit, you scared the bejeezus out of us!" Lily touched that cold head with aff calming stroke of relief, her warmness caressing a soft breath from Nina. "What the hell took you so long to come back!"

_I'm back...  
_

_But where did I go?  
_

Nina groaned as the pain in her stomach rushed out at first realization, making her grimace with a knotted face. It was like that piece of glass, that bladed weapon she used on herself was never even taken out, still driven into her like a wound that would never heal.

"Hey, just relax." Lily pleaded calmly as she could, doing so in that impossibly deviant yet innocent way she always did. "You're going to be okay. Yes... you're going to be... okay."

Nina watched her rival with a painful sigh but listened, relaxing those strained muscles. Lily's last words were so breathy and genuine she had no choice but to do so. It was obvious that Lily was saying these words as if it was the first time in a long time that there was any sense of confidence behind it. With that, Nina could now concentrate on the here and now. Lily's worry for her was halfly expected honestly.

But it was the tears that followed made the hospitalized one puzzled.

_Lily, why is she crying…?_

_She wants me to fail... doesn't she?  
_

That smile seemed to draw a bit of watery eyes from those dark orbs of Lily's, sprinkling her cheek with the moisture of happiness. The relief was a deep one and obviously Lily cared at a some significant level. As quickly as one of her spins to first position, Nina's pain was an afterthought yet again, staring into that mysterious and inviting glare, the pair that walked into her life those integral months ago. It was this same smile that drew Nina into this vixen's presence in the first place. This girl's free yet dark mysterious spirit that made Nina drive herself to paranoiac madness but made it possible for her to achieve perfection.

_Is she out to get me_?

_I was wrong... wasn't I?  
_

At the show, it was Lily that complimented her on her Black Swan performance in person, making her realize how much she had changed to do so. In preparation it was Lily that tried to ease her burden with Thomas, the other fellow dancers only speaking behind her back, ready to back stab her at any given moment. In her broken home it was Lily that was there for her when she needed to finally tear away from her mother's oppressive nature, letting this girl finally grow up a bit.

Now, in a hospital bed when she thought she died… again Lily was here for her.

_She's not my enemy…_

The tears seemed to have spread across other eyes now like a contagious mood.

"Hey, w-what's wrong Nina?" Lily tried to lighten up the mood on cue as she saw tears run down the young dancer's cheeks as well. The girls sniffled but Lily tried to keep her cool. "It'll be okay now. Come on. Don't be afraid. You'll be up and going soon... I promise."

_She promises..?_

_Its easy for her to say... she's taken away what's mine._

"You're... going to be... the new lead... aren't you?" Nina could only gasp those words weakly, that sinking feeling coming over her again that had haunted her the past month or so. There was a hesitation there but she had to bring this up... now. She didn't know why.

Their tearful glares didn't let up a bit, now the room was so silent their heart beats sounded like heavy drums pounding. Lily didn't say a word just nodding at the statement, crossing her arms and looking downward almost in a speechless shameful manner. The mood shifted from peace to tension in such a turn. Nina felt the darkness in her rumble with excitement.

_My spots been taken... and I feel... like..._

_Stop!  
_

_N-no! Not anymore! Lily... I can't hate you for that... I can only... hate myself..._

The darkness in her caressed her face like a demon's finger but she would have none of it. Nina remembered the murderous imagery in a haunting flash. The savage hands of the Black Swan clenched around Lily's neck like a choking vice, a glass blade driven into her midsection with no mercy, Nina waiting for the dying girl's last breath as blood spilled to the floor in a gushing river. The blood stains from the dragging? The pool of blood drained down the shower? The blood on her hands? They might as well had been drenched all over her. The guilt was real even if the images were not.

"I'm… s-sorry… Lily… so… sorry…" Were the only weak words Nina had for her, the girl sobbing her eyes out at an instant breakdown. Nina's face was buried into her own hands and arms, covered with life support tubes. She was shivering. She was drained. She was tired of being so obsessed.

Pathetic... that's what she felt like.

"Sorry?" Lily blinked in surprise, the sudden emotional surge taking her back. She quickly pushed forward trying to calm Nina by holding her head up. "W-what for? You didn't do-"

"Thank heavens for some good news around here finally!" An older lady interrupted quite timely, decked in the usual Nurse uniform, instantly checking on the revived dancer with ginger care yet stern grips to her chin. She turned to Lily. "Okay please stand back Miss as the doctor is coming in shortly. We're gonna get this girl up and running in no time!"

"Uh sure thing…" Lily took those necessary steps back reluctantly. "Just please be careful with her..." she pauses with a sigh. "She's... fragile."

"Hah, all you ballerina types are now aren't you?" The nurse winked the misguided stereotype.

Even with all that was going on both Lily and Nina huffed out of pure annoyed reaction.

Those fellow nurses began to rush into the room in waves, pulling Lily away from Nina by those thin dancer limbs of hers. The dark haired girl's eyes weren't leaving nor blinking, Nina wiping her soaked cheeks in shame but seeping vulnerability that was effecting Lily in ways she had never felt. A checkup and health monitoring initiative took place in the scrambled chaos but the two girls' eyes were still locked on, piercing into each other as deep as could be even through all the pandemonium.

In the cluster of tears and emotion it was clear to the both of them. Their soaked eyes spoke louder than any words that could be exchanged anyway.

They were Friends.

Not Enemies…

* * *

**A/N: **Next chapter, Nina will catch up with everyone post opening night... and Lily's dealings with now being the lead.


	2. Act I: Papercut

**A/N: **Wow, I am so glad there are Black Swan lovers out there like me. When I was the first one to post I wasn't expecting many reads but... please lets fill up this section! :)

About the tone of the story. This isn't all a lovey dovey story. (Although I wish someone would just write cutesty stuff about the two.). But it won't be as dark as the movie itself. This is told from a more objective view... And while there will be the dark elements from the movie, it won't be as much since Nina had already lived through and conquered those challenges.

* * *

**Act I: Papercut**

~ Lincoln Performance Art Center ~

_Why does it feel like night today?  
Something in here's not right today.  
Why am I so uptight today?  
Paranoia's all I got left…_

The headphones blasting the music slipped off her ears with a smooth pull. A press of a button and her iPod was shut off. With a nonchalant drop of her bags, a seldom seen reflective Lily let it all soak in around her. Those big curious eyes were undressing this room as her mind acted like a reluctant sponge. Interrogating in silence, Lily was doing what anyone in this production had been doing for the past few days. Piecing together a puzzle in a cloud of confusion.

It was a make-believe performance they would never forget.

And a real world scare Lily wished she could forget.

It was hard to think about it but Lily was there to see it all happen closely from the outside. Was it really only just a few nights ago where Nina was prepping for what could have been her final performance? Lily felt the stark reality as much as the mental exaggerations conjuring in her mind. There was a surreal weight in the room, like a constant yet unknown pressure that pressed against her chest tightly. It was a harsh and haunting feeling… all in the mind she reminded herself.

This was the chair where Nina sat, resting those nimble feet for the torment about to come for the sake of art. This was mirror where she probably stared back at herself, nitpicking every flaw and blemish, grinding it away, the coats of makeup hiding the real girl beneath it all. This was the polished floor, the practice canvass where the prodigy's body and mind were tortured, all for a dancing display of perfection, one that would shock anyone who would be privileged enough to see.

This was the Swan Queen's dressing room. For a long time this was Beth McIntyre's room. For that one night this was Nina Sayer's room.

Now unexpectedly... it was all hers.

"So you're the big lead now…" Lily muttered with a critiquing glance, staring at her own pretty face in the mirror, seemingly silently interrogating herself now with eyes that peeled away the surface. At this moment her facial expressions appeared blank like a deer in headlights. It wasn't too long until she forced a big smile upon herself to calm the status quo.

_This is what everyone dreams about right? … This is the ultimate goal… your ultimate goal._

Not surprisingly the reflection's smile didn't last very long.

Her own private expectations aside, the circumstances of her promotion to the highest honor was tainted as far as she was concerned. She technically didn't earn this spot nor went out of her way to be the lead. That was what she truly believed.

Lily turned her head towards the body mirror to her left, remembering the aftermath of that night. The reflective surface had been replaced with all new mirrors as expected, but the frozen images were never to be forgotten. Blood splotches on the floor, a shattered mirror, a serrated glass blade…

_This isn't the way it supposed to be was it?_

"So she told me you were there when she awoke."

Lily shook the initial surprise of hearing that familiar heavily accented voice, leering to herself at the audacity of the surprise entry. She turned to see the one responsible for this entire production, the boss as expected was peaking his handsome face in, blue eyes pushing his view onto Lily like the demanding man he was . Thomas Leroy was indeed the perfect figurehead and had the aura of one. He owned this thing. In Lily's opinion the girls believe he literally owns them and vice versa. The way they kissed up to him confirmed the pathetic relationship.

"Knocking on the door is not an east coast thing isn't it?" Lily quickly had her saucy self-going in no time, as she grinned devilishly.

No one owned her and she made sure everyone knew it.

"Apparently so." Thomas opened the door and stepped in without a fuss. He paced around the room with each heavy step of his boots, glancing about the compact room as Lily did, almost trying to reimagine the past days it if these walls could speak.

"How is she doing?"

"Good…" Thomas continued to circle. "She is with her mother now. They say she will make a full recovery."

"… All is well then."

"I believe so… yes."

Indeed all was well for Mr. Leroy. Lily remembered how Thomas was after Nina had been rushed to the hospital. It was like a tale of two men almost wrapped into one. Extreme and genuine concern would flash one moment of his new "Little Princess"… the next minute he'd be cursing in French about the production. Did he really care about Nina or was he afraid he'd lost his star? Lily couldn't put a gauge on it. Thomas wouldn't let anyone in on his thoughts; any woman in his life could tell you that. He had spoken to her about his concern for Nina as much as this Swan Lake production…

"This is relief for all of us." Thomas spoke bluntly in his proper voice, finally turning his attention back to Lily from behind, staring through her reflection. "I am glad you were there to appease her."

Lily nodded with little effort as she took her eyes back to the mirror as well. "Somebody had to. It was me you and her mom in a round a robin rotation." She tickled her thought of the official news of Nina's survival, replaying her awakening where for one moment Lily let her emotions through to someone. She had never cried in front of anyone in a long time. Why exactly she found Nina's near death encounter so emotionally overwhelming was as easy as an answer as it was difficult.

"… I guess I was the lucky one huh?"

"Yes, we are all glad she'll be okay." Thomas chortled in a small break of his seriousness, reaching his hand to his own neck and tapping in thought. Even he didn't know exactly where Lily and Nina stood. Were they friends? Were they rivals with respect?

Granted Thomas didn't really concern himself with that too much.

"Most importantly this is good news for you as well." Thomas advanced towards Lily in a creeping calm stroll. "Now, you can just concentrate on this part and lose yourself in this role. No more distractions."

"I never lost concentration." Lily fired back calmly as she felt his warm body inch closer, that image of Thomas closing on her reflection in the mirror.

"Confidence was never a problem with you." Thomas chuckled softly, advancing like a predator on its prey, examining her more and more with a stare that seemed to try and cut through all that Lily was from an exterior point of view. Whenever this man would eye one of his dancers they'd feel like he was undressing them. Surely in the physical sense but in the metaphysical as well. Even the most free, strong, and spirited dancers like Lily had to hold back their sensations of the strange combination of lust, nervousness, and unease.

Those tattoos of bird's wings were in Thomas' clear view thanks to Lily's skimpy black tank top. Her tan dark skin a perfect backdrop for the artwork of ink. His strong hands suddenly found themselves resting around Lily's soft shoulders, gripping down with a firm massaging touch. Lily just glanced down for a moment, having to force herself to glare back into the eyes of her teacher.

"This isn't the small time anymore Lily." Thomas accent bled a little bit of snobbish flare. "You have natural potential and sensuality that none of these girls have. I chose you because it all comes so easy for you."

Lily scoffed.

"And here I was thinking because I was just the cutest one." She bit back like a viper with sarcasm.

"And that's exactly what I am talking about." Thomas gently spun her around making Lily gasp a little, eyeing down his newest Swan Queen in the most serious and intense stares. It was silent domination. He began traveling his eyes down the wonders that was Lily's beautiful body. Starting from those thin but shapely legs. Ogling up those tight hips. Admiring her perfectly smooth midsection. Taking a few more seconds at that budding chest and finally finishing at that face of dark yet beautiful splendor.

This was the obscure and sexy mystery that was Lily. Different from Nina surely. But to him just as intoxicating of at thought to be his lead.

"This isn't a joke anymore my dear. You're in the biggest show, in the biggest role, and all eyes will be on you." Thomas tested her resolve with just that stare. "I chose you as alternate over Veronica because I believe you can put on a show like Nina did. I believe you have what it takes to follow even what happened that night."

_Really? How do you… follow perfection?_

"… And when she comes back?" Lily bit her lip instantly, regretting at the thought of asking that. She felt like one of those catty broads that were fighting for this spot.

"Nothing you will worry about." Thomas answered sternly. "I'll make a decision on whether or not what happens. Just be prepared like you were opening night and that's all you need to worry about."

"You got it chief."

"Remember this isn't San Francisco." Thomas pulled her in closer and whispered into her ear. "The heat is about to turn up. How you handle this is a real test of who you really are. Understood?"

Lily felt the warmth of his strong body yet cold words he had for her. It was a challenge. It was a warning. It was an ultimatum. It was an offer. With a cocky smile, unlike the rest of the girls had done, Lily wasn't going to crumble or falter. She pulled away from his strong grip, eyeing him as if he was just another person on the street. This was nothing Lily told herself. He was nothing…

"Just get ready for when I tear up the stage and add to this legacy of yours." Lily eyed him back as confidently as he would his own dancers. "You can thank me later…" she winked.

Thomas was amazed, attracted, and flabbergasted all at the same time. The confidence just oozed from this girl like it was all she was made out of. It was sexy. It was irresistible.

"That's what I want." Thomas patted her cheek gently with his hand, warming her face. "Tomorrow we'll get to work. Don't disappoint."

Lily waved as the enigma waltzed out of the room and closed the door with a soft shut. The moment finally gave way and the relief that flowed in was a nice change, like a storm that had just left an area battered but now was calm. She lets out a breath as she sat down on what was _her_ chair now, staring into the mirror now with her hands in her hair, psyching herself into preparation of what was to come.

_You've been through it all Lily._

_This will be nothing. _

_This is for you Nina._

Lily reached into her pockets, pressing her iPod unit, putting those headphones on again. She closed her eyes, getting lost inside the music as she could finally just have time to herself.

_I don't know what stressed me first  
Or how the pressure was fed  
But I know just what it feels like  
To have a voice in the back of my head_

_It's like a face that I hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time I lie  
A face that laughs every time I fall  
(And watches everything)_

_So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me  
Right underneath my skin…_

- B – B – B -

When word got out that Nina had been hospitalized the production more or less went into a dead and screeching halt. Internal structuring aside, with press coverage from local new stations and even the bigger global entities such as NBC and CBS, made for a media headache the ballet studio didn't bargain for. Stories of a dancer pushed too far would taint Thomas and his production of course, although at the same time the media coverage of Nina's injury ridden performance seemed to cause a stir that many on the inside were taking as positive publicity spin.

Lead dancer hurt… but continues on for the show and art itself.

It was like a movie…

"It fucking worked for that stupid Spider-Man musical a couple blocks down. Why not us?" Thomas blurted out in one the meeting with his sponsors.

The sponsors were the ones most worried. The sponsors of the show who actually saw opening night were the biggest voices of concern. Thomas was as brilliant a choreographer as he was a business man and had to appease every one of them. Frighteningly for his performers that made him even more intense of a master of ceremonies. Could Lily replace the brilliance that was Nina? That was what everyone wanted to know.

The show had become the hottest ticket in town.

The pressure was on.

After the small break from the various press and consequential reasons of a fallen lead, the first Thomas Leroy dress rehearsal after Nina was going as expected. Long hours. A vicious pace. And a lot of critiquing and pushing multiplied and amplified to places no one had ever seen. A competition or bets of who would screw up first between the dancers or challenges of who could one up the other was a common occurrence and this was no different.

In the darkness of the stage any onlooker could see the art. Lily was as brilliant with her body as much as anyone was. The spotlight was all on her glittering body as the dancers stayed in formation from behind, shadows in the darkness for this snow white princess to do her work. A plié to a brise was done by second nature, a spin to a pirouette completing the formation was tight and straight. Her adagio stage was smooth and sophisticated, this dancer knowing how to play the crowd. But even as most stood and watched with admiration the lead of the group was not satisfied.

He was more like disgusted.

"Stop! Stop!" Thomas yelled out all music shutting off and production crew beginning the chatter once again. The antsy atmosphere made for the most tense of places, Lily tapping her foot as Thomas slowly made his way onto the stage.

Adorned in the costume of the beautiful White Swan Lily gave a frustrated sigh, wondering what the hell she did wrong this time. Behind she heard a few girls giggling at her expense, Lily grinding her teeth not wanting to wait to give those bitches a piece of her mind.

"Lily what was that?" Thomas flared as he motioned for the lights to come up with a wave of his hand.

"I apologize Thomas…" Lily had a deadpan response, crossing her arms. "What exactly went wrong this time?"

"Hmm, I don't know where to start." Thomas shook his head with a finger to his chin, voice full of sarcasm as he sent out a few curses in French. "Let's see how about your lines? Your form? Your effort? You're losing your technique. We need to be perfect. Do you understand?"

"… Sorry, it's just after the umpteenth time doing it-"

"You're getting lazy." Thomas huffed finishing it for her, pulling her aside by her arm and to the corner.

"Look it wasn't laziness." Lily defended as she was dragged, completely insulted. "How can you say that?"

"You're dancing like you're a fucking back up dancer at a small club." Thomas berated her in a whisper. "Your demeanor is like you're going through the motions. This is not how you usually are. You've been getting worse as we continued on tonight. Honestly? It's like you don't even want to be here."

"Look it was just a mistake and a lapse…" Lily scowled. "Let's just do it over again."

"Do you even fucking want this part?" Thomas suddenly asked as his eyes lit up with not an ounce of pity or empathy.

"W-what do you mean?" Lily gasped at the insinuation.

"Just a mistake?" Thomas shook his head in frustration, bringing her close up so his breath was on her face. "The person before you almost gave her life for this role. Her effort was unparalleled. She breathed this role. She lived this role." He pointed at her accusingly with gritted teeth. "You? You're acting like this is playtime or recess or some shit like that. This is not the girl I chose to be the Swan Queen. The girl I wanted is in there somewhere and you better find it."

"… I..."

"People that night saw perfection Lily. Don't you understand?" Thomas softened as Lily seemed to get it into her head with her more concerned face. "I'm looking out for you. You're following an act that takes perfection. That takes _greatness. _You can't let this opportunity slip by! You're too good for anything less!"

_I am… too good… aren't I?_

Lily bit her lip, just nodding towards her teacher as she stood strong and calm. Her face was defiant but her ears were listening. Thomas gave a frustrated sigh as he held his head, the pressure on him finally showing at the seams. His message got through he hoped. Even he seemed to be a bit done with his own retentive militia type commands.

"Look everyone huddle up!" Thomas motioned for all dancers to circle around them as his voice increased tenfold. Lily took another deep breath as she felt she dodged a bullet, eyeing the lines of ballerinas that passed her, getting stares from her male and female peers as they walked by.

How different it was when she was just one of the girls behind Nina. Her free west coast spirit seemed to soften up the ladies and of course all the guys loved her still. But the minute she became the Swan Queen things changed. Jealousy enraged and sides were chosen. She was the new girl yet she was now the favorite. She just stepped off the plane and now she ruled the roost. It was unfair to the rest of them they thought.

It was a cut throat business…

"You all worked hard today and since it is the first real dress rehearsal back, I'm calling this practice a night early." Thomas smiled at the good news. "From the rumors around here it seems that I'm working you all a bit too hard and I don't want to work my talent into the ground now do I?" He smirked as a few chuckled around him. "Now before everyone leaves I want to introduce to you my new talent supervisor that I am honored to introduce. Madamoiselle if you please would grace us with your presence."

The entire room turned on cue and gasped on cue as well. The young dancer they thought they had lost walked gingerly to the stage. It was a sight no one was prepared to see. And even the most jaded of dancers seemed to appreciate this sight.

"Already out of bed," Lily muttered to herself with a happy hop to her step. "Now there's a trooper…"

"Hello everyone…" Nina nodded at them acknowledging them all in one swoop of her body, coming into the circle at Thomas' side. Dressed in her usual conservative coat and scarf, she looked refreshed, actually looking better than the days leading up to opening night most would say. The ballerinas crowded around her, giving her all gentle hugs and support as Lily stood from afar smiling at the sight of a walking and interacting Nina Sayers. It was an awesome and uplifting sight to say the least.

"Nina can't dance anytime soon but she will be my assistant and adviser to all of you." Thomas smiled taking his arm around her shoulders. "We are blessed to have her back. Together we're going to make this production a success am I right?"

The ballet squad gave their cheers behind Thomas, Nina just smiling meekly at it all. Lily and her make eyes contact for a second and Nina received a wink of pure approval. The group slowly broke apart bit by bit and hit the showers, saying their byes to Nina. Lily was about to walk over and converse but Nina was suddenly pulled by Thomas in a gentle nudge and embrace. The two were making their way towards his office at a ginger pace as Lily frozen still.

The new Swan Queen paused in hesitation as Nina was looking at her but being dragged away almost against her will. It would've been just awkward to interrupt it.

"Maybe later then I guess…"

Lily didn't follow. She couldn't. She could only give a slight wave from the darkness, Nina seemingly wanting to speak but didn't resist against Thomas' insistence that they had their own private time. In seconds Lily found herself alone in the stage, glancing out to only a few of the production crew staff wrapping up.

It was clear being alone in the dim lights for her.

Being on top was a lonely place.

She was going to have to get used to it.

- B – B – B -

Back in the dressing room Lily was quick and swift, wanting to get out of here and just relax for the rest of the night because she was an aching sore of a dancer. In the many San Francisco productions she was in, they weren't nearly this furious. Being a ballerina was a seven day a week job of constant practice even in those more laid back times. Ever since the lead of this production was hers, it felt like there weren't enough days to keep up in her opinion. She needed a 'Lily'day between Sunday and Monday she would often say…

Showering the sweat and makeup off, wiping down her exhausted body, she groaned and moaned as she cracked every sore bone in her body. The rhythmic hits of water cleansed her every thought away as she was trying to just cleanse her head just as much anything else. The steam poured out of the shower room, the girl grabbing onto the nearby towel to wrap around her naked body as the cold air surrounded her yet again.

The steam produced a thick layer of condensation on the mirrors, fogging out a blurry image of herself as she tried to take a gander at how she looked. Blindly combing her hair, popping those earrings in, and picking out her trendy wear, Lily got into her own comfortable digs and began packing her bags. She grabbed her trusty iPod and quickly played the music as she ran a last check of all her things so she wouldn't forget.

_I know I've got a face in me  
Points out all my mistakes to me  
You've got a face on the inside too and  
Your paranoia's probably worse_

_I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand  
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is  
I can't add up to what you can_

Lily grabbed the door handle, opening it with a twist, finding a surprise standing outside waiting for her as the door creaked away. She grabbed at her headphones smiling as she saw Nina leaning against the wall, hands in her coat waiting for her apparently.

"You know you could just knock." Lily informed her, not knowing how long this girl was waiting outside but from the looks of it she was in no hurry to see her.

Nina paused. Deep inside she wanted to tell Lily that she didn't want to go into that room. Underneath the pretty face she wanted to tell Lily she was afraid to speak to her. In all truth Nina wanted to tell her she didn't even want to be in this ballet theater for a while. It was too strange to open up about all that happened to her she thought. But dancing was her life… it was who she was.

Nina slowly grinned, looking downward slightly feeling awkward around this vixen still. "Thomas told me that you thought we east coasters don't like to knock so, I wanted to be consistent."

"Wow was that a joke I just heard from Nina?" Lily delighted in the greeting, closing her door and stepping outside, eyeing Ms. Sayers so closely with a genuine happy gaze. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"… I know." Nina it seems was still very soft spoken yet had a different vibe about her. Lily noticed a more comfortable vibe. A more satisfied with herself vibe. "Look, I just wanted to say thank you for watching over me. My mother… Thomas… told me you volunteered."

"Hey, you're one of us okay?" Lily would have none of the thanking. "I only wanted to be friendly since the day we met… it's no big deal."

"I know that now." Nina admitted as she blushed in her cheeks. She quickly turned towards the dark hallway where the stage entrance was if not only to hide her embarrassment. "I saw you dance the part of the White Swan in practice from far away." She said it, if only to take the attention away from herself.

Lily tingled as this was being brought up. The fact that she had taken Nina's spot still sat wrong with her and she didn't want any tension to exist between them. But…

"You danced the part so well Lily… I was impressed. I m-mean… I've been always impressed with your dancing but you seem to be getting even better as hard as it is to believe."

Apparently Nina didn't want any neither.

"Wow, t-thanks." Lily breathed with relief, leaning back against the doorway. A compliment from the girl who was supposed to be her rival was huge.

"It means a lot coming from you..." She looked down and grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her bag. "Too bad Thomas isn't exactly as complimentary as you are about my dancing…" She grabbed a lighter, blinking as Nina was staring. "Oh I'm sorry… cigarette?" she pulled one out and offered.

"Uh n-no thank you." Nina waved her hand to deny it, just watching as Lily shrugged, lighting the cig and pocketing the other one. She hit the nicotine like a much needed calming solvent. Nina could tell the effects of the pressure were already starting to take its toll.

"Lily, you know Thomas is just a passionate person. He wants you to be your best."

"… I know. He says it all the time." Lily looked at Nina hard as the girl was as genuine as they come. Even now as Lily used to feel this tension and rivalry between them, Nina seeming to snap and see her as some attention stealing hussy… all that seemed like the past.

_Thomas is passionate like you. Maybe a bit too passionate… Seeing what happened to you Nina._

"Look, I honestly wish you the best of luck Lily." Nina smiled as big as anyone had seen her smile, probably ever since she got the lead. "I'm here to help any of you if you wish me to. I just want this show to be a success. I want you to succeed"

"Well… at this fucking rate, I think I'm going to need it." Lily puffed another inhale, shooting it out to the side. "Say, how long till you can come back on stage with us and rock the house again?"

"… I am not sure actually." Nina crossed her arms, digging deep to say the next words as if it was like trying to pull the knife out of her yet again. "I have to go to rehab and into counseling… about what happened to me and everything."

Lily could feel the sorrow in her words.

"I have to square that all away before I could even think about… ballet again."

Lily now felt she was crossing a line of conversation neither of them were ready to travel to. All Nina knew was this life of make believe and Lily had that sense about her. This life of a dancer. Of a performer was everything to her... not just a career. There was no need to put a damper on this convo and Lily would have none of it. She quickly pulled back as she stuffed her cig with a press to the wall. "Hey, you know what? Why don't we catch up on dinner or something? It'll be on me again."

Nina's eyes seemed to double as if she was about to bark up the wrong tree yet one more time. Lily sensed it, remembering her not so fun reaction to the one night they did hang out together. Ecstasy isn't everyone's friend apparently.

"Hey about last time…" Lily shook her hands, eyes wide with empathy and apology. "Nina, I assure you, no funny business. We'll just grab some grub and we'll both go home. I just want to make it up to you and welcome you back."

"Oh…" Nina shook as well, feeling Lily got the wrong idea. "No it's not that…" she sighed. "It's just Thomas invited me to dinner already and-"

"… Teach is such the nice guy." Lily broke Nina's sympathetic look with her superficial smile. "Hey I can't break up you two lovebirds right? … Go ahead maybe we'll catch up some other time."

Lily grabbed her bags and was about to make way with that signature smirk at Nina, as yet again they had just another one of those awkward stares. "Um… well I better get going then. I don't want to hold you-"

"Lily, wait." Nina stopped her previous rival with a hand to her shoulder, reaching for her phone, dialing as Lily just goggled at her dumbly. She dialed the speed dial quickly, waiting a few rings before conversing.

"Thomas… y-yes… about tonight… I um, apologize but I feel tired and I think perhaps maybe we should have a rain check on dinner… I apologize again… N-no… Lily offered to take me back because it's on the way back to her home… Yes… I appreciate everything Thomas… I will be here tomorrow ready to go… yes. Thank you, Thomas. Bye…"

The phone was hung up with a blink, as if Nina had no idea why the hell she just did that.

"Wait a second. Did you just turn down a date with a hunk to hang out with little old me?" Lily teased as she giggled to herself, stroking her own ego with a sultry look.

"Hold on." Nina got defensive. "I just figured because of the situation of the whole production and you being my replacement, we needed to clear the air."

"Right…" Lily continued to tease with her tone and demeanor.

"Ugh, please don't make me regret this." Nina sighed at the sight of that look.

"You won't. There's this awesome deli I discovered on Fifth Avenue. We're so going." Lily began walking off as Nina followed, hands connecting in a friendly grip, the two rivals side by side walking out to the parking lot.

"I'm being serious when I offered my help Lily." Nina knew the pressures of this job and while Lily seemed so strong in her eyes, she knew any kind of help would aid a dancer in this situation. Lily rolled her eyes but would find something to ask.

"Well there is a question you could answer for me Nina."

"What?"

"Remember when you thought I spent the night that one time…?"

"Oh no…"

"Well…"

"…"

"Was I good or what?"

"Surprise, I am already regretting this… guess it's my own fault."

The two girls were like opposites yet got along like friends that had been together for years. Nina was sincere but that was what made it so fun for Lily. All Nina got in reply of her discomfort was a laugh that was as charming as it creeped her out in her most paranoid state. The lighter haired girl wouldn't resist too much anymore. She was done with that. Nina was just happy she was watching someone in the lead with all the pressures in the world still laughing and having fun. With what happened to Beth and then to herself she knew this wasn't going to be an easy road.

They had a lot of work to do.

A lot of problems to face.

She was hoping to make sure Lily wouldn't make the mistake she and Beth made.

_The sun goes down  
I feel the light betray me  
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin.._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: **Old Linkin Park lyrics just scream Black Swan to me...

Next chapter, dinner with Lily and Nina as they finally dig deeper into their pasts. The production steam rolls on as Lily's first showing draws close. Nina adjusts to being a helper instead of the star... not being able to dance leaves her life without much substance, and what about her living situation?

Will romance bloom yet...?

Who knows?

Stay tuned. :)


	3. Act II: Somehere I Belong

**A/N: **Random thought of the night... Mila Kunis is a gorgeous being. Yes she is.

* * *

**Act II: Somewhere I Belong**

A taxi cab ride and a zigzag through the busy streets of New York City and the two ballerinas finally made it to their destination. The _Cortina Lounge _sat dead red before the cluster jam that was the Time Square area, the eatery lit up moderately with only a simple logo sign and a see through window entrance. Not exactly _the_ spot for nightlife debauchery but more like the last stop right before and after it.

Inside the high end restaurant it was a nice and quaint place, most of its business catering to the young adults who were done with their clubbing fun, coming here to recover and lounge with some pristine food and beverages. The décor was a modern vibe with shined out edges of monotone black and white, scattered with paintings of abstract art that screamed Van Gogh or Picasso.

Dainty. Simple. Yet curiously inviting in a modern _Noir_ sort of way.

Nina figured Lily would gravitate to this kind of place.

_I could do without the paintings though._

"Hey I don't want to step on your toes but please let me order you." Lily insisted with an earnest snatch of their menus, Nina blankly watching her ordering tool soar across the table and off it. "I promise you, your taste buds will go to heaven."

"Always building up expectation aren't you?" Nina gladly gave Lily the reigns with her usual soft reply, letting her eyes toil around the restaurant, once and awhile taking a glance outside as the traffic jam down Fifth Avenue.

Lily kept to herself for the moment, her head against her comfy booth seat while having a look of just extreme interest. Ogling at the angelic nature that was Nina Sayers used to be a Thomas Leroy exclusive. Now that Lily was doing so she realized it was really adorable and tragic at the same time. She looked so innocent and nervous, like a lost puppy of the cutest kind. Certainly not as nervous as when they first met but it was a different kind of nervousness. The key words were cute _and_ lost. It was as if Nina still hadn't figured out how to calmly interact with others without over thinking it. Lily knew this girl was as wound up tight as an old doll but she was only scratching the surface.

As the days went by when Nina was in her coma, Lily noticed that only she, Thomas, and her mother were the only real visitors – of course a sprinkling of other dancers here and there visiting from time to time. It was sad how a girl like this didn't have others in her life. A young woman so pretty and talented… lost in her own world so deeply that she either chose to or couldn't be close to anyone. Erica, Nina's mother, probably had a lot to do with it Lily thought. This girl was the most sheltered person as much as she was the best ballet dancer Lily had ever seen.

Brilliance comes at a price it seemed.

"Sorry to keep you waiting ladies." A waitress swung by in a blurring speed with a pen and paper ready to go, struggling keeping up with the busy house. "Are you two ready to order?"

"Yes ma'am. Two House Special Club Sandwiches with seasoned curlies, and two Harvest Hefenweisens." Lily ordered quickly and decisively.

Nina blinked at the last part of the order recognizing the alcoholic beverage, defiantly shaking her head towards the waitress. "Uh, excuse me Miss, can you make it just one beer and some herbal lemon tea please?"

"Aw Nina, come on." Lily grabbed her wrist and shook, "Just one?" She brought up the universal hand signal for a single numeric value with that index finger. "For fun..?"

"… Tea please…" Nina wouldn't give in on this. Not this time. The stern face urging the waitress to change it as she shook against Lily's wish.

The waitress just gave them both a look of awkwardness, pleading for an answer or at least waiting for a congregation of bickering minds. After a few moments Lily rolled her eyes and conceded with a regretful nod that didn't sit completely well with her.

"Okay fine, make that two beers and a tea." She countered like a devil dealing with a new suitor.

"Excellent choice and compromise," The waitress smiled, really getting a good read on the two, writing down the order with a chuckling finish. "I can tell you two are a cute pair am I right?"

"We certainly do try don't we darling?" Lily shared a glancing look at the young waitress approvingly as she clenched Nina's wrists tightly pulling her close to show off how cute they were. Nina just blushed without reply, looking down as the teasing of their union was now spreading beyond the circle of two.

"Hah, now ain't you two a lucky bunch." The waitress pointed her pen at Nina, smiling gingerly at Lily. "We'll be back with your order in no time."

Lily had that air about her as the waitress strolled off, the one of a sexy deviant on a night on the town of course. Lily took a peak back at Nina who seemed little amused by her antics. That face she made reminded Lily of when Nina pulled her out to confront her about informing Thomas of her struggles. Probably not that upset but close.

"Oh come on, what now?" Lily chided. "I'll drink the second beer if you don't want it."

"Well firstly, yes you will be drinking it." Nina tilted her head, "Secondly why did you make it sound like we were some sort of… r-romantic pair?"

"Uh, because it's fun?" Lily laid it out plain and simple with a mischievous shrug. Her big eyes lit up for a second like a Christmas tree. "Oh! We can even pretend this is a play date or something."

Nina just reddened again as Lily's flaring nature made her fight the smile she wanted to spring out. The double edged sword of struggling containment and the deal with the warm embarrassment was worthy foe. But as always, Nina gutted it out. With every facial muscle in her thin façade, she successfully defended against such a reveal of approval.

"I just think it is slightly impolite. I honestly think that the waitress was giving you looks like she-"

"Wanted to fuck me?" Lily smiled as she finished for Nina in explicit fashion.

"… Was uncomfortable." Nina cleared that interruption up with a clear disregard to the prior statement.

Lily giggled as she opened up her purse, unzipping the entrance as her phone was sending alert noises in the form of a clip of Lady Gaga's _Poker Face_. "I think you mean _you _were uncomfortable right?" She began to reply to the text with those active fingers.

With a touché of agreement in the form a simple yet deep sigh, Nina just sat sipping away at her complimentary glass of water, knowing that this was the way Lily operated. In high school terms, Lily was probably the loud extravagant girl in the class. Getting all the attention by gorgeous looks and a sweet talking mouth. She was the one all the boys liked and from the looks of it all the girls liked too. Lily was probably the lead cheerleader with the shortest skirt, the everyone wanted to be with and she reveled in it. Honestly, it was strange sitting here next to her, Nina being the way she was.

Nina was the artsy one all to herself, the nerdy girl in class, beauty hiding behind social ineptitude. It was amazing how she so incited by someone like this. It probably helped that Lily was so genuine about the way she was… it was no act as far as Nina was concerned. That thought died the minute she awoke in the hospital.

Jealousy had slowly given way to admiration.

"Huh, I guess I'll start the conversation as usual." Lily put her elbow on the table as her phone was put away, curling those cute brows and leaned forward for some girl talk. "So… I am guessing it was Thomas' idea to put you in as his assistant?"

Nina nodded, recalling her telephone call with her director in the hospital. "I called him and told him what the doctors told me. He said he felt bad and told me what was going to happen with you and the lead role." she paused with a breathy inhale. "... I really… really wanted to help out anyway I could even though I couldn't… perform... so…"

"He offered you the spot." Lily finished with much more reverence to the situation, meekly poking at her drinking glass, thinking of what exactly was going on between Thomas and her. It was probably a romance but even she wasn't so sure. Things were a bit blurry backstage at the production that was the only thing that was ironically… clear.

Nina was reflecting. "I... just... couldn't imagine being away from the production as I healed, sitting at home and doing nothing."

_It isn't about me and my wants anymore…_

Lily swayed at the sweetness Nina showed. If the tables were turned Lily had trouble imagining she'd be so selfless. "… Hey, Nina, you belong on the stage but I think it's so awesome… how you're being a team player like this. Much respect…"

"What else can I do?" Nina breathed as she glanced downward, she too manipulating the moisture on her water glass, seeing her own distorted reflection in it. "I'm not going sit idly by and sulk… no… not anymore…"

Nina said the last words so quietly almost to herself but it spoke volumes to Lily. In this world of ballet where girls are looked at so superficially and judged so intensely, it's no surprise how everyone seems to be looking out for themselves. In the weeks leading up to opening night Lily hoped to kind of ease Nina's extreme aspects of these characteristics, not really knowing how bad it got for the Swan Queen until they found her bleeding on the hidden bed.

"… You know that night, when you put on the Black Swan get up." Lily paused, trying to conjure it up as if she was backstage opening night again, ready to go on. "I saw your face from behind the curtains and this vibe I got from you that sent shivers down my spine."

_Dead crimson eyes._

_White lifeless skin._

_A black soul…_

"… You turned into someone… something else."

Nina cringed at the thought. She felt uncomfortable even meandering on that night, she too having the sensation of a tingling nature whenever the traumatic images popped up. The blackness in her mind that overwhelmed her was no admiring matter. The sensuality that oozed from her loins to her darkened heart. The feathers that sprouted from her arms like a beast would. The evil scream she yelled out to the darkened crowd…

It all frightened her.

And it came from within…

"H-how did you do it?" Lily attempted to get at the money question. "What happened that night? It was like you were doing some sort of that Johnny Depp Method acting stuff…"

Nina nervously clasped her hands together, trying to stay focused, realizing they were just speaking and nothing more. Lily deserved some answers from her. If anything the knowledge Nina had could maybe help or inspire her in some sort of way. How many times did Nina walk out on Lily when she just was concerned? She owed Lily… something for the kindness.

"… It's hard to explain." Nina closed her eyes as she tried to lose herself in the moments. "I guess… it was sort of like being in a tunnel of darkness."

Lily's ears perked.

"I knew that I could get to that light at the end… somehow or someway." Nina began to whisper the words more than speak, "But the only way to do it was to venture on deeper and deeper into the tunnel. Getting more and more into the unknown."

_**"Free yourself Nina… Go crazy…"** _

_**"Just let it all go!"**_

"I kept walking and walking to the spec of light no matter how small. Not wanting to stop. Yes, it was scary. Yes I didn't know what to do." Nina imagined herself practicing alone all those nights in the studio. "But the thought of not reaching that light? The thought of not reaching my goal?"

_Perfection…_

"… It scared me more than anything else."

Nina was scared? Lily found it strange that the imagery Nina was describing felt like a heavy dose of fact rather than some abstract thoughts.

"It didn't matter what I had to do. Or what or… who I had to go through."

_**"Come on! Why don't you let me dance the part of the Black Swan?"**_

_**"No! This is MY PART BITCH!**_

Nina wheezed as she opened her eyes, the creepy blood red scowl of the Black Swan she swore were staring right at her. From underneath her coat she was actually breaking a cold sweat, looking at Lily who was as expected staring at her like she was some sort of strange science project. She curled into her little ball again, sighing, repeating and telling herself that it was all in her head.

"… This ballet thing is everything to you isn't?" Lily went to the heart of it all.

"Everything?" Nina muttered almost to herself, shaking her head. "No…"

_**"My little angel…"**_

_**"My little princess…"**_

"It's the _only_ thing…"

With those words Lily felt it for the first time. The crawling truth that made Nina tick like a delicate time bomb. She was a girl so powerful and strong in her ballet movements but with a mind and soul that was so fragile that the pressures from home, work, and everyone around her made her crack. Nina's obsession was what caused the damage done opening night. It was Nina's frailty but also her determination that created what everyone saw that night.

She put everything into this… and everyone mostly turned their backs on her.

… Or at least Nina made it so everyone didn't have a choice.

"Orders are here ladies! Enjoy!" The waitress timely broke up the intense conversation, laying out scrumptious looking and heavenly smelling deli sandwich platters with fried potato goodness. Two bottles of beers and a cup of tea sat in the middle, Lily and Nina now eyeing down their feast.

Nina's eyes always shunned the greasy foods as much as Lily wanted to gobble down all of it. The metabolism of Lily made it such an easy guilty pleasure to fulfill. Just another damn thing Nina had to be jealous about. Everything always comes so easy to Lily of course…

"I want you to scarf that down Nina. None of this girly picking at the sandwich crap." Lily picked hers up, giggling at the smorgasbord of fats and flavor to come.

"But I… am a girl…" Nina sniffed hesitantly, examining the toasted wheat bread slices, picking it up like it was an illegal drug.

"You're a woman and you're not going on stage for a while now just enjoy for God's sake…" Lily suddenly grabbed her sandwich and popped it into Nina's mouth, smearing the sandwich on unexpected lips.

"Mmph!" Nina had a mouthful of deli meats in her mouth by horrid surprise, Lily holding the food there with a devilish look.

"Now chew…" Lily threatened like she had a gun pointed at Nina, cold metal replaced with warm ham slices. "You need the energy to heal and it would make me very happy if this time you actually join me in some LEGAL not hallucinatory fun okay?"

Nina groaned and rolled her eyes at the mock threat, slowly beginning to chew away reluctantly like a punished child. Slowly but surely she felt the warm juices flow into her mouth, tickling her taste buds as the guilty pleasure set in. So long Nina had to keep her thin frame so small that she would be so strict on her diet. That and trips to the toilet were a mainstay in her culinary life. Even something this small like a comfort food night.

It felt good to just forget about the ballet world for a second in exchange something fun for once.

"Now is that so bad?" Lily laughed hysterically as she pulled her mischievous hand away, the aftermath of a scrunched up sandwich against one's face making Nina looking like a three year old toddler trying to eat a grownup's meal.

It was an understatement that Nina had a mouthful, trying to chew as she wiped her face with a napkin drawn across, scowling at Lily in a annoyed more so than angry manner. The former Swan lead's eyes bulged in horror next as Lily's iPhone took a quick photo snap, stashing away a her newest priceless picture. Nina huffed and groaned, trying to get the food down as Lily was amused with the image displayed on the phone's LED screen.

"This should so be my wallpaper don't you think?" Lily turned the phone so Nina could see a pair of puffed up chipmunk cheeks and a greasy mouth.

"Mm! You delete that right now!" Nina finally could breathe let alone speak, cleaning off the remnants of pastrami, just watching as Lily amusingly popped open her beer bottle, laughing up at her own humor. The laughing slowly got contagious Nina breaking a grin, staring at how stupid she looked.

For a girl so obsessed with how she looked and how perfect she was… it was strange laughing at herself like this.

_How long has it been since I've done that…?_

"I say now we're making progress… you're laughing with me." Lily pulled her beer to her lips, taking a nonchalant swig.

_Even when she drinks she's so… attractive._

"H-how do you do this to me?" Nina's laughter calmed, the girl genuinely staring in admiration of her previous rival. "I told you things tonight I couldn't even tell my mother…"

"Because you're being honest and I'm being honest." Lily took a glance over at the other beer bottle that she had opened already, and then took a peak at the warm tea cup with the steam fuming upwards. "So Nina Sayers are we going to do a matching toast or should I ask for some sugar cubes?"

Nina nibbled on her lip as she grinned at the girl who was replacing her spot. It felt so strange looking at this girl and not feeling any malice or jealousy. Then again it felt strange sitting here, not at home, and not thinking about her career for once. Nina shrugged, not taking her eyes of Lily as she reached over towards her beverage of choice.

"Congratulations on your part Lily." Nina bowed her head, feeling a weight on herself leave. "I know you're going to do amazing."

"Thanks babe, I won't let you down…" Lily replied as she extended her bottle.

"To a good production." Nina pushed her bottle against hers, clanging them together.

"To a new start for the both of us. Now bottoms up!"

The amber beverages hit the spot. Even the bitterness of the beer couldn't kill Nina's mood tonight.

It felt too sweet to be true.

- B – B – B -

( 1 Day From Re-Opening Night )

Nina stood next to Thomas as she, for the first time in her life, watched a true maestro at work from a behind the scenes. Whether it was directing or producing, she was eyeing his every move like a hawk rather a swan, wanting to learn from the best. The way he presented himself and the way he commanded the dancers as well as the entire show crew itself was an amazing feat. The lighting, the music, the stage directions, the props, the costumes… it was so much to worry about yet Thomas took it all in stride with a confidence befitting of the brilliance Nina held him at.

But as Lily so eloquently put once, "That cute ass doesn't make it any easier to look away huh?"

"Alright musicians stand by! Lighting can we please have a bit more of a blue tinge on the background for some depth?" Thomas shouted to the back. "Terry the prince of evil are you ready?"

"Yes sir!"

"Lily, are you ready my dear?"

"Always Thomas!" She shouted from backstage.

"Background dancers and hands clear stage… music in 5… 4… 3… 2…"

On cue Lily swayed out with the swagger of a rock star, dressed as the Black Swan without the full make up, and dragged out by the designated Prince to center stage as she was as stiff and cold like a dead body. In a tango of seduction and freakishness the ballerina leapt off from the grasps of the Prince, every sway and step as sultry and seductive as the girl who embodied the role. Nina watched Lily's every step seeing her old rival bring the Black Swan to life, every plié to pirouette leaving no trace of hesitation or technicality behind.

It was as raw as it should have been. As sensual as it could have been.

Speaking of sensual Nina felt eyes peer at her from the side, glancing at her as some forbidden treat. She tried to ignore it by keeping focus on the task at hand.

"… Lily is amazing." Nina stated in awe, her glare not leaving the stage in a combination of fear and nervousness.

"Of course, her Black Swan comes to her naturally and is brilliant." Thomas smiled at his apprentice, eyes peeling back towards stage as well if not just to disguise his real motives.

"… And what of her White Swan?" Nina almost didn't want to ask the question but couldn't help herself.

The silence that followed Thomas scowl had already spoken louder than words. The director sighed as he tapped his foot on the ground to the classical music piece. "Nina you have put the bar in a higher register that night. We cannot regress from that. That's not art. That's not my brand of ballet. That's not how our production company operates."

"Of course Thomas." Nina said the name in its full French dialect, perking as she finally turned to him. "But really, you cannot expect Lily to-"

"Equal you?" Thomas chuckled quietly to himself as he turned to her, now stepping close as a ballet partner would, running his fingers through her hair. Nina's heart raced as she was touched by him yet again, her skin on edge as her sensuality underneath was tickled to stimulation. "You're adorable my little princess, but don't worry. Lily has so much ability I have all the faith in her. Besides…"

He took his hands to hers holding them, letting his strong grip make her feel protected as it always did. Thomas dominated this girl every time. Probably like any girl he chose to have interest in.

"… She has you to help her directly am I right?"

"R-right…" Nina found the courage to look up at him mouths so close almost being nose to nose, remembering the vivid moment of opening night clearly.

The kiss as the Black Swan.

The kiss planted on those lips with a furious passion.

_It wasn't the same girl I am right now._

The music suddenly stopped in a climatic finish of clashing violins, those few watching applauding the rehearsal performance Lily gave. Lily stayed in character and in pose as Nina and Thomas had their own moment frozen in time forever as they separated their close encounter. In an awkward separation, the director moved towards the stage swiftly as Nina wanted to recover her pulsing heartbeat. She grabbed at her chest in a heavy breath as she had her personal space back, silenced almost like the night where Thomas seduced her, touching her places no man had ever done before.

"Bravo Lily, Terry." Thomas clapped. "I think we're done for today."

"Aw and we were just getting started right Terry?" Lily broke out of ballet pose and began to grind on Terry like they were at some club bouncing to hip hop, making the Prince laugh and play along. The playful bit where Lily began to spank the prince even brought out a chuckle from Thomas and serious giggling from Nina.

"Wow, it is nice to see you laugh again." Nina heard Thomas mention, the girl blushing and nodding away as she clapped for Lily. "My Swan Queen we're done for today. Prince, you and the fellow male swans stay back for one more meeting. That's a wrap!"

With those beautiful words everyone loved around these parts, production crew began to breakdown the rehearsal set.

"… So my new adviser of excellence," Lily strolled over to the end of the stage and knelt down to where Nina was below in the orchestral pit. "Anything you can give me for advice?"

"Your Black Swan was riveting and beautiful…" Nina conceded she had no words of improvement. "I've got nothing for you."

"Hah, just say I was hot and I won't pry about your critiques." Lily licked her fingertip and put it against her firm buttocks making a hissing noise because she wanted to make sure Nina knew she was 'on fire'.

"… Just go backstage and shower up…" Nina rolled her eyes. "You have a big night tomorrow so keep focused."

"Say, I noticed you were getting real close to teach while I was dancing." Lily smiled teasingly. "Did you tongue wrestle or what?" She whispered.

"Just go… you." Nina pointed backstage yet again.

"Meow, so catty of you advisor of mine." Lily laughed as she mimicked a predatory feline with a scratch of her 'claws'. "You're going to have to tell me sometime eventually…" She got up walking backstage. "Have fun with your date with Monsieur Thomas!" Lily finished with that mocking French flare.

"I will try…" Nina just smirked again as she too began to pick up her things for her dinner appointment with Thomas at her new apartment building, only to turn back and yell. "And it's not a date!"

"Wha~tever…" Lily replied from behind curtains.

- B – B – B -

With an exhausted pull, Lily took off her headdress as she made it back to the backstage area, prancing her way towards another night of freedom from the work. Most of the backup ballet roles had left only a few crewmen preparing to leave themselves. Being about fifty meters from her dressing room she notices a girl dressed in the Black Swan dress also, admiring herself in the mirror.

"I wish you luck tomorrow Lily." The dancer's words had very little hint of a genuine tone.

"… I'm sure Veronica." Lily puffed an annoyed breath as she stood arms crossed and unwelcoming.

"I think you'll need it as much as Thomas has been screaming at you lately don't you think?" Veronica had as much bite as she did her ballet work, turning to meet Lily's stare in a tense meeting of two dark swans.

"You know for some strange reason, ever since you've been named alternate I've been getting like a little ... gee… I dunno… bitchy attitude from you." Lily showed that she could bite right back. "Is that an accurate assessment?"

"Can you really blame me?" Veronica walked and closed in on Lily, targets set to fire. "I don't know why the fuck Thomas would choose you to replace Nina over many of us girls who've actually been here and performed for him for years."

"Maybe because most of you just can't cut it?" Lily shrugged with her voice full of agitation.

"You walk in here all late every practice and cute with your act like your some hot stuff." Veronica mocked her. "You don't fool me with any of your shit."

"I worked hard to get this part." Lily defended with a growl. "Don't you think any less of it."

"Oh yes, I'm sure you worked _so _hard." Veronica suddenly made an oval shape with her hand and mouth, pretending to do something vulgar as she rhythmically moved her grip. "I'm sure you and Thomas have a lot of personal time to verify how hard you worked."

"You bitch…"

"I see right through you and your phony little innocent San Francisco girl act." Veronica kept on insinuating. "You pretend to be so laid back when you're just as conniving as the rest of us here. You buttered up Thomas. And of course you buttered up the lead girl Nina, who's now the assistant and you're the lead. Wow, what a coincidence."

"You leave Nina out of this." Lily finally walked up to her, butting her chest out. "You have a problem with me? I dare you to do something about it."

"Hah! You actually really do believe you're just some randomly friendly girl with an affinity to get with those in high places don't you?" Veronica sighed mockingly, rejecting the offer to get physical. "This is so sad. Playing with Nina like this don't you think? She's been through so much…"

"You know what's sad?" Lily growled as she felt like she wanted to pounce on her. "The fact that I have your so-called 'lead part' and you're going to be stuck riding the background for another year!" The insult hit the spot as Veronica was now steaming just like her.

"… Like I said Swan Queen…" Veronica's glare was full of hate as she spat the words. "Good luck to you, because one slip up? And you're probably getting your ass sent back to the west coast where it belongs."

With the last words of warning Veronica stormed out with her head held up high like the villain would, leaving Lily there standing like a furious volcano ready to burst. The accusatory words tore at her like no physical damage ever could. In the mirror she thought harshly as she stared at herself. She wasn't a fake. She wasn't a phony.

_I wouldn't do those things…_

_I couldn't…_

She couldn't believe it but a sinking feeling was overcoming her deep from within like ghosts from the past. This was the last thing she needed before her opening night but it was here.

Doubt.

"Fuck…" Lily sighed at her reflection as she slammed her fist to the makeup station.

* * *

**A/N: **Next chapter opening night for Lily... let the fun begin! :)


	4. Act III: Don't Think

**A/N: **I wrote this listening to "Don't Think" - Chemical Brothers, from the club scene in the movie which inspires this chapter a lot. That scene is freaky and sexy! :) About Nina's psychosis and schizophrenia. I don't think people would automatically assume she was that unless she told them so. Owen Wilson had a suicide attempt and no one called him psycho just yet... in this story she is diagnosed with severe depression and stress.

But that's what she is 'diagnosed' with.

Thanks for the support everyone.

* * *

**Act III: Don't Think**

_Let me go…_

Comfortably numb.

The rhythmic pulse was all she could feel.

The bass frequencies from the club's sound system were overwhelming her senses, Nina feeling wave after wave slam straight into her with mechanical precision, an emotionless groove that caressed her ears and body into a frantic primal dance. Deep inside, the rhythm matched her racing heart, pushing hard against her bony chest, forcing her to move almost against her will. Neon colors flashed around her in a confused flurry, bouncing to music just like she was. Like everyone _else_ was.

_Don't worry..._

_Just let it all go…_

She felt unreal. It almost seemed out of body. Nina could have been any of these club goers around her, contorting, thrusting, and grinding their bodies together – all in a sinful display of tainted lust that she felt was unspeakable. There was male on female. Male on male. Female on female. It didn't matter it seemed. Ballet taught her that dance was about discipline and the beauty of the arts. This rhythmic miming of human passion she was partaking in was a dance in a way she never knew. A dance of the most primitive of natures….

A dance with no control.

_Nina… _

A dance with no precision.

_Nina… _

Only lust.

_SET ME FREE!_

"Nina!"

She could barely hear it. Nina was lost in the chaos of the dance floor, trying to catch her breath as her mind was overwhelmed with feelings so alien to her. The voice pulled her eyes across the lustful stares of sweating men and woman, all vying for a piece of her body, grinding and pulling her with sinful intentions. Her weightless form tumbled into the arms of a familiar face – that face smiling at her, drawing her in like always.

"Hah, someone looks like they're having fun!" Lily yelled into her ears with an ecstatic laugh as she brought them cheek to cheek.

Nina just beamed dumbly and didn't even reply to that sultry gaze, only closing her eyes in ecstasy, burying her face into Lily's shoulder as she fell forward limply. Lily caught Nina's wavering body with a tight grip around her shoulders, Nina breathing deep through her nose as she couldn't get enough of the sweetness that was Lily's bare skin. The scent was putting her in a trance and was intoxicating her as the drug that started this journey. She cooed as she felt Lily's arms wrap around her as they swayed to the music, embracing the warmth and depraved atmosphere.

"I had my doubts Nina, but I knew you could dance without a tutu!" Lily complimented over the bumping music as she pulled away gently, making a dismayed Nina open her entranced eyes curiously. "Now let me see all you got..."

_Oh, it feels good doesn't it?_

Nina let out a pleasurable gasp, sensing her knees buckle as she felt Lily's thigh press up against hers, skin against skin. The only reason she didn't collapse was because Lily's arms were coiled like snakes around her thin waist, pulling both their lower halves tightly together in a lustful bond. Nina was hesitant at first but that lasted only but a moment. The ballerina reluctantly grooved as the music took her yet again, both those girls' hips thrusting forward, both now moving in unison.

Bare skin to bare skin, dress to dress, Lily's and Nina's mouths were agape as their bodies smoothly caressed one another, sensations of pleasure and desire oozing through Nina's loins.

Lily was so beautiful.

_You want her so bad don't you?_

So mysterious.

So… sexy…

_I want her too…_

Nina's breathing only intensified as the music seemed to pick up the pace, Lily relentless in her grinds and strokes. The pleasure was almost unbearable, a throbbing deep inside Nina that felt like it wanted to scream out. There wasn't a thought of control. There wasn't a concern with getting anything correct or perfect. There were only her and her immoral feelings towards this sex driven creature.

Creatures…

_I want everything Nina._

_Everything!_

Lily was strangely oblivious to it all as they shared in their ecstasy but Nina sensed it as clear as day. She couldn't voice her displeasure as in an instant Lily's lips seemed to silence her. Even in the pleasure filled trance Nina felt _they_ all were closing in around them like predators on the hunt. Nina's eyes rolled to the left and right as she felt lips on her neck, hands on her perky chest, caressing fingers against her belly and underskirt, feeling every sensation that was making her want to cry out. Lily's lips wouldn't let her do so. It was scary but the pleasure was actually becoming painful…

Black birds.

Headless Dancers.

Distorted Monsters.

A Dying White Swan.

_They're all out to get us…_

- B – B – B -

"Huh, a night at the club gone wrong. That sure brings back memories for me. Heh, like last night's memories!"

The words came slowly with a stern statement as much as it was perkily voiced. Nina laid puzzled as she was in her required therapy session. The reaction of her listener made her know this wasn't the most professional of psychiatrists but at least she was really nice and laid back.

"I'm just kidding by the way…"

With some high pitched poking following soon after, Nina heard that doctor's pen scratch against that notebook yet again. The ballerina was antsy but calm, lying her head down against the couch's arm rest, staring up at the dead white ceiling. Her arms coiled around her body as she retold the tale of when things began to spiral out of control in the last month, hugging herself almost being the only comfort she had.

It was difficult for Nina to open up completely. The ambiguity of her club story was the only option. The question of this psychiatric counselor was a bit unfair to say the least. How could she explain all that happened to someone who didn't even know her?

"So you don't remember who you went to the club with that night?"

"No." Nina closed her eyes in the lie.

"I see…" The psychiatrist leaned back against her leather seat, Nina getting the sense that this woman while fun could see right through her. This was confirmed as that blue pen was tapped against wood impatiently. "So, it was that night that you could remember where it all started?"

"N-no but… it was the most vivid for sure." Nina stuttered in deep thought about that evening. Although the memories felt like scrambled eggs, she knew it was the night she first let all her doubts and worries go. The night where she finally 'lived' for once. Of course all thoughts focused more specifically in the end. Lily being so close to her, feeling her warm breath against her lips, all the feelings of letting go for her sake being a drug that consumed her.

"Some people do react to certain drugs quite badly but I think there's much more to this than just one night." The psychiatrist was speaking so elementary; Nina knowing that she wasn't buying this is an entire explanation to her breakdown. "Anything else you want to share with me about it?"

_The hallucination after the club… maybe?_

"It's just a big blur to me… honestly." Nina defended herself from any more mental prodding with a simple excuse.

"Look dear, I know it's hard, but you have to trust me if we're going to make any breakthroughs." The blonde doctor adjusted her seat, leaning forward as she adjusted those thick black bifocals as well. "Okay what about your love life? Do you have a boyfriend? A fiancé?"

Love life? That was a strange topic…

"N-no… and I don't see how that pertains to anything."

"Love is the most polarizing feeling known to mankind." The doctor smirked in her own defense. "Now, are you interested in anyone at the moment?"

Awkward pause.

"I… um… don't know what to say."

"Hmm, you said something earlier about how you felt your own teacher was-"

"Thomas…" Nina reminded, the name making her jolt inside.

"Yes… Thomas." The doctor stared closely at her reaction. "What is your relationship with him like?"

Nina blankly looked at the ceiling again as she said not knowing what words would be acceptable to divulge. What of her and Thomas Leroy? On one hand they have kissed. She had been seduced and totally amored by him. Thomas gave her a chance at making a dream a reality with his opportunity of being Swan Queen. Thomas LeRoy was integral for her accomplishments as a dancer and now was at her side when she needed someone the most. Only a fool would deny someone like this a place in their heart.

But deep down in the pit of her stomach and mind was confusion… the struggling of what Nina would call the biggest fool.

Even last night at the dinner, it was awkward as Thomas ate with her in her newly furnished apartment home, sharing a glass of champagne and making jokes earlier in the night. He was entertaining, charming, and sexually imposing as usual. It was only a matter of time until they were close on the couch, Thomas forcing his strong hands and lips to her, the two making out instantly like a pair of stirred teenagers. What was just fun and games soon became a furious and rugged dance as Nina felt her clothes being pulled away.

Just like that though the night stopped and surprisingly Thomas went home without much satisfaction.

She told him she wasn't ready.

Honestly at this rate she wasn't sure if she would _ever_ be ready for him.

"… I don't know where I stand with him." Nina answered after the long pause, making the psychiatrist drop her attention in disappointment.

"Okay, alright then… um, let's get to your family then…"

_Oh no…_

"You used to live with your single mother am I correct?"

Nina tried to stop it but could only nod desperately as the thoughts of her mother began to flood her mind. It was like a monsoon coming down upon a third world village. Her last phone call with her mother was superficially supportive but still had that tone of what had been terrorizing her life for too many years. Her mother's worry and overbearing nature was only softened by a near death experience after all. Nina needed to move out for a reason and speaking about this right now was too soon in her mind.

"Ms. Quinn, I thank you for this but c-can we continue this tomorrow?" Nina suddenly sat up, her sympathetic face begging for a way out.

"First just call me Harley." The blonde curled her eyes. "Second, we've only been here for half an hour. Your session is a required hour."

"I know but… it's the first day of this and…" Nina began fidgeting with her fingers.

"Alright… alright…" Harley interrupted calmly, surprisingly giving in quickly, standing up and grabbing her papers. "Now, I'm letting you go early today ONLY because I know it's difficult the first time. I expect more openness from you tomorrow. Understood?"

Nina smiled appreciatively as she grabbed her purse. The ballerina's luck seemed strong these days as her spirits were lifted again by a bit of kindness. It was almost like this doctor was the perfect one for her. Dr. Harley Quinn was extremely kind, young and empathetic, probably a similar age to Nina herself. She'd be truly perfect if not for a bit loose professionalism and that high pitched energy in her personality and voice.

"Now you have your medication right?" Harley handed her the list to go over. "Sleeping pills for if you have trouble going to bed. Anti-depressants as well?"

"Uh, yes. I believe I have everything." Nina confirmed as she looked over the list paper, almost amazed if not horrified at how much drugs she was on. It's strange how a pill can save all your problems right?

"Good. Now, if you feel strange or just feel bad please give us a call anytime."

"Yes Harley, thank you so much."

"See you tomorrow 8:30 a.m. sharp Miss S."

- B – B – B -

Showtime was arriving fast and it snuck up on almost everyone but Thomas himself. The lead of the group was as always on the ball and calm but even he was surprised at the pandemonium that was this 2nd Opening Night. Outside theater it was a frenzy that was usually saved for a celebrity get-together in Los Angeles. Nina of course was surprised as well. Usually there wasn't this much hoopla over a show like this. As big as Thomas Leroy and his production company was, ballet was still the beneficiary of a niche type of audience – small relative to other types of entertainment. Outside it looked more like a rock concert to be honest and it seemed all the hype was true.

The coverage Nina garnered with her controversial performance was bearing fruit. Those 5,000,000 YouTube hits and counting of "A Bleeding Ballerina" meant something.

With an open of the backdoor and passing through a plethora of security guards, Nina arrived through the back of the Performance Arts center as the hectic nature of a ballet production backstage was running full force. Girls were running around like chickens without heads as they were doing final costume checkups. Makeup designers were begging their walking canvasses for one more touchup to make it perfect, and assistant producers were running final light and stage prop setups, praying nothing would go wrong.

Nina was supposed to be at Thomas side at this point and was trying to find him. From down the corner she sees a head pop out of a dressing room, stopping the girl right on her tracks with those agile toes.

"Oh awesome timing you!" Lily waved towards Nina, hiding her body in the doorway for some reason. "Hey Nina can you come here? I need some help!" her head popped back in like a gopher as fast as she appeared.

"Uh, Lily?" Nina blinked curiously as she walked down towards the room with much reluctance, slowly but surely realizing where she had to go.

The bloody room where it all happened was like some sort of ominous area where Nina hadn't stepped into since that night. It felt like silly superstition but in her fragile state her fear was an overwhelming feeling that couldn't be reasoned with. But strangely as she kept hearing a thumping beat and loud rumblings coming from the Swan Queen's room; even she had to put away her personal thoughts of paranoia.

_Poppin' bottles in the ice  
Like a blizzard  
When we drink we do it right,  
Gettin' Slizzard._

_Sippin' Sizurp in ride,  
Like a Three 6  
Now I'm flyin' so high like a G6_

"Lily?"

Nina tentatively grabbed the door knob and opened it up, glancing inside as a cranked boom box was responsible for the loud rattling. The sonic euphoria wasn't exactly the main attraction and it almost sounded like nothing for a split second to Nina. She could only gaze on with a bit of quirkiness as the sight in front of her would make anyone just silently ogle in admiration if not absurdity. Lily was standing there only in a towel wrapped around her body, wet from a just finished shower. Dancing as if she was back in the club, swaying those hips, and shaking her toush, Nina couldn't believe this could be the warm up of a proper Swan Queen.

"Like a G6! Like a G6! N-n-n-now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6!" Lily sang loudly and proudly as she turned seeing Nina with a happy face. "God don't you love this song!"

The music was way too loud.

"Lily! Can you please turn that down?" Nina winced as she plugged her ears, getting over the preliminary excitement of a towel adorned Lily. The Swan Queen complied quickly with a huff, turning down the volume knob as she swayed her smooth self over towards Nina.

"Sorry." Lily as always played it so innocent. "When you give a girl like me her own dressing room, she needs to break it in." She walked over to Nina with a hip hop strut as the music still playing at lower volumes. "It's better than sharing a room with twenty catty ballerinas that's for sure."

"Apparently so…" Nina blushed looking down towards tiles as she tried to not stare at Lily's toweled body. She nervously glanced around the room for an out, observing a new type of decorative style that Lily had imposed onto the room. Two pictures of famous Hollywood stars were posted where the shower room was. Lily really was making this her own room now.

"Like what I've done with the place huh?" Lily walked over towards the area of interest, planting a playful kiss on both the pictures as if they were the real deals. "Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie… aren't they just the cutest?"

Nina just blinked away. "U-um… you are attracted to them… _both?"_

"Uh, who doesn't love those two?" Lily questioned puzzled.

"I just wasn't sure if you were even… attracted to women." Nina wanted to bite her tongue till it bleed, knowing this was a territory of very little comfort for her.

"Hmm, well besides the fact that any straight girl would love to fuck Angelina anyway." Lily added that point poignantly. "I'm from San Francisco babe. If you're not at least bi-curious something is really wrong with you."

"R-right of course." Nina relayed the knowledge to herself, almost already knowing the answer she was going to get from Lily but having the confirmation sober made it more official. It kind of made her happy to hear it… strangely.

"How about you madam?" Lily turned the tables like a pro, those wet dark bangs of hers whisking to the side as she turned her head in a seductive manner.

"M-me?" Nina stepped back both mentally and physically. "Y-you mean am I…"

"A fan of Matt Damon?" Lily scoffed disappointed but jokingly. "No silly! I'm just making sure I got you 'straight' is all. I am guessing you're at least bi-curious… am I right?"

"Lily… please…"

"What? I thought we had an open discussion here."

Nina's now silence spoke louder than words.

"Ah I see." Lily snuggly grinned to herself, crossing her lean arms in confident subtlety. "Is Lily being a big old prod again?"

"Yes…" Nina confirmed bashfully.

"Well it's just I tell you everything about me and I get nothing. Does that sound fair?"

"Please, just tell me what you need." Nina had now gotten over Lily's sexually charged post shower get up at this point. "I need to get back and help Thomas."

"Help Thomas?" Lily gave a curled look that made Nina feel crazy. "Nina, the guy's been running the show for years without an official assistant! Just relax. I just needed someone's help with _this_."

Cranking up the heightened mood, Lily abruptly turned around, doing something that made Nina literally twitch of surprise, horror, and internal excitement. Her damp white towel dropped away from her body and hit the floor as silent as a feather. Lily was now standing freely like it was happening in slow motion, Nina seeing her entire backside in the nude. Nina didn't know whether to run away as her mind was telling her, but another side couldn't let her eyes rip away. That slender body, that smooth back, that nicely shaped and curved…

"I need you to magically make these tattoos go poof be gone." Lily made a wiggling motion with her fingers like a wizard would, gesturing Nina to the skin toner mask that was on the desk with the other.

"… Hiding your tattoos." Nina mumbled dumbly, red hot inside her body and cheeks knowing that the front side naked show was just a few footsteps to the right or left. Lily used the mirror to track Nina's movements, of course being amused at how the former Swan Queen was dealing with her brash comfort in her own body. Making Nina squeal was a cute guilty pleasure.

"For the White Swan they'll be gone but once the Black Swan hits? Boom! I got some bad ass wings. Cool huh?"

"Y-yes that'll be quite the impactful detail." Nina agreed halfly listening; shaking her head and trying to stay composed and focused. Gradually she was building herself up to work on this temple of a lean ballerina body. It was ironically the best choice to choose Nina for Lily. For those scars on those lean shoulders of Nina Sayers made her an expert at hiding things with makeup.

"Brrr, hurry up its cold in here Nina. I won't bite…" Lily pleaded cutely and teasingly.

Nina held her own inhibitions inside like she always did and began to work in the make up with the brush like a tentative child, her fingers against Lily's back softly. As always this was a feeling of excitement and nervousness that Lily's presence brought with her. Only this time this was compounded to a level where Nina was just almost beside herself. Growing friendship or not, being sober and being this close to Lily was just… so many things she couldn't explain it. She was actually touching her bare skin. So smooth…

"I am making you nervous aren't I?" Lily just peered upward cutely, herself enjoying Nina's touch without much reaction. There was no line Lily wouldn't cross.

"Nervous isn't _exactly_ the word."

"Oh?" Lily smirked about to step over another line. "How about… aroused then?"

"… I… y-you enjoy just watching me look stupid don't you?"

"Stupid isn't _exactly_ the word." Lily laughed as she wisely spun the statement back towards Nina. She was pretty and clever. That was all part of her aura and charm.

Surprisingly to even Lily, Nina broke a smile as the darker haired one appeared to just find a way to turn this sheltered nervous girl into a friend who could just exchange quips. For Nina she just focused on those tattoos with no distractive temptation and it helped gravely with the naked eye feast that was Lily. Those beautiful wings of a swan, etched with perfect precision, contrasting greatly with the canvas that was Lily's posterior.

"These tattoos are beautiful." Nina commented with all truth as she started to cover one up with a base coat. These tattoos were works of art as far as she was concerned.

"Thanks." Lily appreciated the words. "Why? Is Ms. Perfect thinking about getting one?"

"… N-no…" Nina shook her head quite quickly as if it was an unrealistic desire. "Aren't these sort of a permanent thing?"

"Wow, you really are the careful thinker." Lily clapped her hands amusingly. "I should try to be more like that. I'm more of the jump into it and ask questions later type of gal."

"I just don't see a reason for me to get one." Nina finished the base coat, stroking passed Lily's shoulder blade, feeling the lean muscle beneath. "Uh, w-what made you want to get these tattoos?"

With that question Lily paused for a moment, Nina noticing for the first time some real hesitant thought coming from her old rival. The new Swan Queen rubbed her arms as she stared to the ground in a broken grin. It was as if she was pulling something from a long time ago into her mind. Images that took a while to process.

"I was young and stupid Nina… that's all."

There was no playfulness in those words and it made it that much more discerning for Nina as she looked into the reflection of Lily's face. For a split second there wasn't that carefree smile or that sensual look. It was a side Nina had never seen before. A side of discomfort…

"Nina what do you really think of me?"

_What do I think of you?_

"Um, what do you mean?"

"I meant what I asked." Lily peered over her shoulder, glancing back at the reflection that was Nina to her rear. Nina couldn't really understand what Lily was asking. She thought they had cleared up where they stood yesterday over that nice dinner. Some filler words began to pop up.

"Well I think you're a nice person. A wonderful dancer."

"Okay, yes I was expecting the kiss my ass answers but I am being serious." Lily insisted again. "You're not mad at me are you? Not even the least bit? You… trust me don't you?"

_Why are you questioning me?_

"Yes… didn't I tell you this already?"

"Yes… I know." Lily scrunched her neck to the side. "It's just… I have a feeling that deep down something's still not right between us… crazy right?"

Crazy…

"N-no… I meant what I said Lily." Nina paused her make up work for a second, trying to be careful with her words. "I am fine with you being lead. Why are you asking me this now?"

"I j-just got to thinking yesterday…" Lily continued to push the issue, thinking of what Veronica was accusing her of and how angry it made her. If it was all bullshit then why did it bother her so much?

"You promise everything is alright Nina?"

"Yes… I…"

_Think… I do._

"… Promise."

Lily let out a deep breath as she nodded, taking Nina's words to heart if not fully in mind. Nina's confusion with the question made her work more calmly, actually worrying for Lily as she patted down the skin with powder. Was the infallible Lily actually wilting under the show pressure? Nina showed her professional work as she completed the disappearing tattoo trick in record time.

"It's done."

Lily perked up and spun around so she could glance in the mirror, almost in a naive way now flaunting the front side to which made Nina turn her eyes away in embarrassment. Lily stroked her shoulder blades amazed at the job Nina did, the usual work from her makeup artist not even close to this good.

"Wow this is amazing Nina, it looks just like my skin."

"I get a lot of practice." Nina gulped as now that her attention was no longer occupied. "So um… I guess now I'll be going then…"

"No please… come on! Just stay so you can give me company till show time." Lily pleaded grabbing Nina's hand. This was bringing flashbacks of the time Nina ran into Lily at the sponsor party, both of the girls meeting for the first time in a bathroom. How sleazily appropriate Nina thought.

"Alright…" Nina opened her eyes noticing now Lily was already beginning to assemble her White Swan outfit. As much as Nina knew she'd want to see Lily nude for some sick reason, she had a feeling she wasn't exactly ready for it yet.

Lily kept glancing in the mirror, getting dressed up in the tight white number, peaking over at Nina as the assistant sat down. The silence and sight of Lily finally in clothing let Nina finally breathe in this room. It wasn't exactly a pleasant thought. Even with Lily's presence she began to feel it. That same isolation and loneliness that let her madness take over her. She sat in that chair just like Lily did right now… preparing for the night of her life.

The Black Swan outfit was hanging in the closet, Nina's eyes slowly peaking that way. It was a memory unlocking itself as she then peaked over to the doorway to the shower, where the puddle of blood came rushing out. That was the costume Lily had on when they battled in this room to the death. Nina began feeling lightheaded. She… _hated_ this room.

"Hey are you okay?" Lily took her hand shaking, Nina breaking back into the reality.

"Y-yes… w-why?" Nina felt like she almost nodded out.

"You just kept staring at the ground not saying anything." Lily blinked. "I asked you how do I look?"

Nina didn't notice the time pass by, now ogling from head to toe the most beautiful White Swan she had ever seen. Lily fit it so nicely, hugging her every lean curve, it being a real treat for the eyes to see her in a light colored get up so up close. The blacks didn't do this girl justice.

"You look beautiful." Nina had a moment of weakness as she breathed the words.

"Why thank you advisor." Lily bowed, hugging herself and making a playful over dramatic stare to the ceiling. "Oh where oh where is my prince? For I am the virgin swan! Desperate for help and attention!"

Nina blinked at the Shakespearian over acting. The word virgin and Lily don't even belong in the same paragraph let alone sentence.

"Not going to win an Oscar am I?" Lily knelt down to Nina's lap as the lighter haired one shook her head. Nina suddenly felt a rush of warmth rush around her legs, Lily hugging them as she glanced up appreciatively with honest eyes.

"Nina thanks for accepting me… it really means everything to me." Lily spilled out something different rather than playful sexiness. How about real emotion for once?

"I… it's nothing Lily." Nina smiled back in just as much appreciation. For Lily she began to honestly believe Nina's heart was in it when said she was alright with her having the Swan Queen role. Right now Nina had her own realization. That all her fears and doubts waned almost to non-existence whenever Lily was around and had her complete attention. If she were alone in this room she had no idea how she would react. If it wasn't for Lily, Nina probably wouldn't even be here.

"Thank you…" Lily almost whispered it being a couple inches away from Nina's face, their noses almost touching.

Their eyes locked deeply into each other, both admiring the most beautiful complexions they had both come across. Their bodies kept telling them to get closer both feeling the urge to connect. The moment that came next was about to make them both feel lightheaded but…

KNOCK KNOCK!

"There I knocked Lily! You have thirty minutes! Get your ass out to the stage and stand by!"

Lily huffed as she blew upward, Nina backing away, finally getting to breathe again. A moment like this ruined was like being sideswiped by the New York City Metro.

"Alright Thomas! I'm coming!"

Lily turned to Nina and began to shake her dancer's body. "I guess it's show time baby!"

_She's not nervous at all…_

- B - B – B -

Lily felt the energy out in the crowd as she stood behind the curtains. A humming roar was seeping out from the theater seating area. The Swan Queen was stretching her arms and legs, pumping herself up as she jumped up and down, an intense energy overcoming her. Lily was fun and games but when it came down to dance she was as in the zone as any ballerina was. For her? There was no one around her. It was just her and the stage. This was her time.

"Alright Lily, this is what we've been training for." Thomas walked over taking her arms into his hands. "Are you ready to continue where we left off?"

"Yes Thomas… this crowd won't know what hit them." Lily bounced in his grip.

"That's my girl." Thomas smiled, turning to the other dancers. "This is all your moments! Do not cheat yourselves by doing anything less than excellence!"

Nina admired the charisma from behind as she walked over to Lily with a notepad in her hand. She just got done checking the ballerinas for any last questions, now finally being able to stand side by side with Lily as they both stared at the stage. Nina had run through this before. Lily was about to hit a roller coaster she would never forget.

"Is everything okay?" Nina asked, imagining the night of pure intensity, waiting for her moment on the stage.

"More than okay… I just want to get out there and do my thing now!" Lily shivered. "This wait is killing me."

"Just stay calm and remember, just like practice." Nina adjusted her radio microphone she now had to communicate with Thomas from across the stage.

"Wow you look so professional with that mic thing." Lily poked at the microphone headset.

"You… just keep your mind on the performance. Good luck alright?" Nina giggled as Lily kept prodding at the pretentious tool.

"You just wait here. I want to see you when I am done with the first act." Lily patted her cheek as the music hit, ballerinas beginning to pour on stage. Nina waved as Lily smoothly backed up, for the first time the spotlight hitting her as the crowd was now locked onto that ball of energy.

The act went smoothly, Nina admiring from the side what everyone was seeing on the stage. Lily kicked it up to a level that no one had seen, hitting moves so precise and effortless, position transitions as smooth as a Swan would be. Her eyes looked so innocent, her motions so beautiful. Nina was lost in the music, her love for ballet channeling through her newest friend. It was making her chest heavy watching Lily dance.

From outside Lily was feeling it, trusting her partner as she was lifted up like a bird, her hands striking a perfect line, legs parallel against the floor, spinning around high in the air weightless. She lands with a spin and a push to second position, toes straight up and pushing off into a leap to the side. Being perfect wasn't Lily's common thread but she was doing a hell of a job, Nina almost swearing she got a wink from Lily as she passed by the side stage.

"Lily's doing great isn't she?"

"Yes…" Nina mumbled, humming the Swan lake theme, watching the ballet outside.

"She's so beautiful out there as the White Swan… dancing it so innocently as if she were the type. She isn't as good as you are though."

Nina suddenly froze as her attention on Lily was jolted. She noticed it wasn't a voice that should be there. A feeling that should not be here right now. Nina turned in a horrified gasp as she saw no one beside her. All that was there was the mirror for ballerinas to do a final check, an image of herself staring right back at her, smiling.

_I hope nothing bad happens to her…. like it happened to you._

_Don't you agree… Nina?_

_

* * *

_

**A/N: **Things will start feeling a bit more like the movie for now. :) The next chapter is tentatively named Bleed_... that's all you need to know.  
_


	5. Act IV: Dreams

**A/N: **Thank you for support... changed my mind about title. I am too nice to be too mean...

* * *

**Act IV: Dreams**

For Nina, time seemed to stop around her as the music that was once circling the room came to a numbing halt. Colors were being drained from her eyes, fading out in white wash, her senses attacking her every resistant denial. She frigidly clutched at her head, covering her face as she strained to reject the voice and facade that haunted her weeks ago. She thought she was beyond this and had conquered this.

_Nina…_

_Lily still has what you want!_

"No… she doesn't!" Nina gritted her teeth in a stumble. She was trying desperately if not feverishly to get away from the stage that showcased her. To get away from the Lily who haunted her. To get away from the music that swayed her. And away from the crowd that praised her pain.

Nina felt herself lose balance as her foot got caught against a prop box, the ballerina hitting the floor in a painful grunt. "Ugh!"

_Like a little girl running away…_

Swan eyes were staring right at her in disappointment.

_Still haven't learned a thing…_

"Please stop… I don't want this anymore…" Nina didn't know if she even said the words or thought it, pushing herself to her feet in a struggle as darkness weighed her down. She knew inside her mind it wasn't possible but even then she did so with silence - looking at 'herself' in the distorted mirror. The dark doppelganger always had a ghastly splendor to her, black all around her coiled body, wings spread like the beautiful disaster she was. Her glare was unrelenting. Her eyes were soulless. Her words burned like a firey tool carving into Nina's conscience.

_Lily can't handle it…_

_Only I can…_

The Black Swan leered at her with the most evil intentions, a bloody glass knife pressed into her wing, playfully slitting her own neck with it, the crimson liquid leaking down her neck to that bony chest.

"Lily can do it!" Nina had tears in her eyes as she bolted to the room in horror. "You're nothing but an illusion!"

Her heart was racing like it did before. It all felt like Opening Night. Nina could even smell it now. The bleeding wounds that haunted her were coming back with a vengeance. Even in her desperation she noticed the details. Passing Lily's dressing room too horrified to even peak, she knew somehow and someway there would be that guilty pool of blood leaking out from underneath. This was just her mind playing tricks. This was all fake! She kept repeating the mantra like a religious priest.

Suddenly from behind she heard a bird-like screech, a behemoth of black feathers clutching onto her arms in a crushing grab, a sharp beak coiled out ready to cut into her flesh. Nina let out her own scream as she stared into the abyss that was bird eyes, this monster ready to devour her.

"Go away!" Nina shoved the bird, falling back, scrounging to her toes as she ran into her office, slamming the door shut as she crumpled to the floor in tears.

The real world of course was a bit confused.

"Aw come on Nina! I just needed you to ruffle my feathers to get the dust off!" The costumed male dancer whined as the image of a flustered giant black bird without his mask on made a few ballerinas laugh.

Inside the room Nina's breaths were as frantic as her mind, her chest heaving as she reached for her purse. She desperately grabbed at her pills, seizing her medication and downing it with no hesitance or thought of repercussions. Her legs felt wobbly as she fell back against the door, slamming into it and falling to the ground, crumpled up with knees against her chest.

"… It's all fake… it's not real…" Nina whispered to herself, the only warmth she could feel were her own arms hugging around herself. The coldness around her otherwise was a familiar feeling.

_Nothing's really changed…_

_Nothing at all…_

- B – B – B –

The crowd's roar was a symbol of success. Lily's transformation was complete as she gave herself one last critical check, eyeing the dark costume she had changed into for the first time in completion. Like a costume designer herself she made sure all was in place. The red contacts did look menacing as they should. The black make up would tell the tale of this Swan's unforgiving nature. The ornate headdress all made her felt so spruced up, like a royal Queen, someone that commanded respect from everyone and anyone. Most importantly underneath all that Lily was a Black Swan through and through. She was a natural at this.

Her performance in the first act was getting her adrenaline pumping high, Lily feelings he could conquer this crowd and this stage as Thomas imagined it. She thought about how Nina looked when she first got into the Black Swan outfit. She became so sexual. So confident.

For Lily it was not so much a transformation as it was a confirmation. She already embodied everything the Black Swan was.

_... What's Nina doing?_

From across the hallway, behind all the franticness that was shuffling ballerinas and ballerinos, Lily opened to the door to see Nina in tears, crushed in Thomas arms trying to be consoled. The Swan Queen tried to push through the crowded hallway, maneuvering around her peers to get through, ultimately watching Nina walk away and out the door to the exit before she could say a word. Thomas seemed a bit concerned as he stared to the ground; probably cursing French words Lily couldn't imagine comprehending. Lily almost didn't want to even ask the next question.

"Hey, Thomas what's up with Nina?"

Thomas shook himself out his own thoughtful daze, staring at his Swan Queen's concerned face. "She had a little episode but she's fine. Don't worry about that. You are on in two minutes." The choreographer was once again emotionless stone.

"A little episode?" Lily knew this was being downplayed the minute he opened that Frenchy mouth. "But she was just fine a min-"

"Lily, no more questions! Your focus is on the show and your performance only!" Thomas grasped her arm before she could even protest, guiding her away to stage left as Lily stared out to the doorway Nina had exited. Like always, Nina Sayers left without a word and without really a trace. Lily really wanted Nina to be here. This was still her role… she needed to see it live and in action.

… What was wrong Nina? Lily thought she was getting better.

"Lily are you listening?" Thomas shook her gently as the Swan Queen turned back from the shock of the contact, nodding to him almost blankly. "You were wonderful in the first act, do not let up! The crowd is at your whim."

"Yes Thomas…" Lily shook herself trying to get back in the moment, something she was usually a pro at.

"Seduce the crowd!" Thomas said his parting words before walking off to gather up the other dancers.

Performing for this vixen was like turning a switch on and off. She could do it on a whim unlike most others. Cocking her body ready for the dance, Lily stood waiting for her cue but at this moment couldn't help letting her thoughts 'dance' around as well. It was a strange feeling for her. A sense of concern and doubts was something she left far back in San Francisco and even then, she left that part of her dead years ago. She was a carefree spirit in the most truthful nature of the world, willing to leave the moment whenever she pleased if it bothered her. That was what made her such a wonderful performer. That was what made Lily... Lily.

It was different right now though. There was no moment of free thought, just like when Veronica tore into her days ago. All she could think about were those days in the Hospital with an unconscious Nina… speaking to her, giving out hope that she would recover.

_Are you going to be alright Nina?_

Her focus waned and Lily was about to learn this fact the hard way.

The part of the Swan Queen was unforgiving.

- B - B - B -

_These walls of time release  
My eyes, move like the drift  
The cries! They resonate within  
The fabric tears, before me  
Break ties between the skin_

It was only a few minutes ago when Lily landed on the mattress laid out for her safety, finished with what was her first performance as the Swan Queen. When she got up there was no blood to be had this time, that tragic night a historic past now an official memory. Then again, the crowd that was waiting for Nina to tell her her how awesome she did wasn't there either. Lily knew she didn't deserve it. After the lonely walk to her room and shower, she was packing her things knowing the second and third acts of the show weren't as tight as it needed to be.

For the first time in New York she was distracted. She wasn't ready. Lily couldn't believe it but the fact was that Nina was all she had on her mind. Images of Nina dancing. Images of Nina crying… it was inexplicable. Had anyone ever gotten under her skin like this?

_Not in awhile…_

"Lily, my office."

Lily was about to exit the building to recover from the night, those ear pieces about to cover her ears so she could lose herself in sonic bliss. Those words by a stern and agitated Thomas stopped her on her tracks though, slowly bringing Lily to a 180 degree turn. She trudged along, having a feeling she wasn't going to get the warmest of receptions in the office of the boss.

"Thomas?" Lily peered in to see him seated at his desk, a rude surprise awaiting for her.

"Hey there Lily." Veronica smiled, giving her a wink of illest will.

"W-what's going on here?"

"Just step inside my dear."

Lily crept in carefully as she noticed the Apple LCD Monitor was replaying footage from opening night, these two apparently watching Nina's masterful performance. The present Swan Queen looked over to Thomas who didn't return eye contact.

"She was brilliant that night." Thomas moved his hand along with Nina's motions. "Instinct and no mind to react… Nina became the Swan Queen."

"Yes she was amazing Thomas." Veronica agreed quite over enthusiastically, Lily peaking over at her, seeing the fakeness in her expressions pour out like an oozing slime. What Lily would give to be able to slap this girl upside the head!

"Have you ever watched this performance again Lily?" Thomas still didn't take his eyes off his monitor, eyes as concentrated as it always was.

"No… I haven't had the chance." Lily turned back, now watching the screen.

"But you are the Swan Queen, the current lead." Thomas finally peaked over. "Why aren't you watching what your previous lead did again and again? Did you know Nina studied every tape on Beth countless times in the last season?"

Lily didn't have an answer as she just watched the ballerina, her newest friend, put on a performance of a lifetime from stage view. Nina embodied what it meant to be a technical ballerina. To be a virtuoso dancer. It was like watching a doctor doing surgery, or a craftsman creating a brilliant piece of art out of a blank slate, or a musician creating a concerto. Greatness wasn't something that came by too often and on that night Nina achieved it.

"Lily the problem I have with you is that I don't feel like you're treating this seriously."

"That's bullshit." Lily shook her head at his direction. "I am not half assing this Thomas."

"No." Thomas replied before you she could even add on. "What's bullshit was the performance after the first act. What the hell happened out there tonight?"

Lily just stood there like a statue on an island, thinking about the stupid rookie mistakes she did, not finishing strongly in transitions as well as a stiff rhythm. When the mind was cluttered Lily's strengths on the dancing stage had become weaknesses. She had no snarky reply or wise comeback. Her performance was all the answers she had and Veronica was probably ecstatic about this.

"I know that you probably understand what issues I had with your performance." Thomas leaned back in his chair. "The sad thing is that for the most part there was nothing terribly wrong with what you did. But that was it… it was pretty good, nothing special."

"It… was Nina." Lily blurted out, not meaning to, just trying to find something to stop this barrage on her night.

"Oh, so it was Nina leaving that got you off your performance?" Thomas spat sighing in the most highest levels of disappointment. "You let something like that distract you from your night Lily?"

"I was just… concerned. I'm not trying to make an excuse."

"Things happen, life happens but you cannot use that to explain a performance on stage." Thomas stood up and began to pace slowly. "Do you think the crowd gives a shit if you're having a bad day?"

"No…" The French accented verbal assault was just irking Lily to no end, her body language slagging like a girl just having enough with the situation.

"You worry about Nina, that's understandable. We all do." Thomas crossed his arms as he sat on his table desk. "But if you really are concerned about her you should have gone out there and did what you are capable of doing."

_Capable of doing..._

"I look at your records Lily… secondary lead… alternates… backup roles…" Thomas was imagining reading her resume again. "Your last lead role was years ago! I just don't understand it! You have the abilities and the beauty and the talent to be one of the best in the business! And the only reason I hired you was because I got to see you in person. But now I am beginning to see why you only get secondary roles… you're not willing to sacrifice yourself for greatness!"

"…"

"Do you want to be great?" Thomas asked with passion, challenging Lily. "Do you want this lead? Do you want this role? Do you want any of this at all?"

_Why wouldn't I...?_

"It seems to me like you don't." Thomas accused with no pity. "It seems to me like you're in this business just to prance around and have a good time. That's why you show up late right? That's why you laugh it up so much during practice right?" He walked up to her staring her down like a piece of meat. "That is fine when you are just a backup role. But not when you are the main attraction in _my _production. Understood?"

"I… get it…" Lily gritted teeth, staring up at Thomas like a wounded angry puppy.

"Do you?" Thomas mused mockingly. "Then get this. I notice you have been getting friendly with Nina, so if you truly care for Nina then just know that her last performance playing the Swan Queen her may be her last in the business."

"W-what do you mean?" Lily blinked.

"Tonight she told me she stepped down from her assistant position. That's why she left." Thomas seemed visibly upset at the notion. "Honestly I was hoping she would recover but her mental state is so fragile I don't know if she would ever return."

"You mean… she might not come back at all?"

Thomas shook his head as Lily looked at him with disbelief. "There's no turning back now Lily. Nina's performance is her legacy and was her swan song. This season might very well be the lasting impression she has in this ballet world. If you really care about her, I'd imagine you'd do everything in your power to continue her legacy throughout this production."

Lily felt her heart sink for Nina, wondering what it was like to step down and away from the company on a night like this.

"Because if you don't manage to do so? I'll ask someone else to." Thomas eyes met with Veronica as she nodded at him to appease.

Lily's glare darted over to Veronica as the ballerina was as snug as ever. She couldn't even fathom this bitch taking over Nina's spot and trying to make that performance live on for the rest of the production. It was making her sick. It was making her upset. Veronica didn't care about Nina and at this moment Lily was flat out pissed off there was even a chance this could happen.

_Nina doesn't deserve that._

"I wouldn't be so upset if I felt you were giving me a 100 percent Lily." Thomas began packing his things. "I see flashes of brilliance that wow me all the time with you." He sighed. "It's going to waste if you continue like this."

"Look, there's no way in Hell Veronica will replace Nina. I can do this!" Lily scowled, staring intensely into Thomas eyes. For the first time Thomas felt pure fury and determination, making him smile.

"Then show me." Thomas gave her the wish and then the warning. "This upcoming show? Prove to me how far you're willing to take this. If you're finally ready to capture your true potential for the first time in your life."

"Whatever… I'll see you tomorrow." Lily answered simply like a girl on a mission, turning away from Thomas with very little sweetness. As she was walking past Veronica, in a furious power strut as they slightly bumped shoulders, neither of them giving an inch. There was a pause before Lily just stormed out.

"Like I said Lily… good luck." Veronica smirked to herself with an evil intent, knowing that she was one step closer to living her fantasy role.

_Reaching for a way out of this dream  
I waste my breath ascending!  
Fears lead me astray!  
The past brings them to be!  
What's left to carry me?_

_But a memory…  
The dream endures these lies  
Forever at the edge, left surviving alone._

- B – B – B -

The dim lighting and emptiness was strangely inviting. Maybe because for Nina it was all she knew. It was nothing new being alone in her apartment. Her mother wasn't looking over her shoulder and she was independent but what difference did that make? She still couldn't understand herself. She still was sitting her without anyone, alone with her own frightful thoughts.

Sitting down on the floor cross-legged, Nina ran her fingers into the laces of her ballet shoes, feeling the scuff marks and shabbied out edges on the toes where she abused them to no end. She thought about how many years and how much time she put into these shoes, just like the many she had worn down to become worthless in her career.

Her dead career.

No one was stopping her but her own self.

She was taking away her one last love... with no one to point the finger at anymore.

"Why!" Nina suddenly tossed the shoes against the far wall as she let out a burst of anger, holding herself as tears ran down her eyes. "Where are you now? Huh?" The ballerina looked around the dark apartment, staring at the few mirrors in the room almost chiding her 'other' self to appear. Her frustration had reached a breaking point where she didn't give a crap if it showed itself again.

"Is this what you wanted?" Nina clenched her fist, feeling just a ball of anger well up inside her chest. "You want me to be miserable! That's all you fucking want!"

Nina suddenly turned and slammed her fists behind the closet door shutting and rattling it as it was pounded repeatedly like a beaten drum. It was feeling amazing, letting all this aggression that was pent up for months spill out on it in a furious flurry.

_My obsessed mother!_

WHAM!

_Thomas' expectations!_

WHAM!

_Lily's talents!_

WHAM!

_My backstabbing peers!_

WHAM!

_My loathing self!_

**WHAM!**

Her breathing pulsated with her thumping heart beat which offset the furious ruckus that was a door turned punching bag. After countless slams she was exhausted and torn up inside, as well as damaging those scrawny fists of hers. Nina was sure she stopped only because she had to, like always sacrificing her own body to exploit what was inside her soul. Leaning back against the closet door in a weak stance, sliding down pathetically in almost a fetal position, she began her crying heart out.

She tried to contain it but the tears wouldn't stop. She wheezed and had trouble catching her breath as she lay defeated, not wanting to even move. Her challenge to her darker self was met with only silence.

_Why… why am I so weak?_

_What do you want from me?_

The door suddenly got a strong knock, that nearly frightened her out of her mind. Nina sat up slowly, reaching for her tissues as she began patting her cheeks down. "W-who is it?" she said with a shivery voice.

"It's me Nina." Lily's distinct voice cut through the muffling door. Nina stood up weakly, inside perking up a little at the idea of Lily visiting her. That of course slowly dissipated as she remembered why she walked away from the ballet production in the first place.

"Lily I…"

"Don't say you need to be alone because I took the metro here and I am not leaving until I get to see you, so forget it."

Nina quickly wiped her eyes with tissues on the counter, sighing as she made her way to the doorway. She tried to look as fresh as possible knowing that she was probably a mess. With a flip of the lock she opened the door with a slight creak.

"Salutations." Lily waved her hands, having two conspicuous brown bags in her clutches.

"Hello Lily…" Nina tried her hardest to smile, attempting to bring her emotions at least to the same ballpark as her counterpart. Which of course was pretty much always laid back and happy as far as Nina knew.

"So, you gonna invite me in or shall we party in the hallway?"

"Oh yes… come on in." Nina opened the doorway, the natural Black Swan herself walking in, seeing an elegant if not empty room. There wasn't a sign of personality in this place what so ever and Nina had been here for at least a week.

"Finally get to see Nina's home! Nice place you got here…" Lily pondered the design, comparing it to the claustrophobia that was Nina's old place. "Um, better than before that's for sure."

"Y-yes… I thought so too."

Lily placed the bags down on the counter, eyes still wandering around the newly furnished apartment. As her cute mink like eyes settled she finally got to see Nina in well-lit lighting. "Hey you've been crying haven't you?"

Nina just nodded without saying a word, hiding her eyes as she wiped her cheeks off.

"I knew something was wrong. I heard you left as advisor and I just had to come here to talk to you." Lily glanced over concerned. "You weren't answering my phone calls or texts."

"Sorry… I just wanted to be…"

"Alone? Aw come now, really?" Lily finished for her in total disagreement, pulling out two rather large wine bottles. The sight didn't phase Nina at all. She wasn't in the mood.

"Lily…"

"No, don't worry about it princess. This ain't for you." Lily smirked to reassure, rubbing the bottles like they were buried treasure. "Me and cheap 7-11 alcohol are gonna be bed buddies tonight. You mind if I crash here?"

"Uh… I…"

"Thanks I'll take that as a yes." Lily didn't even let her finish yet again, scrumming through her purse for her cork opener.

The audacity of Lily's self invitation aside, Nina paused as she tried analyze Lily's body language. Wanting to finish two wine bottles herself and actually looking a bit down (in a relative sense) seemed to point to one thing. The performance tonight wasn't exactly ideal. As a dancer herself Nina knew it. She was actually reading the mysterious Lily for once...

"I… am guessing tonight didn't go as planned?"

"M-more or less…" Lily quickly tried to not think about it, looking at the pantry for a subject change. "Got any cups?"

"S-sure…" Nina walked over to the cupboard and pulled out one, Lily taking it with a friendly thanks and began to pop the cork.

"What happened Lily?" Nina expressed deep concern. "I saw you doing so well when I got to watch…"

"Y-yeah.. well… it kinda went south after that." Lily laughed in a half-manner, smiling soon after though like it was completely forced. "At least you got to see the good part huh?"

"… I'm sorry I wasn't there…"

"No don't you worry about that." Lily shook her head, diverting the sympathy. "I'm sorry you're not staying on with the production Nina. I'm the one that feels so bad."

"Don't you worry either…" Nina sat down at the counter finally, relaxing as Lily's aura was working its charm yet again. "I just think I need to stay away and be far away... for a little bit."

There was that silence again that there relationship stared on. Lily and Nina both knew how hard it was for her to say that. Ballet was her great love. Her purpose in life so far had been to perfect and to dance on the stage as she was born to do. To stay away from that? To cut herself from this world? It was gut wrenching…

"What happened? I thought everything was going great." Lily filled up her glass quite full, Nina never seeing a cup of wine that full being at so many of those ballet production parties.

"I thought so too…" Nina couldn't understand it either, thinking those hallucinations were behind her. "I guess feeling the crowd… seeing you dance… I felt I was on stage almost… and-"

"It all came flooding back for you didn't it?"

"Yes… perhaps something like that…" Nina's eyes were so full of emptiness that it was hard for anyone to not feel it. Lily was much more empathetic than she let on. There was some sweetness in the girl down there... somewhere in that party animal's body.

"Well you know what? Maybe this break is good for you." Lily tried to spin it as she took a gulp of the cheap wine, shivering as it burned down her throat. "Some artists need some time to reload on that battery you know?"

"Yes… that might be it."

"And whenever you'll come back… You'll better than ever!"

The perkiness made Nina smile. In fact she was beginning to realize a fact. Ever since she awoke in the Hospital, Lily always made her smile. That image of her evil manipulating Lily terrorizing her was so far gone that it had to make Nina laugh a bit. She just had to figure out why Lily was this way…

"Lily, why are you so kind to me? I never did anything to warrant this."

"... Well, you seemed genuinely nice and kind." Lily answered plainly with another sip. "I didn't get that vibe from anyone else around here." She paused as she wanted to be careful with the words. "And you know… maybe I saw some of myself… in you."

"You… saw yourself… in me?"

Lily began to giggle with a congratulatory wink, Nina realizing how wrong that sounded quite quickly. The girl just huffed and rolled her eyes as Lily yet again twisted her into a jester figure more so than any Swan Queen.

"Yes… Nina I _did_." Lily placed her wine glass down. "I wasn't always like this you know… the way I am now."

'The way you act you seems so… not me. I can't imagine you any other way."

"Well then? Get to know me first and maybe you'll find out how similar we are and you can be the judge. Fair?" Lily slid the wine glass to Nina as of course this was the customary thing to do for the little vixen. Drinking by herself apparently wasn't something she ever planned.

"Take a sip. Doctors say it's good for you to have a glass a night."

Nina didn't really want to but felt incited to join in, reaching out and took the wine glass, taking a sip or more so a lick. "Only a little…"

"Just to take the edge off, gotcha." Lily grinned on approvingly, glancing around. "So… I got the couch tonight or are do you got a bunk bed?"

- B – B – B -

_What's left as I wander?  
I've found a world where I am free  
Inside that which is truth…_

_And what if this illusion?  
I've come to know?  
Is not the same…_

Hours later, and about three quarters of the second wine bottle out dry, one could imagine the scene playing out in Nina's room. Laughter, giggling, and some of the most out there behavior Nina Sayers had ever done. And of course all of it was being recorded as director extraordinaire Lily was having a great time. When she wasn't at a club? Lily brought the club to her.

"Come on Nina do it again!" Lily was lying on the couch spread out, laughing her cute little self-off as she was having her own giggle fest, her iPhone documenting classic-ness.

"A-are you sure it was funny?" Nina slurred a little bit shakily standing like the drunk she was at the moment.

"Yes it's hilarious, just do it!" Lily urged in a cute fit.

"Alright…" Nina blinked a few times in perparation, standing straight up in a proper posture like a certain elegant man they knew. "Ello Nina my little princess! You must become ze' Swan Queen! You must live it and not lie to yourself! Your White Swan is very good. Yes! But your Black Swan? Bah… no! It is no good! Pee'ew! Shame on you!"

Nina's horrible French accent and man voice was forcing Lily's sides to literally hurt, cracking the giggling babe up like a Tickle Me Elmo doll. If someone sober were there it probably would have sounded like that stinky skunk from the Looney Tunes rather than an accurate portrayal of the world renown choreographer.

"But Thomas!" Lily fluttered her wings trying to be cute and now playing the innocent role. "I am the White Swan and Black Swan!"

"You must be kidding me madam! You are dancing more like a Flamingo would!" Nina began dangling her legs. "Or like an Ostrich perhaps!"

"H-how dare you! I'm no White Flamingo!" Lily laughed out loud as she snakingly stood, wobbly feet and all, trying to do a plié but staggering like an old plastered woman would. Nina began giggling out of character only to cross her arms and point with a stomp of her foot as Lily was on her rear, sitting back.

"Come on Lily! Attack it! Seduce it! Attack it! Seduce it! Massage it!"

Lily busted out in drunken cackling yet again again as she was on the floor crumpled up, holding her stomach, teeth clenched trying to hold back her laughing. "No more… please… my cheeks are hurting!"

Nina a little exhausted herself in the bad imitation, crumpling up next to Lily, both of them down on the tile floor. The girls now were laying flat and staring at the ceiling. Their heads were hazed yet close together. To say these two ballet babes were smashed was the understatement of the year. The 7-11 wine had some kick to it for sure.

"I… wanna watch a movie…" Lily garbled randomly.

"Don't be silly… it's so late." Nina replied woozily. "It's like... 13:00 o clock a.m."

"B-but that movie No Strings Attached is out." Lily whined.

"Ungh wha?" Nina held her pulsing head, closing her eyes. "... What's that about?"

"It's about two friends hooking up but the girl doesn't want a relationship." Lily was hoping she got the synopsis down but shrugged. "I think Ashton Kutcher is in it or something…"

"Oh I think saw the poster walking home once." Nina put a finger to her lip. "Who is Ashton Kutcher again?"

"You don't know Ashton? The Punk'd guy?"

Nina just stared blankly shrugging, giggling at Lily's puzzled face.

"You know, that guy on that 70's show? Tall? Looks kinda funny?"

"Oh! I remember seeing a little bit of that once when I was little!" Nina clapped. "Oh yes! I remember! H-he he was the one that dated that adorable dark haired girl."

"Yes that girl who plays Jackie. B-but cute? Hah! Oh my god her voice is so damn annoying…" Lily scowled. "I just wanted to tear her throat out!"

"Um, w-who is the female in that movie… Strings No Attached?" Nina groaned as she laid her head down to relax again.

"Bah I forget her damn name, I think she was in those Star Wars movies as the queen… and she did the Professional when she was really young." Lily sighed as she couldn't pull the name. "She is really pretty though. So hot."

"Hmmm, I don't recall any of those movies…" Nina blinked dumbly.

"Hehe, you are such a nerd Nina." Lily blurted out, clinging onto her, nuzzling her like a best friend would. Nina just felt the warmth against her face, smiling to herself as this strange alien feeling of being intoxicated and having some hold her was making her feel at bliss. She was afraid to think twice about it, worried it would fade away.

"Do you like me?" Lily asked innocently if not suddenly.

"O-of course…" Nina said under her breath, still closing her eyes to keep the room from spinning in circles. "We're friends... right?"

"I mean do you _like_ me… like me…" Lily was talking like a 12 year old would, yet having the suggestiveness of a spring break party girl.

"Y-you're being silly… Lily…" The two inebriated girls chortled at the rhyme, Nina stopping those giggles though as suddenly as she felt kissing sensations against her neck. The pecks were heavenly to the point it made her lay completely still. It felt like warm tickling pulses that shot throughout her body, making her feel the warmness and butterflies in her stomach.

"Do you want to find out if the real deal… matches the dream?" Lily whispered into her ear like the naughty succubus she was.

For a second Nina almost completely snapped out of her drunken daze, opening her eyes, seeing Lily right on top of her, hands exploring Nina's body like a curious little creature. The lighter haired ballerina only saw a pretty face close in on her before she could react, lips soon touching.

It was unbelievable.

They were kissing…

_Holding you, a distant memory with me always,  
Tragically I've found I am not alone,  
In a world of infinity sewn_

_Perceive beyond the seam  
Beyond the seam…  
A soul evolves as one_

- B – B – B -

"Oh Lily…"

_Wake up Nina…_

A gasp later and Nina suddenly awoke in a cold sweat staring at her alarm clock, finding herself in the bed alone in the darkness. The images in her mind were fresh but the lines between what was fake and real was as blurry as ever. Her sheets were tossed around and coiled up, but there was no feeling behind her or beside her. Nina twisted on her side quickly, hoping to see someone there but found nothing but a pillow. Her mind couldn't comprehend it. Lily was gone. Was this fucking happening to her again?

She suddenly heard the sink go off, making her blink as the water stopped running soon after. Like a really neighborly ghost, the woman in question opened the door, as naked as the day she was born walking out and rubbing her eyes.

"S-sorry did I wake you up?" Lily yawned.

"N-no…" Nina, now sober was staring at Lily, not knowing what to say. She was staring at something she'd never imagined she'd see awake.

"Okay then, um, well…" Lily walked beside the bed, sliding back into it gracefully, giving Nina a peck on her cheek. "Then let's go back to sleep… please."

Nina blushed as she soon was even redder than lipstick, noticing she was completely naked as well, covering up in her sheets as she stared at Lily. "W-why are you still here?"

_Wasn't she supposed to disappear?_

"Um…" Lily curled her neck curiously. "We did the naughty totally smashed… and I was too tired to move to the couch… so you said I could sleep here remember?"

"Y-yes… yes I remember now."

"Good… now sleep." Lily snuggled up close, closing her eyes again. "I got to get to ballet practice early tomorrow…"

_Lily… at practice early?_

… _Lily sleeping with me?_

Nina just shook her head in a confused groan, plopping back down on her bed, closing her eyes. This was a bit too much to take in at once. The repercussions from the booze wasn't helping either.

* * *

**A/N: **There is a LEMON (sex) section in this chapter... I am sure you know where it is that I can't post on fanfiction dot net . But if you e-mail me or just hit me up in review or PM, I'll gladly send it when I can.

Writing Nina post ballet... is going to be fun. Writing Lily going through her own struggle is going to be fun too! Writing sex scenes between the two? Priceless!


	6. Act V: Closer

**A/N: **For those who were interested in the Lemon Scene and didn't get it I couldn't pm you because it was blocked. Or you didn't have an e-mail to reach you! My apologize! Alot more people wanted to read that thing than I expected. I am in the middle of re-editing that lemon scene as a stand alone piece... and posting it in the mature section on ff dot net. For those who can't wait, just e-mail me on my ff net home page. It seems like the best way.

By the way... anyone see Mila Kunis at SAG awards... just when you think she can't get any hotter... Schawing...

Thanks for the huge support everyone. Keep the fandom growing!

* * *

**Act V: Closer**

The sounds of plastic clothes hangers clinging together woke her. It was definitely different than the usual alarm clock Nina was used to. This morning routine was shook up… kind of like her life was last night in a tumbling and provocative display.

It all started with a kiss and ended in a blur.

Because of that Nina didn't get up right away. Saying she was a bit nervous just didn't do it justice. Her eyes were wide open, her body still coiled up in the warmth of her soft blankets. Nina kept hearing the noises. She knew her ears couldn't have been lying but she still had doubts. The questions of what was real and what was a hallucination still frightened her. The fragrant smell of sex had to mean something. Lily's voice humming had to be a validation. A peak over to her closet and a wet haired and towel wrapped Lily in daylight was the final confirmation she needed.

Yesterday _really _happened…

"Yay, you're finally awake." Lily ran a towel through her hair as that voice was as calm as ever, shaking off the excess moisture. "I hope you don't mind that I used your shower."

"N-no, not at all." Nina stammered under her breath, not even looking or acting like someone who scored with the "it" girl at her previous job. Of course Nina didn't have a drunken façade to hide her awkwardness anymore, her naked body feeling like some sort of tainted shame that she wasn't ready to share with anyone yet.

"How was last night for you?" Lily on the other hand was expectedly as comfortable and relaxed as can be. "Damn that wine tastes like crap but gets the job done doesn't it?"

This certainly was different then the last time she awoke in bed to find no one there…

Nina tried to remember the previous night, only blushing madly at the flashing thoughts of being intimate with Lily. Once again it was almost like she wasn't herself. Feeding into something deep within that honestly felt detached from her very soul.

She could only conjure a silent nod towards Lily, sitting up in the bed, still coiled up tightly in her bed sheets like she was in a cocoon. Lily waltzed over, going under the bed to dig for something, kneeling over and picking up a pair of panties. A nice little purple and black number which was spilt right down the middle in a shredding tear. Nina partly recalled how that happened and this was surely a cheek burner.

"This is what _you_ did last night…" Lily laughed in amazement at recollection, tossing it around in her hand like a Frisbee. "Pretty intense if you ask me…"

"Oh my God…" Nina was extremely apologetic even with just her facial expressions. "I'm sorry Lily! I… didn't know what got into me last night."

"Cheap wine got into you." Lily made a playful face, really sensing how tense her friend was at the moment soon after. "Hey, relax Nina… we just had sex. It doesn't need to be weird."

_Easy for you to say…_

"I… I'm sorry…" Nina could only reply with apologetic words for some reason. "It's just... I've never done this kind of thing… before."

_Why did I just say that?_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Lily's eyes seemed to double in size. "Are you telling me… uh… Did I just pop your cherry last night?"

Nina could only nod in embarrassment.

"Wow okay… that's um… totally cool." Lily knew she wanted to be as respectful as she could be. How could someone as beautifully enticing as Nina be a virgin until last night? Her sheltered nature apparently knew no bounds. "Hey Nina, honestly if you didn't tell me just now? I thought you've been doing this for quite a while."

"… R-really?" Nina didn't know whether to feel complimented or to just melt underneath her blankets from discomfort overload.

"Yep, it seems to me that beneath all that properness… there's a little freak waiting to get out." Lily sat down next to her giggling, her suggestive stare cutting right through Nina's embarrassment. "It's always the quiet ones huh?"

Nina could only amusingly let down her guard. Lily really was one of the few if not the only she could trust. How far this relationship has come was just about as amazing as Nina still being alive.

"H-hey!"

All sentimental thought stopped as Lily tossed her panties onto Nina's face.

"You should keep these. So you can think of me when you… know…"

"Lily! Come on…" Nina just glared back at her in disbelief, peeling away the underwear from her confused façade as Lily just amused away.

"Like I said just relax… It's all good." Lily covered her giggly mouth. "Hehe…. Laugh a little."

Apparently Nina wasn't so ready for the pantie humor, Lily calming herself quite quickly.

On a more sensual note, Lily's hands began to stroke Nina's hair, fingers caressing her like a fine comb. Nina couldn't even react at what happened next as Lily gently pressed her lips against hers, a little innocent peck the apparent exclamation point on what happened last night. Nina may have been quiet with a glazed gaze but inside her emotions were on a roller coaster that was careening off its tracks. She'd lost her virginity. She'd made love with her rival. She'd had sex… with her friend.

Unlike her, Lily was so calm. Were things any different now?

"Hey speaking of panties, I need to talk to you about your wardrobe." Lily adjusted her towel, making sure they rode on that budding chest. "We need to get you some clothes."

"W-what?" Nina blinked. "But… I have plenty of clothes…"

"Yes you do… but hmm… how can I put this lightly…" Lily had to think, subtlety wasn't one of her strong points. "Ah, okay. I think a Nun has a better chance of giving a guy a hard-on than the stuff you wear dear."

Nina gasped. "I-it… it can't be that bad."

"Nina, you're a sexy woman and we need to get you to dress the part." Lily got up walking to the bathroom, grabbing the hairdryer. "Are you free later on tonight?"

Nina actually paused a bit in mocking thought. Without ballet Nina was sure she could've have made some time… who was she kidding?

"Yes… I'm free."

"Alright then. After practice today we'll meet back here. This is going to be too much fun!" Lily had a sparkle to her smile, one of a childish excitement. "Okay, I gotta head to the studio now and a get a head start. Don't you have that therapy session to go to?"

"… A head start?" Nina just stared at her as if she was a psycho. "Okay, where's the real Lily I know and what have you done with her?"

"Aw, you got me! I'm an alien and I sucked her brains out and took her body. Now go get ready." Lily patted her head and leapt up off the bed, having a hop to her step again. Nina just smiled as she disappeared into the closet to change.

Nina took a glance to the closet door, waiting for it to close before let out a deep breath, the moment really hitting her like a sack of bricks. She crumpled back into bed spreading herself in complete relaxation, staring dreamily at the ceiling. She couldn't deny it anymore. For the first time in so long… she felt…

Happy.

- B – B – B -

To the naked eye it seemed just like a normal practice. Thomas was in his usual spot, that eagle eye examining position next to the pianist, making sure the music flowed alongside the choreography he laid out like a sonic blueprint. The ballet dancers did not seem out of sync at all, everyone doing their part quite well from muscle memory. Sure, fatigue was setting in as it would after a long grueling practice but all in all this was a grand effort. For Thomas he was locked in one source of the smooth practice. The one ballerina that needed to step up was certainly elevating the rest.

"Thomas, I've brought the Black Swan outfit variation Lily wanted."

Thomas peaked over to his old costume designer of many years Georgina, one of the few he trusted to not be so hands on with that area of his production. Georgina's expertise let the busy man have one less thing to worry about. He glances at the variation Lily wished to have on the Black Swan outfit with a quick gaze and nods. She had wanted something different than what Nina had to distinguish herself. As long as Lily would dance the part correctly he didn't mind at all.

"I made it more 'slutty' as Lily wished…" Georgina laughed, holding it up for Thomas to see. "That girl is ball of laughter let me tell you…"

"It looks fine to me. Thank you Georgina." Thomas quickly peered back to his dancers, watching Lily attack the practice like it was show time.

"Good heavens, what's gotten into our Swan Queen today?" Georgina also took notice of the notched up intensity, leaning on the piano, admiring God's athletes at work.

"I am not sure…" Thomas tapped a finger on his chin to the beat, watching as Lily never missed a step. "I found her this morning… the first ballet dancer here. And she's been going at it like this since the beginning of practice."

"Did you give her the usual Thomas Leroy pep talk?"

"… I don't know what I said…" Thomas grinned. "But whatever I said? I should do so more often."

The differences were dramatic. She wasn't coasting like usual. It was like Lily was channeling a certain perfect someone through her dance. Almost like she was dancing for more than herself. Like she was dancing for two.

"Yes! That's more I like it." Lily gave a little fist bump as the last note sounded in final pose, letting out a deep breath as she couldn't remember the last time she pushed her body this far just in one practice session.

"Bravo Lily!" Thomas clapped as he walked towards his dancers. "And that is how it should be done every time."

"Wow is that my new costume?" Lily peered over, almost disregarding praise from Thomas. "Oh my God it looks great even from here! Thanks Georgina!" She blew her kisses.

"You're welcome dear. Keep up the good work. You're amazing."

Lily gave her a wink as she began to walk around in circles in a rounding patrol, almost thinking to herself, seemingly analyzing her steps, shaking off her tense muscles. Thomas smirked at the changes in his Swan Queen. The role of a lifetime deserved this. Lily was beginning to let it all seep into her soul. This role was becoming hers slowly but surely.

"I think we can end practice early. The last two runs were pretty much flawless."

"One more time…"

All the ballerinas and ballerinos blinked in disbelief, turning on a dime, staring at the person that said it like an elephant in the room. That was something they all expected from the previous Swan Queen, not Ms. Laid Back girl from San Francisco. Lily took a peak around and turned to Thomas as if she didn't understand the situation.

"Did I stutter?" Lily pointed one finger in the air. "I said one… more…. time."

"Heh… you heard her everyone." Thomas smiled to himself, walking to his position next to the piano, preparing the background music. He clapped his hands. "One more time! Let's go!"

"Aw man…" Terry sighed, slumping over as he was really hoping for an early night.

"Oh come on big boy. You can handle it." Lily teased as she suddenly gave him a nice firm tap in his crotch area, making him jump up in a grimace.

"Gah! Lily!"

- B – B – B –

After practice the main make up area for the girls as always was gossip city, the girls buzzing away at rumors and deprecating anyone else that wasn't in the room. Gailana and Madeline were probably the two guiltiest of this. They were known as the loud mouths of this production for sure. The gossip girls of Swan Lake.

"My God what got into Lily today?" Gailana packed her kit into her bag. "She was impressive no?"

"Yeah, really impressive at making us all look bad." Madeline took her shot as she was combing her hair in the lit up mirrors. "I thought we were done with that shit when Nina left. She's supposed to be one of the girls."

"True but, it's nice to see her do well! She seems like a level headed girl." Gailana appeared to be the softer of the two.

"For now..." Madeline corrected. "They're all the same. Beth went big headed and that lasted for a downward spiral of a couple years. Look where she's at now."

"It's freaking ridiculous." Veronica suddenly stepped in from the darkness of the entrance, smirking to herself. "But Madeline you're so right. I'm counting down the days when Lily finally cracks. She's from a small fry dancing area. She won't last at this rate."

Gailana blinked, grabbing some gum and popping it in her mouth. "I guess I'm the only one rooting for Lily?"

"Why are you rooting for someone who's a job stealing whore?" Veronica skewed at her peer. "She waltzes in here like hot shit from nowhere and backed each and everyone of us back a couple years. That's not fucking fair!"

"Uh, I guess that makes sense…" Gailana shrugged.

"You bet your ass it makes sense." Veronica hisses, taking a seat in frustration. "Well at least Nina's out of the picture now so it evens out a bit. Poor little girl. She's talented but she just couldn't hang with big players. The pressure drove Little Ms. Perfect crazy…"

"Ahem…"

Like a disturbance in the air, everyone peaked over to see the Swan Queen they had been talking about standing in the doorway not all that amused. Madeline was wondering how long she had been listening in. Gailana felt bad just being in this type of conversation as her bubble she was blowing popped on cue. And Veronica was just looking at her so innocent, not really giving a crap what Lily heard or didn't hear.

"Well ladies, I just came by to pick up a hair dryer I let someone borrow…" Lily waltzed in very casually all smiles.

"Oh…r-right... here ya go Lily." Madeline grinned a false smile, placing the blow dryer in her hand.

"Thank you…" Lily said it firmly, pulling it away, strutting out the door as the girls just looked at one another like they dodged a bullet.

"Oh darn,I forgot to mention something…" Lily timely poked her head back in. "Talk all the shit about me behind my back you want because that's your cowardly problem. But if any of you mention Nina again? I'm going to have to shove your ballerina slippers down your throats."

The girls gulped.

"Hah, what are you now? Her protector?" Veronica giggled, apparently the only openly defiant one.

"How could you talk down to someone who gave it all on stage like that?" Lily was so disappointed, crossing her arms.

"Oh don't get me wrong. She's a great dancer! Much better than the current Queen I must say." Veronica rolled her eyes in the insult. Gailana and Madeline just looked at one another with faces that screamed that they didn't like where this was going.

"Ouch, I sense some bitterness in this room." Lily clutched her heart mockingly. "You know if you spent as much effort in improving yourself as insulting me maybe you wouldn't be Thomas' little bitch that he's been riding for years and getting nothing out of."

"W-what did you say?" Veronica gritted her teeth, standing up.

"Hmm, I know how you can be helpful since you've clearly lost a step Veronica." Lily mockingly put a finger to her lip. "Why don't you be a baby doll and wake up early tomorrow, straighten up my costume for me, get me a tall glass of Starbucks coffee, and bring me breakfast into my dressing room. Because that's the closest you'll ever be to the lead role…"

"Why you little BITCH!" Veronica suddenly lunged at Lily but was caught my Galiana and Madeline, the angry ballerina struggling to get her hands on Lily.

"Whoa looks like I hit a nerve… can't take what you put out now can you?" Lily laughed at Veronica teasingly, backing away slowly as she waved. "That goes for any of you. Got something to say to me? I'm right down the hallway! I'll gladly play your games."

Lily took off with a victorious strut, satisfied with ruffling Veronica's feathers more so than she ever thought it could gratify. It was official she had her groove back. At this moment in time everyone knew that this wasn't the soft spoken Nina they were dealing with anymore. The Queen's territory was now marked.

- B – B – B –

( Time Square | Shopping Centre )

"Hey come on Nina, you've been in there for like five minutes now!"

"Okay, okay… I'm just making sure everything is on… er…. right…" Nina muttered if not just to appease impatience, tightening the belt around her thin waist with a nice fastening.

"Well hurry your toush up!" Lily huffed cross legged, leaning against the seat, playing a furious game of _Angry Birds_ on her phone to aid her wait.

Nina curled her lip, brushing off the egging voice outside as she brought her attention back onto herself. Self-confidence about her image was never a strength of hers and this was a test. With a slide of cloth over her face, she strapped on the rose toned spaghetti string top Lily picked out for her. Sliding the two straps against her smooth pale shoulders, tugging the top straight so it hugged in the right spots, her outfit was now complete.

Thus began the stare down for the ages.

She couldn't really explain it. It was like looking at someone else, eyeing herself from head to toe. High heels, skintight jeans, and a sexy top was probably a club girl like Lily's nice casual wear. Nina had the strangest feeling inside. Sure, the hip clothes made a difference but there was something different about her beyond the clothes she was wearing.

It was like all the things she had been through. All the pain and suffering. The surviving. The remnants of all that was all written on her face and body. Somewhere and sometime in the past few months she grew up. She wasn't a sweet little girl stuck in a grown up's body anymore. She was a sexy young woman now. A beautiful young woman. Something she never knew she could be…

"Whoa Nina Sayers es muy caliente!" Lily clapped her Spanish flare as Nina walked out of the dressing room stall, still feeling a bit strange about this whole make over ordeal. Granted she was having as much fun as Lily did but in a much quieter manner.

"… So this looks good?" Nina twirled around to get a glimpse from behind, the pants hugging her skinny frame quite perfectly.

"Yep, you are definitely going to break a lot of hearts madam." Lily inspected her friend from behind. "Too bad us ballerinas can't have big asses though." She playfully bopped Nina in the rear.

"Lily!" Nina blushed as she spun back in a defensive sway, looking around if anyone saw.

"What? I'm just sayin'." Lily nodded in approval as she continued her inspection. "It's official. I think this one is a keeper. To me it says like… I'm a nice girl… but my fiery side will burn you… so proceed with caution."

Nina just laughed at her friend's words of wisdom as she continued to look in the mirror. She felt like she was being pampered. Like some sort of fashion model.

"Alright now, here's some of things you picked out which surprised me." Lily, the shopping professional, had an entire rack set up, pulling out a skimpy black number with a short skirt. "How about you try this one out?"

Nina blinked looking at it. "Uh, you know, I only chose that one so you wouldn't make fun of my 'old lady' tastes anymore." She paraphrased Lily quite gracefully.

"That's still no excuse… put it on!" Lily shoo'd Nina into the dressing room, the newest mannequin tumbling into the dresser with yet another outfit to put to the test.

"To make sure that you won't take a century I'll be in here this time."

"Lily!" Nina had an almost horrified look on her face as gasped. Lily kicked the door, the entrance to the dressing room stall locking behind them. "What are you doing?" She whispered aloud.

"Oh come on, no one's going to catch us… well, unless you want to be caught that is." Lily purred quietly, suddenly pushing Nina gently against the wall, leaning her weight on her in the most seductive pin Nina had only seen in movies.

"A-are you really doing this right now?" Nina blinked as the unpredictability of Lily still was an amazing thing, the black winged babe pinning her there with naughty ideas written all over her facial expressions.

"Oh come on… it'll be fun…." Lily reached down and began unbuckling her belt. "Think adventure… think action…."

"B-but in here? Right now?" Nina gasped as she stood there like a helpless little damsel.

"What… you don't want to…?" Lily gently pulled down those jeans.

_Of… course… I want to…_

Nina didn't reply just letting Lily undress her, silently staring at her. Lily smirked as her perky little body pressed up against Nina's. She could even feel her old rivals increased heartbeat.

"Wow you really want to do this in a public place…" Lily giggled to herself suddenly backing off. "Isn't that just cute? Sorry but… I'm just not comfortable doing it here… I'm just so… proper you know."

"Ugh…" Nina's face grew into a scowl as crossed her arms ashamed. It was a sad truth but Lily had her wrapped around her little finger. She was like some sort of puppet master to the animal inside her. And whenever she felt like it she could coy it to come out. Just like last night…

"W-we're not going to talk about it anymore soon are we?" Nina began to change into her other outfit.

"Talk about what sweet lips?" Lily sat down on the bench built into the dresser.

"Last night…"

"Oh… I didn't know that we were supposed to talk about it." Lily shrugged. "I liked it. Did you like it?"

"Uh… yes but-"

"Then what's there to talk about?"

"Well I don't know…" Nina began sliding the black dress over her. "Maybe about our-"

_Ring Tone: Can't read my! Can't read my! He can't read my Poker Face!_

"Hold onto that thought dear." Lily grabbed at her phone much to the chagrin of Nina, reading her text with much enthusiasm.

"You look really excited about something…" Nina adjusted her dress pulling it down as she once again was doing mirror inspection. The only thing her mind was fixated on was that she showing off a little more leg than she was more comfortable to do. It wasn't right for her to do this. She couldn't get it into her head. She was actually… sexy.

"Oh dear God! Okay we gotta get out of here quick." Lily bounced up and down.

"What?" Nina blinked. "Why?"

"Have you ever been to a Nine Inch Nails concert?" Lily could have been foaming at the mouth as rabid as she was acting.

"No… is it like some sort of Rock Band?"

"Some sort of Rock Band?" Lily shivered. "You poor deprived child only listening to that violin music." She stroked her cheek. "Don't you worry my little ballet fiend. Lily will give you your music fix. My friend just texted me about a concert happening tonight across the MTV lot. I even got some ear plugs if it gets too loud for you. You up for it?"

"I guess so… why not?" Nina smiled.

"Alright!" Lily grabbed her hand like an excited child on Christmas Day. "Let's get this stuff paid for and get out of here. We're gonna be late!" She took a gander at Nina again smirking at how the dress fit her. "Huh, well at least I know I have the hottest friend date for the concert."

"You're just saying that because I agreed to go…"

Lily only winked in reply.

- B – B – B -

Tossing the tip to the less than polite taxi driver Lily and Nina scrambled down the Time Square crowd to beat the jam. High heeling it all the way down with the grace of ballerinas Nina was surprised when Lily caused them to stop putting on the breaks as she sniffed the air. Nina groaned as she almost twisted her ankle overstepping the sidewalk.

"Before we walk in, follow me." Lily pulled her over to an alley way, smiling as she reached into her purse, pulling out a plastic bag with what looked to be grass clumps in it. She opened it taking a whiff. "Ah thank God I found some legit dealers yesterday. They were hanging outside my nearest convenient store."

"I… see." Nina blinked as she watched a professional blunt wrapper at work.

"Yeah they were from Jersey. One of them was this thin guy dressed like a little kid. He kept hitting on me and didn't know when to shut up." Lily took out a paper licking it. "The other one was this kind of cute pudgy one with a beard… really quiet though…" She laid it flat, placing some of the clumps in a clean line, wrapping it up as neat as possible.

"This is, weed right?" Nina looked like she was dialed into the Discovery Channel.

"Yes dear, nothing you'd be interested in." Lily smirked mischievously, finishing her blunt, grabbing her lighter and lighting it up. The pungent smell hit Nina's nostrils right away, the smell of marijuana as distinct as any in the world. A puff later and Lily was all smiles feeling the smoothness.

"You look like you're enjoying yourself. How long does _this one_ last?" Nina asked almost teasingly, feeling a bit of deja-vu come by again.

"Not long enough for me." Lily said with much sad truth, taking another hit, inhaling it all in like the vapor of life. "Why are you thinking about trying this stuff out too?"

"No… I don't have a good history of-"

"Look to be honest, it's not as bad as E… well if you don't do too much of it anyway." Lily smiled reassuringly. "Here just take a little hit… it won't do you any harm." She reached out to hand her the piece, Nina staring at the muse to all her sinful desires. This wasn't like last time she thought to herself.

_I trust you…_

Nina pulled it up like a cigarette putting it in between those lips, sucking it in and into her lungs. Soon after she gagged coughing a bit as she exhaled, smoke pulsing out as Lily laughed, patting her back.

"Like a pro…" Lily joked, taking the blunt. "Come on baby. You feel anything yet?"

"N-no…" Nina coughed a bit more, shaking it off.

"Hehe… you will soon."

- B – B – B -

_You let me violate you…  
You let me desecrate you…  
You let me penetrate you…  
You let me complicate you…_

Nina's night out with Lily the first time was like swimming in deep unknown waters. This second time around seemed even more intense even if she was somewhat more prepared. This wasn't the usual dance club. The band's music raged in synthetic pulses but the energy of a live band rumbled the ground they stood. The crowd brought out the freakiest of the freaks.

Mohawks, tattoos, and piercings were the norm. Topless girls were riding the waves of bouncing bodies beneath, while stripper poles had a few ladies dangling in more than comprising positions. Lily called these people 'her people'.

"Fuck I love this song!" Lily yelled out at the top of her lungs as she held onto Nina, bouncing to the exterior and keeping out of the mosh pit that spell doom for these little ballerinas.

Nina only smiled back at Lily with a ginger face of someone feeling the effects of mary jane for the first time. She felt so relaxed. So at peace inside. She wasn't worrying about anything or was she over thinking anything. It was just a pleasant sensitive state, rocking to the music with her friend's ass right on her.

_Help me,  
I broke apart my insides!  
Help me,  
I've got no soul to sell!_

"You feeling it yet?" Lily had a bit of smokiness in her eyes, a lazy glare as she stroked Nina's hair, checking on her friend with true concern.

"I… think so…" Nina lazily blinked her eyes, feeling woozy.

"You have to be the cutest stoner in the history of baking Nina!" Lily shouted into her ear, pulling her close to her cheek as they rode the sexual wave that was a classic song by NIN. "Nina! Come on! I want you to meet some friends of mine!"

Nina nodded along not really hearing what was said, moving to the beat as they transferred over to the more quiet bar area. A group of young men and women greeted the two, Nina noticing some shot glasses being passed around, everyone downing them with no effort. With all inhibitions aside Nina downed her grey goose shot, getting cheers from a riled up group of young adults.

_Help me,  
The only thing that works for me  
Help me,  
Get away from myself!_

Nina couldn't even remember how many shots she took but she felt wobbly in her knees. She couldn't help herself anymore as her mind was totally out of it. She had been staring at Lily being her sexy self all night. Drenched in the liquid courage of vodka, she had enough of pussy footing around. Her primal thoughts reigned as she searched for Lily's face, finding it a couple feet away from her.

"What's up Nina sweetie?" Lily drunkenly giggled to not get a reply.

Nina just smirked to herself tilting her head like a predator finding its prey, grabbing her by the head and forcibly pulling them both into a vigorous kiss. Lily's eyes doubled in size as she was caught by surprise, a tongue pushing her mouth open and into a make out session right in public view.

_I want to fuck you like an animal!  
I want to feel you from the inside!  
I want to fuck you like an animal!  
My whole existence is flawed!  
You get me closer to God!_

Their tongues danced as they shoved themselves into the filthiness of the bathroom. Neither of them caring why or where they were doing this at the moment. Nina pushed Lily against the wall a bit harshly.

"Ouch!" Lily whined. "What was that… for… mmmm…"

Nina had enough of the talking. She was not giving her a chance to even breathe as she continued her oral assault.

_You can have my isolation…  
You can have the hate that it brings…  
You can have my absence of faith …  
You can have my everything…_

"Nina, you really want to do this in here..?" Lily gasped her chest heaving up and down, pushing Nina gently away. Apparently one of them still had their sense about them.

_Why the hell not?_

Nina gave no verbal answer as she grabbed Lily's top and pulled it down, laying her neck and shoulder full of hard kisses, biting down even, eliciting loud moans that even cut through some of the blasting music outside.

_Help me,  
Tear down my reason!  
Help me,  
It's your sex I can smell!_

"I've always just wanted to do this to you…" Nina whispered into her ear, nibbling against her chin, pressing kisses around her lips teasingly.

"Y-you could've just asked…." Lily shivered as she felt her pants being unbuttoned.

_Help me…  
You make me perfect!  
Help me become somebody else!_

Nina knelt down as she swore her eye sights darken like a lid of black came over her. Lily had a dazed pleasured look at her face, breaths fluttering in anticipation as she leaned against the wall, palms against the tiles for support.

When her mouth reached the spot the ecstasy was only beginning.

_I want to fuck you like an animal!  
I want to feel you from the inside!  
I want to fuck you like an animal!  
My whole existence is flawed!  
You get me closer to God…_

- B – B – B –

Nina felt the climax, closing her eyes as she licked her own lips. She calmly relaxed wiping her mouth, glancing up expecting to see a more then appreciative Lily. What she did see wasn't exactly what she imagined. A beautiful young brunette was there, buckling up her pants and a dreamy stare, yes. The problem was that it wasn't Lily at all. Just some sexy stranger…

"You are amazing baby… but I never caught your name…"

"What the hell?" Nina gagged, standing up and coughing up a storm, leaving the girl puzzled. She turned in disbelief shaking her head as if this was another sick joke. She stormed out towards the restroom, seeing a reflection of herself in the mirror, black make up on and the full deal.

_Having fun?_

Nina clenched her fist. She shivered more so in anger than fear, pushing the door wide open to the thumping music. She knew she had to get outside… for her own sanity's sake.

- B – B – B –

_I wonder what's taking Nina's so long… _

Lily was at the bar area chatting up the cute bartender for awhile now, knowing Nina said she needed a bathroom break or something rather. She suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder turning to see an unexpected face.

"Hey Lily! Long time no see…"

"Hmm… yes.. totally long time no see…" Lily was a bit intoxicated, slurring her words slightly. "You must be… Harley Davidson?"

"Tom, remember? We met at a club a few weeks ago? You never returned my calls."

"Ooooh Tom… Yes… Yes! I remember. The guy with the small dick and talks too much." Lily clapped her hands giggling as the entire area cracked up in laughter.

"W-what did you say?" Tom grabbed her hand quite harshly.

"Ow… let go tough guy…"

"I didn't come here to be disrespected by some skinny little whore."

"I'm just explaining why I didn't call back, sheesh." Lily laughed drunkenly. "But I suggest you let go now…"

"Or what? You're going to ballet me to death?"

"Something like that." Lily turned to the bartender as he was about to step in to help her, winking. "They call this a _Jette Passe_…" She suddenly launched her leg out like a rear mule kick, smashing it right into his groin with perfect precision. The poor fellow lost all the air in his lungs, whining loudly as he dropped Lily's arm. The entire bar was clapping for her as she mockingly bowed.

"Wow, drinks are on me Lily… that was sweet." The Bartended smirked in appreciation.

"Thank you! I think I better split though, might of overstayed my welcome" Lily smiled as she walked off, stepping over a slowly recovering Tom.

- B – B – B -

"Nina!" Lily yelled out as she stepped out of the club, not being able to track her down. She was getting worried sick as she double checked anyone to see if they saw her. After listening for a second outside in a calm breath, she sighed in relief as she heard the soft voice in the alley way. She could only blink as she realized what she was doing though.

"… So you see… the white Swan dies so she can escape the pain of a life where goals cannot be met… where expectations can't be met…"

"Whoa… that's fuckin deep Nina…" A young boy took another of many hits, spewing out the smoke.

"So… you're saying the Black Swan… is sort of like… an evil twin? Or is she like just a sister… that looks a lot like the White Swan?"

"Shit… what if the Black Swan is some sort of devil incarnate… sent by Satan himself?"

"Oh god…" Lily just smacked her forehead as she was staring at a Nina surrounded by a bunch of young stoner kids, sharing blunts together, all apparently sharing their 'wise' wisdom with one another too. A Swan Lake debate is the last thing she'd ever expect the youth of America to be speaking about. No matter how stoned they were.

"Nina! What the hell how long have you been out here?" Lily grabbed her.

"H-hey! Everyone! Look! It's the White and Black Swan, Lily!" Nina giggled, taking another puff of her blunt, blowing it at her concerned friend, making a pot smoke cloud around her head.

"Whoa, the Black and White Swan is the same person?" Another Stoner gasped. "That's way out there yo!"

"Maybe it's like… a freaking metaphor… you know… about how we're our own biggest enemy… ya know?"

"That's a great point Larry!" Nina pointed, giggling to herself.

"Okay come on Socrates I think you've had enough for tonight…" Lily had to pull her away, Nina waving at her newly found wake and bake friends.

"Come hang out with us more often Nina!"

"I will if I remember how to get… back here!"

- B – B – B –

Nina was hitting her low as Lily finally got them into a Taxi cab, the young ballerina groaning as her head was torn between drunkenness and fried brain cells. She turned over to Lily who looked a bit guilty, stroking Nina's forehead as she tried to calm her down.

"You are not good at holding your high Nina…"

"Of course… I'm not good at it like you…" Nina giggled. "You're better than me at everything…"

"W-what?" Lily blinked, looking at her confused. "What makes you say that?"

"D-don't b.s. me…" Nina leaned her head back. "You're sexy… you get all the boys… you're so easy going… you are everything a woman is supposed to be…"

"Nina that's not even near everything any woman's supposed to be…" Lily sighed.

"Whatever…" Nina laughed again, stretching her arms, watching as her hands looked like a multitude of them were moving as she waved it front of her. "Now you're going to probably dance the part of the Swan Queen better than I did too…"

"In my dreams maybe…" Lily grabbed at Nina's hands. "Why are you talking like this huh?"

"Eer… m-maybe because I am being honest." Nina slurred. "Maybe my other self is right. And I need to stop being a little chicken and to start taking things for myself!"

"Other… self?" Lily stared peculiarly at her with those words.

"I need to be more like you, right?" Nina made a strange assessment. "Making love, fucking, and then mysteriously disappearing like a ghost! Just like tonight. Just like the other night."

"Gah! Nina not so loud!" Lily covered her mouth with her gloved hand, turning towards the taxi driver. "Hey you! You got any headphones? Put em on now!"

"B-but…"

"PUT THEM ON NOW!" Lily's fury forced the poor driver into grabbing his ear muffs.

"See… Lily's so strong… Nina's so weak…" Nina shrugged, laughing it off.

"Hey quit that! I mean it!" Lily grabbed Nina's shoulders shaking her. "You're not weak alright?"

"You don't know me…" Nina smiled at her with a haunting look. "You barely even know me… how can you pretend you do?"

"I'm your friend aren't I?"

"… I don't know…" Nina crossed her arms, sighing. "Would a friend of mine, be killed in my mind over and over again?"

"Killed over and over again?" Lily gasped. "What are you talking about?"

The playful high was done… a somber voice was here…

"Opening night, my other self-made me think that you were trying to take what was mine… and I killed you…" Nina's voice droned. "And… I dragged you into the bathroom… and I didn't even care…"

Lily was frozen not only in terror but was astonished at the words coming out Nina's voice. This other self. Was this a schizophrenia that caused Nina to totally lose it and stab herself? It looked to be the case…

"The blood was on my hands. And I just cared about the show… about myself…" Nina began tear up uncontrollably. "And, I feel so damn bad! And I am so mad at myself! Sometimes I wished I died I feel so bad!"

"Sshhh don't say that!" Lily was fighting back tears too, clinging onto Nina stroking her head. "It's okay… it's all fake…"

"H-how can you even care about me still after I told you something so horrible?" Nina began to cry on Lily's shoulder, clutching onto her.

"Because I'm your friend…" Lily smiled weakly while clinging onto her tightly. "Please don't tear yourself down. You need to stop or you'll never get better."

Lily never knew it was so bad for Nina but she felt stupid she didn't figure it was that bad. How deep were the scars in her life she would never understand. Tonight though she silently vowed to help Nina beat these demons.

"I'm… sorry Lily…" Nina clutched onto her with every ounce of strength she had, for the first time in her life noticing there was someone there to catch her when she needed the support.

"Don't you ever think of yourself as weak again you hear me?" Lily backed off slowly, waiting for some sort of positive reply. She got a weak nod that satisfied her, slowly bringing Nina's lips to hers in a mending kiss.

Even Nina's toiling self couldn't resist those soft lips' pleasure.


	7. Act VI: Break

**Act VI: Break**

_Inside there are places where I can feel.  
Torn from my body, my flesh it peels.  
During this ride, we can cut up…  
What we like..._

_Break…_

_Break…_

Confusing what was real. Nina awoke to the same old story. The same story that had been coiling around her neck… that invisible snake that was constricting her every breath. For a few seconds it was another jumbled mess. No matter how hard she fought, just like her ruthless practices in the ballet studio, the elements just wouldn't come together. Fragments of what she smelled, what she heard, what she felt, and what she saw didn't make a cohesive thought.

Remembrance. It smelled like the room of a sweet young girl, a girl she knew actually very well. The sheets were familiar and soft too, that same smooth fabric that was tucked under her chin by her mother before she would sleep. That music. The music in her ears. The one that accompanied the toy ballerina in the music box, playing softly in the background like a soundtrack to her life, spinning endlessly on its toes.

_It never stops…_

_Just like you never stop._

Nina felt a buckle and then a solid shake, the bed springs rustling underneath in tidy squeaks. The presence couldn't be denied. She was in her room… but she wasn't alone. On cue her nose caught a breeze of an intoxicating sweet perfume, an alien scent tangling with all she was familiar with. It was the warmth of a breath. She could feel the breath on her as if there was a face inches away. And when Nina felt a hand brush up against her cheek she knew who it was.

_Lily…_

There was no time to think. Lily never lets her think. Her lips were like soothing fire and piercing ice. Succulently warm but painfully cold. Lily's mouth wouldn't be denied either way and Nina as usual didn't question it. Teeth gently chewed on her bottom lip, tongues wrapped around each other in delight as Nina gasped, feeling hands travel down her waist.

_Waiting alone, I cannot resist.  
Feeling this hate, I have never missed.  
Please someone give me a reason…  
To rip off my face…_

_** She tossed me on the bed. She took advantage of me. She licked me… it felt so good...**_

The sensations suddenly stopped but it wasn't because of some unknown force. For once Nina knew what she was doing. Letting out a deep breath as somehow deep down she knew it wasn't exactly the way it was supposed to be. She stares at those winged tattoos for confirmation, watching them pulse and curl as if they were alive. In an instant, in her firm grasp were those two curious hands, clutched by their bony wrists, Nina staring at what she knew wasn't Lily.

Lily was warm. Lily tasted sweet. Lily cared about her.

This thing was none of these.

"I know it's you…" Nina whispers to the false face of her friend, eyes as defiant as ever. The one on top of her smiles a devil, giggling like a little girl without moving her mouth an inch. It was disturbing, watching it glance up and down, Nina being the tasty treat beneath her. Nina suddenly notices the face shift like a melted painting, a dark rendition of a mirror image gone wrong returning her stare. Black feathers began to sprout from the tattoos, surrounding the dark seed's body as if her skin had become the costume itself. She was being confronted.

The Black Swan was here.

"What do you want from me?" Nina's grip suddenly tightened around the wings, almost to the point of a crushing strength.

_You still don't know you stupid bitch? _The dark Nina pushed forward with reckless abandon, sliding her tongue into Nina, trying to force down a poisonous kiss.

_**"How come you didn't wake me up?"**_

Nina felt the pleasure but knew better of it. She bucked her hips, turning her head insolently, snapping her wrists to the side, sending her darker self-tumbling over the bed with a wicked force. The Black Swan was flat out shocked, turning its head up as it shrieked towards Nina.

"No more…" Nina had a look of fury on her that she didn't know she had, crawling up to a strong stand. She doesn't hesitate; keeping a close eye on the Black Swan as it began to laugh. Nina scrambled to her feet, leaping towards the door, grabbing the steel rod she used as a door block against her mother.

_You fucking bitch. _The Black Swan hissed like a psychotic killer, glaring up with red eyes glowing in darkness. _I just wanted to make you feel good. To make us feel good!_

"You've done enough!" Nina stood strong, holding her away with the metal rod ready to swing. "This won't go on anymore…"

_You need this. You need me! _Nina couldn't see it coming as the Black Swan leapt up almost unnaturally in a float, soaring and smashing into Nina, shoving her hard against the door. The impact made her scream out in pain as she dropped her weapon.

_You ungrateful little whore!_

_**I touched myself like Thomas told me to… I almost forgot that I had a body. I can… feel things…**_

Nina struggled, not backing down as she held the creature at bay, surprisingly showing no fear. "You've tormented me. You tried to kill me. Why the hell do I need you?"

_I DID NOTHING! _The Black Swan screeched with a furious passion, spitting in Nina's face in disgust. _YOU'RE KILLING US! YOU'VE BEEN KILLING US FOR TOO LONG!_

"W-what are you talking about!" Nina screamed back with energy she didn't know the source of, suddenly shoving the Black Swan into the wall now, the creature smashing into the cupboard, shattering the wood into splinters.

_You are such a stupid little girl. _ The dark Nina screamed out in an angry flurry, wincing in pain. _You think because you have that Lily that it is all well now? I'm going to kill her! You can't resist me anymore!_

"Lily is the reason I can resist you!" Nina felt it well up in her, strength from the outside she now had. "You've screwed up everything in my life! She was the only one there for me and you tried to turn me against her!"

_** "Are you nervous about the big night?" **_

_** "Oh God you must be freaking out…"**_

_** "Well I think you're going to be wonderful…"**_

_** "Hey, you really need to just relax…"**_

_I'll kill her if I have to!_

"No you won't!" Nina reached out with her hands, grabbing her dark image, tackling her to the floor pinning her down. "You hear me? You're done! I'm done being afraid! You won't hurt Lily as long as I'm here!"

The Black Swan screeched out to the heavens, trying to push Nina off in a losing struggle. _You think someone will actually protect you? We're on our own!_

_** "Let me dance the part of the Black Swan for you…"**_

_** "NO! IT'S MY TURN NOW!"**_

"It was you… you're the liar!" Nina almost felt the glass in her side again, not believing the lies anymore as she tried to ignore it. "You tried to turn the one person trying to help me against me. I could have died!"

_You're clueless! _The Black Swan suddenly found its own second wind, pushing off her hips, pinning Nina to the floor now in a reversal. Its wings coiled up like weapons, going around Nina's neck like a vice, choking the life out of her. _WE'VE BEEN DEAD!_

_** "My sweet little girl…" **_

_** "All this work. All this control. For what?"**_

_I killed you? _The Black Swan was beside itself from a suppressed anger that no one could understand. It felt like all the glass in Nina's room was going to break and shatter, the screaming was so intense. _You've been killing me for too long! You've been stabbing me for as long as we lived!_

_** "Have you been scratching yourself again!**_

_** "Where's my sweet little girl?" **_

_** "SHE'S GONE!"**_

_SHUT UP!_

Nina was horrified, peering into the red eyes of her tormentor, the color of those deep crimson irises slowly seeping away, turning into a deathly gasped as blood began trickling down the Black Swan's lips, seemingly from nowhere. The creature takes a stand weakly, letting Nina go with a harsh shove. Everything in the room suddenly was fair game. Glass was being shattered with every swing. Her bed was being torn to shreds with those same limbs.

Her dolls.

Her music box.

Everything was breaking.

_Blood it is pouring…  
And pouring…  
And pouring…  
And pouring…._

_YOU FUCKING BITCH! _The Black Swan's wings were being torn up like a bloody massacre, being slashed by its own destruction. The glass and wood that was shattered and splintered were cutting away at her flesh with ease. _YOU ARE KILLING US! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY TURN!_

"Please stop!" Nina for reasons deep within couldn't take it anymore. Watching herself tear her own body apart from the inside out was too much. It was too… wrong. Too disturbing…

The Black Swan slumped over towards the mirror staring at the glass for one second. It was driving itself mad, seeing only Nina's reflection and not her own. She coiled her wings and let out a scream with every strike, smashing the mirror in a repeating blow, each time feeling herself becoming weaker and weaker as the glass cracked away. _I WAS DOING YOU A FAVOR!_

_** The skin keeps pulling away… I keep making myself bleed…**_

_** Is that… a feather?**_

_I'm about to break…_

"P-please don't do this!" Nina suddenly leapt onto the Black Swan's twisted state, holding the doppelganger down with every ounce of strength she had in that lean ballerina's body, trying to prevent it from doing any more damage to itself. It felt like a losing battle in every way, the blood dripping over the both of them as they struggled, pushing against walls, slamming into the destruction around them. Nina didn't know how she held on but she knew she felt herself die before. She didn't want this to happen again.

_Why?_ The Black Swan turned to her in a defiant stare, still trying to push her off, now with deep tears streaming out of its eyes. _Why do you care now! You never give a shit. You never stood up! You never gave into what you needed!_

Nina felt guilt well up inside as she was watching herself… wanting to die. She held the Black Swan in her arms as it was screeching but getting weaker by the minute. The pain. The suffering. The bleeding. It was all taking its toll. Nina didn't let up, holding into her dark self's weak last breaths with a heavy awareness.

_Life and the answers aren't so clear.  
I wish I can find a way to disappear.  
All these thoughts they make no sense.  
I found bliss in ignorance._

Nina began to realize it as she analyzed the wounded image of the Black Swan. Her whole life she had been suppressing this. This poor creature that had been waiting inside her to be awoken. Crushing her feelings beneath excuse after excuse. If it wasn't her mother it was someone else. If it wasn't her loneliness it was her quest for perfection in a world where it wasn't plausible. As much as she denied it… this was her. This sexual creature was as much her as anything else…

For one night she let it out, the darkness overcoming her. This thing tried to kill her but only because it didn't want to go back.

_Why would it want to go back to how things were?_

"… It was _my_ fault wasn't it?" Nina whispered to her dark self in the most honest words she could finally muster, holding it in her arms as its struggling began to become more like a weak quiver. The Black Swan didn't even reply with its voice, staring at her 'real' self in silence, blood dripping away from its body, her tearful eyes the only reaction to Nina's revelation.

"I've been hurting you… no… hurting _me_ all this time." Nina bit her tongue angrily, looking down in a deep shame. "Ignoring everything because I just couldn't handle it…"

The Black Swan coiled its neck as it was glancing into Nina's regretful stare. It was calm. It was listening. For once it wasn't trying to overwhelm.

"You are me…" Nina held weakly in the first time she stated those words, stroking the Black Swan's feathers. "And you deserved better then what I gave you…"

_I'm sorry…._

Nina was disappointed in herself as her eyes began to well up with moisture, shaking the Black Swan gently in her grasp. The Black Swan for the first time was not contentious, staring at Nina with its dark gaze, a glance that for some reason screamed a final stare. It seemed to have heard what Nina had to say, the bird letting out a weak caw as it laid flat against Nina's grip. It curled its bloody feathers across Nina's face, stroking, giving her a simple nod as it gave its last breath.

Nina trembled as she felt it fade away, feathers floating away from her grip, the body slowly disappearing into the night. There wasn't a spec of evidence to what she saw. Nina was alone. On her knees, no one in her grasp, not a feather or drip of blood anywhere. Her room was still intact and not touched, being her new apartment and not her old living space. For the first time in her life she felt different inside. She felt like she had found herself…

Still alone... but things were… clearer.

_Nothing seems to go away…  
Over and over again…  
Just like before…  
I'm about to break!_

- B – B – B -

It was business as usual on a cold Sunday morning at the Ballet Studio. Thomas strolled into his office with notes in hand and a briefcase in the other, opening the doorway to his room to begin the usual routine in the morning. On a typical day he would usually run down his spec sheets to detail any problems he noticed his performers had, as well as organize the many meetings with the studio as far as future projects.

There was a kink in his plans this morning though. This was usually something he did by himself. Company wasn't usually welcome.

"Howdy boss…"

To his surprise, there sat a not as usually pepped up Lily, sitting on his desk looking right at him with a judgmental expression. With a coffee in her hand, she was dressed quite warmly with a winter jacket and a _San Francisco Giants_ beanie over her ballet gear. It was a shame for Thomas her stare was a bit colder than her dressing style.

"Lily?" Thomas glanced around. "I know I said I wanted you here early but-"

"Thomas we need to talk." Lily motioned for him to close the door, fiddling with her gloved fingers as Thomas did so.

"… What's wrong?"

"It's Nina…" Lily took a sip of her morning cup of Joe, not taking an eye off of him.

"… Is she alright?" Thomas seemed quite concerned as she had his complete attention. Lily wasn't buying it.

"I think she is… but…" Lily paused as even all the time to prep this she was flustered. She got off the desk and began pacing. "Look I know she had to have had something really wrong with her when she stabbed herself that night. Honestly though I thought this lead part in this hectic place just made her extremely stressed or something. But last night… she told me some things. Really creepy things… and disturbing things…"

"Such as…?"

"Like how she thought she killed me when she stabbed herself." Lily finished a bit more comfortable than anyone should. "Isn't that a nice thought?"

"Strange…" Thomas curled his brow as he was now the one leaning on his desk, staring at his concerned Swan Queen with his own worries. "Perhaps we should tell her doctors?"

"What? So they can medicate her more? So they'll take her to a place where they wear straightjackets and crazies bounce on cushion walls?" Lily scowled at the thought. "No way! Nina's a good person! She's just a little weak inside right now. Heck, if I had a mother like hers I'd be fucking feeling insane too."

"Well apparently you came to me for a reason." Thomas suggested with a turn in the conversation.

"I came to ask questions…" Lily's tone shifted a bit as well, almost surprisingly in a darker manner. "I'm pretty sure Nina never had a problem until this whole Swan Lake production started. Having the lead part must have driven her to this but it has to be more. I asked some of the girls and they always knew Nina was a loner but-"

"Are you suggesting something Lily?" Thomas stared at her with almost just as accusing eyes.

"I'm just saying… I look at Nina now… and then I look at Beth…"

"Lily, do not speak about Beth and do not start making insinuations before you are ready to deal with it."

"I'm not insinuating anything…" Lily curled her lips, trying to read him as she tilted her head. Her smirk came by so slowly. "My, my you were a little defensive there though. Maybe I should start making some insinuations. Just what did you do to her Thomas?"

"… Are you done yet?"

"Just tell me, what did you do with Nina? She was only really talking to you and her mother. She must have told you something. You must have told her something…"

"I told her nothing beyond trying to find the Black Swan within her…"

"Like… literally… you wanted her to find her Black Swan? Like it's a real person?" Lily looked down as keywords were just passed to her, trying to piece it together, finally realizing some parts to the madness. "I see…"

"Now if we are done, I'm-"

"Going to get ready for the big production… I know." Lily picked up her snug but still concerned self, walking towards the practice area with a casual strut.

"Lily, do not act as if you are the only one who is concerned for her." Thomas defended himself as he began organizing his desk. "The show must go on and we all must move on."

"Oh don't worry Thomas, I understand that, and I'm still one hundred percent on board." Lily pointed at him with accusatory marks. "But I'm not dancing for you. I'm not dancing for any of these girls here. I'm not dancing for the sponsors." She made her phone known to exist with a gentle shake. "If Nina texts or calls me? There isn't going to be a Swan Queen at practice today!"

- B – B – B –

_Crawling in my skin…  
Without a sense of confidence…  
Consuming…  
Confusing…_

With a grab of her bags and an exit of the building gone was another hard practice but Lily knew she nailed it. As much confusion was going on outside the ballet studio she was on a roll inside the building. She was a genius on the ballet mat as much as she was clueless on the outside. Thankfully Nina did text her to tell her that she was okay. Lily didn't think she could concentrate with what was said last night. She had her mind as clear as it could be until now…

_How bad did Nina have it? What can I do to help? _

"Your picture looks great." Lily heard the soft voice as she stepped outside seeing the girl she was supposed to meet after practice. Nina had texted and she delivered herself. Always the dependable one.

"You think so huh?" Lily smiled as she walked over to Nina, the former ballerina staring at the promotional poster to the Swan Lake production. "You should've seen the first version. I told them to re-do it because I honestly thought they made me look like Justin Beiber. It was horrible."

"Oh no, that doesn't sound good at all…"

"Nope but it all turned out good I think." Lily sighed happily, staring at her sexy self, expanding her hands as if she was reading captions beneath her image. "Lily, ballet extraordinaire! Binging the "lay"… back to Ballet. How's that for a tag line?"

"Clever as always." Nina giggled lightly at such a silly thought as she continued to glance at the poster. Lily meanwhile was delighted she got a positive reaction out of her friend but noticed the silence as she looked at the poster. She couldn't tell if Nina was admiring it or reflecting on it. It was only months ago that it was Nina's face plastered all over this thing after all – dark black boas draped across a scantily clad ballerina, looking glamorous as the Swan Queen.

There had to be some pent up frustration somewhere in that frail mind.

"Look about last night Nina…"

"I just wanted to clear things up as well." Nina turned to Lily before she could continue, covered tightly in her long winter's coat as she placed her cold hands into the pockets. "Do you mind going for a walk?"

"Yeah, hours of ballet with Thomas Leroy followed by more walking." Lily blinked with woeful sarcasm. "That's totally what a perfect day is in my book."

"Oh no you're limping." Nina looked at her with much concern, noticing Lily's ginger movements. "We don't need to walk. I just thought since I was cooped up all day-"

"Hey now it's not a big deal… I just the ankle tweaked today at practice." Lily made nothing of it, patting her shoulder with reassurance. "I'm fine. I need to cool down with a brisk walk anyway. Just don't walk too fast okay?"

"A-are you sure?"

"… Sure."

_Crawling in my skin…  
These wounds they will not heal…  
Fear is how I fall…  
Confusing…  
Confusing what is real…_

Walking outside the venue where so much had happened was a strange feeling. Walking with Lily at her side it was still even stranger at that. The Lincoln Performance Arts Centre had been Nina's home for so long, much longer than she even knew Lily. She spent more time here than she did with her mother. Practicing and breathing ballet for almost four years now as a professional dancer. Pulling the plug on this life when she had nothing else was killing her inside.

"So what do you want to start with?" Lily blew out some steam into the New York cold air. "You told me in the text you wanted to be completely honest with me right?"

"Let's um… start about last night." Nina blushed in deep inward sigh, bypassing that strange hallucination with the random girl quite strategically. "I remember saying some things in the taxi cab. I'm sorry I said those things Lily."

"I know you are." Lily's stare always brought about feelings of unease. "But you meant them didn't you?"

"Y-yes…" Nina nodded shamefully, looking towards the Lincoln Centre, running through all the memories all at once. "I was so obsessed. I couldn't think beyond the show. Everyone was a threat to me and for some reason I made you the target of all my fears."

"Why me?"

"… I…"

_**"Lily please get warmed up…"**_

_**"Oh I'm fine… I'm good."**_

"When you first came in do you remember what you did?" Nina asked curiously more so than a victimizing tone.

"Uh… kind of…"

"I was in the middle of tryouts and when you opened the door late…"

"I messed you up… oh my God. I almost forgot that!" Lily blinked shaking her head, remembering all the strange stares she got coming into the studio the first time. "My bad! It totally ran passed my head. I'm sorry! I m-mean was the new girl at the time. You know thinking where to go and not trying to look like an ass… and then… I end up looking like an ass… oh boy…"

"N-no it's fine…" Nina laughed at her sincerity, chuckling to herself at Lily's girlish mannerisms. "I remember we bumped into each other while I was leaving. I was so upset. It's silly looking back at it now. It was just… an accident."

"… And this has to do with killing me?" Lily crossed her arms.

"Oh… well…" Nina tried to recall things with a nervous scratch. "I guess it just snowballed from there. I kept looking at you from afar. Seeing the way you danced and the way you behaved. You were such a natural at what I was trying to become."

"The Black Swan huh?" Lily said in remembrance of Thomas' conversation. "You're a creepy stalker by the way…"

"Heh, I guess I deserve that…" Nina agreed shamefully, blushing as she was speaking in words she'd never thought she'd share with anyone. "I saw how attractive you were. I saw how much fun you had. And I realized how I was none of these things. I really never thought about how shallow as a person I was."

"Shallow is not a good word." Lily defended her.

"You saw how I lived Lily…" Nina felt pain well up inside. "For all my life I've lived like that. Wasting time. Thinking that I was okay. This whole production… showed me how bad it was for me."

"Well I wouldn't want to say your life is as perfect as your dancing now." Lily and held her hand as they crossed the sidewalk towards the metro. "But deep down you're a great person. That's what's important."

"I hope so." Nina smiled weakly, blushing at Lily's grasp on her wrist. "B-but I guess why I've been so hard on myself lately is because I got to know the real you." She took the steps down towards the metro, stopping on the stairway. Lily only blinked as Nina was as still as a statue, staying silent as she glanced around like a scanning cat.

_** Nina stared silently as a dark clad version of her passes her by, staring with a disappointed look.**_

"I saw myself in everything. Almost like I didn't want the real me to exist." Nina mumbled as she stared down the long metro entrance, almost waiting for someone to come by.

"So you wanted to become me?" Lily tried to empathize.

"Yes that's what I thought I needed to do to be perfect." Nina seemed satisfied that no one walked by, now leading the two, holding Lily's hand as she walked towards the metro. "I feel bad making you into the villain now that I realize how you were the only one who cared for me during this whole ordeal."

"Heh, it's just funny thinking how you were looking at me and being jealous." Lily blinked, almost too embarrassed with all the compliments. "You were jealous of the fact that I screw around in the studio? That I could use a glow stick?"

"And how comfortable you were in any situation… sure." Nina added.

"I guess I understand but I think almost all the girls at the studio wish they had your talent in dancing. Why didn't you focus on that instead of beating yourself up all the time of stuff you need to work on?"

"… I never really thought of it that way." Nina gave a slight smirk at Lily as they were now waiting for the subway.

"So basically you got obsessed with becoming something you're not."

"Or… I became obsessed with becoming something I could have… been in another life…"

"You know it's never too late…"

_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface.  
Consuming  
Confusing  
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending…_

_Controlling  
I can't seem  
To find myself again.  
My walls are closing in._

It took only about five minutes underneath the streets of the NYC and they were off. They walked into the empty metro cab, taking a seat in the middle of the subway train, isolated from everyone. Lily stares at Nina's cute face as she was looking around yet again, almost as if she's searching for something… or someone. Nina keeps her eyes peeled trying to see the dark images come by. She finds nothing. Only her and Lily.

"So you kept seeing yourself in others huh?" Lily stroked her head.

"Yes…" Nina glanced down towards her shoes only for a second, fighting to look Lily in the face. It was still intimidating. "It got real bad all the way up until the show."

_**"Georgina? What's she doing here!"**_

_**"Thomas made me your alternate… it's only just in case…"**_

"So you really did think I was out to get you." Lily sighed, hearing the descriptions of her false death awhile ago.

"Yes, shamefully yes…" Nina frowned, holding Lily's wrist gently in support. "That's why I feel so bad. That's why it makes me so upset. I realize now that you are the only reason I'm here. You are the only one who tried to help me when I was down. And something inside rejected all of that."

"Oh come on Nina. You can't beat yourself up over that." Lily pleaded. "I'm just worried about your safety. I don't mind being killed as long as it's just in your head…" she paused with a grin. "Did I at least die sexily? Like with a cool moan or something?"

"…"

"Just kidding…" Lily patted her head. "Really though! Are you going to be okay? You only really physically harmed yourself. I don't want you to go through that again."

"I told you I'll be alright… I think I'll be okay." Nina took a last glance around the subway metro before returning the warm stare. "I realize now that I'm not alone. That I have someone that cares about me truly and without any conditions."

"Er, Nina… this is getting a little heavy for me…" Lily wanted to blush, looking away as her cheeks were red. "Can't we just go back to… like…"

"Kissing and not telling?" Nina finished surprisingly with a punctual sarcasm making Lily chuckle.

"Wow, I am rubbing off on you…"

"Yeah and this is another thing we have to talk about." Nina was rustling even more nervously, fiddling with her gloved hands as she glanced to the safety of the tiles below. Lily had a feeling where this was going, getting her own big gulp of nervousness in her throat. A ball of anguish that wanted to burst. The subway thankfully stopped, letting the two walk out the train, making their way up the stairs in a much needed silence. A deep breath…

_Without a sense of confidence  
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take.  
I felt this way before.  
So insecure…_

"Nina…"

"Lily, today for some reason I found the strength to tell you everything." Nina glanced around at the New York City lights as Lily did the same.

"And I appreciate it all." Lily smiled. "T-that's what I'm here for."

"For the first time in a long time… I have hope." Nina whispered, eyeing calmly at all the people walking in Time Square. She was noticing all their different faces, smiles, and the positive energy around her. Nina then turned to Lily with a serious look, staring straight into the Lily she knew now. "You told me that it was just sex between us. And everything isn't weird…"

"Yes… we don't want things to be weird."

"But it is weird to me…" Nina said it firmly, inside feeling like she wanted to vomit from the butterflies. Lily gulped again, nodding, looking at her with a sympathetic look. "I know that you're a kind of person that seems to be intimate with many people…"

"Are you basically calling me a slut in a nice way?"

"I… I didn't mean that no…" Nina gasped.

"I am kidding… again." Lily smiles, as always trying to keep it fun.

"L-look I am just saying… this having sex and kissing. And all this… for me it's not something I can do with just anyone."

"Nina…"

"I am not demanding anything. You don't owe me a thing Lily." Nina added for assurance. "I owe you everything. You gave me a second chance at life. I owe you the truth and I want to let it all out here tonight."

"…"

"Lily I don't want to be you… I want to be with you." Nina blushed madly, looking away. "I enjoy being close to you. I enjoy holding your hand. I enjoy being intimate with you…"

"Nina… I like doing those things with you too…"

"But I'm not dumb…" Nina whispers to Lily's surprise. "I know you're the kind of person that doesn't want this type of thing." She walked towards the shopping centers in a frustrated breath. "I see how you are alright with me and Thomas. Even wanting to root for us to be a couple sometimes. I see how you meet boys… and girls… having one night stands."

"Nina…" Lily held her hands from behind, pulling them up close but looking cold. "I'm not interested in a relationship like that… yes… you're right."

Nina looked at her with a blank stare. Not sad. Not angry. Just a blank slate. Almost like she was expecting this.

"I'm not the kind of girl you want to be doing this with anyway." Lily warned softly. "Trust me. It has nothing to do with you. It's all me. I haven't had a good history of this. It's better just to keep it… fun."

"… I-I understand…" Nina nodded.

_It hurts…_

"Y-you want a prince to carry you Nina. You want someone that can be your knight in shining armor." Lily frowned. "I'm not that. I am not good at a serious relationship… trust me. It will only end badly."

"… I see…"

"B-but hey, why can't we just bypass all that crap?" Lily suggested. "We don't need to do that. We can still be friends… and do all the things-"

"It doesn't work that way with me." Nina shook her head in a defiance that hurt her. "It's not fair to you or me if I do that because I know that I won't be honest with you or myself." She looked towards a reflection in the store glass. "I'm not lying to myself anymore Lily. Not anymore."

"I wish I could explain this better…"

"You don't have to explain anything to me Lily." Nina smiled, Lily not knowing if it was a false façade or not, glancing her up and down. "If you don't want this then I think the best thing to do is to just… be friends."

_Just friends…_

"Nina w-why? I mean can't we-"

"I'm going away for a while anyway." Nina seemed to somber up, thinking of what was to come. "To be serious about healing myself. To take my counseling seriously and to get away from the world I know. I'm not going to waste this opportunity."

"Y-you go… girl." Lily felt that ball in her throat just get bigger, still trying to be a positive source of energy.

_** "Oh my God I was concerned about you but you danced it so well! I'm sorry for doubting you! You did a great job!"**_

"No matter what happens I'll remember what you did for me for the rest of my life Lily." Nina began to tear up finally, against her cheeks ran a small little flow of her own tears. "There's nothing I can ever do to repay you…"

"J-just… get better." Lily wanted to tear up to but blinked it away forcibly, pulling Nina into a hug that wouldn't stop. "I'm rooting for you so bad…"

"I know… I know…" Nina hugged back, the two embracing under the cold night, their warmth flowing through one another. The hugs made them feel so good, both having their watery cheeks touch. Eventually it had to stop…

"I'm going to go see my mother now to start this healing process. And to end tonight I wanted to wish you luck as the Swan Queen one last time."

"Hey! Y-you're talking like you're going away for good or something." Lily looked at Nina, blinking as she stared. Nina looked so serious. So grown up…

"J-just remember me… exactly like I am now Lily…" Nina gave a rare big smile, making Lily's heart jump a few steps. "Because now I know you're the only person that saw something in me that I'm not ashamed of. That's worth keeping."

Lily glanced at the beautiful but tragic figure that stood in front of her, one last gaze. The stunning but torn up dancer that she grew so close to in the past months. Something was changing… something was going to be different… she just didn't know if it was going to be for the better.

"Nina… I…"

"Can you head back to your apartment from here? I know it's not that far off…"

"Y-yeah… I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"… G-good luck Swan Queen." Nina walked forward and pulled her into a big hug again, squeezing tightly, even harder than before. "You're the best…"

"The Swan Queen role is safe okay?" Lily whispered as she clung back. "I won't let you down…"

"I know it was good hands the minute I saw you dance it for the first time." Nina pulled away slowly and most reluctantly, glancing at the time with her phone. "B-but… I'm late."

"… Y-yeah… I guess… keep in touch by phone?"

"Of course…" Nina waved her hand, staring at the one who saved her with a warm glare. Deep inside she was hurting but for some reason she knew this had to happen. Lily was so pretty standing there, waving back. "T-thank you Lily…"

"Y-you're the best Nina!" Lily waved back with a good wave. "You do what you have to do and come back to me okay?"

"Thank you again!" Nina yelled back with a burst of loudness she wasn't used to, turning and holding her chest, her beating heart, tearing up as she walked away from Lily.

_It hurts so much…_

Lily gasped as she felt twisted inside as well, not knowing why she couldn't just throw away her lifestyle for this person. Almost all of her wanted to hold Nina. She wanted to kiss Nina. Wanted to tell her that she wanted her just as much as Nina did… why couldn't she do it? … Why couldn't she give it all away for her?

_**"Looks like someone's hot for teacher…"**_

_**" I… have to go…"**_

_**"Nina… come on! I was just kidding! I don't blame you!"**_

It was too late. Nina like always disappeared into the night, into the sea of people, leaving Lily there in an awkward isolation. Lily stood alone like she did in the ballet studio, a false smile on her face, wiping her eyes as she walked away.

_Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
Distracting…  
Reacting…_

_Against my will I stand beside my own reflection.  
It's haunting, how I can't seem…  
To find myself again...  
My walls are closing in…_

- B – B – B –

Lily landed with a large thud, the time between yesterday and tonight being a huge blur. She hazily glares up to see Thomas face blinking as she did. She sat up quickly, seeing all the ballerinas crowding around her, clapping for her and loudly cheering. She had just achieved what she worked so hard for. One night was all it took for all doubt to go away.

"How does perfection feel Lily?" Thomas offered her a hand, pulling up the White Swan as she was breathing heavily from a job well done.

"I think she was here…" Lily suddenly whispers, imagining and only thinking about one person as she tried to recall the performance. She was actually sitting there. Out in the crowd. Watching her. Eyes not looking away for even a second. Dressed in all black… rooting for Lily.

"Who was here?" Thomas blinked at her.

"Nina…" Lily smiled at the thought, looking at her peers as they all were cheering for her like when Nina performed. Thomas smirks to himself as he pushed her along to stage left.

"It's time for your bow Swan Queen… you did us all proud." Thomas waved them off. "Off with you! That is how we should do it every night!"

Lily was excited as she pranced out. The crowd erupts as Lily takes center stage, bowing to all who came to see her. She admires and hears the roars of the approving crowd, taking her bows while scanning the crowd carefully. Surely she remembered exactly where Nina was in relation to her performance. The third row two steps to the left stairway. She glances there expecting to see her. That pretty face cheering her on.

There is nothing but an empty seat.

The sounds of the crowd didn't seem so loud anymore. The appreciation was a bit more numbing.

… _It was almost perfect…_


	8. Act VII: Numb

**A/N: **Three things. 1) Thanks for all the support. 2) This chapter marks the final time this thing will be T rated. With the troubles last time I want to make sure you guys can read all of it right away. It will be M by tomorrow. WARNING: This chapter has somewhat disturbing parts. Rape. And screwiness. Skip if needed.

3) Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

* * *

**Act VII: Numb**

_~ It's a story about a princess… turned into a Swan… ~_

A casually dressed Lily drops her bags. She stares into the darkness of the theater. Not one soul seems to be in the crowd but not the same could be said about the stage. On stage she sees a figure dancing, almost like a porcelain figurine, hitting every ballet move as perfect and effortless as a virtuoso would. The stage spotlight shines only on her… meanwhile the darkness surrounding her like it wanted to engulf her. It was almost as if the dance was the only thing preventing it from doing so.

Nina was so beautiful.

Exactly like a Swan.

_What's she doing here?_

"Nina?" Lily shouted over the orchestral music, stepping near the stage. "What are you doing here?"

Surprisingly to Lily she's ignored like the cold air itself, the White Swan Queen so intense and concentrating she seemed to act as if her friend was invisible. Nina's hands brush against her own face in a dancer's pose, striking a perfect fifth position into a _pas de Poisson. _Her motions were so beautiful. So tragic. Those dramatic moves spoke to Lily in a language only a dancer would understand. Her face was delicate like the role called… begging for someone to save her.

"Nina!" Lily walked towards her with more grit, standing in front of her. "Why are you ignoring me?"

The music suddenly stops, Nina stumbling into a recovery as she is frightened by the interruption, staring at Lily almost like she never met her before, horrified. She winces, lowering her head and begins to cry. The spot light begins to fade on the stage.

"Nina why are you crying?" Lily frowned. "It's going to be okay…"

"I-I… just want to dance." Nina whimpered weakly, hiding her face ashamed. "W-why won't you let me dance?"

"Huh?" Lily was confused, trying to reach out to her but Nina backs away shyly. "I am not trying to take anything away from you. I'm just worried. You're not supposed to be here right?"

"You're lying to me my prince…" Nina cried with a weak sniffle. "Why won't you save me?" She backs away with graceful toes but a timid body, arms outstretched like a Swan's wings. "Am I not good enough for you?"

_~ The curse can only be broken by a prince with a true heart… ~_

"No… it's not you!" Lily pleaded with passion, trying to piece together what she meant but it all was so confusing. Thoughts of their relationship tore into Lily's mind. "Nina… I told you why I can't do what you want me to do!"

"You… never said why… you can't tell me the truth." Nina began to heavily sob, her legs suddenly giving out the ballerina crashing to the floor in a harsh slam. "The pain. Is the only way to be free… to die?"

"NINA!" Lily tried to pull her up by a shaky hand but suddenly the stage lights went totally off, darkness engulfing the entire area like a plague. From above she swears she hears a flapping of wings, Lily barely able to make out what happened as Nina was taken away like a piece of meat, shooting off into the backstage in a horrible scream. A creature took her… a flying creature.

"No!" Lily took off after Nina in a frantic shout and scramble, not worried for her own safety as she bolted towards the backstage. A strange red hue blankets the hallway as if the curtains were alive, doors shutting across the entire hallway seemingly all by themselves. She hears birds. She hears screeches. She then hears Nina's voice calling out from one of the rooms.

_Lily…_

_H-help me…_

"Nina! Where are you damn it!" Lily yelled out to her friend but got such weak replies it was hard to gauge a source. Trying to find her by kicking the moving doors, she searched in all the empty dressing rooms of the theater… all except one.

"I'm here!"

Lily heard the surprisingly stronger voice coming from the Swan Queen's dressing room, barreling in to see Nina standing there looking straight at her in a strong stand. Something was off. She seemed so snug, somehow dressed in a jet black dress hugging her figure and curves perfectly.

"Nina…" Lily suddenly felt the door shut behind her by itself, turning back startled. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry I worried you… I'm just being stupid Lily." Nina incredibly shrugged off the past few minutes like it was nothing, walking forward with powerful steps but gently pressed her body into Lily's. She guided them both into the door, smashing it tight, the warmth and softness of their bodies cushioning one another so perfectly. Lily was even more taken back now beyond the physical touch, looking into Nina's suggestive gazes with such confusion.

"What is going on with you today?"

"I've just been thinking how silly I can be…" Soon Lily felt Nina's hands explore all over her sexual body, taking off her scarf, then her jacket, getting to the shirt, pulling it off almost in a tearing manner.

"Screw trying to be a couple." Nina spat fiendishly, trying to get Lily's clothes off as quickly as possible. "Let's just screw… who needs all that silly shit?"

"Silly shit? But t-this… doesn't sound like you…" Lily tried to compose herself as the sensation of Nina running a tongue up her neck and across her face dampened her efforts. She tried to control Nina's posture but her shirt was on the floor without her noticing, Nina now working on her pants, starting with her belt.

"Of course it's me Lily." Nina grinned mischievously as she kissed Lily's cheek. "A smarter me…" Lily's pants were pulled down in a split second, the gorgeous ballerina in only her black lingerie, straps and garters across those smooth thighs.

"Nina, are you sure?" Lily felt bad inside in her brooding thoughts. Her mind kept telling her to let Nina push this. Her heart was telling her to stop this. Her struggle leaned towards the prior as she began to see Nina strip her own clothes off. She was so sexual, unlike the Nina of the past. She was pulling off her dress like a nymph needing skin to skin contact, leaving only the bottom half barely on as she gave Lily a look of yearning and lust. That lean body was so tempting… so succulent...

"Let's fuck… now."

_What the hell is going on?_

Lily shook her head as she felt Nina grind up on her, trying to push their mouths in a kiss. Lily's panties pushed to the side as Nina was rubbing out her crotch harshly, the usually darker of the two trying to suppress her own moans. Underneath her waist it was like a burning sensation of pleasure but as much as she wanted it, Lily knew something was dead wrong. Her assumption was true.

She glances over at the mirror on the side as Nina was working on that neck with curious teeth. Biting her so hard it was… making her wince.

"Y-you're not… Nina…" Lily saw the truth in the mirror. A horrific truth staring right back at her with a snug grin.

"Can't fool you huh smart ass?" A darker version of herself with black eyes chuckled, Lily whipping her head back only to be confronted by Nina's face again.

"What the fuck are you and where is Nina?" Lily demanded as she held this imposter at bay, no longer fooled by this ruse.

"One, I'm all you need and two, Nina is probably somewhere crying like the little weak bitch she is." The dark soul laughed, letting her hands reach around Lily, undoing the bra with ease, those firm breasts now in perfect view. "Now let's get started baby…"

"No!" Lily suddenly backhanded the fake image with a firm fist, making its head snap to the side violently. With its head still to the side the imposter only began laughing maniacally, slowly gleaming as it turned that glare back, blood running down its lips.

"You always did like it rough." Nina's projection replied by swinging at Lily's face nearly flooring her, a fist catching Lily's cheekbone, making a popping noise. Lily felt like she was hit by a bus, hitting the makeup table, spitting out her own blood now. The dark Nina got behind her cupping her breasts as Lily struggled to free herself.

"Stop this!"

"Oh but my prince but we're going to have so much fun…." Nina whispers as she finally got her hands on Lily's bare breasts, squeezing them against Lily's will. The darker haired ballerina moaned but had a struggling scowl the whole time.

"You can't do this to me!" Lily suddenly shoved her legs into the wall, slamming Nina's back against the mirror, making the creature shiver out in pain. Lily turned grabbing the monster by her throat. "Where the hell is Nina!"

"Hah! Why? Do you think you can save her?" The face shifted back to a doppelganger of Lily, smirking as eerily like Satan himself. "I know you better than anyone. You can't do shit because you're weaker than she is!"

"Just answer the question!" Lily tried to shut the voice with her grip but it wasn't working.

"Nina just needs to stop being confused. You, her lovely prince? Hah! You're just a fuck toy like to all you've slept with." The dark Lily sneered with a bitchy hiss, having all of Lily's mannerisms pushed to the extreme. "Hello bitch? You don't have a cock. You can't be her prince!"

"SHUT UP!"

"You know? Maybe all she needs is a little deep dicking from Thomas and she'll be all better."

"Fuck you!" Lily swung her hands at the darker image only to have them caught with no effort.

"Aw, poor Lily! Got her poor feelings hurt?" The face shifted back to the Black Swan that was Nina, suddenly twisting Lily's limbs so she was forced to spin, giving Nina her back. Lily winced as she tried to pull out to no avail. "Why don't you just pop some pills? Get some alcohol in your body? Get numb! Hide from your feelings you weak piece of shit!"

"Y-you don't know me!" Lily shook, trying to turn back desperately.

"Can't take the truth can you?" Nina shoved Lily against the wall so hard it cracked her shoulder making her cry out in pain, suddenly her hands going into Lily's panties, pressing two fingers deep into her most sacred area, making her now yell out in the most sadistic pleasure. "Just enjoy being fucked Lily. Just keep feeling good! Don't need to deal with anything as long as you're in euphoria!"

"Ungh s-stop it! Please! OH!" Nina's fingers kept working in and out of Lily's pussy against her will, the moans coming out not as pleasurable as it was painful. She was being raped. She was being taken advantage of. Lily's worst nightmare.

"Still lying to yourself? You love this you little whore. You slut! You're good at this! That's why everyone 'likes' you!" The dark seed sped up her fingering, working the vaginal walls aggressively, making Lily's insides melt, the juices beginning to flow out. "Everyone loves Lily. She's the town slut!"

"Angh!"

_LILY HELP ME!_

"N-nina…" Lily felt the fingers finally leave, the pleasure and pain stopping abruptly. She tried to catch her breath, slumping over to the wall as the violation sapped all the energy out of her. It was killing her, hearing the real Nina's voice cry out for help and she was helpless to do anything. How could she just take this sexual abuse? She was pissed of the pleasure was intoxicating her! The rape couldn't have been more embarrassing…

"You look so strong but you're pathetic just like her." Nina spun a weak Lily around, touching that face with the moist and pungent fingers that had just violated her, laughing so mockingly. "Inside this little skanky hot body? You're ugly just like her!"

"I'm going to g-get you! You hear me?" Lily tried to valiantly fight back but her strength was completely gone, trying to swat at the dark Nina now to little damage.

"You still have a lot of fake fight in you I see." Nina smiled as she took the hits to the face ignoring it like they were nothing. She now held Lily by her slender waist, grinning eil as their half-naked bodies touched, abs against abs, perky chest against chest. Lily's eyes grew horrified as for some reason she began to feel something penetrating inside her. It felt like…

"Maybe you need a deep dicking to put _you_ in your place." The face kept flashing between Lily and Nina, the dark entity began thrusting back and forth harshly, driving its rod into Lily's pussy with reckless abandon. Lily couldn't believe her body was freezing up, taking this, her legs spread like she was begging for it. She moaned ashamed. She winced disappointed. The pleasure was so good and numbing now. Her insides felt like it was melting with confusing sensations.

"LILY HELP ME!"

She did nothing with the White Swan's pleas. Lily moaned so weak and pathetic, bucking against the wall each time the cock was driven into her. Her hands pressed against the door, her eyes closed shut. She was helpless.

"You can't help someone when you can't even help yourself…" Nina groaned as she was fucking Lily, raping her tight cunt with every shove of her hips.

Lily turned to the side to see her finally. The Nina dressed in all white, staring at her being violated by the monster that was herself. Her eyes had so much pain. So much sorrow. Like she was betrayed. She doesn't say a word picking up a shattered piece of glass pressing it against her neck…

"God damn it!"

The white of the costume turned red so fast…

"NINA NO!" Lily cried out as she gasped into the air with such anger but feebleness. Tears began running down her eyes.

"Oh don't worry baby… you'll be joining her soon!" Nina gave one last hard thrust, hitting Lily so deep inside her pussy, hitting the spot.

"Argh!" Lily clenched her wrenching body, an orgasm of the most powerful yet disgusted sensations hitting her in a primal yell. The juices spilled out of their dirty deed, the Nina that wasn't pulling away shamelessly, Lily falling to the floor in a weak slump, laying there with no motion. She walks over to the broken glass, taking her weapon of choice.

"You won't feel a thing Lily… death is numbing just like you like it…"

Nina's face shifted back to Lily one last time. The glass was in her hands and she cranked it back. Lily felt only the sharpest pain as it was driven into her abdomen.

Her dark self lied. It wasn't numbing at all.

- B – B – B –

"NO!"

Lily shot up from the ground she was laying on, screaming and panting like a lost child on the floor. She feels her entire body broken out in a sweat, eyes scanning her surroundings that were at the moment alien. She knows that she was wrong to assume that, the safety of her room now slowly bringing her to a calm breath. She feels a plastic object in her hand, pulling it up to her face. The source of her superficial misery.

"J-just a b-bad… trip…" Lily whispers in relief as she stared at the bag of mushrooms she had just purchased before she got home. She must have had either too much or…

_Come on… Lily feel numb. It feels good…_

"Fuck…" Lily angrily tossed the bad batch of drugs across the room, frustratingly sitting in the middle of her room in a cross legged manner.

_You're on my mind all the time now Nina… _

_It scares me…_

A dream about Swan Lake. A dream about Nina. A nightmare about herself. A vision of herself being raped by… God knows what.

Lily sighed as she put her damp face in her hands, frustrated and shaken up. She wasn't going to bullshit around with this. That was a nightmare that felt too real and too hurtful. Drugs or not it was tearing her mind inside. She was in a catch-22. Her body was so achy and sore that she had been increasing her narcotic usage. Now her head was in just as bad shape. How could one person do this to her? She promised… never to let this happen.

_Just calm down._

_Relax…_

Lily stood up, her entire body cracking, eliciting painful groans from her mouth. Every bruise, strain, and painful jolt could be felt on that dancer's body. She had been performing so well as the Swan Queen for the past month but at such a cost. Her body wasn't used to this toll. She wasn't used to the workload and her non-stop partying ways made it so that it was compiling up. She was kicking her body while it was down. The mind was going next…

The water hits her face, waking her up with a cold tingle down her cheeks. Lily stares at herself with a harsh glare, remembering the nightmare with a hauntingly accurate detail. She sees her face wanting to smile but it wasn't budging. She touches herself below the waist, almost in a protective manner. A violation in the mind almost felt like the real deal.

_You can't be her prince._

_You can't even help yourself._

"… W-what's happening to me? I know I can handle… this…"

_Nina's happening to me._

_I'm happening to me…_

- B – B – B -

The sun came down a few hours ago. As much as Lily wanted to sleep she couldn't. Whether it was the pain in her body or her confused head she had nowhere to turn to. She laid on the couch like dead weight, leaned back with her feet on the table, trying to relax. The smoke surrounding her from a bong session was just a reminder about how dependent she was on the high feelings. Not that it was getting her that high anyway… her body was too used to it.

On the television she watches closely, trying to forget herself for the moment. A DVD copy of the movie _Inception _was almost working.

"Maybe I should pay Leonardo to incept my head straight…" Lily mumbled as she watched the intense movie.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

"OPEN UP! THIS IS A STICK UP!"

"Gah!" Lily gasped wincing as she moved so quick her strained body not ready for it. She swore that should have been a line in the movie but she knew it was coming from outside her door.

"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST LILY!"

"YES MA'AM FOR BEING TOO HOT!"

"W-what the?" Lily scowled as she limped to the door, opening up to see some faces that nearly made her head explode.

"My favorite ballerina bitch!"

"Hello friend!"

Lily was suddenly engulfed by two dark haired brunettes in big hugs, snuggling their faces into her like puppies meeting their master. Lily was so surprised she couldn't even get a reply, the two girls clinging onto her body like a vice. The pain suddenly became secondary. These were good people.

"Mikaela… Faith…" Lily blinked. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"Dude once we heard you got the LEAD role in the big ballet company we just had to visit and watch you!" The one named Faith smirked happily, the beautiful yet dark looking girl stroking Lily's hair very caringly.

"So! Me and Faith decided to abandon ship back in San Fran for a bit. Finding an excuse to come out here to the Big Apple to see our hot momma do her thing!" Mikaela was just as beautiful, her short shirt showing off abs that anyone would be jealous of.

"I'm just so surprised… holy shit." Lily gasped, glancing at her two closest friends from the west coast, holding them back with a ginger hug.

Lily could only blink as they closed the door, walking around the place and analyzing her room like it was some sort of strange lab. With the collections of bongs and drug paraphernalia it kind of felt that way. Honestly, it was a walk-in Disneyland for these party girls. These were indeed her party people. The kind of girls she hung out with in the biggest party town there was San Franssico. They were all cut from the same mold like her. Beautiful. Feisty. Dark haired and dangerous…

"So how's the big time?" Faith began raiding the fridge, pulling out two beers of course without asking. "You two want anything?"

"No thanks…"

"Toss me one baby!" Mikaela commanded as a beer was caught and opened, and downed. "Come on Lily tell us. How you doing?"

"I… it's… a bit crazy." Lily was still trying to recover from her nightmare let alone this somewhat pleasant surprise. She sat down now, woozily, hiding her injuries that way.

"You bringing the California vibes to these New Yorkers?" Faith began taking off her jacket, showing off her vampire tattoo that seemed inspired more by Blade rather than Twilight.

"Of course she is!" Mikaela clapped. "Tearing up the tutu and getting some fufu right?"

"R-right…" Lily shook her head as she laughed, feeling familiar vibes hit her like she needed. It was nostalgic. It was a remembrance of a time where she was much more sure of herself. Was it exactly… better?

"You look a little down." Faith blinked almost worryingly. "This isn't the Lily we know!"

"You don't seem that happy to see us." Mikaela crossed her arms in a playful jab. "Maybe we shouldn't have surprised you like this.

"H-hey I am totally happy to see you guys." Lily didn't want them to get the wrong idea. "It's just I'm… exhausted."

"You tired?" Faith gasped at the blasphemy. "Our little Ms. Energizer bunny?"

"Lily, the girl that used to party all-nighters before her ballet shows is tired?" Mikaela joined in on the strange news.

"L-look… they play rough here." Lily shrugged innocently, glancing at them in all seriousness. "This real ballet isn't like home. You get your ass kicked here and I'm just barely hanging on."

"Aw that sounds horrible." Faith sipped on the beer, looking at her with not too much pity as if she was slightly intoxicated herself. "Say! I know what you need… are you thinking what I'm thinking Mik?"

"Hmmm… if you mean some hot New Yorker guys and babes then I think so."

"Right! Let's go out tonight! Get plastered and find ourselves some loving!"

"Ladies…" Lily looked at them both. "Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"I know once you get out there you'll be back to old Lily in no time." Faith crossed her arms. "Dude, your two best friends came out all the way from West Coast to see you for a few days. Don't leave us hanging!"

"We even got tickets to your next Swan Lake show…" Mikaela grinned so sexily if not effortlessly. "Can you introduce us to some of the boys? I keep noticing that their little ballet costumes leaves little to the imagination. Know what I'm saying?"

"Right…"

"Come on Lily! What the fuck! Where is our baby girl!" Faith groaned.

"She's tired…" Lily answered again.

"Then what are we going to do all night? Sit here? Get high and watch a cartoon like Family Guy?"

"Ew no… not Family Guy…" Lily shivered. "Horrible show. South Park is better." She shot back at her friends.

Mikaela and Faith glanced at each other in looks of disbelief. They both turned at Lily with now ashamed looks.

"Did we get the fucking right address?" Mikaela sighed.

"Where did Lily go?"

"Girls… please…"

"Okay that does it. Mik. Plan B." Faith suddenly sat next to Lily in a plopping landing, patting her thigh, the ballerina wincing inside but letting it slide as she stared at her. The brunette began stroking Lily's cheek and her hair, very sexually but in that very open friendly manner as well. "I didn't want to do this but if you don't get your ass up and get ready to take us out then prepare for the worst. We'll do it all night if we have to right Mik?"

"Right dear…"

"Y-you two wouldn't…"

"Hey Barbie!" Faith shouted at Mikaela.

"Hi Ken!"

"Oh no…"

"I'M A BARBIE GIRL IN A BARBIE WORLD!" Faith sang off key into Lily's ears, piercing those ear drums.

"I'm wrapped in plastic! It's fantastic!" Mikaela leapt onto the couch joining in on the horrible acapella, stroking Lily's cheek and pulling her into a joking stare.

"You can touch my hair! And touch me anywhe~re!" Faith pulled Lily to a stare back at her.

"Imagination! Life is your creation!"

"Come on Barbie let's go party!"

"Ah hah hah yeah!"

"Come on Barbie let's go party!"

"Oh oh oh! Oh oh oh!"

"GOD STOP! OKAY! Damn it!" Lily suddenly sat up in a furious shake of her two friends off, huffing as she tried to stay composed. That song got on her nerves more than anything in the world. "I'm going!" she stormed off into the bathroom.

"We love you Lily!" Faith and Mikaela shouted in unison, leaning together on the couch, another successful manipulation in their fingertips. A high five later and they showed their excitement quite subdued.

- B – B – B -

All three of them were dressed to kill, sporting dark club outfits that showed much more skin then the law should allow. With a slight adjustment of her short skirt, Lily tried to stay calm but entertaining as she did feel bad for her friends coming here to such a weak version of her. Faith and Mikaela were there when she developed into the party animal that Nina first met. The girl that was invincible. The girl that was irresistible to everyone. That girl was the one that Nina was so jealous of.

Where was she now?

She was expected to deliver her party self even if she knew she wasn't a one hundred percent.

"Okay girls, you know the two golden rules." Faith turned with a confident smirk as they were finally outside their destination.

"Keep your phone on you." Mikaela finished with a flick of her purse, turning to Lily.

"And B.Y.O.B." Lily finished for them like the old days.

"Bring your own boys…"

"Or bring your own bitches…"

"Woohoo! Alright! Come on girls! Let's get FUCKED UP!"

Lily nodded as she understood the ways of young beautiful and adventurous women. She was the epitome of one. They had a right to be excited. Club Afterlife was one of the most exclusive clubs in New York City located in the main strip in northern Time Square. In fact P-Diddy and Jay Z were constant guests here. Lily being the expert and beauty she was had gotten in a few times now, the two San Francisco girls quite impressed with the bouncer let them all in with a suggestive wink, the line outside totally bypassed.

Inside it was more like Hell than Heaven. Sinners ruled this roost. Visions of flashing lights and sexual beings awoken.

The smell of alcohol. The smell of sweat. The smell of sex.

The anthem playing over the DJ's PA said it all. The jungle beat set the tone for the club.

_When i walk in the club!  
All eyes on me!  
I'm with the party rock crew!  
All drinks are free!_

_We like ciroc!  
We love patron!  
We came to party rock!  
Everybody it's on!_

_Let's go!_

_Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!_

_EVERYBODY!_

"Ya'll heard Lil' John!" Faith had ordered all three of them the proverbial first shots, all three the tastiest looking Yagerbombs they had seen. Mikaela gladly took hers and squeals with excitement at the dark beverage, Lily grabbing her own shot glass and staring at it, a slight reflection of herself looking right back at her. Her two hot friends press their glasses together, waiting for Lily to join in on the toast of a sinful night. She reluctantly looks at the glass and then them and then back, swearing she's mouthing words at her own reflection.

_**Take another drink…**_

_**Just another sip…**_

"J-just one…" Lily pointed a finger as her two friends nodded; all of them downing the alcohol like it were the fluids of life.

For Lily it didn't even burn going down her throat, her body numbing instantly. She feels shamed but hides it. She smiles a fake smile as her two friends begin to do what they do best. These girls were in their natural habitat. Their jungle. They had the goods and everyone around them took notice. Lily usually ruled these parts. Tonight she couldn't push it to where she needed it to be.

Whether it was physical or mental?

She didn't know…

_The ladies love us  
When we pour shots  
They need an excuse  
To suck our cocks_

_We came to get crunk!  
How 'bout you?  
Bottoms up!  
Let's go round two!_

It was the usual night out after all as just one became another… and another. The night began to blur as she remembers a few things. She remembers seeing Faith leap on a table dancing for a group of lustful men that screamed pigs. She recalls Mikaela on the dance floor, making out with two girls and a guy, hands all over and exploring each other like curious little creatures. They haven't changed a bit.

For Lily she had just gotten out of the dance floor, the usual suspects getting on her. Over confident men and quite curious women. She for the first time in a long time was just a shield of denial. Her thoughts were messing with her usual swagger. Her body wasn't reacting the usual way. She'd probably have had many potential love making partners by now.

Lily glances over to the right as she exits the crowd. Her heart stops as well as her nerves. She sees the most beautiful image no more than fifteen feet away, dancing to the music, swaying so freely and… happily. She was dressed in all black, her skin glowing a nice light peach, grinding her back into a gentlemen that was as lucky as anyone could be. Her complexion was different. She was so radiant but it had to be her… it had to be Nina.

_She looks gorgeous…_

_It can't… be her though… is it?_

Lily felt time stand still as the music grew silent around her, everyone almost disappearing. She didn't think of anything else as she pushes through the dancing crowd. She walks back and tries to fight through the crowd, trying desperately to get to Nina. She reaches her destination… to no surprise finding nothing.

"I… I must be fucking going crazy…" Lily cursed, seeing just another pretty club goer doing the usual. She holds her head in a ginger step, pushing her way back out.

_** Be numb… it feels good…**_

- B – B – B -

"Can I get a shot of patron!" Lily yelled out to the bartender who obliges with a nod. In the quieter lounge area Lily could finally get a break for her legs and ears, taking a seat at the bar with a ginger slump. The most common thing of course happens. She feels a presence from behind staring at her, probably another guy wanting her number and her ass.

"I've met you before!" The voice shouts. "You're a ballerina!"

"That's nice!" Lily ignored the voice, not wanting to be bothered, grabbing her drink and paying for it.

"I think that's great."

"Oh really? You want to discuss plies and tutus?" Lily laughed mockingly to herself as she downed her drink. "I know you just want to fuck me. So why don't you just not waste time and-"

"Well, I can discuss those things if you like…" The voice paused for comedic timing. "Not the fucking by the way."

Lily stopped dead in her tracks again as the voice began to take shape in her mind. It was a voice she knew. A voice she trusted. She turned slowly, now seeing who she'd been talking with this whole time. She sees the girl. That same girl in the black dress. The one that looks just like her… she was real.

"Nina?"

"Lily. I can't believe I ran into you here." Nina smiled, waving gently with that delicate hand, a red cocktail in her other grasp.

"You're telling ME that?" Lily leaned back a bit buzzed but happy, looking Nina up and down and examining every detail of this beautiful being in front of her. It was Nina for sure but it wasn't the Nina she knew. The pale complexion was gone. The weakness seemed a faint memory. Her hair was loose and shiny. Her eyes looked so strong but the cuteness and the delicateness still had hints everywhere on that pretty face. Her body looked less frail… still lean but confident.

"Y-you look… so good…" Was about the most elegant thing Lily could muster.

"T-thanks…" Nina blushed, this being about the sexiest dress she had ever put on with a very revealing back. Lily of course took notice of this as well. "You look good too… b-but a little tired."

"Oh, I'm fine…" Lily smiled, once again hiding her pain behind beauty, a forced smile, and a skimpy dress. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Of course. As always…" Nina glanced down to the floor and back into Lily's eyes with a calm confidence that probably would've surprised them both. Neither of them had an inkling of an idea of how this meeting was going to go. It was exciting but frightening.

"So h-how have you been?" Lily slightly slurred, just admiring this transformation that had taken place in so little time with confusion and admiration. "I haven't seen you in a month. You look like you're doing so good! I barely recognize you."

"I've been doing a lot Lily, doing what I said I would do the last time I saw you." Nina smirked, taking a sip of her drink. Lily only glanced at the drink as Nina did so, the girl shaking her head as if she was being accused of something. "It's a vodka cranberry… without the vodka…"

"Non-alcoholic…"

"Y-yes my psychiatrist says I shouldn't be drinking." Nina laughed.

"You bet your ass you shouldn't be drinking!" Some blonde babe yelled out as she grabbed Nina from behind, hugging around her thin waist.

"W-who's that?" Lily almost scowled in jealousy.

"O-oh… this is my psychiatrist Harley." Nina rolled her eyes as clearly there was a double standard here. The Doctor was dressed like any scandalous girl here with red and black, probably with more make up then a clown would wear. She was quite buddy buddy with her own patient. Not exactly professional…

"Y-yes you make sure she don't drink!" Harley downed her own shot, pointing at Lily. "T-this Nina… she's such a joker!" The blonde suddenly flailed away into another man's arms, flowing back into the dance floor area.

"Y-you partying with your psychiatrist?" Lily blinked. "That's your healing process?"

"I know I need more friends." Nina laughed as she watched Harley get dragged out to the dance floor. "Actually, she was invited… we have mutual friends believe it or not."

"Mutual friends?"

"Yes. My hip hop class, I've made friends with a few of the girls in the class."

"TWINKLE TOES SAYERS! GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" A drunk brunette yelled out on cue as she was grinding up on a birthday crowd of girls.

"T-twinkle toes?" Lily asked with a skew.

"Y-yeah it was that or ballet butt…" Nina groaned, shouting back. "Helena! I'm tired! I have to leave soon!"

"Come on! Plie over here and make out with me!" The girl apparently named Helena screamed back. "Don't you party poop you little ballerina bozo!"

"S-she's the birthday girl that forced me out tonight." Nina turned back to Lily, ignoring her drunk friend with a sigh. "I'd probably be asleep in bed by now getting ready for counseling and then dance class."

"You're in a Hip hop dance class?" Lily was still stuck a few statements, just shaking her head. "Y-you really are… changing…"

"I guess so…" Nina had a smile that could bring the house down it looked so beautiful. "So, how's the production? I hear rave reviews from my mother…"

"I'm trying my best." Lily said calmly, if not wanting to just stop with the compliments. "… It's tougher than I thought but the results are amazing. I've never felt so…"

"Accomplished… right?"

"Y-yes… it's very…"

"Addictive… yes…"

_Addiction…_

"Hey Nina! Come on! We're gonna toast the b-day girl!" A blonde yelled out of nowhere, coming over to and grabbing her arm.

"Dinah! I see well let me say bye to my friend here." Nina was being pulled against her will, pleading for her to stop with just her eyes. "I'm going to leave right after this so-"

"We have no time! Come on tell this hot babe to come too!" Dinah kept pulling Nina who held her spot.

"H-hey Nina I'll um… catch up with you later… you seem busy." Lily felt like some sort of third wheel. She didn't know these new friends Nina had. It was just too strange. She was becoming a normal… girl.

"W-why don't you come with me?" Nina smiled in a pleasant way. "Come on!"

"I… I have to get back to my friends from So Cal. I worry they might be getting into too much trouble." Lily said with a painful quip. "They came out to visit me and I feel like I'm responsible for them.

"Oh, alright…" Nina put her drink down on the bar reluctantly, glancing at Lily with a ginger stare and then back at her blonde friend. "It's so good to see you Lily…"

"Same to you… Nina."

"I… actually have to tell you something um… I guess I'll text you tomorrow okay?"

"Sure… keep in touch." Lily smiled firmly, waving.

"Alright! Bye! Bye! Now come on!" Dinah dragged Nina away again.

Lily just watched as the new Nina Sayers left her presence, both of them locking eyes as they separated. She couldn't believe what just happened in the past few minutes. It was like watching a ghost get a new body. Or someone go through a glorious transformation. She's becoming someone that she was comfortable with. Maybe it was better that Nina was separated from her past. Including Lily…

It really seemed that way.

_Maybe you don't need me like you said. _

_I'm so proud of you Nina…_

- B – B – B –

With eyes closed Lily was fast asleep. Her body couldn't take it anymore. She knew she'd regret last night and she was paying for it. The relaxed state of sleeping usually isn't a handicap. She had a big problem though.

She was at ballet practice.

"LILY!" Thomas yelled out.

"Plie!" Lily suddenly blurted out in a spastic reply as she stormed back from her slobbering sleep, Terry's shoulder actually being her bed. The ballerinas around her laughed as she shook her head, trying to slap herself awake. Terry gave her a look of apologize, trying to hide her as she napped to a failed attempt.

"Having too much of a good time being the Swan Queen it seems?" Thomas held his head, saying a few insulting things in French.

"N-no just resting my eyes." Lily groaned in reply.

"Well it's your turn. White Swan variation now!"

Lily muttered her own English curses as she stepped up into the center of the room, the piano player went off on his Swan Lake scale and Lily blasted off with it. This was Lily now. No matter how tired. No matter how much pain she was in… no matter how hung over she was? This was Lily at the moment. Someone that was taking this job seriously. Someone that was pushing herself to the limits. Someone that was considered greatness.

Lily knew where it came from. She had been inspired. She didn't want to fail _her_. With Veronica dancing so well it was like a constant race of protecting this role.

_This is for Nina…_

Suddenly the entrance door opens, Lily wincing as she saw it blast wide with a loud boom, twisting her footing and collapsing on the mat. She was flat on her face now, groaning as the entire room gasped and went into silence. A clap comes from Thomas as he walks towards the door.

"Ladies and gentlemen we all know that Gail just went down with an injury and we needed a replacement."

Lily slowly looked up weakly, seeing a familiar face and smile close in on her.

"Need a hand?"

"N-nina…?"

The all black leotard with a matching scarf flowed as she extended her hand, Lily taking it and pulling herself to her feet. Nina smiles gingerly and admiringly at Lily as the two share the same awkward stare as different as they had become. Some things would never change.

"The production has Nina Sayers back as a backing role. She's a little late but I think we can forgive her."

"A little late?" Veronica stares confused as the other ballerinas began to clap happily, seeing this new Nina Sayers in their presence. Lily couldn't believe it, just staring dumbly at Nina as the former Swan Queen waved at her old peers. She turned her attentions back to the current Swan Queen.

"Sorry I made you fall coming in late." Nina whispers with a smirk. "Guess we're even?"

"… Guess so…"

"Nina do you need to warm up?"

After months of no ballet?

"… No I'm fine." Nina dropped her bags to the side, walking with a confident strut. "Continue Thomas."

It was too much. Nina Sayers back in the production? Lily swore she should have had some mushrooms this morning. This was insanity.

A new Nina was here…


	9. Act VIII: Encore

**Act VIII: Encore**

_*Click*_

_*Click*_

_*Record*_

_Lily: Shit, is this thing on…?_

_**The video camera shows a close up of Lily's puzzled yet cute face, big eyes looking curiously at the lens. The not so technologically sound girl gasps, nodding happily at a revelation.**_

_Lily: Oh yes! It's on! Alright! We're in business!_

_**She pans the camera back to show her from the chest up, looking so snug and in her casual wear. Behind her is the makeup room.**_

_Lily: Okay this is going on Facebook and Twitter right? Hmm, what to talk about? Oh! First I want to thank sis for buying me this sweet ass camera. You're a babe! I'm doing videos for you especially darling! *She blows a kiss* Huh, well I guess I'll start all boring like video blogs. It's been my fifth day in New York and let me tell you, it's pretty far out there. It's freezing cold outside. The weed sucks. And-_

_Veronica: Whiner… *She walks behind Lily quite timely*_

_Lily: And that's Veronica… the big bucket of joy around these parts. *She skews a bit only to bring back her gorgeous smile, grabbing the camera and turning it as her moment was spoiled.* Well I guess then let's just give you guys a quick tour of the ballet big time._

_*She steps back*_

_Lily: Here's my makeup and dressing station. Isn't that cool? I actually have my own make up station. *The camera captures the bulb lit up mirror, Lily and the camera being reflected back* Oh and here comes more of my fellow dancers… what's up girls?_

_**Gailana, Madeline, and a few other ballerinas walk in, waving at the camera.**_

_Lily: Girls say something to my internet people! *She grabbed the camera and panned it towards the girls*_

_Gailana: Oh God! I'm gonna be online! *She jumped up* Madeline what do I say?_

_Madeline: How about… I'm a spaz? _

_Gailana: Damn, you're always so mean to me!_

_Madeline: It's too easy…_

_Lily: *the camera comes back to her* As you can see, nothing but the nicest girls at Thomas Leroy's production. Just like home… *She shakes her head with a deadpan face to secure the sarcasm*_

_- footage break –_

_**The camera comes back bouncing as Lily was hand holding the camera, walking around the Lincoln premises.**_

_Lily: And here's the backstage area where we are going to do our show. Oh! And of course look who the devil brings in. *The office door opens and a busy Thomas Leroy steps out seeing the camera with a big confused face*_

_Thomas: Lily, what are you doing?_

_Lily: Filming you for my internet purposes… say something in French that's funny._

_Thomas: I certainly will not. Don't you have some warming up to do?_

_Lily: Oh come on sir, you know me. I don't warm up. *She closed in on his cutely frustrated face as he says that.* Say there's a rumor going around that anyone who buys you free food? You'll let them leave practice early._

_Thomas: W-what?_

_Lily: So what do you Frenchies like? *Thomas seemed half amused* Oh! You like baguettes with that stinky cheese right? Some crepes? Some croissants? Some… specific… pie? _

_Thomas: Lily, I'm busy… now if you excuse me. *After a confused look, he walks off frame with a quick pace.* Get to work!_

_Lily: So, there's our lovely choreographer Thomas Leroy. *She pans the camera back, extremely close to her face.* A lot to look at. Not much of a warm teddy bear… Huh, that sounds kind of a lot like me… How creepy is that?_

_- footage break –_

_*The camera is in a high angle as Lily is holding it awkwardly standing in front of a mirror, looking at it from below. Georgina is at her side, using her measuring tape to get the girl's body ready for dress up*_

_Lily: And here's the place where we get fitted for costumes. Or basically where Georgina here tells me how fat I am._

_Georgina: Why you pretty little modest twig… *She wrapped a tape around her arm* You are going to look wonderful._

_Lily: And that's why kids? She's my favorite person in the world… *She winks towards Georgina as she calmly bobs her head in the mirror.*_

_Georgina: Alright Lily dear I believe… you are done._

_Lily: Thanks G.*She spins the camera noticing from the side, catching a certain girl that was entering the premises. She looked so tense as she walks by, Lily instantly drawn in that direction like a magnet.* Oh my God Nina! Wait! Stop!_

_Nina: *She turns to the camera surprised she almost jumps, blinking as she seemed to want to walk away as quickly as possible.*_

_Lily: Ladies and gentlemen, this is our Swan Queen! Our lead girl Nina Sayers! Say a few words to the camera!_

_Nina: Heh-… heh… hi…. *she says meekly, waving with the camera right in her face.*_

_Lily: She's amazing folks you must see her perform… She's going to kill it on stage._

_Nina: I uh… Thank you Lily… *she looked around, not really anywhere in particular.* Um… I… I have to go._

_Lily: Oh come on! You're the star! Give me some more time!_

_Nina: Thomas… will not be happy… um… sorry. *She bashfully walks off camera and into the room, the camera turning back to Lily as a bit of silence occurs. Lily just looks off camera probably tracking Nina for a little bit, turning back to the viewfinder slowly.*_

_Lily: A little uptight girl but cute. No? *she looks into the camera with a whisper. A friendly sigh came after.* … Yes… I check out the ballerinas… too._

_- footage break –_

_*Film of the actual Swan Lake dress rehearsal happens behind Lily with the whole light show. She's staring into a mirror, the camera right in front of her, one eye only being in frame. Behind her the White Swan herself was dancing, captivating everyone including her… that one visibile eye peaking to Nina's every move.*_

_Lily: She's pretty good… and uh… she's pretty… um… pretty too? … *She continues to stare in silence* Hmm, someone just needs to get that stick out of her-_

_Thomas: LILY! What are you doing! You're up!_

_Lily: S-shit... I am in trouble. Bye! *She giggles as she was caught, turning off her camera*_

_- End Feed -_

- B – B – B –

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

A gentle smile comes on tender lips as Lily turns her camera back to recording mode, sitting in the far corner of the room. Watching those images of the people on that camera was like opening an eye to a past almost forgotten. Everything was so fresh and new back then. The excitement of coming to New York for the first time was something she'd never forget. That was a time when Lily was still… Lily back then. And Nina was…

"Not exactly… like this…" Lily sat back, tracking with her camera as she knew Nina would probably want to see this. Her first ever dance practice back after the long layoff.

The whole practice room had silent voyeuristic vibe to the whole situation. It was like watching a ghost dance when Nina would come by with a signature spin or ballet technique.

Unlike before she's dancing in a four girl group, being posted back into her old usual role. She steals the show though effortlessly nonetheless, hitting her ballet steps that were just sharper and more refined than the girls around her. Dressed in black against a white ensemble she danced to kill. Even after all this time… Nina was ahead of everyone when it came to precision. She was a machine. She was relentless. Those toes kept moving like there was no tomorrow.

_And you might be even… better than before._

"Stop!" Thomas gives a frustrated sigh as he walks to center stage. "Amazing Nina, Madeline, Sarah, but I only have one problem." He turns to the youngest girl in the group. "Lynn you keep making the mistake after the fourth movement. There's two steps missing. How many times have we gone over this?"

"S-sorry Thomas… I just-"

"No more excuses. We've had enough of them from you!" Thomas pointed at her. "I want that fixed. No more words!"

"Y-y-yes Thomas…" Lynn whimpers to herself, clearly flustered and red. She walks behind the line, just shakily closing her eyes as if she wanted to cry. Lily felt so bad as she wanted to turn off the camera, but suddenly she sees Nina take a step forward.

"Thomas, can I speak to Lynn for a second if you please?"

Thomas turns his head back. "About…?"

"Just some ballet strategies. I was your assistant before wasn't I?"

Everyone was just staring as the voice coming out of Nina was still delicate but had some… back bone to it. She probably never spoke to Thomas exactly this way and because of it their choreographer was a bit taken back. He gives a wave of his hand letting Nina do her thing. With that Nina walks over to Lynn, calmly speaking to her. Lily watches closely in admiration as Nina was explaining with a smile and thorough explanation.

Lynn breaks out in a giggle suddenly as she nods, suddenly all relaxed. The youngest one bowed her head to Nina in appreciation as the old Swan Queen walks back to center position.

"We are good to continue Thomas…"

Lily keeps her eyes on Nina, acting like a teacher, acting like a protector. Watching her just help a struggling ballerina out was a sight to see. She hadn't seen that type of kindness in very many around these parts let alone selfless leadership. It was just too ruthless of a business to do so. Nina could tell Lily was surprised just like the rest, looking at her and giving a friendly wave. She was so comfortable…

"Maestro. Continue…"

_I like this… Nina…_

_But… is she even… Nina anymore?_

- B - B - B –

_Can't you see that you're smothering me?  
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control  
Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you_

"Lily! Black Swan variation now!"

Lily nodded as she walked out of the corner of the room, stepping gingerly towards center as Nina was knelt over against the wall like any other dancer in the premises. There was nowhere to hide when you were the Swan Queen. All eyes were always on you. Waiting for you to fail… waiting for you to make that one mistake. Nina of course was crossing her fingers figuratively watching only to root for Lily.

Lily gets into position, taking a peak over at Nina who is looking at her with reassurance. It was still a shock as she tried to shrug it off.

"You are a natural Lily! Go!"

Even with all the pain the way Lily danced the Black Swan was still as natural as could be. A few steps right on the button, the other steps flowed with reckless abandon. The loose cannon that was the Black Swan needed the madness. She spins like a spider coiling a web, unleashing her legs in a whipping motion as she goes into a striking seductive pose. Nina is clutching her chest, feeling every movement, Lily actually taking a peak over from time to time.

But as Lily was quite on outside. Inside, it was just different with Nina watching. The previous Swan Queen. Her best friend here. Her old… potential lover… staring at her was making her have a heightened sense of pressure. This was such an alien feeling… such a strange feeling.

_Why am I the lead still?_

_This is… Nina's part…_

_I can't…_

A body on the teetering edge of pain couldn't afford a misstep…

"Angh!" Lily winced as she knew something was off in her landing, feeling her right leg shoot up a sting from her thigh to her stomach. She stumbles against the wall, holding on tight as everyone gasped. Nina quickly popped up, slowly walking over with a concerned breath.

"Lily are you alright?" Thomas called out.

"I-I'm fine!" Lily tried to shake it off, holding her leg and rubbing it.

"No you're not Lily…" Nina got up to her, trying to help her by holding her up. "Let me get you to the back."

"No. I'm good… I'm good…" Lily begged Nina not to help as she tried to walk it off, getting out of Nina's hands.

"W-what's wrong? Just take a-"

"Thomas can I go to the dressing room for a second?" Lily turned with a grimace but stood strong, ignoring the pain. "I just need to get some tape."

Thomas stared at Lily, almost analyzing her façade like a wounded animal. He thinks better than to stop the good practice and waves his hand. "Go ahead. We'll continue without you for the moment. Ben and Frank, we need to practice the last lifts."

"Lily you are hurt. You can't fool me." Nina whispers almost angrily, touching her leg, and getting a stinging gasp from Lily.

"S-stop worrying…" Lily answered simply as they looked at one another not knowing where they stood or what their relationship was anymore. The pause gave way to a break as Lily walked off towards the dressing room, hiding the gimp in her step.

Nina just watched on, feeling her heart just want to pop out of its chest. As strong as she looked. As strong as she was. There was still a weakness inside that was too much to bear. Lily…

Seeing Lily hurt was hurting her.

- B – B – B -

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

The door to the bathroom shoots open, Lily wanting to cry out as her leg felt like it was torn up. She leaned against the sink, clutching and trying to rub out the pain with one hand. The other one digs through her purse trying to find the source of her inner strength. The almighty pill… the pain killers… the numb feeling she loves so much.

_Pop another pill… just one more…_

Lily stares at herself in the mirror. Barely recognizing herself as she looked so pathetic with the Vicodin in her hands. She tries to remember that same carefree girl that walked into this place long ago, a distant memory. A worthless memory. She uncaps the bottle and pours a few pills in her hands. She'd been taking so much lately it was scaring her but it was necessary.

This wasn't Lily.

When did this all get so extreme?

… When she started dancing for Nina?

_Oh stop making excuses. You just want the spotlight. It feels good when everyone kisses your ass So good you're addicted… just like anything else._

"N-no… it's not that…" Lily looked up to see that image that wasn't herself smiling evilly, sitting on the sink's reflection, the mirror self, showing off her naked back with the wings.

_Stop messing around and take the pills. You can do it… We can't disappoint Nina out there right? Hah… the less we feel. The better._

The pain was unbearable…

The pills looked like the only way out.

Lily gasps as she sees the mirror reflection's door bounce open, but nothing in her side happening. She watches speechless and frozen, a ball in her throat pulsing painfully as the image of Nina and Thomas making out against the bathroom wall was scorching fire into her eyes. The Lily on the other side watches happily, waving her legs. Thomas was undressing Nina, the newly darker vixen staring back at the real Lily with a suggestive stare, smiling the whole time as she was being touched so tauntingly.

_You don't want her and she's so happy now. She's so sexy now. Thomas is going to be so happy with her. It's all thanks to you Lily. Now she doesn't need you anymore. She can get whoever she likes…_

"I… why is this happening… I don't care!" Lily keeps peaking back towards the bathroom wall and then back to the real reflection seeing nothing. She wants to not believe that image. She clutches at her own skin wanting to tear it up, the mirror reflection of herself pissing her off to no end. She felt like she was going crazy. She felt like exploding in fury at the sight of Thomas and Nina making love right in front of her.

This is what Nina probably felt as the pressure caved in around her. Her reflection kept laughing at her as she wanted to crumple down, holding on desperately onto the sink with every bit of strength she had. It was a horrible realization but Lily wasn't handling the pressure much better. All that strength and confidence… was it even real?

She wanted to just...

_** "Thank you Lily..."**_

_** "I don't want to be you… I want to be with you.**_

_** "I know now that I am not alone anymore…"**_

"N-not… alone…" Lily heard the true voice of Nina shoot into her mind like someone was coming to her aid, making her breath slowly. She looks up towards her reflection slowly, the dark side looking back all snug.

_Come on take the pill… who needs to feel?_

"I'm done with you…" Lily scowled, raising her hand up, giving the image the middle finger. "… I don't need this. Nina may have fallen to this but unlike her I have someone watching my back. Her!"

_YOU WON'T LAST! YOU'RE WEAK! YOU FAKE! YOU LIAR! YOU WANT TO HELP NINA BUT YOU'RE HURTING HER!_

The darker image growls at Lily's defiance wanting to pounce on her but Lily turns away with the strength she remember she had. She puts the pills back into the bottle and tosses it at the wall. "I don't care what you say. I'm… better than this…"

The furious image seemed to lose its steam as it suddenly vanished. Lily smirked at the thought of pissing 'herself' off, chuckling almost. She slumped against the wall, the pain in her body wanting to just shut down right now. She felt so woozy, so tired of this. Where did she go? Where was the Lily she knew?

She wondered even so how great that Lily was in the first place…

"Lily! Oh my God!" Nina ran over to her, watching her sitting on the floor, holding her leg in pain.

"Nina…" Lily looked up weakly, smiling.

"Why didn't you just let me help you?" Nina knelt over, gingerly stroking Lily's head as she saw the bottle next to her, picking it up. "Pain killers… w-why…. Lily you are hurting badly! Why are you just ignoring this?"

"…"

"Come on! Let's get you to the dressing room." Nina aided Lily to her feet supporting her as they both stumbled out of the bathroom.

- B - B - B -

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you…  
Every second I waste is more than I can take.  
I... I feel so numb..._

It was all quiet around her in blank isolation. Lily sat in her chair, feeling like the room was almost watching her reflecting. There were hot/cold packets across her legs, the girl seated those dancer limbs on the chair for circulation. Beaten up. Run down. And exhausted. Lily was confused. The impossible had happened. For the infallible Lily was slowing down. It was like things were moving too quickly. Life in the fast lane was something she was supposed to be used to. But being both… the Lily she was… and this new… almost Nina like… dancer. It was apparently too much.

"I told Thomas that you need a break." Nina walked into the room, closing the door behind them with a reassured nod.

"Let me guess Veronica is probably throwing a party…"

"She's taking over for today yes." Nina sat down next to her, kneeling on the floor almost. "What did the doctor say?"

"Bruises and a minor strain… just a lot of them… I landed wrong and it aggravated it all at once… I should be fine by tomorrow." Lily moved the packs around, only to feel Nina's hand touching her thigh, and moving the muscles gingerly. "A-ah… fuck… it hurts… b-but it…"

"Feels good. I know…" Nina caringly rubbed Lily's thigh, the two looking at one another with a bashful stare. Physical touch always brought that about. The silence now could suffocate anyone as Lily just closed her eyes, trying to control the sensations of pain and the wonderous massage she was getting.

She had to speak either way.

"I… ungh… want to ask who you are." Lily looked at this newer Nina from above. "But… I don't think I'm in a position to ask anyone that."

Nina kept focused on Lily's body, pushing into the tender tissue slightly stronger, eliciting pleasurable and painful groans of Lily that made her put her head back. "Why are you pushing yourself so hard Lily? Y-you're the one that told me to relax. This isn't like you at all."

Lily looked away, thinking for a few seconds before returning. "Because I thought that was what you wanted."

"… What I wanted?"

"This role is yours. I was protecting it for you."

"… Lily…" Nina blushed at the kind thought, but shook her head. "I… um… that was the… me so long ago. I care way more about you than any role in any dancing studio."

Lily felt a grown up pop in Nina's face for a second, smirking. "T-that would've been nice to know a couple of days ago." She joked as she felt Nina push the muscles to a gentle calm, pleasurable feeling.

"I should've told you to not do this. If I was here I would've-"

"Don't feel guilty…" Lily stopped her doubt, suddenly looking into her eyes seriously. "I am the guilty one. Not you." She nibbled on her lip, not wanting Nina to fall into that same old pattern. "It's a half-truth what I just told you. Maybe that's how this all started. I felt like I needed to defend your legacy or something… to make sure someone remembered what you did that night on Opening Night."

Nina stopped her massaging listening so carefully, trying to remember her past that was being forced out by this new process she was going through.

"But, after the first time they cheered for me so loudly. I kind of put those thoughts behind me. The minute I felt this sense of accomplishment. It was like… a drug." Lily sat back now totally relaxed. "That rush. I couldn't get enough of it. The feeling of doing something that actually mattered…"

"… I understand how you feel."

"I don't think I was being honest with myself." Lily shrugged, looking at her. "Nina, for all my life I've been the girl that people call a free spirit. To me it was always a good thing and I lived the part and it felt great."

_Lily…_

"But after seeing you? After seeing these girls here? After hearing Thomas?" Lily crossed her arms. "I felt like I have all these abilities that I am blessed with. I had the opportunity of a lifetime right in my grasp. I couldn't just coast this time. When you told me I needed a break today. A part of me has been saying that for the last month."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because another part of me says you've been taking a break for 15 years. All wasted! What I could've done with that time. I feel like a failure sometimes looking back at what could have been."

"Lily you are one of the best dancers here. You are no failure. Even then… you've made it so far in your career even without this lead."

"But I feel that way. I always feel that way. Like I'm afraid to fail or some shit so I go at everything leisurely." Lily explained about her own insecurities, Nina for the first time seeing Lily almost... at her level. "I drown it away with parties. I drown it away with alcohol. I roll… I fuck A LOT… I feel good in anyway shape or form to hide the fact that I've never taken anything serious enough in my life."

"Like… a relationship?"

"… Well maybe not anything…" Lily whispers, looking down.

"Sorry I b-brought that up…" Nina looked away as well ashamed.

"It's okay…" Lily glanced back up at Nina, pulling her chin back with a gentle pull, making them stare at each other. She laughs a little at a thought. "All this time with a new you and we're just talking about me…"

"I… I…. new me?" Nina blushed, shaking her head in denial. "I'm just a girl… trying to piece together my life. I'm no new person."

"Nina I can barely recognize you sometimes, but actually, right there it did look like the past for a second." Lily smiled to Nina's pleasure. "You told me to remember the you that left for a while. It's good to see that you're doing so well and changing. It makes me really happy. Especially that you're back now."

"T-thanks Lily. I'm just taking it one step at a time. The therapy I'm getting it feels like… I've been broken up… all my insecurities and fears spilled out on a table… and I am forced to deal with it. Coming back has been… a trip."

"W-what made you want to return to ballet today anyway?"

Nina paused in remembrance. "… It's been in my mind for the past few days. It was a lot of things… but…"

KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Hey Nina! We need you for the final variation!" Madeline knocked on Lily's door. "Is Lily alright?"

"Yes we're fine!" Nina returned the call. "I'll be out a in a second!" She turned back to Lily. "Will you be okay?"

"Yeah… I'll be fine… as bad as it looks? I'm always fine." Lily smiled reassuringly, cooing as Nina's hands finally came off those hot smooth thighs. "Just go get em Sayers… I am more proud of you than I could ever be. And I know you just wanted to feel my legs by the way…"

"Ugh, thanks Lily…" Nina rolled her eyes.

"You're welcome…"

Nina answered annoyed but took it to heart the encouragement more than Lily ever could know. "Just promise me you'll take it easy at least for today… I regret not listening to you the last time. Don't make that same mistake."

"Girl scouts promise…" Lily crossed her fingers a bit confused. " Or er, whatever the fuck they say…"

"Same Lily…"

_Same Lily…_

_Really?_

Nina left the room with her beautiful smile and Lily glanced back at the mirror that was really her own reflection smiling as well. She leans back thinking of what had transpired in the last minutes. The last days. The last weeks… the last months. The changes. The non… changes. With all that she stared herself down like she was challenging herself. The darkness within. The mystery within her.

"When I'm sober… I own you bitch…"

The reflection only chuckled as she did.

- B – B – B –

"It's good to have you back Nina."

Nina heard Madeline actually say the words sincerely, turning back. "I… thanks… you guys have been really nice to me."

"You deserve it. Keep up the good work." Madeline patted her back. "Gailana is kind of down but she says she's glad at least you're taking her spot."

"… She said that?"

"Yep…" Madeline strolled off with a calm smirk, waving at her and exiting the building. Practice was over for a few minutes now and Nina was probably one of the last ones out of the place. As much as everyone else was surprised she was back, inside she was the most surprised. If someone were to tell her if how much she had done in the past month had been plausible she would've laughed it off.

Everyone seemed to be having her back now.

Was… the tension all in her mind back then?

Was this place as bad as she remembered?

"Nina we need to talk…"

"Lily! You're up." Nina picked up her backs with an excited jump, walking towards her with a smile. "I… was hoping you'd be good by the end of practice…"

"You got magic hands… more surprises from Nu-Nina…" Lily gave a suggestive wink, as she met her friend in the middle, a slight limp now only hinting at the injuries. With a light of a cigarette Lily began her ritual smoking and breaking the rules gig. "I was watching you from the back. You've gotten better without stepping into ballet slippers for months… how the heck is that possible?"

"Like riding a bike… it seems." Nina blushed, crossing her arms.

"You're gifted Nina. I think honestly you're the best ballerina I've ever seen… any age."

"Stop that… you know that's just biased…"

"Well I'm hoping you are anyway…" Lily puffed the cigarette a bit more serious in tone, strolling towards the piano and rubbing the black glossy finish as if she was preparing to say something.

"Y-you need to talk to me about something?"

"Mhmm." Lily leaned on the piano, staring at the returning ballerina with gleaming eyes. "I spoke with Thomas today and told him that now you're back I want the Swan Queen role up for grabs again."

"You said what?"

"… Nina this role is yours and I was holding it for you." Lily walked forward. "I have all the faith in the world that this new you is prepared to take this role to something that no one's ever seen. You were born for this."

"Lily, you worked hard to earn this spot. I'm happy where I am." Nina shook her head.

"But I'm not…" Lily looked down.

"You don't want to be the Swan Queen?"

"Not the way I got it… no." Lily pointed at her. "This bothers me. I've been thinking and even if I had the choice to go back and re-do this all again… I'd have a hard time saying no to this opportunity." She puffs the cigarette. "Being the Swan Queen made me finally look at what was wrong with me. I looked so good from the outside didn't I? But inside now… I've been tested again… in the longest time. I know what I'm doing now. What I need to work on."

"… And you're giving up the role? Quitting?"

"Hell no… Lily doesn't quit. At least… this Lily doesn't." She smirks. "Ballet isn't a little bitch's career. There's better paying gigs and less demanding gigs and I always wondered why the Hell I stayed in this career. I always thought it was because I liked looking cute and having basically a kid's dream as a job… was it the same for you?"

"… Somewhat…" Nina stared into her eyes.

"I kept at this because it was fun for me. I was good at it. It was an art form that made me be disciplined at one damn thing in my life." Lily seemed like she was on a roll. "I need to get some self-control back just in general. And I need to know how much I deserve this career."

"What are you saying…?"

"Tomorrow we're going to have a one day full test run of the show… just the Swan Queens. You and me, with Thomas watching and critiquing. Whoever he likes more he's going to make the lead role for the rest of the season."

"Lily! That's crazy… we can't switch again."

"Thomas and I both know that if you become Swan Queen interest in the production is going to sky rocket Nina. Your story is too powerful for it not to." Lily reassured. "Your performance and that Opening Night made this production on fire… and now that you're back? Even Thomas doesn't care about some criticisms about switching leads in the middle again. I don't mind it if you beat me for it. I don't quit…"

"B-but…"

"I don't mind keeping the role if I earn it… agree to this Nina."

Nina shook her head." No! This is not fair to you. I will not compete with you."

"You did before and you did great. Nina please… I need this."

"W-why? I…"

"Because I need to prove to myself that I deserve this role. That I am not dancing for you or any ghosts." Lily pleaded. "This is going to happen."

"This is crazy. I won't do it…"

"I'm not done… this goes beyond the Swan Queen." Lily looked at her with more somber eyes, such beautiful big eyes. "You said that night that you wanted me right?"

"Y-yes… I did."

"Then here's your opportunity." Lily put the cigarette out. "You beat me tomorrow? I'm going to give it my all to try… a serious relationship with you. I beat you tomorrow? … I get to fuck you again whenever I please… no strings attached."

"Lily… I can't believe you." Nina blushed, crossing her arms. "Are you nuts?"

"What's so crazy?" Lily walked towards her. "I'm a stubborn mule Nina! You really want to sit there and wait for me to change my mind about this? You have the chance to do what you do best to win me. I'm giving you this opportunity!"

"You think me beating you and forcing you into a relationship is what I want to do? As if I'm that selfish?"

"Nina… somewhere deep down inside… I'm being honest… I want you too." Lily suddenly broke the words, almost pausing as she did, making Nina's heart skip again. "It's just… my past… I get scared just thinking about it."

_Lily gets… scared?_

She takes off her jacket, going only in her practice top, those black wings visible in the mirror. "Somewhere out there, there's a girl with these same tattoos. Matched across her back. Just like mine. They're not Swan wings. They're fallen angel's wings…"

"Y-you and your ex-girlfriend…"

"Yes, we got them together saying we'd fall to Hell for one another. She was my first serious girlfriend and we were together for almost six years."

"…"

"She cheated on me the whole time. I was abused the whole time yet I stayed thinking that it was all okay and true love wins out." Lily sighed. "I was battered Nina. After that I'd treat anyone I was in a relationship with the same way… like trash. That's why I don't get into that shit. I don't want that to happen to you unless you show me you can beat the Hell out of me and put me in my place. Let's see how strong you really are."

"… I am sorry to hear about that…"

"The only way I learned to love anyone is to choke them to death…" Lily whispers. "Don't leave me… please stay… I won't let go… so I don't even bother to try anymore. I leave a wake of broken and battered hearts."

"Lily I.. can't… I can't do this… I'm sorry. I just can't!" Nina suddenly pulled away, grabbing her bags and was about to bolt out the door in tears.

"Nina! You owe me!"

Nina heard those words, holding back the tears as she stood there, stopped by the big mouth of Lily.

"Don't walk away from me again! Don't walk away from this." Lily stood strong. "You said you couldn't repay me ever in your life for my help. Well? This is it! Help me get rid of my demons either way. You win. I can let go and be at peace, you're the Swan Queen again and I try something with someone I know is strong enough to handle me. I win? I prove myself as a dancer, nothing changes from today, and I get to have you at night because I want your body so fucking bad I want to just break something."

"… This is… what you really… want?"

"If I were to put money on either of us… I'd put it on you… tell me if you really wanted me what would you do?" Lily challenged her. "How bad do you really want me in a relationship?"

"… Very… badly…" Nina turned with watery eyes, Lily walking over suddenly and hugging her tightly.

"Do this for me… please… Nina… I won't hate you. Either way I'll be your friend till the end…"

Nina looks to the air as she holds her tightly. The words next coming out like airy breaths. "I… fine… I'll do this…" she looked at Lily with a more prominent brow curve. "I'm telling you right now… I'm going to win. I… need you to myself and only me…"

"Good… new confident you." Lily stroked Nina's tears away. "Thank you…" She slowly moved her face in, kissing the tears, making Nina frizzle up, and lean back. "Guess you're not all new when it comes to it…"

"Damn you for making me do this…" Nina kissed her lips back suddenly, making Lily bounce back in surprise.

"Aw, it won't be so bad either way. Because tomorrow night? No matter what happens?" Lily leaned into her ear, licking it before whispering. "I'm fucking you all night long…"

Before Nina could react, Lily's tongue was deep down her throat, her lips silencing the loud moan that erupted from her mouth. Nina pressed kiss back as she held Lily around her neck, Lily grabbing onto Nina's head and pressing it so deep and passionate. Their kiss was noisy. It was sloppy. It was… passionate. Lily had Nina leaning back, exploring the sweet mouth like an obsession… she had her. She had her reeling…

"I hope that gives you some inspiration…" Lily whispered as she pulled away, breathing heavy like Nina. "Because you're getting my best shot tomorrow Sayers. I'm not making this easy…"

Lily pulled away from a Nina with a friendly wink, the lighter haired one feeling a bit faint from that wonderous kiss. Lily smirks to herself in accomplishment as she grabs her bags, walking off in her own confident strut. Times may have changed but for that split second it felt like before. Lily felt like herself again. Dominating. Mysterious. And getting her way.

Nina clenched her bags tightly as she watched Lily walk out of the studio. The nerves were there but she had an energy that welled up inside. She couldn't believe what just happened but she looked down in a calm breath. She was going to get the role… not because she wanted the role. She wanted Lily so bad. She wanted to win.

This was going to be the biggest dance of her life.

_And I know I may end up failing too  
But I know you were just like me…  
With someone disappointed in you…  
I'm tired being what you want me to be…_

_

* * *

_

**A/N: **Lily vs. Nina... for all the marbles! Dun dun dun! :)_  
_


	10. Act IX: What I've Done

**Act IX: What I've Done**

The day didn't feel like a normal one from the get go. The studio seemed to be a clout silence, not a soul here yet. With most of the ensemble not dressed today for rehearsal Lily should have expected this. Being a bit on edge made you forgetful. She walks through the empty entrance way and into the studio, her mind as focused as it had been in the longest time. There was a definite nervousness somewhere deep down. She wouldn't deny it. But she was suppressing it like a professional... at least on the outside. That calm sexual walk would never show weakness.

_There you are._

Nina already seemed to be here. No surprise. She was adorned in all white surprisingly, a familiar outfit hugging her slim figure as she was sitting against the wall going through her hand motions. For another treasured second for Lily it looked like the old Nina. Was it an intimidation tactic she was trying? Lily just smiled at the potential mind games Nina could have been playing.

Nina looks at Lily with not as much pleasantries, not a reply or gesture given as she seemed to be just as focused as her challenger.

"You look good in white." Lily walked over neighborly dropping her bags, sitting next to her, hands on her knees in pseudo deep thought. "Keep that look…"

They sat in quiet even after the words. Nina ignored and kept her excellent posture, moving gently in and out of transitions of the White Swan variation in her head as the music played. She looked so calm like any professional would be. She looked as cool as the other side of the pillow. She looked… in control.

The keyword was "looked".

"… I want to vomit." Nina muttered suddenly, breaking her strong façade. While she kept her cool face she let out a breath that spelled doom. Lily only sighed as she shook her head in amazement at the almost comedic collapse.

"Hehe, what? Are you okay?"

"This is all because of you!" Nina stopped her motions, sitting there in almost pouty way. "I haven't slept for hours. I got less than an hour of sleep. Why are you doing this to me?"

"Hey hey, we need this." Lily had a little guilty smirk as she saw the flash of angry Nina again. It almost looked like the day when Nina was quite perturbed Lily didn't 'wake' her up.

"If you say so…"

"Aw, Nina…" Lily frowned, stroking her soft hair, just getting a scorn girl's scowl for a reply. "To be honest and fair I didn't sleep much more either. Does that make you feel better?"

"… Not enough." Nina was plain flustered, still struggling with this bet that they made. It was silly to ride such a big part of their lives on this ballet role. Nina actually hiccupped when she would think this. Not too long ago ballet was everything to her. The irony of the thought was just a strange feeling.

"Well I feel a lot better because of that day of rest. Thanks for that massage…"

Nina couldn't believe that in one day and Lily seemed like she wasn't in the least bit of pain. One day was all it took for the Lily to compose herself physically… and apparently mentally as well. "Knowing about today, I am almost regretting helping you."

Lily couldn't tell if it was a joke or not really. She didn't mind it either way.

"Shhh, Nina it's just like the movies." Lily whispered. "The good girls always win. And we both know which one here is the good girl."

"This is not a movie!" Nina scowled, holding her swirling tummy. "This is real life! These are real feelings."

"Hah, imagine a movie about Swan Lake. Who the hell would go see that?" Lily smirked at the silly thought. "What's next… a Facebook movie?"

Nina wasn't amused, just coiling up in a ball of nervousness again.

"Come on. Just do what you do best. And everything will work out." Lily reassured brightly as she leaned back against the wall, pulling out her iPod.

"You are always so calm." Nina sighed, leaning back the same. "You don't seem nervous at all."

_Either way is a win for you…_

"Competing against the one who probably put on the best Swan Lake performance ever? And not being nervous?" Lily looked over as if Nina was nuts, grabbing her earphones to pull out her mp3 player. "Okay. I'll let you in on a little secret. I just have techniques to deal with the stress and butterflies."

"Such as?"

"You really want to know?"

"If you wish to tell me."

"Okay, but you're going to listen to exactly what I say. No questions asked alright?" Lily pointed over to the boom box. "Turn off this annoying Swan Lake music we've been listening too for way too long and pop this in."

Nina blinked out of curiosity, grabbing the boom box and stopping it, taking Lily's ipod and placing it in position. She was wondering what Lily was about to play. Perhaps some yoga tracks they could do together? Or maybe some peaceful transient music to just breathe deeply to?

Instead some pop beat that brought back memories of a youth lost made Nina startled.

"I-is this..?"

"I said no questions." Lily grinned at Nina's semi-torqued and cute face, taking a gentle stand, holding her hand out for Nina. "Whenever I get nervous I like to go back in time and remember how stupid I was. A time where we didn't know better. So Spice Girls music is perfect. Go 90s."

Nina could only react speechless, taking Lily's hand reluctantly and standing up in rhythm to the crazy piano synth. Lily began to move to the beat in a funky pop manner. The way she swayed even though a bit childish… was still incredibly sexy. Vintage Lily. Those hips don't lie.

"You know this song?"

"Sadly… yes…"

"Okay now, sing along with me and dance okay? You will feel better by the time we're done."

"… D-do I have to?"

"Nina I'm going to pinch you if you don't listen to me. You wanted my help right?"

"…"

"Yo I'll tell you what I want, what you really want." Lily sang proudly if not quite pleasantly, then pointing to Nina. The silence after put a damper on the proceedings as Nina just looked down with a mopey face. This was Lily's big secret?

"Ugh," Lily paused the track as Nina soon after wasn't obliging. "… I know you know these lyrics."

"I feel stupid…"

"That's the point! Now sing it!" Lily threatened with a harsh poke to her bony chest. Nina groaned, rubbing the sharp touch, just nodding in reply.

_You really could make me walk off a cliff can't you?_

"… So… tell me what you want… what you really… really… want…" Nina frowned in a mumble, crossing her arms, not knowing how this was going to help. The butterflies were still there most definitely.

"Good but belt it next time." Lily pressed the beat to start again, swinging towards her. "I'll tell you want I want, what I really really want!"

It was a simple fact. Those eyes. That face. Nina would do anything for her.

"So tell me what you want, what you really really want." Nina said a little stronger above the music.

"I wanna… I wanna… I wanna… I wanna… I wanna really really really wanna zig ah zig ah!" Lily suddenly pranced up with the silly lyrics, dancing like a hip hop star, bobbing her head to the beat. Nina wanted to laugh instantly Lily's disregard for shame, trying to hold it in. Lily was like an oil to get Nina to open up her doors. Surprisingly her voice wasn't that bad actually. Not great… but not bad.

_What do I have to lose?_

"If you want my future…"

"Sing it Nina."

"Forget my past…"

Lily took it, quite happy with Nina's effort. "If you wanna get with me you better make it fast!"

_**"How do you always do this to me?**_

_**You… taught me how… to smile again…**_

"So don't go wasting!" Nina suddenly sang out with a strong to her friend's surprise, joining Lily in a ridiculous dance, cutely staying close almost cheek to cheek. "My precious time!"

"Get your act together and we'll be just fine!"

"So I'll tell you what I want what I really really want!" Voices blurted out from across the room, as a startled Nina and Lily glanced over to see a group of ballerinas and ballerinos rush in like a mob. All dressed in casual clothes they began to move to the beat and singing their hearts out. It was turning into the Mickey Mouse Club…

"You guys I love this song!" Lynn pranced, channeling the young girl inside her.

"God I haven't heard this in… like ages!" Madeline laughed as she too was getting into it, moving like it was a rave.

"What the heck is going on here? Ah!" Veronica passed by as she was suddenly picked up by a male dancer, and swung around to the music.

"Oh here comes the chorus everyone!" Lily shouted out, pointing to Nina and the rest. "If you want to be my lover!"

"YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS!" Everyone shouted.

"Make it last forever!" Lily shouted again.

"FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS!"

Nina shook her head and stood back in amazement if not dumbfounded. She just saw the ballet studio erupt into a pop ballad in unison and together. Everyone and anything seeming to be laughing and Lily was the master of ceremonies egging everyone on. The joy and the nostalgia were contagious. Nina let it all soak in, staring at the dance studio where she poured sweat, blood, and tears into. All these dancers poured their all into this place like Thomas wanted. But for one time… amazingly this one day… they all seemed to let it out in a place where it usually wasn't accepted.

Ballet in this place forced you to be a machine.

For once, they were being the young adults they were and Nina was with them.

She was one of the girls.

"Come on Nina!" Lily took her by the hand gently, Nina giggling as Lily swung her around into an intimate dance. They both shared smiles and broken laughter like the crowd around them, dancing with Lily in the most innocent manner. They traded funny moves. And funny faces. There was no club lights. There was no ballet stage lights. Just a clear warm room lit up and a cute song to move to. And it was strange but for the first time they were having good innocent… fun together as friends.

"What's going on here?"

Of course all parties must come to an end sometime.

"H-hey Thomas…" Lily waved as her and Nina just looked over with almost shameful faces.

The music stopped with a press of a button. All the other dancers slowly began creeping out passed Thomas like he was about to strike them like a viper. He was a dictator around these parts and this type of behavior apparently was not befitting of a high class studio a Leroy clansmen would run. He pulls out the ipod from the boom box and walks over to Lily and Nina, handing it to the darker of the two.

"You two should be preparing for the dance of your life." Thomas looked not so amused.

"We're ready Thomas. Don't worry…" Lily took the ipod with a chuckle. It was no secret. She loved being caught.

"I apologize Thomas." Nina bowed her head. Apparently this new Nina still did not.

Thomas just looked at both of them disappointingly, shaking his head, walking off in that same powerful manner he always did. Nina and Lily watched his every strong step as he walked towards his office opening the door, abruptly stopping on an apparent whim.

"I'll tell you want I want… what I really really want…" Thomas blurted out in bad melody with a heavy French accent, looking at them with a half-smile. "They played the shit out of that in France as well. Horrible music but quite frighteningly catchy."

Nina and Lily just stared almost in their own horror.

"… I have nieces and nephews."

As Thomas left the area Nina and Lily paused only to compress their uncontrolled laughing, covering their mouths like little teenage girls. Even the ice cold Thomas couldn't resist a little of the rare fun and it was unbelievable. They both just stared at one another as they were once again alone.

"Wasn't expecting that." Lily laughs. "Actually we used to do this in San Francisco all the time at our studios. Just kind of be cute and dumb to relieve the tension. No Ballet. No hurting. Heh, didn't know this place had it in it."

"Me neither…" Nina was still taken back, actually much more than Lily. All the bad vibes were gone it seemed, like an aura dissipated. How much of it was Nina's own doing or the one standing next to her was still the debate.

"So you feel better?"

"I can't believe it… but yes." Nina gave a little relieved exhale as she tried to compose her joy.

"Just please stop thinking so much. Go out there and be Nina Sayers." Lily shook her gently in a friend's grasp. "Have fun! Don't over analyze this. It will all work out. I promise."

_You're so amazing Lily…_

_You make me… me._

"You're always there for me..."

"It's my job. See you out there… and good luck." Lily gave her the most genuine smile, putting on her ear plugs continuing her sing along solo, walking off mouthing the lyrics. Nina could only giggle to herself and at Lily as she glanced around the studio, the mirrors showing only her. The image of her glowing self from an unexpected lift from a friend she once thought was her enemy. She remembers the lonely nights practicing here. There was too many of those.

This was a pleasant change.

For once it wasn't cold anymore.

_If you wanna be my lover?  
You have got to give…  
Taking is too easy…  
But that's the way it is…_

- B – B – B -

The lights turned on blazing onto the two dancers on opposite sides of the stage. Thomas wanted this to feel as near the real deal as possible, getting the two into show time form. Beneath them were all their peers sitting and waiting for the dance that was going to decide their new lead. Lily had a couple deep breaths before leaping up and down, trying to get as a loose as possible. Her intensity wasn't hidden. It was like she was. What you see… was what you got.

On the other side, Nina was on her hands, one leg on the ground, a leg far upstretched to the sky. She was the opposite. Calmly coaxing the body into preparation. Her intensity lied within.

"Alright, Terry and Rick prepare your selves as the princes." Thomas commanded from below, taking a gander at both the girls. "Both of you have been amazing Swan Queens. I know you both can do this. We're going in less than one minute."

Nina and Lily both nod in silence as they tried to get into the frame of mind they needed to get into. Lily and Nina were friends but just like before they were now rivals. Frenemies at least for the moment.

"Thanks for doing this Nina." Lily said from across finally, putting her toes to the test, stretching and cracking the often used feet. "You're going to be great."

"… You're welcome and so are you." Nina nodded back, taking a glimpse at the stage. She hadn't been on this stage in so long. She still was afraid of it. The stage lights felt the same like Opening Night. The crowd wasn't even there just like Opening Night. But for some reason the fear wasn't jolting her. She was looking it straight in the eyes… letting it know she was here to stay.

_I can do this. _

"Lily! Prepare for the first run! White Swan opening!"

"Well… here goes." Lily walked over to Nina, reaching out to hold her hand. "Remember. Whatever happens… it will be okay."

"I hope so." Nina smiled, feeling Lily's warm hand. That reassuring touch was needed.

"This is your stage. Let's put on a show alright?" The entertainer in Lily would never be silenced, walking off with a step and a bounce, coiling into first position. Nina backed away to the stage to watch on, Lily about to go first.

"Lights! Music! And dance!"

Nina had already seen Lily performed the White Swan variation so many times but not recently. Her movements, her personality, and her seamlessness were vastly improved as the White Swan. Nina almost didn't believe it. The amount that Lily had improved technically was extremely drastic for just the past months. Her rotations were so tight and precise… just like Nina.

_Just like me…_

Lily passed the prince in a smooth pull, spinning towards Nina with every step landing perfectly, going so fast that Nina couldn't believe her eyes. Something was off and Nina couldn't deny what she was seeing. Every spin Lily's face would… almost change. First it was Lily… then it was Nina. Then it was Lily again. Then back to Nina. The old Nina. The one dressed as the White Swan. By the end of the transition Nina wasn't staring at Lily anymore. It wasn't possible…

She was literally staring at the White Swan.

The White Swan that died Opening Night.

_In this farewell.  
There's no blood.  
There's no alibi._

_Because I've drawn regret.  
From the truth.  
Of a thousand lies._

"It's really you…" Nina stares into her weak eyes, the White Swan like a tense chord ready to snap at any moment. Tension was what made the White Swan tick. A beautiful woman teetering on desperation and hope, only to have a feeling that it was going to be all taken away. Nina felt the pain in her old self. The one that was so graceful on stage but so weak and in pain off it. Every movement of the White Swan spoke to Nina…

_Am I not good enough?_

The White Swan clutched her aching breast.

_Why do I hurt myself?_

She caresses her own face for comfort.

_Do you hate me for being so weak Nina?_

She turns to her Nina in a finished pose.

… _Why did you kill me Nina?_

The ballet crowd erupts in cheers as Nina shook her head to straighten it out, staring as a blurry Lily was in finished position hands extended towards the prince. Nina breathed heavy as she clapped with a hesitant stare, seeing Lily wave at her with a playful wink.

_You are really here._

The illusions were back with a fury and Nina tried to keep it together. She just smiled back happy for her friend as she walked to center stage now, prepping her body into first position, her memories of the White Swans movements burned into her mind permanently.

"Alright Nina! Let's go!"

Everyone was on the edge of their seat as Nina did what she was born to do. This was Nina's first steps as the Swan Queen since that night and she wasn't disappointing, nailing every move with the same grace and technique as before. It was slightly different this time though as she seemed to have a quiet confidence… a hope. Before she danced the White Swan it was almost a forgone conclusion of her impending doom. This one… her face… it was sad… but it… wasn't going to give up.

_I didn't hate you. And you're not weak._

Nina leapt as high as she could, landing in a twirl, her toes carrying her like she was on a cloud across the prince.

_** Nina looks at herself in the mirror, practicing her moves countless times, spinning on her toes. A loud crack makes her wince in pain, crumbling to the floor. She opens her ballet shoes to see blood.**_

_We had so much pain welled up inside. All we had was dance to let go. You tried so hard. You were such a delicate person but you still gave it your all. _Nina turned, swearing she was seeing the White Swan watch her from back stage, looking on with tearful eyes.

"I am sorry you had to die…" Nina whispers quietly as she pushed off into a furious leaping flurry. "B-but I needed to grow. I needed to become the woman I am supposed to be…"

The Prince catches her and twirls her in the air, Nina seeing the White Swan nodding at her with a sorrowful hug of herself.

"I am not ashamed of you…" Nina spoke to herself gingerly. "But please understand that it wasn't worth living like that anymore. It was time to move on."

Nina was prepping for her final spins as she landed on a dime, the motions and moves coming back to her rushing like she was performing the show, everything quiet all around her.

"No one was there to guide us but now there is…" Nina back toed towards where the White Swan was, looking at her broken self, clung together with as much beauty as there was tragedy. "Rest peacefully… you deserve it… it wasn't fair but… you still are me. I will never forget you and you will forever be a part of me."

The White Swan looks at her mirror image… the real her, holding her side where the wound was that killed her. She suddenly breaks a small smile as if she finally felt no pain, looking at Nina… seeing how strong she had become.

"_I'm proud of what we've… become… thank you for letting me… rest."_

Suddenly the room erupted in a loud cheer just as loud as last time, Nina hearing the group of ballerinas and boys chant her name like it was some sort of rallying cry. She looks over where the White Swan was and sees Lily smiling at her like usual, clapping as well. Her breathing calmed.

"Sayers still gots it." Lily complimented.

Nina just laughed a bit brokenly, closing her eyes as she felt at peace with a side of herself she hadn't seen in so long. She walked back to her position, breathing in pants as she felt the sorrow and pain from those nights… just take flight away. The White Swan within was at rest.

"Lily, Black Swan variation!"

Nina froze as she felt a chill run up her spine as the music shifted to darkness. She almost knew what to expect and didn't want to turn at first. She clenched her fist and gulped, the inevitable two red eyes in the darkness far across the stage looking right at her. The Black Swan walked out to the light, the black costume hugging that pale body like it was alive. The crimson stare of the Black Swan never leaves Nina, almost challenging her, not impressed.

_I think you're still the same girl._

_Prove to me that you've changed. That you actually learned something._

The Black Swan hissed as she touched her own pale cold body, the Prince circling her like she was an irresistible meal to be had. Nina saw herself touching the prince, stroking him, moving that body in a sensual sway that the prince could not resist. She takes a few steps back as the Prince pulls that limp body towards her, the Black Swan almost popping out to grab Nina herself. The creature leaps out of the prince's hands and strikes a threatening pose, toe pedaling to a stop, her bareback waiting for the Prince to feel.

_You told me that you finally understood._

_You better not have fucking lied._

The Black Swan coos in the hands of the man she is trying to trick, touching him where he wanted to be touched. Nina gasps as the darkness in her let out a screech that no one else heard, piercing Nina's ears as she backed away. The darkness within was so intimidating. So powerful. So full of rage. So fearless…

_So let mercy come.  
And wash away.  
What I've done._

_I'll face myself.  
To wash out what I've become.  
Erase myself.  
And let go of what I've done._

Nina trembled, holding her chest as the Black Swan's stance was taken by her old friend, Lily bowing with a wave. She turns to Nina again with a reassuring smirk, almost to tell her everything is going to be okay.

_Are you going to be a coward Nina?_

_*… I am afraid.*_

_So you haven't learned anything?_

_*… But Lily taught me there's nothing wrong with being afraid.*_

Nina wasn't fazed by the images as she began bouncing up and down preparing. She heard Thomas yell the words for her to begin and leapt upwards. Nina closed her eyes, letting her breath out, the sensual moves of the Black Swan now her palette. She opened her eyes next, pulling out of the darkness with a strut that only the new self could do, a confident, sensual strut… but one with the understanding of the task at hand. This Black Swan was the sexual creature but it was calculating. It was uncontrolled but… by design.

"I was afraid to let you to the surface because I thought you couldn't be handled…" Nina shot out like an explosion into spins that looked frantic. "I thought you were something that was not… me."

Nina stressed her body into a ball, unleashing a twirling leap as she met with the prince staring at him. She knew she had to seduce him. She had to make him want her. She wanted to do it like last time but for some reason it wasn't feeling the same. She had to close her eyes again for a second closing them tight, trying to find that urge to take this man to the edge.

_I can't find it…_

_Maybe I am no different…_

"It's okay…" Nina heard that voice of her strength, slowly opening her eyes.

_Lily?_

"Seduce me…" Lily stood next to her in all black like a male partner, her new partner in this dance of seduction.

"B-but how…"

"Come on… you want me… seduce me Nina." Lily urged.

Nina looked into her eyes as she nodded with a determination that was always with her. Nina's primal instincts flowed out like a cascading river as she pressed her back into her 'prince', grinding her rear into her. Lily groaned reached out stroking her cheek in encouragement, only to have Nina leap out of her grasp, striking her pose with a face of lust and confidence. Lily smiled almost wickedly, licking her lips as she tried to pursue, Nina slanting across with a spin to her behind, a hand running down Lily's stomach and to her crotch.

"T-that's it…" Lily blushed as she grabbed Nina's body, holding it tightly, dragging her across the floor.

"How are you going to lift me…?" Nina whispers as she swayed her hips into Lily's body, making them both feel like ticking time bombs, wanting to explode in their lust for one another.

"Do you trust me?"

"… Yes I do…"

It was the only words that need be said. Lily smiles as Nina felt herself lifted up high above the air, feeling so weightless, her body so free of anything holding her down. She was being lifted. She was being lifted by her friend that she thought couldn't. It was ridiculous to doubt Lily. The same girl that was her enemy not too long ago was the only thing that held her up for months. The only one that supported her when she couldn't stand on her own.

_Will you always be there for me?_

Nina lands in a tight spiral, her thighs finishing in between Lily's legs and her hands across her face. They both let out a lustful purr as their bodies were so close… so warm… and so prepared to be taken.

_You want something. Go get it and let nothing stand in your way. _

_You finally get it._

"You'll always be a part of me like my old self." Nina whispers towards the darkness within. "But I'm in control from here on out."

"Nina! BRAVO!" She heard Thomas yell, making her shake out of her trance.

Nina looked back to see her old male partner Rick staring at her with an unusual stare as if this new sexy Nina was an alien. She felt a hardness on her leg, instantly knowing the issue and backing up in a gasp. Nina was extremely red in her face as she looked at him. She was still a little of her old self in that sense. The same man that said he wouldn't "fuck her" to Thomas was convinced. Apparently according to what was going on below his waist that's changed.

"Wow Nina… sexy seductress…" Lily laughed from the back, looking at her so surprised. The Black Swan that was standing there was now gone, again her old friend taking its past with it. Nina tries to cool herself off, feeling quite bashful, knowing what she just did. Everyone was literally blown away regardless. That was more passionate than anything she did Opening Night.

"Alright Nina! Lily! Since there is no partners in the final variation! Together dance side by side, split! Nina inverse!"

"You are doing so great Nina…" Lily walked to center stage meeting Nina at the middle.

"Am… I winning?" Nina seemed the more out of it of the two for sure.

"I hope… so…" Lily said genuinely with a chuckle as she patted Nina low on her back. Nina could only stare with appreciation. No words ever would tell Lily how she felt about her.

_You are my perfect friend._

_You were my perfect rival._

_You will be my perfect lover._

_You will always be my perfect… everything._

They began on cue, like mirror images moving to the beat, neither of them back down from the challenge. They gave each other glances of support and care between each motion, pushing each other to limits they didn't even know could be reached. Memories of everything they had gone through floods through their minds. Their first meeting. The bathroom. The night club. The rivalry. The misunderstanding. The realizations. The sex. The drugs. The talks…

"I wouldn't change anything we've done together Lily!" Nina shouted as she spun into the side.

"Me neither!" Lily backed off in the same manner. "Let's finish this the right way okay!"

"Okay!"

Nina and Lily met at the stairway, pushing up it together, moving their hands as if they were propelling themselves up to the heavens. The two Swans stood before the lake they were about to jump, everyone just holding their breaths as the music brought the entire dance to the climax.

In the version of Swan Lake chosen by Thomas the White Swan dies after learning of her prince's betrayal. Long ago Nina read different variations of the ending to the story. Her favorite was when the prince realized he was wrong he chose to die with the White Swan so they could live happily together in heaven.

Together.

"Let's go together alright?" Lily whispers, those pearly eyes flashing. "You're amazing Nina Sayers…"

"Together… we'll always go together I promise." Nina smiled with a tear of happiness in her eyes.

It almost felt like they were hand in hand. They both jumped together as it ended, landing softly on the bed below like they were on the clouds. Nina opened her eyes a feeling of peace running through her body, a sense of calm that she hadn't felt since she was a young child. She opened her eyes to see Lily on top of her, grinning while stroking her face.

"Not bad… Nina." Lily laughed. "Not bad for two skinny little broads huh?"

_This is what happiness feels like._

_I almost… forgot._

Lily blinked as Nina was in tears, not really replying just looking up. "Hey what's wrong?"

"… Nothing." Nina laughed, wiping her eyes, looking at Lily. "Nothing feels… wrong at all."

"Hehe, come on… let's take our practice bow okay?" Lily wanted to just lay here with Nina all day but knew they had a crowd to appease.

"Whoever wins-"

"Shh… don't worry about that right now." Lily grinned, kissing her cheek. "You're back to doing what you love Nina. That's awesome isn't it?"

_I'm no White Swan._

_I'm no Black Swan._

_I'm a dancer._

_I'm Nina Sayers…_

"More than awesome." Nina nodded approvingly as they helped one another up, walking out to their peers who seemed quite appreciative of their efforts.

"MARRY ME NINA AND LILY!" One of the boys yelled to laughter.

Nina and Lily just smiled in the center stage, absorbing the claps with quiet bows. It was loud and pleasant. They heard their peer's reaction to their performance and it was clear they won respect. It almost felt like the real show in fact. For the competition as far as they were both concerned… they both won.

- B – B – B –

In the office Lily and Nina both sat in their own chairs, both in silence. Nina hadn't looked up once since they got into the room, waiting for Thomas to come in with the news. She was back to being quiet, almost not wanting to know the results. Lily partly agreed. In fact neither of them really wanted to hear it now. They both did so well. One person wasn't going to be exactly rewarded for it…

Dreams met for one. Dreams broken for another.

"I don't care about this role…" Nina said it unlike her old self. "I only wanted you…"

Lily sighed glancing at Nina up and down like she was a painting that was impossible to figure out. "I know… you did so great Nina."

"Thank you…" Nina just held her head, leaning forward wanting to burst from the anxiety.

"Be honest with me you wanted me to trip and fall didn't you?" Lily accused with a chuckle, an ice breaker.

"… A part of me did." Nina teased back.

"Hello ladies."

Thomas walked in and the silence was now ironically deafening. Nina and Lily could hear the hums in their ears as Thomas sat down at his desk, looking at them both and analyzing his two dancers.

"When I agreed to do this I didn't know what to expect from you both." Thomas seemed to be antsy himself. "I really didn't want to go through this again but for me it felt right and I know Lily wanted to push this." He sighed. "I'm going to cut the bullshit and just tell the one I would choose right now to be my Swan Queen if I had to make a choice."

Lily and Nina held their hands together underneath the desk, holding tightly, looking at one another with hopeful stares.

_It will be okay… I promise…_

"I would choose Lily…"

Nina heard it almost in slow motion and twitched, Lily looking back into her glare not feeling so much like a winner. Nina let out a deep breath as she felt the loss go into her body. She lost the bet. She lost… Lily.

_**"Thomas! What's she doing here? She's supposed to be sick!"**_

_**"Thomas I've been worried about her! I don't think she's ready to do this… let me just do the Opening Night and she can take the role back. I just want her to be okay!"**_

_**"Lily it is my decision! Go back to your make up table now!"**_

"Congratulations… Lily…" Nina managed to muster up, smiling. "You… deserve it."

"… Nina…" Lily felt a sadness well up in her chest as she watched Nina come up short. She just wanted to hold her so tightly. To support her but Thomas being here wasn't letting her do so.

"Hey now Ms. Sayers." Thomas got her attention quite sternly with that voice. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It may be blasphemy but you danced perhaps even better than Opening Night."

_Better than perfection?_

"To be honest I did not make that decision based only on today. Today if I had to choose between you two purely based on this try out? It was a coin flip." He looked over to Lily. "You madame. You have grown since you first came here. You had a monumental task to step into the shoes of a performance that Nina accomplished and you did so with a brave smile."

Lily smirked to herself hearing it from the well-respected choreographer. She was a bit of a ham, waving her hands like she wanted to hear more.

"You came here undisciplined but filled with intangibles and passion and realness." Thomas leaned back. "Now you are as sound as any ballerina I've come across and you single handedly pulled my production for the past month almost flawless. I couldn't take this role away from you."

"I… accomplished all that huh?" Lily never really reflected on what had happened the past months.

"With all the pressure and the increased exposure you passed with flying colors." Thomas reassured. "Doing what Nina did for show after show after show. I know it wasn't easy but you stepped up no matter how much pain you were in."

"I guess I really almost forgot what I was doing for the last month." Lily looked at Thomas and Nina. "When Nina went down… it just was kind of a big blur. Just get the job done right…"

"Nina, please understand that it wasn't anything you did today." Thomas told her again. "You are an amazing woman. The changes I've seen in you are almost not possible to imagine. You're not even a shell of that girl that couldn't lose control anymore."

"… I had… help." Nina turned to Lily with a smile.

"I see." Thomas chuckled to himself as he had a realization between the two that he was pretty sure of.

"Well… thank you Thomas. You helped me as well." Nina turned to him with a shake of her head. "I have no problem keeping Lily as the lead. She deserves it more than anyone else."

"We're not done." Thomas smirked as Nina and Lily froze back in surprise. "I did this version of Swan Lake because I wanted to get back to the basics. To simplify the roles. To have one Swan Queen played by one woman. After today? I don't think that is the simple answer anymore."

"W-what are you saying?" Lily curled her look.

"I am splitting the roles again." Thomas stated with strength. "A Black Swan and a White Swan…"

_What? _ Nina shook her head.

"Huh? You're kidding!" Lily smiled big, turning to Nina instantly nudging her shoulder. "Hey! Are you okay with that?"

Nina just blinked a couple of times looking at them both, too surprised to really answer. "I… I don't want to take away Lily"

"Oh come on Nina! Will you just take a break when it comes your way just one damn time?" Lily urged, holding her hand. "We'll be co-leads! We can dance… together… kind of."

_Dance together…_

"Well what do you say Nina?" Thomas asked as Nina just stared at them in deep thought. She was running through images of her mind. What did she want? What did she want to do?

This… Nina knew what she wanted.

"I will do this only on two conditions." Nina said with a suddenly strong voice. "Firstly, I want to choreograph a dance with me and Lily on stage at once during the third break. The transition from the White Swan to the Black Swan sections. Secondly? Lily and I will be both the White and Black Swan. These roles are not separate."

"Whoa, what do you have in mind?" Lily blinked.

"Nina uh, that is some tall conditions for someone getting an opportunity here." Thomas crossed his arms.

"If I come back I know for surely that the exposure to the ballet will increase." Nina added. "Sitting back and watching you work Thomas has inspired me. I want to do what you do. And this is a perfect time to do so. Please let me do this. Nothing goes past you. Every choreography I create will have to be accepted by you. Me and Lily already proved we know the current choreography by heart. We can handle a little more."

Thomas laughs to himself, Nina and Lily not knowing mockingly or in fun. "Imagine… this is the same girl who walked into my office months ago all dolled up but couldn't even look me in the eye just for a lead role. Now she's making demands from me."

"Y-you did what?" Lily gasped looking at Nina who blushed shamefully. "You little animal…"

"I uh… I… w-what do you say Thomas?" Nina wanted the subject to change back immediately.

"As long as I get final say on what goes and doesn't I don't see the harm in trying. Your idea for a dual Swan Queen pair intrigues me." Thomas smiled. "Being my assistant for those few weeks makes me tentatively agree Nina. Do not disappoint me by making me regret this."

"Oh my God," Nina couldn't contain herself and leapt off her seat, rushing over and hugging Thomas. "Thank you! Thank you! You don't know what this means to me!"

"Not a problem… now you two Swan Queen's get some rest. We have a big overhaul for the show in the next week." Thomas pulled out his drawer with a chuckle, even he had his spirits brought up from this whole ordeal. What happened today was unprecedented even in his storied career. Even the top dog needed something new to keep the passion alive. Watching Nina's and Lily's stories unfold apparently had softened him… a little bit.

"Didn't you two hear me? Get out of my office. There's not enough hours in the day. Au revoir."

- B – B – B –

Joy.

It couldn't be contained.

Nina and Lily were as high on their spirits as they ever had been, feeling like two teenage girls who just got their first real dates with a hunk or a babe. The bounce to the step was back for both of them. Lily wanted to make a movie called "How Lily Got Her Groove Back" right now.

"Wow, you talking to Thomas like that." Lily walked out hands around Nina's shoulders holding her tight and protectively. "What are you planning for this two Swan Queen thing?"

"I want to tell a story that's personal to me for that one section." Nina looked at the mirrors around her. "When we danced together I felt that we can do something amazing together on stage at once in a real show."

"I'm game for anything." Lily winks at her. "I told you… it would work out."

"There's so much to do. I need to choreograph. I need talk to the stage hands to design some props. I have to talk to Georgina about a costume change…" Nina held her head at the blister she got herself into. This was the world of Thomas Leroy. The one she saw her future as.

"Will you just relax and just celebrate please? You're giving me a headache with this." Lily let her go and stretched. "We're both Swan Queens! Unbelievable!"

"I… I know… but…" Nina gave her a look of not so joyous faces. "Technically you won today… so…"

"Not really. I got a sympathy vote." Lily shrugged. "I'd call it a flat out draw."

"Then what about… us?" Nina asked with a bit of weakness in her voice. How it shifted from Thomas to now talking to Lily was like night and day. Nina still had a weakness for Lily. A big weakness.

"Haha, you want me so bad don't you?" Lily laughed, grabbing her ipod in a smooth snug matter. She made a playful teasing smile. "I'm getting a little nervous about this…"

"W-what are you doing?"

"When I get nervous and get butterflies you remember what I do…" Lily put the earplugs in, the music starting in her head.

"Lily… no… not this again. Not now."

"Candle light and soul forever… a dream of me and you together… say you believe it… say you believe it." Lily sang with much feeling as she walked towards Nina seductively.

"… Lily… will you take off those headphones and-"

Lily put a finger to her lips, silencing her. "Free your mind of doubt and danger. Be for real don't be a stranger. We can achieve it… We can achieve it…"

"Lily! Stop fooling around! I'm being serio-ah!" Nina suddenly felt Lily touch her and feel her up, hands planted on her firm rear, making her lift her toes a bit in an embarrassed gasp.

"Come a little bit closer baby… get it on… get it on… cause tonight? Is the night… when two become one…"

"… Lily… please… just answer me." Nina pleaded.

"I need some love like I never needed love before." Lily giggled back away, dancing with herself now in the most sensual way. "I had a little love. Now I'm back for more. I wanna make love to ya baby. Set your spirit free. It's the only way to be…"

Nina suddenly grabbed the earphones and pulled it out. "Lily… no more!"

"… Sheesh, you are no fun…" Lily suddenly kissed her lips making Nina mmph like a toy. "Just meet me at my house 7:00 tonight alright?"

"But we need to-"

"Look… it's going to be a date okay?" Lily rolled her eyes around the studio. "Isn't that what couples or… pre-couples do normally? Date?"

"I… y-yes… I guess."

"I think that should give you your answer… now I'm going to put my music back on and I'll see you tonight co-Swan Queen." With a whisper to her ear, Lily pulled the earphones back over her head and left how she was always arrives to the studio. She began to hum the melody of the song as Nina kept staring at the girl who plainly had her coiled around those fingers. Just walking away Lily had her enticed.

It was all in the butt Lily told her once.

Happiness was a strange state of mind.

"I can't believe… this." Nina looked around as she saw plenty of reflections of herself with a smile plastered on her face. She touched her burning cheeks and waved excitedly. There was excitement in her. There was hope back inside of her. All that work. All that suffering… she made it through the doubts.

She hears a crack as she looks over to the side seeing reflections of herself that didn't match the others. A Black and White Swan without any make up sat next to one another laughing, looking… friendly. Nina watches them as they were conversing in a silent conversation, slowly turning and looking at their real self through the mirror. They nod approvingly at Nina… waving, slowly fading out like ghosts that had finished their purpose.

"I think we made it didn't we?" Nina whispers to them in remembrance of her ordeals. "… Thank you."

Nina swears she could hear Lily's voice outside ring like a siren. She was just as excited as Nina was.

_Silly games that you were playing  
Empty words we both were saying  
Lets work it out girl.  
Lets work it out girl._

_Any deal that we endeavor  
Girls and girls feel good together  
Take it or leave it.  
Take it or leave it_

_Are you as good as I remember baby?  
Get it on, Get it on  
Cause tonight, is the night.  
When 2 become 1…_

_I need some love like I've never needed love before.  
Wanna make love to ya baby…  
I had a little love, now I'm back for more.  
Wanna make love to ya baby…_

_Set your spirit free…  
It's the only way to be…_

_

* * *

_**A/N: **Special thanks to those who support. And the 90s for making such cheesy but lovely music..._  
_


	11. Act X: Dig

**A/N: **I love you guys. :) This... is the time where things lighten up a bit before the big finale. I like to call this... the "White Swan" section.

* * *

**Act X: Dig**

Even after all that had happened it wasn't a debate for Nina. Lily definitely still gave her the damn worst butterflies ever.

If Nina felt nervous about today's dance against Lily then this date was at about the same level. She couldn't remember another instance where she spent so much time and effort on primping herself up beyond the ballet aspect of her life. This new Nina wasn't inept about female beautification but she still was no expert. She took what she learned from Lily and simple observations. Thankfully she was just a naturally attractive girl.

A bundle of nervousness gets to the doorway on the top floor of Lily's apartment, taking a deep breath, slumping onto the metal opening before she even thinks about turning that knob. She was _actually _going on a date. A date with Lily. A date with destiny?

_Is this even real?_

_Am I imagining things again?_

It was almost like the first ever ballet dance she would perform with Thomas it was that intense. She was shaking, trying to control herself, opening the cold knob with a slow creak. She stepped outside to the night sky of New York City, the only sky she only knew, the sounds of a calm wind, pedestrian night life, and traffic to greet her ears. The NYC lights below gleamed across the rooftop edges, shooting up like a nice back lit drop from a ballet stage as she sees Lily sitting near the edge at a viewing seat.

The door shut tight.

"Is there a reason we're meeting up here?" Nina asked as she closed the distance, reminding Lily of her strange request of a text.

"It's a long story." Lily didn't turn her head back to simply answer, those dancer legs to her chest, arms wrapped around them.

"I think we have time to talk." Nina reminded as she sat down across from Lily, seeing her date partner for the first glimpse of the night.

For Nina Lily was just a natural born a beauty. Probably out of the womb she must have had a layer of make up on and a nice dress to boot. It was an effortless attractiveness but tonight Lily seemed to have been a bit finer with the details. Her lips were a vivid red, her soft face was as even as a big show night. Those eyes were just piercing as always just with heavily outlined eyeliner to contrast them even more.

On the other side a curious Lily finally peaked back to see Nina so primed and ready to please her eyes. She almost felt giddy inside at the moment looking at how beautiful Nina was when she spruced up. Delicacy meets empowerment was an excellent combination. Both of them had on long coats to hide what they were wearing underneath adding even more intrigue.

"… Want to talk about the long story?" Nina broke the silence of their mutual physical gazing.

"Can't we just talk about how good you look instead?"

"… I think the other one might… be a bit more interesting." Nina laughed. "You… look great too by the way."

Lily sighed at the realization. They were like kids when it came to this. Complimenting each other on a date physical preparation well done.

"Okay might as well tell you." Lily then huffed a bit bitterly. "I… uh… freaked out downstairs and went up here to think. I needed the air."

"Well you came to the right place… there's definitely a lot of air up here."

"Y-yeah…" Lily shrugged. "I got home all excited and pumped from the dancing tryout. I was so Gung Ho after Thomas told us everything. I was ready for this. I was so ready for a change. I was so ready to go on my first _real_ date in about 8 years."

"… And?"

"Then I actually started thinking about it." Lily looked with a few discerning taps of her fingers. "I kept thinking that I am _actually_ going on a date." She choose the dark sky as her viewing partner. "What am I going to wear? What are we going to do? What's going to happen?"

"Lily I can't believe you're questioning these things." Nina wanted to gasp, Lily was showing a part of herself rarely seen. Someone that was flat out unconfident and unsure. It was kind of scary.

"You're telling me!" Lily shook almost annoyed. "You have no idea. I was putting on my makeup and I all could think about is… Lily, what the fuck are you doing? Who are you kidding? You have no clue!"

"We don't have to do this if you're not ready…"

"Oh, Nina no." Lily said with an apologetic stir. "I just guess I finally was out of my comfort zone for once… I didn't expect a little panic attack but I think I'm fine now."

Seeing Lily uncomfortable, was like seeing Big Foot or a UFO. Just how bad was her love life?

"It's strange." Nina pondered, having a realization. "I made you uncomfortable. I made you worry. How about that?"

_That's a first._

"Congratulations." Lily sighed pathetic. "Want a medal?"

"Lily, I don't know what I am doing either. I think we're in the same situation here."

Lily gave it a bit more thought before she spoke. "I think I can safely say that I usually at least know how 90 percent of things are probably going to play out in my life. I'm going to get by. I'm going to have fun. I'm going to be strong enough to handle life in general. But with you and me trying this… dating thing… ugh… I feel like a little kid worrying-"

"I know you're scared." Nina didn't want to let Lily beat herself up. "You don't know what's going to happen and it's-"

"I just don't want to hurt you Nina and I can't promise what I don't know." Lily frowned. "The thought of this going bad for us? It just… scares me. I haven't cared about anyone like this in a very long time. And that last time wasn't exactly what they write about in Hollywood."

"I guess… I can't understand…" Nina admitted, her cheeks warm from Lily's statement about caring. "Y-you are the first real person I feel this way about."

"Ugh, I'm sorry I am bringing this up right now. I thought I could brush it off to the side like I usually do."

"No it's okay. I am glad you told me this. I'm scared too. I know this isn't going to be easy." Nina reached out suddenly and held Lily's hand. "But I do know that because of you? For the first time in my life I look forward to the unknowns of tomorrow. I want to see what's going to come for me. Good or bad. I know I want this…"

The statement coming from this young woman calmed her. Lily now had a smile that only cupid's arrow could produce, looking at their hands, fingers intertwining, tightening it. "It's nice seeing the adventurous you." She felt the roles had reversed strangely, chuckling to herself. "It's funny. I came off the jet from San Francisco so naïve. I had a good gig back in the west coast and for some reason I felt the need to go out here and prove my worth."

"And you've most certainly done that."

"Maybe as a ballerina…"

_There's so much more Nina… you'll never understand._

"Ugh, enough of this downer crap. This is supposed to be our fun night! Let's start this date!" Lily looked at her with a stroke of her cheek, nervously glancing back towards the New York skyline, uncomfortable speaking about her inner feelings. Nina noticed it. They both had issues with emoting. Nina was improved now but Lily? She was still that girl who hid things with her natural charm. Hiding behind that party girl persona was someone there with a broken soul.

_I can see that you're just like me… why won't you open up?_

"Isn't the New York skyline just freaking awesome?" Lily whispers as she glanced over Time Square, all the large buildings and signature towers looming over them. "I can sit here and stare at it for hours. I was iffy at first but damn I love this place now."

"You know I'd much rather sit here all night with you rather than the usual Lily night out right?" Nina giggled a little, remembering those nights out now with a bit of grain of salt.

"Clubs are not really your thing huh?" Lily hits her own head lightly as Nina replied with a simple and lighthearted nod. "… It's so stupid the way I tried to _help_ you." She brushed the floor with those heels. "For me my escape was drugs and a crazy night out. When I watched you struggling I thought doing the usual would loosen you up."

"It did… but not really the way I wanted it to."

"Gotcha…"

There was another silent pause as they both took a peak at the thousands of walkers below. New York City never sleeps and the thought of walking through that for two ballerinas who had just went to 'war' didn't seem so appealing. They were on the same wavelength tonight at least on that front.

"Hey as much as I love seeing this nice night, maybe we can go somewhere warmer?" Nina shivered. "I almost just want to just sit in your apartment and talk to you like this. It's fun for me."

"But when you got here I thought I could stay out here all night cause baby? You so hot…" Lily said seriously like a pick up line should be… only to burst out laughing a second later as she hugged around Nina to warm them both up. "Hah! Wow that was a lame but sexy line right?"

"More lame... but I'll take it." Nina stood up with a big smile, pulling up Lily as they began to walk back to the elevator hand in hand.

"Sorry I freaked out."

"You don't do it much." Nina comforted. "I think I'm winning the freak out count between us."

"Heh, you know, I was wondering what we were going to do tonight but I guess since this is a time of renewing." Lily playfully held Nina's hand, swinging it like they were on a school playground or something. "Me and you in an apartment all to ourselves? Some Chinese takeout? A warm bed? That sounds like a date to me right? Not the Lily usual?"

"It actually sounds like the best idea I've ever heard from you ever." Nina gave out a breathy giggle. "After today I feel like my body wants to collapse."

Lily had her old happy self back up and running. "Say… I do owe you… a massage don't I?"

"I wasn't keeping count on that one… but yes. Yes you do."

- B – B – B -

Nina and Lily made their way down to the 8th floor, walking their way to Lily's apartment with a brisk pace. It was all calm and good until they notice the door to the apartment shoot open with a pair of loud girls arguing about who was more cute from Twilight, the werewolf or the vampire. Nina and Lily could only stare on dumbly as the two were clearly under the influence. The smell was undeniable.

"Whoa Lily's back!" Faith waved as she noticed Nina and blinked. "Wow, is this your date Lily?"

"Damn… what a cutie." Mikaela nodded approvingly with a clap. "Yes our Lily still gots it…"

Nina only bashfully answered. "T-thank you."

"Faith and Mikaela, this is Nina. She dances with me in the ballet studio." Lily introduced with a simple gesture of her hands. "Nina these are my childhood friends from San Francisco."

"Nice to meet you both." Nina waved.

"Say you're that girl who had that little incident months ago! I saw that shit on Youtube." Faith shook her head. "Yeah for sure it's you! Nina Blood Ballerina Sayers… right on!"

"Oh yes… so I've heard people are seeing this." Nina sighed, knowing all the people that have come up to her to confirm that was indeed Ms. Bleeding Ballerina herself. It was quite annoying. The fact that she had never even seen the video made her antsier.

"It was really a freaky video but you were dancing so awesome with that glass in you. You're getting more hits than that Chocolate Rain kid! How the hell did you dance with a wound like that?"

"I… I am not sure."

"H-hey girls! Can you not bring back bad memories please?" Lily scowled at them.

"N-no it's okay I almost want to see this video." Nina turned to Lily making her blink a couple of times. It was almost a huge error that Nina hadn't seen any of the footage of her dancing that night… let alone that last part.

"Hmm, anyway, we're going out now." Faith put on her coat limb to limb.

"Lily we met these two guys who were actually selling decent weed." Mikaela pulled out a bag of doobie as she smiled. "They're taking us out for White Castle and then we're going for karaoke."

"Wow you two met some cute guys already?" Lily was pulling Nina along to the door.

"Yeah, these two crazy dudes Harry and Kumen… or uh… I forget their names. They're not really cute actually." Faith shrugged. "Hah, we just want free weed." The two girls gave each other a high five.

"If both of us gotta shake some ass for some free grass? It's already done." Mikaela tosses Lily the bag. She catches it in a hesitant gaze. "We're getting more tonight. We wanted to save some for you because this East Coast stuff sucks. Have some fun with it with your cute Nina right there."

Lily takes a look at Nina, staring at her for a second as it was a blank stare. Nina didn't really have the most accepting body language. She turns to Mikaela and suddenly tosses the bag back. "Hey why don't you two gals have fun with that? I think I've burned enough brain cells for the past few months as it is."

Nina could only smile as she looked down towards the floor, squeezing Lily's hand almost like she was encouraging it. Faith and Mikaela only blinked as they ultimately shrugged.

"Alright Lily… but you're missing out." Faith walked off with a wave.

"Huh, I think we better call like those Alien encounters people." Mikaela followed as the two girls made off. "I think someone took Lily and replaced her with a look-a-like clone. She gave me back a free bag of doobie snacks."

Lily could only shake her head in dumb amazement as she watched her two old friends make off to yet another night of debauchery. One she wasn't going on for once. Nina was quite amused to say the least, stroking Lily's hand... so proud of her.

"You have nice friends." Nina laughed. "Is everyone from San Francisco that-"

"Eccentric?"

"Yeah…"

"Nope… we're a special breed for sure." Lily smiled, nudging her. "Come on let's go inside…"

"Lily, I want to see that video…" Nina said it with a sure voice, following with a ginger walk.

"You sure…?" Lily didn't want any demons brought back, holding Nina and guiding her.

"Yes…"

"Fine… then welcome to my humble abode. Tadaa!"

- B – B – B -

Coats off and sexy dressed on, after clearing the bongs and ordering take out Lily's favorite Chinese restaurant she set up the living room table with some fruit drinks and her laptop. Nina sat comfortably as she was joined, the two side by side and going through the YouTube channel with Lily's swift computer hands. She was a social network freak and Nina could tell.

"Lily the Tutu Goddess?" Nina read her screen handle with a giggle, giving her one of those looks.

"Sweet name… I know." Lily pulled up a few files now playing the video with a click of the touch pad. "Okay here goes."

The video played. Nina watched the little square moving image, the music distorted but the picture surprisingly clear. It's zooming in as everyone was almost silent, watching the ballet take place in its epic glory. It pulls into the stage and frames a Nina that was dancing without a hitch or struggle… almost ignoring the pain. It shouldn't have been possible for anyone to do this what that wound. It just wasn't something that could be ignored… but she did it. She sees the pain in her own face… the real pain that she remembers wasn't from the glass. It was from what she realized she had become…

"That night was just so strange…" Lily whispered, stroking Nina's back to comfort her. "You were so wonderful that we were all so happy. But when we found you bleeding on the bed… and the medics came in. We were all just… it was just crazy. Like a real roller coaster."

People in the video begin to chatter as they see blood dripping down her ballet costume. A lay person would assume that it was just a fake theatrical display. But the people that went to these ballet shows knew better. They knew that in a Thomas Leroy production gimmicky props would never be used. There was a concern as Nina dropped from the high tower… after a few minutes of the loudest ovation the Lincoln Center had ever seen, medics could be seen rushing the sides of the stage.

"It's crazy to think that an inch to either the left or right you would've hit an artery that would've killed you instantly. Or if we were even a minute late." Lily frowned, caressing Nina's hair. "You'd be dead and I wouldn't even be able to talk to you right now. Let alone-"

"I was so lucky." Nina whispered, interrupting Lily, not wanting to talk down that road.

_Me… lucky…?_

"By the way if you ever do anything that stupid again I swear Nina I'm going to be pissed." Lily pulled her face to her. "I'm not living that shit over. If we're going to do this relationship thing you promise me nothing like this ever happens again! I know you're strong now but-"

Nina silenced Lily again now with a press of her lip against hers, a very cute peck. Lily flinched lightly, smiling at her semi aggressive move, feeling just a little light headed from the touch of soft mouths. New Nina… was playful.

"… The girl in that video, I can't even identify with her anymore. It doesn't even feel like me." Nina mutters as she reassured Lily. "It's not going to happen again… not now." She goes back to the video, replaying it yet again. Lily was content with that answer glancing down again as she continued to watch.

Nina was in a trance. She sat solemnly as she looked so closely, analyzing every detail and trying to piece together that night in her mind. Ever since her recovery she'd been so focused on the actual recovery she never really reflected on the moments that led up to her awakening. All that happened between Opening Night and the awakening at the hospital... with Lily at her side.

"Lily you barely knew me." Nina looked to her. "Why did you care so much? Why were you there for me? You told me because I was one of the dancers… but…"

"I don't even know." Lily stroked her. "Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was just that I liked you at first sight. I am not sure…"

Nina turned back towards the pixelated imagery again, not satisfied with the answer but at least she had something. The video was a window to the old Nina and she couldn't look away. To the Nina she left behind a while ago. She would never forget this Nina but this past was something she wasn't a part of anymore.

_I need to make it up to you…_ Nina thought to that image. Not a hallucination. The real image of herself_. I will make everything up to you for time lost._

"Wow you got so many hits Nina on this. You're like world famous now." Lily saw the hit count. "It's up to twenty million in about a month." She scratched her head. "You throw some blood on a cute ballerina and who knew you'd get so much exposure."

'I've been asked to do interviews and turned them all down." Nina shrugged. "I don't want to be remembered this way."

"… Nina what interviews?"

"CNN… NBC, CBS, I think… and that Oprah network…"

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Lily gasped in horror. "Nina you need to go on those! It would be great for our production. Heck it'd be great for ballet. You're making ballet actually somewhat relevant in the modern world again. I know it feels like they're just using you to exploit but… I think your story needs to be told."

"Maybe… I will now." Nina pondered about her future as she glanced down, noticing comments. "What are these?"

"Oh… on YouTube people can like… type what they think of your videos. They're comments. "

Nina looked down at a few.

_**Highest Rated Comments**_

_MrTsSon: Give a thumbs up if you think this ballerina is the hottest one you've ever seen! *440 Thumbs Up*_

_GagaLover69: Aw don't you just want to hold her? She's so cute! Poor girl! She's a fantastic dancer! GET BETTER NINA! *350 Thumbs Up*_

_LinkinParkFan22: My girlfriend forced me to go to this show. I was there. I so wanted to hate it but this Nina girl changed my tune. She's freaking amazing! I felt so bad when we heard the news about her. Thumbs up if you want to go see her when she's back! *225 Thumbs up*_

_JayandSilentBobFruit: She was dancing like that with a freaking piece of GLASS in her… is she the Terminator or some shit? Baddest ballerina bitch alive ya'll. *125 Thumbs Up* _

Nina and Lily only chuckled at the comments after reading a lot of them. Almost all of them were well wishes or funny comments praising her abilities or beauty. There were a couple of obscure posts that didn't get much attention but spoke to Nina deeply. Personal stories of people that had researched her mental problems and spoke out… were so touching. Stories about themselves, or about relatives, or about loved ones, or significant others… pushing themselves to the limits… forgetting what's really important in life.

Nina knew she had a story to tell now. To tell everyone she got passed all that and was now back and living her dream regardless of what happened. She just didn't expect so many people to care. Ballet was a small market crowd. It almost felt now that… she transcended it.

"Thank you for showing me this." Nina had a brighter smile on her for sure. "I had no idea so many people would actually care to see this."

"When someone as beautiful as you on stage that's already something to talk about." Lily complimented with a cool face.

"Now that's a better line." Nina laughed as she glanced at Lily. She had an appreciative stare as she held onto Lily's bare leg with no shame. "You know you're the reason I can even be thinking about these things right now?"

"Oi as much as you build me up, I think I had enough reminiscing for tonight." Lily closed the laptop without a request from Nina, getting closer to her as she crawled on her couch like a spider closing in on prey. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I am not sure…" Nina blushed, leaning back. "What are you thinking?"

"Guess co-Swan queen…" Lily kissed those tantalizing lips, now having Nina pinned into the couch with nowhere to go.

"mmm… cookies?"

"Something sweet huh? You're getting close." Lily stole another kiss with delight, her and Nina flashing a bit of tongue as she parted. "Is that enough of a clue?"

"C-can I get more… clues?"

"Hah, I'm thinking I _really_ want to try this with you." Lily looked down at her seriously, a dreamy eyed Nina Sayers nodding along. "If anyone can pull me into a real relationship that's worth a damn I know it's you."

"I wanted to hear that for too long…" Nina gently held Lily's neck in a lover's crane. "Now please stop talking and please kiss me…"

"Hehe, as long as you say please…" Lily gladly obliged to her cute little doll beneath, their make out session beginning with a passionate moaning French kiss that tickled as deep into their insatiable mouths as possible.

The date... was working for both of them.

- B – B – B -

_We all have a weakness,  
But some of ours are easy to identify.  
Look me in the eye  
and ask for forgiveness;_

_We'll make a pact to never speak that word again.  
Yes, you are my friend._

It was about 4:00 a.m. Lily opened those eyes slowly as she felt the warmth next to her, a breath that tickled her neck waking her up. The room smelled of sex as she felt the blankets and sheets around her coiled up and in disarray. Lily and Nina apparently had one wild night and for once she remembered all of it. She looks over in a slight whisper, Nina muttering some things she couldn't hear.

"Nina…" Lily whispered, looking at her cute face. "Are you awake?"

Nina doesn't reply as she was apparently in a deep dream. Her facial expression seemed happy enough, Lily assuming it was a nice dream to have. They were both naked under the sheets, Lily feeling them skin to skin, Nina being so smooth and those warm arms wrapped around her body in a hug. It felt so good… being this close. Heck, it felt good waking up without a hangover. It felt good being next to someone after sex that Lily actually cared about. Just remembering exactly what they did almost for hours was making Lily all excited again. She could feel it inside.

Every orgasm was a feeling she couldn't forget. Sober… clear… sex… at least with Nina was something she could never explain in words. Lily hadn't slept with anyone sober in God knows how long.

"… You're a fucking amazing catch aren't you Sayers?" Lily whispered at Nina, stroking her hugging arm gently, reminiscing on how far they've gotten from square one.

From the first bump at Lily's first practice, all the way to the last bump now on the bed, it was just a trip Lily would never fully believe happened. That frigid little girl that she grew so enticed with came from near death to the strong woman she was calling her lover… her serious lover right next to her. Lily felt the change in herself too. She didn't feel it was as dramatic as Nina but it was there like a lit candle ready to emerge.

She wanted to open up so badly. Nina her inspiration. She wanted to tell her everything.

_I hate talking about deep feelings and crap… but…_

Maybe now she could… when Nina couldn't hear or remember. She needed to vent somehow.

"Nina I came here from San Francisco to prove myself that I didn't need anyone to be close to me. That I didn't need anyone else to tell me how to live my life. That I was an unstoppable person and that anyone else connected to me would just drag me down."

Nina only murmured in her dream as a reply. It was so easy speaking to someone deeply when they couldn't reply. Just like it was when Nina was in the Hospital. Lily… had someone to confide and 'listen' to her.

"I failed so bad." Lily smiled. "I was so wrong and you proved me wrong… you cute little devil." She gently stroked Nina's shoulders, playfully walking along it like smooth mountains with her fingers. "You keep talking to me like I'm some sort of superhero when I didn't do anything really that amazing."

She wanted to kiss Nina so bad, but waking her just felt wrong.

"You're the amazing one." Lily was breathing more than speaking, staring Nina face to face. "You're the one who dealt with the worst… and came back… so… great."

_** Remember me like I am now…**_

"I said I can't recognize you but really you're still you… just better." Lily complimented as she adjusted herself so Nina's head could rest more comfortably. "Thank you for going through what you went through… because I needed this opportunity..."

_**"Do you even want this role?"**_

_**"Are you here just for a good time?"**_

_We all have something that digs at us.  
At least we dig each other.  
So when weakness turns my ego up  
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday._

"You suffered for me. I owe you everything too." Lily's eyes spilled appreciation. "Who knows if I never met you? If you kept the role and I never learned from it? You and this opportunity to dance on such an important stage… it's priceless." She stroked Nina's cheek. "You've done as much for me… as anyone's ever done in my life."

_**"I don't mind if Lily keeps the role. She deserves it more than anyone else."**_

"Life dealt you such shitty cards and you're still the best person I've ever met." Lily let out a breath and paused, leaning her head back in thought as if she had to be careful with these words even to herself. "… I guess I should be scared of commitment because of what's happened to me. But I'm also scared that my weakness will come back to hurt you…"

_**She's stronger than me…**_

"T-then again you make me feel stronger. You make me feel like I'm more than just that party girl Lily. Nina, I'd do anything for you and most importantly… I trust you…"

_**"You're the best Lily…"**_

"The minute I first met you… for some crazy reason… I felt like I wanted to hug you… to make you smile… to do anything and everything I could to make you happy." Lily blew a kiss. "I guess its fate. I guess… this… has to be… love right?"

Lily froze like a block of ice as she muttered the four letter word. It wasn't fuck and it wasn't shit but it was worse. A word she hadn't used in so long to anyone in a serious manner. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. The person sleeping next to her meant the world to her.

"I think… I do love you…"

What happened next felt like time froze now. Nina slowly opened her eyes staring at Lily. For a second Lily felt like her heart was stopped, gulping as she looked back into Nina's half closed eyes.

"D-did you say something to me?" Nina whispers.

"… No… I didn't. uh… just go back to sleep... Nina." Lily encouraged by shutting those eyes. "You have a big day tomorrow…"

"Okay… y-you… you… too… sleep Lily." Nina mumbled leaning forward and kissing Lily on the nose before laying her head down and eyes. Lily finally could breathe again as she smiled, pulling away and letting Nina lay on her pillow comfortably. She knew she couldn't sleep, pulling out her laptop and logging on while on her bed. She looked over towards her sleeping lover with one last look with a grin she knew would be stuck on her as long as they were together.

_I'm scared but I don't see how I can turn back anyway. You forced me on this road…_

"And I _love_ you for it…"

_If I turn into another?  
Dig me up from under what is covering,  
The better part of me  
Sing this song  
Remind me that we'll always have each other_

_When everything else is gone…_

- B – B – B -

Nina yawned as she stretched her arms out in front of the mirror, a yellow tape pulling around her lean chest looking at herself. She didn't remember the last time she looked this… healthy. Neither did Georgina apparently.

"Wow you gained back the weight you lost awhile back. Thank goodness because I was worried about that." Georgina sighed in relief.

"That's the greasy Chinese food we had last night Georgina. Told you grease is good for you!" Lily answered behind the hidden view of an _En Vogue_ magazine she was reading, sitting on someone's make up table… obviously she didn't care whose.

"I feel really good." Nina smiled at Georgina as she was doing final measurements.

"You don't know how happy we are to have you back Nina. Especially me. You have a glow to you now. It's nice."

"Thank you so I've heard… oh! Did you get my text yesterday about the adjustments me and Lily's costumes? Is it even possible?"

"Oh you know dear, I almost forgot. I had my old partner Serge to send me over some samples. I did read what you wanted and I have something here to show you might like. Hey Lily can you be a sweetie and go grab me that blue outfit on my desk?"

"Yes ma'am…" Lily was still reading the magazine intently, passing over the costume with a nonchalant hand off without really looking. Nina took the blue outfit and pulled it up to her body carefully analyzing it like a hawk.

"In a previous Sleeping Beauty production they needed a quick costume change from a light blue one to a pure white. You see, you just twist the top little lock on the chest and then you can pull it off in less than a few seconds."

"… Wow, this is perfect." Nina put it against her body, practicing by doing, Lily peaking over as she watched Nina switch from blue to white, pulling the fabric away. Georgina and Lily shared a little glimpse at one another, both equally impressed with this new passion finding Nina.

"You're a changed person Ms. Sayers." Georgina laughed. "Don't be upset but I used to get depressed looking at you."

"I'm sorry Georgina. I did not meant to be a downer." Nina did a little ballet twirl with a nice smile, grabbing the uniform, tearing it from blue to white again.

"Hey that's pretty cool I have to admit." Lily put her magazine down. "I am guessing you're gonna make something like that-"

"From white to black." Nina clapped joyfully, hugging Georgina. "You're the best!"

"Anything for you or Lily." Georgina laughed in return hug. "Thing is, this gets a little more expensive hun. You have to run it by Thomas to do these hybrid ballerina outfits. Especially rush orders."

"Right…" Nina was too excited to contain herself she didn't even care about that. The three in this room knew it. Being part of the creative process was definitely her calling.

"You know we as an ensemble should just do the whole dance butt naked." Lily spoke genius. "It saves money. And a lot more people will show up…"

Georgina and Nina just turned to Lily blinking with accusatory stares of a bad idea suggested.

"What? I'm just sayin'."

"Heh, it's actually alright by me… I get paid either way." Georgina commented dryly as Nina and Lily laughed in combo.

"Hey guys!" Lynn suddenly busted into the clothing department breathing heavy. "Lily and Nina you guys have to come look at what's happening outside and in the lobby!"

"What's wrong?" Nina asked concerned.

"Come on! Let's just go!" Lily got up as Lynn shot out like a bee after a flower.

- B – B – B –

All of the ballerinas were in shock as they crowded around the largest window in the room. Lily and Nina were just two of the group now, looking out the window from the highest vantage point of the Lincoln Center seeing pandemonium outside the building. News vans and TV vans littered the lot, press, paparazzi, and the whole 9 yards stack together like a sack of sardines. The security of the building seemed to be pushing them back, making it look like a battle for position.

"This has to be all for Nina." Madeline commented as she turned back. "The press is out to get you again."

"Who let out word that Nina got back so fast?" Lynn asked.

"I certainly didn't." Thomas scowled as he joined his group. "One of our overzealous sponsors let the word out early once he caught wind of some internet buzz. He just gave me a call. He says tickets have sold out for the last remaining shows and they're getting an uncontrollable amount of orders."

"This leaked through internet?" Nina gave it careful thought. "B-but… how?"

"Ummm…"

Everyone heard Lily mutter as they turned to her.

"I kind of… made you a Twitter Account last night without asking… and um… sent out a message saying you're back."

"Lily!"

"B-but h-hey! Didn't you hear? Ticket sales are off the charts! We sold out the rest of the shows! That's good!"

"But that wasn't _me_ posting! That was _you_!"

"Well… now you _can _post." Lily smiled innocently to a flustered Nina.

"It gets more complicated than that I am afraid." Thomas seemed a bit flustered himself, probably the most he's ever been. "I'm getting pressured by those involved in the studio to expand the production. They want to move the ballet towards a bigger venue based on the volume of interest." He cursed in French for a good measure. "I am just a choreographer. This is bullshit I do not want to deal with."

"What bigger venue?" Lily asked.

"Madison Square Garden…"

The whole ballet squad went into shock, looking at one another in disbelief.

"You're telling me Nina's return generated that much interest?" Lily looked over to her lover with a shrug.

"The marketing department was just funded exponentially overnight." Thomas sighed. "I've never been a part of something like this before honestly. This is out of my grasp. They want Nina to go on a press tour almost. Blasphemy. This is ballet! They are turning this into Hollywood… something I didn't sign up for."

"Thomas we can't let this opportunity slip. The people want a powerful story to cling onto. They eat that shit up like apple pie!" Lily turned to the group. "We can finally do something that's beyond the normal damn old crowd. Something really awesome."

"Ahem… that is my crowd…" Thomas cleared his throat.

"Okay my bad! I love that crowd! They've been feeding me for years. But Nina has an appeal to her that kind of goes beyond that." Lily was the most excited by far. "Imagine guys, we can push ballet almost main stream here in New York. Madison Square Garden? That fits at least 15,000 people. I mean wasn't Eminem just there last week?"

"S-so… what do we do? Do we just re-organize the show?" Lynn asked curiously.

"Our sponsors see money and apparently they want us to go all out and revamp the show for a mainstream audience." Thomas shrugged. "The demographic of people calling went from 40 and above, all the way down to kids in their 20s. It's not normal and I agree with Lily… it is an opportunity. I just don't see where my expertise fits in all this."

"This is… nuts." Nina whispered.

"I will be honest. I am a purist but it seems my hands are tied because you all also want to do this. You all did such a wonderful job for my production… I leave it in your hands. This is more than a Thomas Leroy production as far as I am concerned. The sponsors will be heavily involved. Politics…"

"Does this mean we have to redesign the show?" Nina asked with a sparkle in her eye.

"If we decide to do this we finish out our contract here at the Lincoln which is one more show. And then we'll have about a month and a half to prepare a new version of Swan Lake for at least four performances at Madison Square Garden. A lot of work."

"I say we do it now!" Lily raised her hand, everyone around them instantly agreeing with her. "Guys this doesn't come around very often. You all know it."

"Performing in front of all those people? And possibly younger ones for a change? Who isn't in needs to be slapped." Madeline clapped as Lynn hugged her happily.

"What do you say Nina?" Lily held her hands. "You think you're up for it?"

"Of course. I'll do anything to push this." Nina turned to the choreographer than began this awakening in her. "I want this Thomas. I think it's something we cannot turn our backs on."

"Yes, this new you does indeed seem to be a bit more daring." Thomas looked around at his group, as what he was so used to was being taken away. "I guess it's time all of us have to get up and do something different. It settles it. I will call the sponsors back and say they have our full backing. I am warning you when something gets this big, just know there will be much more work and much more hassles for the entire production."

"We're prepared Thomas." Nina nodded on behalf of the team, the rest agreeing as well the same. "We're not afraid."

"Then I'll let them know of our decision."

"Guys, we're fucking in MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!" Lily yelled out as the entire ensemble had as much adrenaline and blood rushing through them as they ever had. They were hugging, kissing, and yelling out in youthful exuberance. This was unheard of for any ballet ensemble. Even for ones led by Thomas Leroy.

"I'm getting too old for this." Thomas sighed as he stood next to Nina, the two probably being the calmest of the bunch. "You've turned this production upside down Nina. It doesn't even feel like my creation any longer. This is more… the ensembles project. The minute you returned from your… incident. I knew something would happen."

"You know me Thomas I am a fan of the purity of ballet as well. But when an opportunity arrives to grow this art form again? I don't think we should waste it. I'll sacrifice all my time if this will help us bring awareness back to ballet. I want the young crowd to understand the beauty of it again. To understand why Lily and I and the rest of these men and women sacrifice our bodies to do this night after night. Besides, you can add to your legend…"

Thomas couldn't believe he was listening to Nina Sayers.

"Heh, you sound like me when I was young and full of ambition." Thomas chuckles turning. "What other surprises do you have for me Ms. Sayers?"

"I want to do something special. Something the world has never seen." Nina answered plainly with a smile but with an unlimited amount of ambition. "I want people to be blown away by what we have in store. I know you can use my help in this Thomas. I've learned from the best… you. Let me help you reach a crowd that you've had little experience with."

Thomas stared at her hesitant to answer. Nina waited for something… anything.

"Then you and I have a lot of work to do now don't we?" Thomas walked off with a simple statement, adding another hint as if he was seeing something in Nina that perhaps could be her future. "I do not envy your schedule now Nina. It will be rough. Not easy."

"I've been through the worst, don't worry about me." Nina answered as he left only to be held from behind by Lily, the darker haired one stroking her sides gently.

"This was crazier than I thought… can you handle this?"

"Will you be by my side..?"

"Does Britney Spears lip sync?"

"Then let's just have fun doing it." Nina smiled.

"Hmmm Nina, did I mention that I like the new you?"

"… Not nearly enough."

- B – B – B –

_**All the ballerinas and ballerinos of the Swan Lake production were on stage feeling the camaraderie, Nina and Lily in the front reading a script they had. The whole cast were apparently preparing for a commercial shoot.**_

_Veronica: Hey um did you guys read the lines we have to say?_

_Madeline: Definitely not original or fun or anything that would make me want to go watch 2 hours of us prancing around._

_Lily: Damn this is fucking lame. Who wrote this?_

_Nina: Maybe, we should just do this and get it over with. We have a lot of work to do for the show. This is just a commercial._

_Lily: Just a commercial? We have four shows at the MSG to sell out Nina. We have no time to half ass a commercial! *She turned to camera* Hey you, who's in charge here?_

_Voice Off Camera: Well-_

_Lily: Well it doesn't matter. *Lily walked towards the cameraman.* I am going to make some changes to the script. We want people to actually show up and watch don't we?_

_*Static*_

_**Swan Lake MSG – Commercial 1 – Take 4**_

_*The screen is all black, a Nina in all white walking to center stage in casual wear, getting into first position, and beginning her graceful dance across the black background. Suddenly as the camera pans Lily walks into the side, dressed casually in a long white coat.*_

_Lily: Hold it! Don't touch that remote control! Trust me! I know what you're thinking. Who gives a donkey's behind about ballet? Isn't that for little girls and old people to kill 2 hours of their night? Isn't it for the snooty old geezers with too much money on their hands? Isn't it for little prissy girls only?_

_*Nina kept dancing furiously, showing the whole repertoire amazingly. Even a novice could tell she didn't move like any ballerina.*_

_Lily: Let me convince you good people otherwise. I'm the co-ballet lead Lily and behind me is YouTube sensation and co-lead Nina Sayers. The best and cutest ballerina in the world with a past you have to hear to understand. She's hot. She's talented. And she has the lightest toes you'll ever see... and she has a cute toush._

_*The camera cuts to Nina with an annoyed face at the last statement, Lily winking. The whole ensemble began to follow in randomly all in casual practice wear from all over the place, dancing in sync with Nina now.*_

_Lily: Behind her is the best ensemble in the world taught by the legendary Thomas Leroy. We're doing Swan Lake like you've never seen it before and it's going to be the show of your life. Ladies come on down to see glamour you only thought Lady Gaga had. Fellas? Trouble with the love life? Take your ladies because they'll love you for it! You're still not with me on this? Still don't believe me you should go?_

_*All of the dancers began to strip off their clothing like a college after party, tossing it off the screen and all over the stage Lily and Nina included. Slowly but surely and sensually donning their skimpy ballet outfits they had planned for the show. Close ups of skin, lips, legs and service shots were a bit excessive but no one would complain. They all posed like showgirls... led by a sultry looking Nina and Lily in front.*_

_Lily: … For those crazies that still don't want to see us? *She shrugged, walking over to the side as the camera moved with her, showing a group of bird creature dressed dancers crossing their arms*_

_Birds: Sup?_

_*The camera slid back to a snug Lily*_

_Lily: Brilliant Ballet. Bodacious Ballerinas. Big freaking Birds… need I say more?_

_**This message has been paid for by the Leroy New York Ballet Company.**_

_**Tickets on sale at Ticketmaster and MSG Box Office now!**_

_

* * *

_**A/N: **First chapter of the no more beating down on Lily and Nina chapter... and it feels great. Haha. I love them so much! :)

There is supposed to be a sex scene in the middle of the chapter but that will be next chapter folks... intertwined with plot. Just the way we like our sex reading right?

One or two more chapters and this arc is done. I've been on a writing roll as far as non writer's block... hence the frequent updates. I don't know if there will be a sequel but for those who want one let me hear it. I was either going to do a direct sequel (based on Lily's past) or an AU story of the Black Swan movie... set in high school. Not sure yet but I'd love to hear what you guys want.

Much love!


	12. Act XI: Waiting For The End

**Act XI: Waiting For The End**

"_It sounds silly but ask any performer. You can't lie when you put yourself completely into your performance on stage. Words can be hidden but the performance can't. For a dancer? Dancing is the truest form of expression and yourself. The body speaks louder than words." – Nina Sayers, Diane Sawyer Interview on ABC. _

- B – B – B -

"You have to believe me. Lily can throw it down."

"No way she can."

"Yes way! Five bucks she can."

"Look dude, Lily impresses me? Five bucks is yours."

"Hey Lily!"

Silence.

"Hello?"

Only more silence.

A moody piano and a deep sophisticated voice. The signatures of soft jazz were all Lily could hear. Her ears couldn't pick up her peer's cries when she had _Frank Sinatra_ love songs drowning them out. Indeed Lily felt cheesy. Of course she felt a bit corny. But really she couldn't deny she felt so damn warm inside, even with the freezing temperatures outside New York. Nina was making her so happy. Nina was reenergizing her. Nina was actually making her stupid enough to listen to love songs.

Only a physical nudge from Terry got her attention, Lily taking off her black hoodie and peering over with her curious gaze.

"Hey Lily, Ben here doesn't think you can freestyle. Lay one down for us like you did at the party a couple weeks ago."

"Oh God, I'm not high… it's not going to be the same." Lily shook with a laugh of denial towards Terry as she was sitting on top of a biking rail, leaning against a cement wall. The ballerinos and ballerinas who were interested deflated like popped balloons. This long wait outside Madison Square Garden's security area just got worse.

"Gah, party foul!" Terry frowned and booed as he was egging her on with pleading eyes. "Come on! I'll beat box and you just go. Heck, let's film it and continue this little viral Swan Lake thing you got going."

"… Beg me."

"We've been waiting outside in the cold for Thomas for ten minutes now. Make it worth it! Please!"

Lily was never such a complainer if someone wanted her to entertain.

"Give me a beat good."

"Yes! Hey Rick film this!"

Lily lazily leaned back giggling, trying to get into her "zone" for her friends, putting her hoodie back on for the "hip hop" effect. Ben pulled a small handheld camera and frames her as Terry gave her a beat that any true beat boxer would be ashamed of. It was in rhythm though to be fair. And that's all Lily needed as she thought for a few seconds, still laughing at herself from the mere thought of her quote unquote skills.

"Okay, one run just for fun. It might suck… wish me luck." Lily began bobbing her head compressing her smile of the freestyle to unfold.

_In San Francisco my peeps call me "for really" Lily.  
When I pick up the mic, my rhymes get kinda silly.  
Listen to me spit fire 'cause it'll make you sick and hurl.  
What do you expect from a little dancing prissy white girl?_

_I'm here for Swan Lake, I'm here to not give but only take.  
Someone cool me down 'cause I'm too hot for goodness sake.  
I plié, I screw and leave em, I'm a certified hip-hoperina.  
If you don't believe me? Just call my home girl Nina._

_Don't hate the Black Swan! Just hate the friggin' game!  
The White Swan lost her man 'cause she's just so damn frickin' lame…_

"Gah! I'm so bad!" Lily had to stop in chuckles because she couldn't be _serious_ anymore, leaning back in self-deprecating amusement. It didn't matter because the boys had apparently their fill.

The ballet group was already beside themselves at first rhyme, hearing their little clever Swan Queen belt a hip hop poem off the top of her head was indeed a highlight. Rick couldn't bare it anymore, shaking the camera, bringing the shoot to a stop as all the ballerinas and ballerinos were cracking up uncontrollably. Ben tossed Terry the five bucks… conceding due to entertainment reasons.

"Are you done yet Ms. Kanye West?"

With always the best timing Lily turned to see Thomas and the now opened entryway to their new ballet home. The ballet ensemble cheered like the Berlin Wall had fallen. The warmth from the stadium rushed out like a backdraft. They were now high-tailing it inside as if it was the Running of the Bull.

"Ladies first…"

"For me my boss just held the door. I'm thinking with me he just wants to score." Lily finished with a content smile. "Okay… Ms. West is done now…"

"As much as you frustrated me early, you always did know how to flap those gums of yours amusingly." Thomas glanced around. "Where is your _friend_ Nina?"

"Uh my _friend _Nina will be here." Lily answered smoothly but annoyed at the gumption. "She said she had to make a stop."

"I see." Thomas walked side by side with Lily down the long hallway to their upgraded venue as the hints did not stop. "So does she stay at your place or vice versa?" He asked snugly and proud like a child (a manly child) who knew a big secret. How forward and awkward was this going to get?

"Excuse me?" Lily peaked over with concerned eyes.

"I've been noticing you two becoming quite close."

"Well keep on noticing and don't speak about it."

"I'm just wondering, no harm meant." Thomas laughed to himself, his true intentions of course always that hazy line. "It's simple mathematics. The minute Nina was in the hospital you were there. Now you two are inseparable and feed off one another. One is happy the other is happy. One is sad the other is sad. I watched you two dance on stage. You cannot lie when you perform that way. You two were not… faking it."

"So what's your point?" Lily shrugged. "We're getting along. Two ballerinas in your production getting along. I know usually we're all supposed to be catty but-"

"Just hold onto her carefully." Thomas smirked with a not so intent clear statement. "… She's a good one."

Lily didn't even answer as Thomas seemed to shoot an analysis beam straight through her soul. He was saying the right things but it was always a bit… off in his delivery. He knew about her relationship Nina but his pompous accent made her almost want to believe he was wrong. Thomas Leroy was such a polarizing figure even in the smallest of ways. Lily still couldn't figure him out. Did he care for Nina in a loving way? Was he just out to unleash her talents? He was one of the few who visited Nina… but was that guilt?

_Then again my relationship with her might have started as a guilt trip too._

"Whatever is happening between me and Nina is our deal." Lily kept walking, now a bit faster. "I didn't go to you poking and prodding when everyone thought you two were hooking up."

"Calm down. As long as you two do a great job I see no problem with it." Thomas cleared it up. His smile was either one of a perverted man thinking of two beautiful women getting it on or such a calm cool one. Maybe it was a smile of evil… jealousy.

"It's always about the show… we know." Lily sighed as she wanted to stop thinking about this.

"Strange. You act as if I'm going to pull out a glove and smack you across your face for her hand just like in Old France." Thomas chuckled amused.

"Uh… no because if you did that? We all know where I'm going to stick that glove up right afterwards just like in Old America." Lily shot back with some sting.

Thomas could only look on bemused. He knew not to mess with Lily's feistiness. Not that he was afraid of a 95 pound fireball but he needed every bit of that to motivate her inner Black Swan for his own gain. "By the way, if we're both tired Lily of speaking of the old ways, welcome to your new stage."

The sight of magnificence definitely stopped Lily's thought process and annoyance. In front of the stage she barely sees her peers in the same awe and excitement, bouncing around and looking at the venue they were going to perform in. The stage was being built at the moment at furious pace, surrounded by so many seats that were stacked almost to the rafters. This was where the New York Knicks played, this is where all the big musicians played, and they were going to perform here! A ballet ensemble!

"This is incredible." Lily muttered.

"Nina had a lot to do with the design… you should know." Thomas glanced around as well much calmer.

"I… I know I just… even her descriptions can't… do this justice." Lily turned to Thomas, looking at him with a shifted vibe. Even with all his faults and his hidden goals, the way he let Nina get into his world was kindness. Unless he was trying to woo her over to his side? Lily was very appreciative of this as well.

"You just let Nina into your zone so fast Thomas. This isn't normal Leroy protocol is it?"

Thomas crossed his arms, looking at Lily seriously. "I know you don't believe me but I do care for Nina beyond the show. I thought I proved that the minute I never left her side at the hospital bed. You did the same. Regardless of what Nina thinks of either of us, we should at least have that clear."

"Your heart sounds there but your methods sometimes really make me question you." Lily was always careful with him, much more so than any other Swan Queen he had taken advantage of. "Don't you regret? Don't you wonder sometimes if it's-"

"Life has no time for regret." Thomas answered plainly. "Nina inspired me when she found the strength to come back to the production. Now I am letting her go as far as she can go. She wants to learn the ways behind the scenes? I will support her."

Lily gave him a simple nod, trying to decipher Thomas was like her relationship with a Rubix Cube. "Well either way, thank you for letting her do this. I've never seen her so happy."

"Well, thank you for saving her." Thomas mentioned with a shake of his head, the two going from heated debate to friendly banter in two seconds flat. They were so similar to one another, physically dominating and intelligent figures. Nina felt both of that dangerous combination at her worst. Neither of them dominated the other. Their similarities would of course lead to clashes but there was a respect there that was unspoken. The fact they were both interested in Nina… well…

"Now go enjoy the stage your 'friend' helped create."

"Don't have to tell me twice."

"That's a nice change."

Lily grinned as she walked out towards the main stage with the inner child in her wanting to ogle the entire area down. It was gorgeous and magnificent in scope and in design. The stage was seared in black and white, being drawn of any type of real color, matching the noir look Nina wanted. The castle set was almost complete, being almost as tall as a real castle would be. Across Lily notices the "lake" that was being built for the finale and intro sections, the deep blue mechanism that simulated water using lights being just surreal.

Everything and anything in the set design had a key theme to it. Reflections… there was reflections everywhere. The stage almost looked like a set of mirrors, even the lake itself having a little 'waterfall' that would act as a reflective surface. Nina said she wanted to "Live the Nightmare" again and let people feel it. This Swan Lake was going to be much more intense than any previous incarnation for sure.

"Whoa, Beth!"

Lily suddenly turned as the entire group rushed over towards the entry way at Madeline's yell, Thomas looking the most shocked out of any person there naturally. Not only had Nina arrived but apparently she had brought a surprise with her. Lily was in disbelief but in total amazement of her girlfriend. She thought Beth and Nina weren't really talking.

"I brought a special guest with me everyone." Nina was pushing her wheel chair to the ballet crowd.

"It's nice to see you all... wow… this set is amazing!" Beth was so enthused, looking far from the broken wreck she was last seen, at least in her face. Her legs were disabled now but apparently her spirit was somewhat healed to that dancer the world remembered. Her youth… was partly there.

"Beth we missed you!"

"How come you didn't come sooner?"

"How have you been?"

The answers kept coming, the ballerinas were all hugging Beth in seconds like bees to honey, pampering her to near suffocation. All of them were laughing and joking around remember old times. Nina gave a little wink towards her idol and Beth returned the gesture, walking towards Lily and Thomas quite satisfied.\

Not everyone was as ecstatic.

"Nina, why did you bring her here?" Thomas scowled.

"You seem angry." Nina blinked innocently. "I only thought it was natural to bring the person who carried your production for so long to a new venture. She should at least have the opportunity to see what it has become now right?"

"… Nina, I respect that but you're being-"

"I'm being fair." Nina seemed a bit bitter in her finish, looking at Thomas with eyes that barely resembled the frigid girl he once knew. "I've met so many sides of you that I don't know which is real. The Thomas that I look up to as a choreographer is the one I respect and care for. The Thomas that taught me lessons? Confused me and scared me. The Thomas that Beth has spoken about? …"

"Nina quiet!" Thomas threateningly pointed at her. "Do not speak another word."

"I don't need to." Nina shrugged. "You know what I was going to say."

"How can you do this to me after all I've done for you?"

"Oh but I did this because of that Thomas." Nina walked up to him, with a curled and cranked neck. "Somewhere deep down there is a man that is unmatched. But somewhere deep down there is also a man that has many things wrong with him. The way you treated me to bring the Black Swan out. You think I forgot? … I was willing to forgive you… but when Beth told me of the same things…"

"Alright… alright…" Thomas stopped her by holding her by her shoulders. "I get it…"

"Do you?" Nina stood tall, glancing through those blue but mysterious eyes. "I don't even want to know how many girls have been lured in by that wonderful man, only to be finished off by the one that is a creep."

Nina had a pent of fury in her. She could only think when Thomas was seducing her in the studio, kissing her so deeply, his hands against her inner thigh, breasts, and crotch. She thought she was in love but she was only in love with the feelings. She knew herself too well now. The fact he left her there confused… just like she did to Beth at the first reception of the season, made her furious.

"So you wish for me to air out all my problems here in a professional place?" Thomas growled at her.

"Where else do you go? You never stop working." Nina rolled her eyes. "You hide here behind your desk and choreographer status. You hide behind your professional self. Taking no responsibility for what you do to the personal lives of others. You're a great artist but that's not enough. I can't continue looking past your wrongs after talking to Beth. You're not the man I wanted to think you were."

"… I've created a monster." Thomas grumbled as he looked away, letting Nina go.

"We've created a monster." Lily finally chimed in, smirking in total amusement. Watching Nina stand up to the boss… was just a speechless moment.

"Thomas I appreciate you so much. I don't agree with your philosophy but you helped me come out of my shell. You were at my side when I was in the hospital. Why were you barely on Beth's side?" Nina prodded for the answer with no hesitation. "She loved you. She cared for you. She would do anything for you."

"I pushed her away so you could have a clear path without any-"

"Again with the work!" Nina couldn't believe it. "You act like a child. Just because you are the great Thomas Leroy does not make you any less responsible for your actions."

Thomas stayed quiet for once, shaking his head as this Nina was just something he couldn't even grasp. On one hand he wanted to shut her mouth. On the other he cared for her very much. The sad thing out of all this… was he knew what she was saying was true. His ego. His strength. His macho exterior… it was all a barrier.

"Perhaps I could have handled… my relationship with Beth more smoothly." He muttered under his breath.

"You can still fix it. If I could do it… so can you." Nina cleared his pathway to Beth. "Let me handle the practice today. Please talk to her Thomas… it would mean the world to me. I know somewhere inside you there is a man that I can look up to again. I want to look up to you."

Thomas began cursing in French again as he paced back and forth, no one ever challenging him like this. It was so alien. It was so strange. It was so aggravating. He felt guilty. He felt guilty for Nina's situation and he felt bad for Beth. Hiding behind all his power and reputation thinking the rules didn't apply to him. In his mind he was a hero to these women, giving them chances of a lifetime and "improving" them… but perhaps he took it too far.

"F-fine… I will speak to her but I will not promise anything good from this Ms. Sayers." Thomas said with a wounded man's ego.

"It's okay to be uncertain." Nina crossed her arms. "Do as you told me to do whenever I was frail and confused…"

"And what is that?"

"… Attack it…"

Thomas just stared at her for a few seconds, almost in disbelief at what just occurred. This Nina was strong. This Nina was wise. Too much of either really. But she still had a sweetness in her that wouldn't let him get so angry. Thomas put some of the blame on himself deep down in his conscience for her near death. From her words, she meant well with this and Thomas knew it. Perhaps this was a wakeup call that he needed to drop his ego for.

"You heard the lady Thomas." Lily smirked, pointing at Beth's direction. "Seduce it…"

"The intensity of practice better not drop off." Thomas more or less ignored Lily and just nodded at Nina, turning around and walking towards Beth and the entire group in a proud man's walk, parting the sea of people. The two shared a glance that was making everyone kind of hold their breaths.

_**"Beth you were my hero. I looked up to you in every way possible. I want us to be friends but I am not forcing anything."**_

_**"Look Nina, obviously I wasn't in the right state of mind when the switch happened. Heck, when I heard what happened to you on Opening Night, I wasn't cheering I'll tell you that much. You were always so frigid but I knew you could dance. When I saw you dance my old role? I cried. I cried because I knew you were better than me."**_

_**"You will always be the best dancer in the world to me. I just wanted you to approve of me. That's all."**_

_**"… Thank you. You are… a sweetheart. You and Lily did a great job of picking up where I left off. Making it even better in fact. That fuck face Thomas doesn't deserve it but you two have my support. I'm happy at least one of us can continue to dance. Hell yes… I approve of you."**_

Thomas merely walked behind Beth in silence, taking her wheelchair and rolling the two out of the main entrance so they could be alone, the two beginning to slowly chat a conversation no one would ever hear. Nina knew Thomas probably felt emasculated at the moment, but honestly for those that _really _knew, this was probably the most courageous act he'd done in far too long. Lily was one of them and took a glance at her girlfriend, still just the fly on the wall.

"Since when did you become Cupid?"

"I don't know if they're in love but they need closure either way." Nina said it seriously. "You can't leave wounds open and bleeding like they had."

Lily wouldn't argue with the expert at that.

"Huh, you are like… the perfect woman or something." Lily got off the table in a rabid hurry; hugging her so tight Nina wanted to gag. The more promiscuous one already had a couple of hands groping all over… making Nina moan too much for comfort.

"G-gah, L-Lily… we're supposed to be professional here." Nina's eyes were wide open pulling away with a biting tongue.

"I know… I know… but you telling Thomas off like that and showing him the error of his ways…" Lily whispered. "God… I just want to fuck you so bad right now. That was a huge turn on."

"I… uh… well… if we have a good practice today…" Nina whispers back happily hearing she was exciting her partner. "Then you will get your wish…"

"… Score…" Lily smiled only to blink. "Hey. Are you trying to motivate me with sex again?"

"… I don't think anything else works nearly as well with you am I right?"

"Point taken…"

- B – B – B –

Forever the mischievous student Lily watched on stage with careful eyes as Nina was standing behind the simulated waterfall, going through the White Swan motions with perfect precision. Of course Lily had her eyes on another 'perfect' aspect. Nina's nice and tight rear never got old.

"You know having you as a choreographer just is so much better." Lily fawned in exaggeration. Nina turned her head to say thank you, only to notice where Lily's eyes were.

"Oh come on Lily. Concentrate." Nina regrouped and centered herself again with a huff. "We both know the White Swan variation so well I think we can match each other on stage perfectly while looking. The only issue is-"

"When I have my back towards you." Lily was already on the same page.

"Right. We're going to have to trust our knowledge in the music and be perfectly in sync blindfolded."

"Piece of cake. I know you better inside out than I know my own hand… which has ironically been inside you. Hah."

"Do you always have to go back to the sex while we're here? What is wrong with you?" Nina poked in angry whisper, not wanting the other girls to hear.

"Ow, no need to get rough now." Lily sighed. "You seem a little stressed. We don't want you to be stressed."

"I… I know… it's just this is so much work." Nina breathed deeply. "So much to worry about."

"Hey maybe we need a break or something. We don't need to travel down roads that we've covered up." Lily smiled.

"Well there's a couple I need to still…"

"LADIES LADIES LADIES! YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR HAS ARRIVED!"

"What now?" Lily glanced over towards the entrance to see a well suited man walk towards them. He had a nice Gucci suit on with sun glasses and a cellphone to his head like it was glued on there. This was the uniform of a lawyer of some sort or a sleaze ball as Lily knew them by.

"Excuse me sir. Who are you?" Nina asked with a confused look.

"Nina baby. Lily darling. I'm the guy who's going to make you two into global superstars. You guys are hot. You guys are the it thing!" The dark curly haired young man certainly had bravado. "The name is Harry Osborn. Please to meet you both. I can already see you two becoming bigger than the Kardashians!"

"… He sounds like some sort of agent." Lily shrugged at Nina.

"Right on Lily I am your agent. I'm going to handle your soon to be exploding careers. We're going to get your names out there. We're going to let people see the real Lily and Nina."

"Uh, I don't think that's the best idea." Lily answered with a little mix of joke and gloom. "Who are you an agent for?"

"Have you ever heard of Rhianna? Snookie? Topher Grace? Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson?"

"Y-yeah… I've heard of them..." Lily tapped her foot.

"Well my friends are agents for them."

"Huh, impressive. S-so… you… wait a sec your friends? What?" Lily scowled.

"Uh Mr. Osborn, I am sure you mean well but we have a lot of work to-"

"Yes work is important and time is money. Right now we got a little promotion set up to get this show some exposure to the young male sitting at home. Now what do you young boys like?"

"Lesbians making out, beer, and not ballet." Lily answered to kill this young tike's groove.

"Y-yes… true Lily… but what they like is good old fashioned football too! Some pigskin. Some rough and tough guy sports!"

"Foot…ball?" Nina and Lily asked at the same time and in the same stupid tone.

"Yes my girls. Football players do ballet all the time to keep their balance and grace as you know. So Fox Sports wanted to do a joint promotion, letting you guys mingle with professional football players while teaching them some steps. Then they'll teach you football."

"Wow sounds kind of fun." Lily perked up.

"W-we don't have time for this!" Nina glowered. "Mr. Osborn please…"

"Oh come on Nina. We need a break. Everyone's been going at it really hard."

"I… guess."

"Ladies I give you your New York Football Giants!"

All the ballerinas who were practicing suddenly stopped, peering over to see a sight that would freeze a charging rhino. Ignoring the multitude of cameras that came in, watching 250 to 350 pound men running into the building in various skintight leotards of the rainbow and primped tutus were something that was just too much to bear. The entire football team was in their house ready to learn even against their will. The performers were definitely having their amused conversations at their expense.

"Hey ladies! How do I look?" One of the spunkier players began to prance, making his team chuckle.

"H-holy hell…" Lily gasped.

"This is ridiculous." Nina added her own two cents.

"Well does this job have hazard pay if one of those guys falls on us?"

"Ugh…"

- B – B – B –

Nina and Lily were skeptical but surprisingly it was a fun time with the Fox Sports cameras there. Watching the girls try to move the huge men into correct ballet positions, crawling underneath and manipulating their trunks for legs were ridiculous images never to be forgotten. A couple of football players were around Veronica at the moment, so intoxicated with her charm. An offensive lineman even had Madeline and Lynn up by one arm, swinging them around like they were nothing. Two total opposite worlds gelling perfectly… almost like Lily and Nina themselves.

Even Lily and Nina had a little moment.

_**"Okay Nina when I toss you the ball, you have to get to the end zone. Which is the stage."**_

_**"Uh okay…"**_

_**"What do I do now that she has the ball?"**_

_**"You Lily have to stop her from getting there. You need to tackle her."**_

_**"W-wait what?"**_

_**"Alright. Watch out Nina… here I come!"**_

_**"H-hey! I don't want to play this! Lily… no! No! I'm serious… g-get away!"**_

_**"Come on Nina! You're running the wrong way!"**_

"I can't believe you actually took me to the ground." Nina rubbed her ginger tail bone.

"I can't believe you made me chase you around the stadium. Haha… they got good footage at least." Lily nuzzled her as Nina could only shake her head.

"Excuse me both you kind ladies." A tall lanky player stepped up, his tutu color a nice pink. "My name is Chad Taylor I'm a wide receiver. I'm a big fan of the both of you."

"Really?" Lily crossed her arms as she didn't believe it. "And this isn't a lame pick up line?"

"Oh god no," Chad shook showing off his ring. "I'm a married man."

"The married ones are the most dangerous…" Lily shrugged. "But my bad…"

"Don't mind Lily, she's just not used to kind strangers." Nina extended her hand. "Thank you for supporting us."

"Well don't really thank me. I wanted you both to meet someone if you two don't mind." Chad waved behind him. "Come on baby, don't be shy. Let's go."

From the distance Lily and Nina could only break their professionalism in girly grins as apparently his wife was helping a young toddler over. She was the cutest girl you'd ever see, with dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes, plumping along on the ground also dressed in an entire matching ballerina outfit to her dad. She even had a cute little princess crown to boot.

"Oh my God, I apologize. You have such a cute kid!" Lily kneeled down as she closed on in. "Hello there!"

Nina could only smile warmly at the shyness as the young girl hid behind her mother, peaking over at Nina and Lily from time to time. It reminded Nina of her to a tee of her younger self.

"She's a little shy but she really loved it when we took her to the ballet performance." Chad smirked. "The wife wanted to get the kid hooked and it worked because of you two. This is my wife Cindy."

"Nice to meet you both. You were there on Opening night?" Nina asked curious.

"Yes actually… and we're all glad you're alright by the way." Cindy smiled. "You've been inspirational to my daughter and even my husband."

"Really?"

"Y-yeah a lot of time he'd fight through the aches and pain of football by saying if a Ballerina can do what you did, damn I better not cry because of this."

"… A little strange compliment but I understand." Nina grinned, kneeling down now with Lily trying to coerce the child to come forth. "H-hey we like your outfit. What's your name?"

"Laura…" The girl finally whispers.

"Laura. That's a nice name. Do you want to meet us?" Lily's kind smile made her nod slowly, eventually walking passed her mother's protection and towards them.

"She's so adorable." Nina looked up towards the parents. "How old is she?"

"A very smart four years old." Cindy rang proudly.

"Of course she's smart if she's a fan of Lily." The dark swan reached out gently and hugged the little girl, showing a bit of maternal instincts Nina had never seen. "So you like ballet huh?"

_Lily's such a softie when she wants to be._

"Y-yes…" Laura spoke very punctually.

"What's your favorite ballet?"

"S-swan Lake."

"She has extremely good tastes parents." Lily stated the obvious as Nina laughed in agreement. They were both reaching out to comb her head gently like she was a cute little puppy of some sort.

"She loves you both. I took her to your opening night, and she got to see Lily three times now." Cindy admired.

Chad only sighed. "Are you guys releasing a DVD? No offense… but I can't really sit through another one of those. I've seen the White Swan jump more time than I ever need to. Please make a DVD. Please!"

"I'll talk to my bosses about it." Nina calmed him down with a light laugh.

"Hey Laura can you dance for Nina and Lily?"

"Oh so the costume isn't just for show? Awesome! Dance away Laura!" Lily let her back down, encouraging as she only knew how. With a comfortable toddler's environment Laura began to swing around playfully, in her mind doing a spectacular job.

"T-this is the White Swan dancing! I don't like the Black Swan!"

Nina and Lily could only giggle to themselves in delight, watching the young child perform ballet as any four year old would. A bit crazily. A bit wildly. But she was having so much fun.

"She's having fun." Nina whispers.

"She's loving it." Lily stared on acutely. "I was just like this when I was her age. So cute I was."

"I know… I was the same... I don't know as cute though."

Nina and Lily have had conversations about the childish exuberance of their profession leaving them a while ago. They assumed it just came with the territory. Why couldn't they love ballet in the most innocent manner as they did in their youth? Does money, fame, and ego get in the way? Those… were horrible excuses. Lily put it quite poetically when she explains the moment when that innocent love of ballet was gone.

_**"When we became conniving bitches."**_

Laura finally finished with a nice cute pose imitating the White Swan, both of the ballerinas clapping loudly at her dramatic conclusion.

"Bravo young lady… you are a great White Swan. Thomas would say you are perfect." Lily clapped with much bravado, mimicking the many chorographers she's had in the past.

"Laura I think you deserve something for your great performance." Nina walked a few feet back, reaching into her bag, pulling out a pair of new ballerina shoes to return. "If you fit them please wear these when you become the best dancer in the world okay? I want to tell everyone she is wearing my shoes."

"Okay!" Laura said simply not understanding totally, smiling at Lily and Nina as she took the shoes quite happily. Both the Swan Queens couldn't help but think of their childhood again. They couldn't help but remember that they were living dreams they once had. To dance this make believe world professionally. To be watched and adored and to live as a ballerina. They've reached their dreams… why the nightmares to deal with now?

"You girls are really dolls." Cindy smiled. "She's wanted to meet you two for the longest time. She doesn't stop talking about ballet and when my husband told me about this. She couldn't sleep."

"She used to want to be a cheerleader." Chad shivered. "Daddy don't want his little girl to be a cheerleader. Go ballet."

"Haha wise choice." Lily complimented patting the Laura's head. "You keep working hard okay? You'll be dancing better than we are in no time."

"Say thank you to Nina and Lily Laura." Her mother urged. "If you do we'll see the new Swan Lake."

"Thank you Nina and Lily. I like you both! I like your dancing!" Laura happily paraded back to her parents with red cheeks as she was picked up.

"… We like you too." Nina waved gingerly as Lily did the same. With the sweetness of a child their minds were almost in another place for a second…

_**"And introducing proudly from the 4__th__ grade class, cute little Nina Sayers performing a ballet solo section from Beauty and the Beast…"**_

_**Mom and dad are so proud of me. Everyone is watching me. I'm doing so well… I'm beautiful… I'm happy…**_

- B – B – B –

_Waiting for the end to come  
Wishing I had strength to stand  
This is not what I had planned  
It's out of my control_

( Old Sayer's Apartment )

Lily made her way down the narrow corridor of the cramped complex, of course not being able to forget the past. She remembered asking Thomas for Nina's address, coming here to take her out for a dinner to make amends for the bad start they had. The night that followed of course had been spoken about quite a few times between the two. For Lily, this was the first time she truly began worrying for Nina. Seeing the relationship between a mother and daughter that unhealthily constricting was frightening.

Her first impressions of Erica Sayers were one of a crazy mother. Lily of course had softened that stance while meeting her at the hospital. Watching a mother fear for her daughter's life at a hospital bedside would soften anyone. Erica was tragic just like Nina was tragic. Both of them had problems but neither of them helped one another.

Like Nina though times were changing quickly for everyone.

"Lily, hey, Nina said you were coming."

"Ms. Sayers. Hi! How's it going?" Lily put on her friendly face.

Erica Sayers stepped out of the doorway with a small box in hand, looking at Lily with a smile. She was still dressed so drab and dark but her face was a change. "Nina is inside packing up her last few things if you want to see her."

"I will in a sec. I had no idea you were moving out today." Lily glanced into the apartment, seeing almost the entire room emptied out.

"I wanted to rush the moving." Erica took a peak around. "There's nothing left for me here. Or Nina for that matter. It's better to move on."

"I see." Lily nodded. "You look good. You look better."

"Yes, yes I feel a bit better." The elder Sayers walked over to Lily, slowly embracing her like a new friend. "Thank you for supporting my daughter when I couldn't. I know I keep telling you this but I cannot stress it enough."

"Not a problem…" Lily could only remember tears from a mother distraught, feeling guilty of hurting her own flesh and blood. When Erica saw that Lily was the only one of the ballerinas visiting Nina so consistently… she knew she was good people. Someone that would be there for Nina no matter what. Another poor judgment by her.

"I apologize writing you off as something you weren't when I first met you." Erica's words were a deep one.

"It's alright. I get bad first impressions all the time. I keep telling you this." Lily made nothing of it. "I'm just hoping there's some type of healing going on here between you two?"

"There is. It's slow but there is. Thank heavens." Erica's plate to deal with was just as much as Nina's.

_Flying at the speed of light  
Thoughts were spinning in my head  
So many things were left unsaid  
It's hard to let you go_

"Hey Lily. I didn't know you got here already." Nina walked out the door with a few books in her hands, placing them on the table behind the entryway before greeting with a hug of her still secret lover.

"Hey Nina, you told me you needed some help moving so… well… I came."

"I knew you would…" Nina smiled at her, turning to her mother. "Mom I'll take the keys to the apartment while I finish sorting things out. Is that okay? I don't want to keep you and Uncle Ted waiting."

"Of course dear, that's not a problem." Erica took a glance back at the apartment she and Nina called "home" for so long. Sure it didn't feel like home most the time and it was a nightmare situation… but it was all they had. This kept them alive. "I want to say good riddens but for some reason I can't. I know we had a lot of bad times here. But… I saw you grow here."

"Oh m-mother, I'm so proud of you." Nina smiled, convincing her mom to get out of this place like she did. It was almost like Erica's old hope of Nina returning… had disappeared. "I… am glad you and I can… talk again and…"

"Nina it's alright. I know both you and I have a lot to work on. A lot of skeletons to clear out still." Erica smiled back a bit weaker. "It is only natural we do this together. This is my… big first step."

"I'll be there with you every step of the way okay?" Nina hugged her mother appreciating Erica's confession of her own faults.

Living her dreams through her daughter. Squeezing her daughter so tight she wouldn't grow up and leave her alone. Wanting to see her succeed but not too much to eclipse her own career completely… somewhere and at some point in time Erica forgot how to be a mother. Slowly but surely… she hoped to be the mother Nina always needed before. Erica felt a bit saddened either way. Nina… without much help from her has become a woman that any mother would be proud of.

_**"When you almost died… I… couldn't live with myself anymore. I wanted to die as well."**_

_**"Don't say that mommy."**_

_**"Imagine a mother having a hand in her own daughter's death. What kind of sick person is that? I don't deserve this second chance you are giving me."**_

_**"You are my mother… I will never turn my back on you no matter what. You nurtured my dream early on. You fed me when I was hungry. Let's help each other heal. Please come with me on this."**_

_**"Nina… I'll do anything to win your trust again. I love you my child."**_

_I know what it takes to move on  
I know how it feels to lie  
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new  
Holding on to what I haven't got_

"I'll come visit you at Uncle Ted's every week I promise you." Nina reassured.

"Good, because when you moved away and I barely saw you that was a torture I don't need again." Erica had tearful eyes.

"I'm better now mommy. I don't have anything to fear anymore." Nina held her tightly, crying a bit as well with a fighting bite of her lip. "I will help you with whatever you need."

"Just keep going. Keep living this life you've created for yourself. Be the person I failed to be. It is making me happier than you could ever imagine. Don't ever stop for anything understand?"

"Yes… mom." Nina sighed deeply. "I love you…"

"I love you too…" Erica gave her a peck on the cheek, now shaking it off. "Now that we've scared Lily to bits… I better get on out to Ted. He's going to be his grumpy self."

"I'm good Erica…" Lily shrugged with a smirk, feeling a bit heart strung herself over this.

"Tell Uncle I said hello." Nina waved. "Mother I'll come visit you tomorrow. You'll be going to the show on Saturday correct?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Erica waved at Nina, and then at Lily. "Bye you two. Take care of one another okay?"

"You got it." Lily waved it off as Nina stared at her mother walk off and down the stairs.

"Bye mom…" Nina felt it inside her as well. The memories of Erica when she was younger were a much different person then the one that tormented her privacy and it was reemerging. Another dream so close to reality was taking shape. Nina knew she just had to keep working at it. That's one thing that will never change in her. Work, work, work till you get what you desire.

"Your mom looks great now." Lily smiled, going over and kissing Nina's tear littered cheek.

"It took… a lot of talking… and it's going to take a lot more than that to fix what we did to one another." Nina wiped her eyes as she grabbed Lily's hand softly and walked into the apartment, closing the door.

"So how am I supposed to help you when everything is already packed up and ready to go?" Lily walked around, taking notice of a small black box that seemed cracked and damaged. "Hey what's this?"

"… Uh… its… an old gift a long time ago from my mom. It's my music box."

"It looks beat to shit. What happened to it? Does it still work?"

Nina remembers the time she got so angry with herself, smashing the music box to the floor out of fury. "I… don't know if it still works. But it's old. I think it's time to throw it out."

"Well let's go see if it works."

"No." Nina turned to her, holding her hand that was about to reach it.

"Nina, are you scared the box might be dead or something?"

_That box represents me at my best and worst times…_

_What if it's broken forever?_

… _What if I'm broken forever?_

"I just want to remember it when it was working. When I was young, and hearing it for the first time it made me happy… watching the ballerina inside dance." Nina shook her head. "I don't want to see it… broken."

"Nina come on! You're being scared. No more being scared." Lily grabbed it, suddenly opening it. Nina had no time to react.

It was a pleasant result. The music was playing. The porcelain ballerina was spinning. It was damaged but… it still worked.

"You don't need to throw away everything about your old self." Lily caressed her cheek calmly. "You were always a good person Nina. Keep the good… get rid of the bad. Don't nuke your life…"

"Y-yes…" Nina took he box from Lily's hand as she blushed at her girlfriend's touch, staring at her little toy from childhood. The fact it was still working was a miracle in itself. The same miracle that had Nina almost beating down everything that used to bring her down. It was still… like her.

"Now what did you really call me here for? There's nothing to move." Lily glanced around. "You told me you cleaned out your room a week ago."

Nina gently closed the box, and put it down, smiling at her love with a kind look. "I wanted you to help me move… on. In a way."

"Okay…"

"There's a memory that I want replaced." Nina blushed, looking down to the floor. "I had a dream that I thought was so real. I need it to be real. I want it to be real."

"Oh God, are you saying what I'm thinking you're saying?" Lily gasped. "You're talking about that lezzie dream you had about me awhile back."

"Y-yes… can you help me make it real?"

Lily could only smile amused. "Wow this is a strange request…"

"Don't make me feel weirder please." Nina whined, holding her hot cheeks. "I feel so silly."

"Look, you want me to eat your pussy? All you really have to do is grunt, and point down _there _and most of the time I'll oblige." Lily kissed those tender lips as she thought Nina's request was so cute. "Fine… what do you need me to do?"

Nina toyed with those lips that were touched and locked the door to the apartment with a grin that she couldn't get rid of, trying to imagine in her head again. "Okay, I need to take you by your hand, taking me to my room. I shut the door, locking it… and then I go to you and we make out. I toss you on the bed… and then you get on top of me…"

"I get the picture." Lily looked so sexy, playful, yet curious. "Man you have a kinky little director's head in your mind. No wonder you make such a good choreographer."

"Are you ready now?" Nina was more anxious than she was even.

"… Anything for you Nina."

"… Y-you are a dream you know that?"

"So I've been told…"

- B – B – B –

The rest of the time before the first show at Madison Square Garden was like a rush that couldn't be coherent. For Nina all the hard work, struggles, and her pain was all coming to ahead. In her dressing room she hears the crowd rumbling outside, literally making the ground shake a little. Her eyes remain tight and closed as she kept running through her memories. The night she stabbed herself. The night she let the primal rage out for all to see. The night that forced her to grow into the woman she was now.

_You want to come out and challenge me this time?_

_I'm ready…_

Nina had no reply. She dared the darkness to try and get her this time. She wanted to see it. She needed to go to that place. Only this time she would conquer it.

"H-hey Nina…" Lily peered her head into the doorway of the dressing room. "It's show time in fifteen minutes. Group meeting at the greenroom."

Nina opened her eyes at the voice of her lover, staring at the reflection of herself as Lily waited for her. She was dressed as the elegant White Swan like Lily behind her, but her eyes were a dead deep blood red… eyes of the Black Swan glaring through her soul.

"I'm so close to my fairy tale ending…" Nina spoke softly at her mirror image, this hybrid looking Swan so snug and confident. "And only you are in my way…"

"We're all here for you Nina remember okay?" Lily walked over to her, arms wrapping around her lean shoulder blades, nuzzling her head tightly. "Don't' think you're alone in this."

"… When I began this whole healing process, I thought strength had to only be from inside me." Nina turned to Lily, she shook. "My strength comes from you now as much myself."

"Then it's good that I'm going to be there by your side tonight. I want that perfect ending as much as you Nina."

"Thank you…" Nina closed her eyes holding Lily's hand to herself, trying to clear her mind. With Lily behind her she knew her final closure was so close. Nothing was going to stand in her way this time to get it right. There was no White Swan to face anymore. There was no Black Swan.

It was time she faced… herself.

With Lily caressing her so close and feeling her warmth breath, her mind floated into the darkness. She almost heard that dance music again behind the rumbling. The club lights flashing neon colors.

"Come on Nina… time to go dancing…"

* * *

**A/N: **I feel bad for no sex... I was just thinking the best way to end Birds of A Feather was to have the sex scene I set up... a re"doing" of the infamous scene in the actual movie for the final chapter.

But yes... one more chapter and this is complete. :(

Sequel I think will come based on people's reactions... and it is Nina/Lily. It's not a story about the past. It's a story about the past coming to Lily. Creepy... kind of?

It will be called Two Birds with One Stone...

In honor of the Oscar's... James Franco cameo in this chapter.


	13. Intermission: Inspiration

**A/N: **Well... I felt bad... so... this is not the last chapter. This is the sex scene! Woo... but I don't even I want to call this an "Act" (dirty act maybe) because the plot minimally moves and it didn't fit into the themes of my last chapter. So this is just my thank you to those who've been patient with my sex skipping.

The part at the end was inspired by a friend I saw again today... which is a bonus.

Next chapter is the end... and it is coming soon.

It's nice to see all is right with the real world. Natalie won. The Oscars were boring as usual... And Mila Kunis was wearing a barely there dress. :)

* * *

That metal rod punched the door shut as Nina fit it perfectly like a wedge.

"Couldn't you have just went and bought a normal door lock Nina? It's not that expensive…"

The logical comment flew over Nina's head as she was trying to recreate her most vivid dream she ever had. She took Lily gently by the hand and placed her in the center of the room, towards the bed and looking towards the door.

"Okay, you were over here… and then…" Nina closed her eyes for a second, like reading images that were scorched into her memories forever. Lily could only watch on as a curious spectator, watching a director at work. Hopefully this wasn't going to translate into another career Lily was thinking of.

"You just gotta get this perfect don't you?" Lily sighed to herself as she waited patiently.

"… I think it's alright now." Nina let out a deep breath as she looked around her room, almost imagining it filled with her childhood memorabilia. "I just ran into the room… I locked it…"

"And…"

Nina tapped her foot a couple times as there was a nervous hesitance on her part. Those eyes shut tight told the story in a silence. At least that was what Lily thought.

_It has to be the exactly same. It has to be perfect._

_**I don't care anymore! I want Lily. I want her now!**_

Nina was as much a perfectionist at weaving a dance for someone else as much as her own, but she knew Lily wasn't the most patient of people. The wait was repaid quite generously though as far as she was concerned. Before Lily could even blink, Nina had closed the distance, her hands flushed in her hair, pulling them hard into a kiss that just wasn't one of the normal. This was an aggressive a kiss, a kiss that was from a frustrated dream that had to be let out.

_**We're kissing… I can't believe we're kissing…**_

Lily was taken back, being in a position she wasn't used to, already a few steps behind as Nina, playing catch up. Her lips were being sucked on freely, her mouth parting ways as Nina's tongue begged and demanded for entry. Lily's head felt light as Nina's tongue was gingerly exploring her oral cave, but she was now reacting calmly, gently taking Nina's head and pushing them tighter, her tongue lashing out back into Nina's mouth.

"Mmm…" Lily hears Nina moan a good reaction quietly into her mouth, vibrating, replying with her own raspier one soon after as Nina pressed her tongue as far back as she could now.

Their excitement was pushing them to kiss deeper and heavier. Their mouths were so warm and inviting. Their lips were so sweet and tender. It was so passionate but soft. Nina's hands slowly caressed down from Lily's soft hair, to her smooth back, and to her firm rear. The skirt that was once there was stripped off, Lily's bare bottom now only covered by lace and panties. Lily took advantage of Nina's eagerness, pulling Nina's head back in a suggestive smile, almost like she was saying… "This is my world you're playing in."

Nina's eyes were tightly shut as she wanted to feel the pleasure of that dream and Lily was supplying it tenfold. She titled Nina's head to the side; mouth wide, lips smooched together tightly as Lily's tongue coiled around Nina's stroking it. She alternated between teasing kisses around those lips to deep throating her tongue… even nibbling on Nina's tender bottom lip.

_**I need to have you…**_

Nina had willpower and showed it. Lily gasped as she was thrown onto the bed with surprising strength, smiling soon after as she knew the game to be played. Lily thrived on the roughness, crawling towards Nina, grabbing her skirt and pulling it down and away as their mouths were inseparable. Nina moaned as Lily's kisses grew harder. Her lips were being nibbled and suckled, Nina working on pulling Lily's tight shirt off… suddenly nibbling on Lily's neck hard to make her lean her head back in ecstasy.

"Ah…" Lily groaned as she felt Nina's bite on her neck.

The shirt came off smoothly thereafter, Nina now able to enjoy her girlfriend's lean body, a sexual specimen that didn't come around too often. Her perky breasts, her flat stomach, her smooth skin… Nina wanted to eat her up right now.

"You like looking at me…" Lily smirked swaying her hips teasingly as she hugged around Nina's body, twisting her onto the bed.

_T-this… is… it…_

Lily had Nina silenced the minute she was on the pillow, French kissing her and sucking the air out of her. Nina went lazy eyed as she could feel the throbbing pleasure growing beneath, Lily's half naked body grinding into her.

"You won't remember your dream after this." Lily whispered into her ear with sexual confidence, slowly kissing down Nina's neck and chest, pulling her shirt up.

Nina could only watch as Lily closed in, staring at that lean sexual deviant on all fours, kissing every part of her body and creating a firey sensation beneath her waist. Lily paid extra attention to Nina's breast as she lapped her tongue over the bra cup, giving it a squeeze that made Nina shiver in delight. She ran a finger down her smooth abdomen next, passed her cute belly button, reaching the panties and discarding them with a pull and toss.

Lily could smell Nina's wet sex ready for her. She smiled naughtily as she lowered herself, Nina watching impatiently as Lily teasingly kissed down her sensitive inner thighs.

"Aaangh…" Nina laid her head back in the bed, the first lick of her clit sending a wave of pleasure through her. Lily watched Nina carefully at every move making sure everything she did was going to drive her lover wild. She began her path to Nina's orgasm, sliding her wet tongue deep inside her cunt, tasting the juices that were flowing

_**Are… her tattoos… moving? … I… her body… is so… beautiful…**_

Nina's groans were egging Lily on, every moan and twist of her body making Lily eat her sex out harder. She didn't use her hands at all. She didn't need to. Her tongue and mouth, licking and sucking Nina into a state where she couldn't even speak. She felt Nina's pure ecstasy as her body was tightening up, as if she was trying not to explode. Nina was holding on… she didn't want this first one to be so quick.

_I don't think so Nina… _

Lily's eyes were on Nina as she was looking at a flush faced ballerina panting above. A sucking sensation on Nina's clit made her contort again, fingers digging deep into Lily's hair, her legs wrapping around that thin waist. A swirling of the tongue over the same sensitive spot made her cry out, Lily feeling the orgasm coming fast. She didn't let up now, moving her head up and down, grinding her tongue, hard into Nina's spot…

"Oh Lily!"

Lily enjoyed her hard work with sweet nectar that flowed out of her pussy, making sure to clean it out like she couldn't get enough. Nina looked spent as she had a glassy stare, her chest heaving, laying back in her bed as if she was in a dream. Lily was content her mouth glistening from the sexual juices, crawling up as Nina's head came up, pressing her kiss gently and lovingly… but making sure Nina could taste herself.

"How was… that?"

"… Amazing…" Nina gasped with half closed eyes. "I… it wasn't that good… in the dream…"

"I can do worse on purpose if you need to." Lily kissed her chin teasingly and around her neck… not getting enough of Nina still.

"No…" Nina didn't know if she giggled or moaned, her body was lost in the moment.

"So… what's next?"

_**Nina saw herself laughing mockingly… a pillow covering her face to silence her… to end her pleasure.**_

_Not this time…_

Nina laid back, licking her lips at her own orgasmic juices. "I… want to taste you now… please sit on me…"

"Heh… alright…" Lily smirked in comply stripping off her panties and tossing them away in a sexy stare. Nina couldn't contain her excitement, watching Lily crawling to a half stand and easing her way over to the head of the bed. Soon Lily was on top of her, Nina could smell the sweet but strong waft of Lily's pussy. If she was going to be silenced it was going to be from something she wanted…

"Unngh… you're so good Nina…" Lily sat down over Nina's face, the sensations starting immediately as Nina's own tongue now was playing Lily like an instrument.

The moans came fast and loud, Lily holding onto the bars of the bedhead for balance and to just hold on for the ride of her life. From below Nina had her firm rear clenched, her mouth giving Lily's pussy much more than it bargained for. Her tongue was magic, a confident and not tentative girl sliding it in and out of Lily's pleasure spot. When she began working the clit with her wet finger, Lily felt like her entire body was screaming. Nina… was learning to be a great lover fast. She was learning how to make Lily satisfied… fast.

"Y-you've never ate me out like this before baby."

Nina looked up to see Lily looking down on her with the most pleasure filled face and it was making her happy. It was exciting her. It just wanted her to take it even further. Nina clenched onto Lily's ass as she began to work her clit, her tongue repeating stroking and her mouth sucking away like there was no tomorrow. She was going to make Lily feel as good as she made her feel. She wanted to taste all that Lily had to offer.

Lily bit her lip as she felt her orgasm coming. Nina was just becoming as much as a sexual deviant as she was. With a few hard laps and Nina's surprising stimulation from behind...

"Aaaagh!" Lily screamed out as she felt her body let go of the explosion, her head going to rest on the wall, her hands supporting her. Lily didn't know if it was her sobriety or what Nina did to her or a combination. It was the hardest orgasm she ever felt. Her heavy breaths made it undeniable.

Beneath Nina happily tasted the sweet nectar Lily was dripping now, making a few more moans come out of a satisfied ballerina. Lily fell back almost landing next to Nina, next to her legs, kissing her thighs.

"That was… the best… thing I've… ever felt…" Lily was still trying to catch her breath.

"Really?" Nina blushed as she caressed Lily's curved hips, staring dreamingly to the ceiling. She loved hearing compliments from a lover like Lily. Nina still felt new at this and it felt so satisfying in her mind… almost as much as it was physically.

"Yes and I know you're not done yet." Lily sat up, recovering now.

"No way…" Nina shook her head in agreement.

"Then let's do something a little more… me." Lily sucked on her own fingers and parted Nina's legs apart suddenly, soon after spreading her pussy with her free hand, and working two fingers into her tight cunt.

"Ah! L-lily!" Nina was surprised as the pleasure spiked up in her again, making her buck her hips hard. Lily licked her other hand as she saw Nina roll on top in a 69 position. Lily smirked as she began manipulating Nina's swollen clit from beneath, while fingering her with a relentless pounding.

The moans coming out of Nina were one that was primal. She wasn't being eating out with a sensual tongue. She wasn't being coerced with a sweet tongue. She was being fucked. She takes a couple of deep breaths, trying to control herself as she now had Lily's sex again in her sights. It was so wet from the last orgasm, Nina lapped up cum with her fingers, giving it a taste as she pressed her own pair of fingers deep into Lily.

"Aagh… copycat…" Lily teased in a moan, as she felt Nina wriggle her fingers inside.

Nina only smiled at the comment, soon groaning out as Lily already had found her g-spot. She felt her pussy clench onto Lily's fingers, her pussy lips parting each time those fingers were driven in. "Ooh…" Nina shivered as she felt her body tell her that Lily had her.

"Come on Nina…" Lily giggled. "I bet you're going to come before I get any… nngh!"

"W-what were you saying?" Nina moaned in a reply, as she pressed deep into Lily's pussy, her fingers moving around the clit in circles.

Even in the bedroom they were pushing each other. Who could bring the other one to the harder and faster orgasm? Lily's lead was dwindling as both of the girls were in heat, moaning, sweating, and trying to hold on as long as their bodies could take it. From beneath Lily began to work even faster, feeling Nina's juices up to her knuckle as she was so deep inside her. Her lover above was about to lose it… but she was determined to make Lily come with her, suddenly adding a third finger.

It wasn't too long before both of the girls felt another orgasm coming, both of them yelling out as they juiced onto each other's fingers almost simultaneously. Lily and Nina pulled out and collapsed again on the bed, their breaths completely sapped from them. These orgasms were as intense as anything they've ever felt.

"Y-you just like fucking in your old room so you feel naughty don't you?" Lily commented with a smirk.

"It is a little too adventurous for me isn't it?" Nina covered her warm cheeks.

"Inside that perfect little girl is such a naughty little thing it's amazing." Lily caressed her hair as she sat up. "I think I need to teach you a lesson. I'm still the dominant one in this relationship."

"… Then teach me." Nina let it be known that this was still a new stronger her.

"Gladly…" Lily took to her feet fast, pulling Nina up and into a deep kiss, pushing her against the wall of her room. She quickly got in between Nina's legs, swinging one of her thighs into a cradle in her arms, the other holding her head to protect it from the wall.

"What are you... doing?" Nina moaned as Lily kissed her neck.

"Something you're going to love." Lily winked as she began to grind her own pussy into Nina's. Lily couldn't have been more accurate as unbelievably both girls had their juices flowing again. Lily's ballerina waist let her be extremely flexible… her body was a fine tuned machine and Nina felt every bit of it. Nina could only moan as she stared into Lily's eyes.

Lily tightened her abs, pushing forward in a pelvic thrust, her clit slamming into Nina's in a rhythmic burst. Nina panted and groaned with each press, Lily sometimes alternating by swiveling her ass like an exotic dancer, grinding their wet pussies together.

"Oh my God…" Nina could only moan to the air as her ass pressed against the cold wall with each thrust.

"I knew… ungh… you'd love this…" Lily moaned as well, feeling her own body give the signals of excitement. She felt their breasts press together now, Lily groaning as Nina's bra material stroked her hardened nipples.

"Y-yes please don't stop Lily…" Nina curled her toes, exploring Lily's body with curious hands. She got to feel her soft skin at every juncture. Those luscious curves. Those firm breasts. Lily's lean muscles…

_You drove me crazy._

_Now you drive me crazy… in a good way…_

Lily drove her hips forward quicker now as she Nina joined her grinds. They could both feel wetness drip down their legs as this was turning them both on more than they could have ever imagined. Their athletic bodies were made for this motion, their flexibility making them able to grind so hard and long.

"Ungh.. Nina…" Lily tossed her head back as Nina had her nipple in a bite, nibbling on it and sucking. She felt her ass once again cupped by her lover, Nina actually pulling Lily into her each time to make the clits touch even harder… both of them now crying out.

"Lily… I can't hold on anymore!"

"Me neither…"

They both came with one last hard press into each other, each of them shivering in each other's arms as they felt their racing heart beats together… in sync. Their sweat let them slide against each other with ease even in a tight unbreakable grip. With weak breaths they just couldn't stop kissing. When it came to each other? Both of them… were insatiable.

"You're so amazing Lily." Nina stroked her cheek, pressing their foreheads together.

"… Only for you now." Lily said simply, Nina melting as she heard the words. Before anything else could be said Lily stole one more kiss that made them fall onto the bed in bliss. They were cuddling now. Both so content it felt… just like a dream.

"So, how did I do versus dream version of me?" Lily was exhausted but still needed that ego stroked. "Be honest."

"You are a million times better." Nina laughed weakly as she pecked Lily's lips in total truth.

"Liar…" A light mutual chuckle that died out and they could only stare at each other in silence afterwards.

_How did I find you?_

_You're… perfect for me._

"I don't care how dark things get anymore." Nina whispers as she stroked Lily's skin. "I just need you to be there with me."

"I'm not going anywhere but you don't _need _me." Lily held her tightly. "You are strong now… no matter what happens. Understand?"

Nina didn't reply as it didn't even sound like Lily wanted to debate, only pressing her head against Lily's chest as she closed her eyes. The two drifted off into their own dreams that weren't as pleasing as the one they had tonight. For Nina and Lily… the best part though came the next morning.

They were both still there… holding one another.

- B – B – B –

( Days Later | Madison Square Garden )

Old habits never change. There was a meeting to be had between all the ballerinas before stage time and Lily was once scrambling on her last few seconds. The bigger hallways of the building were complicated. Lincoln Centre was so much easier to navigate than this place. She huffed and puffed her way though and finally busted through the door with her shoulder.

"Nice of you to join us. We thought we might be having only one Swan Queen again." Thomas commented with new humor as all the ballerinas glanced over to Lily.

"Um, sorry Georgina had to fix some loose thread." Lily calmly walked towards the center where Nina waited.

"You've used that one already." Thomas replied.

"Oh right… that was last week. My bad." Lily bowed graciously.

"Ugh," Thomas finished with a fizzle. "This is no longer just a Leroy production everyone. This is _your _production. This is your opportunity to show not only the ballet world but everyone what it means to be a ballet performer. Good luck everyone and be safe out there."

Thomas left soon after those words to take his place as the coordinator behind the scenes. Lily took a glance at Nina who was closing her eyes as calm as a flower, not even reacting to Lily's presence. Lily knew Nina liked to get into some sort of zone so she wasn't too worried. But in her mind there was definitely something wrong in the room. As she glanced around the greenroom mostly all the girls seemed to have that 'deer in headlights' look to them. They were nervous. They were scared.

A lot rode on this show. The future of their careers. Their future of their production.

Lily felt for them and knew what she had to do.

"Hey everyone. Huddle up I have something to say."

All the girls blinked, strolling over, Veronica crossing her arms. "What now Lily?"

"… I want everyone to huddle up close shoulder to shoulder." Lily's eyes didn't have an ounce of playfulness in them, the nervous girls all doing so with heavy breaths. They were running through choreography and worries in their mind but Lily had a plan.

Nina slowly opened her eyes and took a glance around at all the girls surrounding Lily and her, wondering what her girlfriend had planned.

"Okay I want everyone to shout out what they're scared of." Lily commanded, pointing at each of them. "Everybody is scared of something. Yell it out and put it out there. I'm starting…"

_Lily… you're being… a leader… _Nina looked on in amazement.

"I'm afraid of regression." Lily looked at all of the girls with vulnerable eyes. "Falling into old traps that have done you wrong in the past." She points to Madeline. "What are you afraid of?"

"Uh… Disappointing my parents. Not being able to please them all the time even though I love them."

"You?" Lily pointed at Sarah next.

"I'm afraid of being hated. Of not being loved. Of not finding anyone that can love me unconditionally."

Lily stopped as she met eyes with Veronica now, the two clearly still having a bit of bad blood. But the two didn't back down nor disrespect one another, there was a respect at a ballet level here to be had and that's all they wanted.

"What are you afraid of?" Lily asked simply as Veronica just stared at her with crossed arms. She slowly looks around the room like the peers were pushing her to let go. As she speaks they notice its softer than usual.

"I'm afraid of not being good enough." Veronica rolled her eyes, sighing as if it was extremely hard to do. "N-never reaching my goals I set in my life. I'm afraid of being a… failure."

_Failure. _Nina heard the words as all the ballerinas began to feel something happen inside them. They were looking at one another as the coldest most polarizing dancer showed emotion and weakness for the first time to anyone. The comments kept coming soon after, the room warming up instead of being an isolated mess of thoughts.

"I'm afraid of losing loved ones."

"I'm afraid of being abandoned by those close to me."

_Everyone… seems to have the same fears… I do…_

"… I'm afraid of never finding myself." Nina answered that one out, getting a rub on the back from Lily.

"I'm afraid of letting you all down." Lynn looked at all of them with tearful eyes. "You all are so amazing and I still have a lot to learn. I don't want to let anyone of you down tonight. Especially Nina." She wiped her teary eyes from the pressure. "I know how big this night is for you. I won't be able to forgive myself if I mess this up."

Some of the girls instantly held her, patting her on the back with words of encouragement.

"Lynn please do not put so much pressure on yourself. I won't hold anyone accountable." Nina spoke out now. "This is not my show. This is all of ours."

"None of us here are flawless. None of us here are fearless. None of us here…" Lily looked over to Nina. "Are perfect."

_Perfection is not possible…_

"Someone taught me that trying to deal with your fears by yourself can be a losing cause." Lily winked as Nina could only reply with a gentle grin. "Girls, out there tonight is probably the biggest crowd we'll ever dance to. This is an opportunity for all of us. An opportunity for the ballet world to be part of the big picture again. I get it." She sighed. "But we have to check all our egos on the door. Lynn's fear is all we should be worrying about. We have to support one another because shit… that's all we have."

"I know you all are amazing and will do well if you have support." Nina looked at all of them in the eyes, taking Lily's lead. "Madeline you've been with me since the start and I've seen you grow into such a versatile dancer. Lynn, Sarah, Leanne… you three are so new yet you dance like you've been here forever. Margaret and Natasha, you two have battled through so many injuries, and you've come back stronger each time. Gailana, you're the most positive and fun to watch dancer I've seen here and I can't wait till you return… and Veronica… y-you… are the benchmark to me."

Veronica looked at Nina with a skewed face.

"The minute I walked into Thomas' office my first day, you were the one that caught my eye. You were clearly the best." Nina evoked a real emotion that Veronica couldn't react angrily to. "I looked up to you like I looked up to Beth. You two were the ones I wanted to be like when I danced. I'm sorry that we almost became rivals because… I know at first things weren't that way. Perhaps we could have been friends if things worked out differently."

"… I'm sorry too… t-thanks for the words." Veronica muttered, almost taken a back, all the girls holding themselves, touched by Nina's genuine kindness.

"We can be catty tomorrow girls. We can be jealous and hate each other and be scared all by ourselves after tonight." Lily scowled. "But we've all seen what happens when we let one of us fall through. That shit isn't going to happen anymore. We communicate on stage and we talk to one another through problems. No more selfishness. This is not a night for any of that."

"I agree…" Nina nodded with a somber note. "I am sorry you are all so worried on my behalf. Just know that we've been training so hard and I'm proud of each and every one of you. No matter what role you were in. No matter how hard Thomas and I pushed you. You guys stood up strong. I will not forget this."

"It's us against the world. People doubt us, saying ballet can never be anything more than a niche thing. I say fuck em." Lily seemed on fire, looking around as the girls got behind her. "Tonight let's show them how awesome we are and how much fun we have doing what we love."

"Yes!" Lynn clapped and all the girls followed.

"Everyone be safe and please talk to one another. The stage is big and the crowd will be loud. Each person to the side of you has to be trusted." Nina pleaded. "Once we are out there, the person beside you will be the only one you have."

What happened next made the group want to slap themselves awake.

"We have your back Nina." Veronica said it with a nod, stepping forward. "I know we've had some shit in the past and I'm still pissed about my situation… b-but you and Lily are right. This isn't a time to be selfish and to think of our own insecurities. I think on behalf of the girls we're glad you're back. And we're making sure you don't leave… ever again. We're not going to mess this up for you."

"You're the reason we are having this opportunity in the first place." Madeline smiled, stepping up as well.

"We owe you anything Nina. We'll walk through fire for you." Lynn nodded enthusiastically.

"Thanks everyone…" Nina felt the support – the support she didn't have the first Opening Night that almost cost her life. "Have this attitude for every girl in this room right now. I appreciate all you've done for me. I wouldn't have any other dancers than any of you in here."

"So now that we're pumped up, let's do it like we do it in San Francisco, all hands in the middle and over Nina, close your eyes." Lily started by placing her hand over Nina, all girls following. "Everyone's fears are out in the open now and tonight are when we let it all out okay?"

"OKAY!" They replied back in unison.

"On my words everyone scream it like Thomas would do it." Lily smirks. "What do you do when you're scared of something?"

"ATTACK IT!"

"What do you when you're not sure of yourself?"

"ATTACK IT!"

"What are you going to do this crowd tonight?"

"SEDUCE THEM!"

"What are we gonna do to our loved one after we rock this place tonight?"

"SEDUCE THEM!"

"What time is it?"

"OUR TIME!"

"What time is it?"

"OUR TIME!"

"Is everyone pumped up?"

"HELL YES!"

"Let's go out there and do what we do best ladies!"

"WOOOOOOO!" With a loud girl roar the room was on fire as even Nina the calm natured ballerina got into it, feeling fizzles down her chest as she felt so empowered. The girls all took off to the stage talkative and inspired. Lily only chuckled to herself as her inspirational act actually worked, shrugging towards Nina like it was business as usual. It was all improv off the top of the cleverest girl in the ballet business.

"You are quite the speaker. No wonder you volunteered for the intro." Nina looked her sexy girlfriend up and down her white Swan body, ogling with those red contact eyes. "It's a very attractive trait. Y-you… seem to have a lot of those."

"It's just something one of the football players the other day showed me." Lily smiled, stroking Nina's arm caringly. "I am worried about you though."

"Don't…"

"I'm worried about how many people are going to want to take you away from me when they see how great you are tonight." Lily smiled.

"Thanks but you know you are the only one for me." Nina knew those words were true, never more so than now.

"I'm going to be right there with you…" Lily blew her a kiss that Nina caught with her own puckered lips. "Ready to do this Swan Queen?"

"Yes Swan Queen… I'm ready."

"Show me your White Swan face."

Nina touched her face looking cute but vulnerable.

"Show me your Black Swan face."

Nina scowled an angry growl.

"… By golly… you are ready Ms. Nina Sayers."

Nina… smiles.

Something she's doing so much more now than before.


	14. Act: XII: Finale

**Act XII: Finale**

A large venue like the MSG stacked to capacity was a sight to behold. The Garden was once again flooded with paying customers, rabid for entertainment. It was crowded shoulder to shoulder and the vibe was nothing like anything Thomas had ever seen – at least in terms of his productions. The energy and anticipation was its own entity almost. The girls have been to big stadium concerts before but never in their wildest dreams would they get to be the centerpiece of such a show.

The large red curtain that covered the stage suddenly had a small slash of white walk across it. On the big screen a White Swan was walking towards center stage a microphone in hand. The crowd began to stir as they saw a fully adorned Lily step to the forefront. The cheering already had begun.

"Microphone check." A calm Lily spoke into the microphone, getting signal that echoed throughout the entire stadium. "Can anyone out there hear me?"

A loud and indecipherable roar of approval was all she received and needed.

"Wow, you all seem so excited." Lily's big smile on the big screen just made it that more epic. "I guess some people lied to you because you all do realize this is a ballet performance right?"

The crowd roars again.

"… I think Taylor Swift is down a couple blocks from here." Lily pointed due south as the crowd laughed. "You sure you all want to be… here?"

The positive response that came again made her hold her chest humbly.

"You guys are awesome." Lily said with glee, pacing around the stage, blocking the stage light with her hand so she could see the crowd. "This is crazy. I see old faces that I am loving but I see a ton of new faces that I will learn to love! Um, does anyone here know who I am by chance?"

A scattered bunch of Lily callouts rang into her ears.

"Alright, looks like some of you do but if not? Let me introduce myself. My name is Lily. Most of you probably either know me by 'That crazy broad in those ballet commercials'. Or 'that other girl people didn't come here to see'." She frowned in a teasing way as the crowd was putty in her hands in a sympathetic aw. "But I _do _I know… why you all are here tonight."

NINA! The name rippled throughout the crowd, especially with the younger folks.

"So you've heard of this Nina. I hear she's pretty good." Lily shrugged.

_Thanks Lily…_

"Anyway before we get this thing started, Nina asked me to come out here to give you all a message because she's a bit shy to speak. T-then again now that my eyes are adjusting to the dark I'm starting to think this was a bad idea…"

The ballerinas behind stage chuckle at Lily's self-deprecation with the sea of people, Nina watching on closely and warmly as she appreciated the levity Lily brought to any situation.

"We ballerinas have a dream job." Lily began to sound a bit more serious. "We get to dance and basically tell stories for a living. We have a kid's job and I think sometimes because this business is so difficult, draining, and competitive, we lose sight of that." She snapped her finger. "My favorite part of the job is getting to relive old fairy tales I listened to as a kid and watched on Disney DVDs like Pinocchio and Beauty and the Beast."

The crowd delights at fan favorites.

"Well tonight is special because as awesome as those stories are, this one is a story that hits a little closer to home for all of us." Lily paused as she wanted to get this just right. "I know everyone here is aware of what happened to Nina a couple months ago. We here got to experience it firsthand. It was scary. It was depressing. And it was just a horrible time for all of us."

Nina peaked out the curtain now, wanting to see Lily along with the voice. It sounded like Lily… but… she was different. There wasn't a façade over this Lily. This was a genuine girl… speaking her mind. No more junk numbing her.

"This Swan Lake story isn't about just that narrative. Thanks to our choreographer Thomas, Nina was able to create something almost from scratch for all of you." Lily pointed to the crowd. "She worked her ass off to make this possible because she's been touched by all the support she's received. This story is the most personal story I've ever been a part of and I'm proud to call her my co-lead. My choreographer. And most importantly more than a friend."

_You can speak from your heart like I told you… _Nina waned, knowing the old Lily would never be this open… let alone to an entire crowd like this.

"Enjoy this performance but Nina wants you all to remember that as frightening and as hopeless as it looks she made it in the end." Lily smiled weakly. "Because of what she went through… and we almost lost her… and umm-… D-damn I said I wouldn't do this-"

Lily felt her chest tighten up from bad memories and the crowd felt Lily's emoting with every stuttered word. She paused and turned away for a second covering her face. Instantly the crowd began to get louder cheering her on, wanting to feel her every emotion as they appreciated her candor.

"Okay I'm good!" Lily took a deep breath and a wipe of her eyes before she smiled again. "Anyway, she appreciates every one of you and so do all of us at the production. I'm psyched to be a part of this and to bring the story of Nina with her to all of you. Enjoy the show everyone! Welcome to Swan Lake!"

The curtains pull back and the crowd was ready with unbridled excitement. Nina's eyes meet with Lily in an appreciative nod, a silence that wasn't awkward but supporting.

_This is the love they speak about in fairy tales that mom used to read to me. Who said… my prince can't be you?_

- B – B – B –

_I dreamt I was the White Swan  
I dreamt I was the Black Swan.  
Where are the dreams of myself?_

The orchestra begins the concerto of "A Swan is Born" as the second act began swiftly. The backdrop of black hid the wonderous lake that had been the canvas. A flawless and gorgeous Lily dressed as the timid but beautiful White Swan was in center stage by herself, not a disturbance to be had. She comes to a perfect stand to first position, her arms out and extended, gracefully getting on her toes and pushing herself towards the crowd in rapid steps.

The lights flash off her white costume and her grace made the combination look like she was an angel. The ballerina's pirouettes took her across the stage soon after. Lily's face was one of confusion even as graceful as she was moving. The White Swan didn't know why it was here.

_Can you feel what I feel?_

The White Swan held herself in her own arms as she looked down, a coldness coming across the entire stage that shivered her bones. The crowd gasps as from behind a dark man in all black creeps up like a shadow, slowly taking her chin by his hand, pressing his body against hers. Lily hesitates; the White Swan knows something is wrong. Instantly Lily twirls to the side with a leap, the man horrifyingly morphing into a bird on cue as the spotlight flickered, feathers shooting out as a struggle and chase was at hand.

The White Swan pushes off in a furious leap and turn, the cryptic bird cawing out in pursuit as it tried to take flesh. Lily picks up the pace of the White Swan movements, springing and flailing her body but with technique only to find another bird waiting for her across the stage. This one grabs onto her, coiling its wings around her waist, the beak ready to plunge into the Swan.

_Lily lets out a moan as she didn't know what was happening. She opened her eyes to see Thomas behind her, kissing her deeply as his hands explored her throbbing body. She feels her thighs squeezed so gently, she feels her breast firmly gripped. She feels her most coveted spot stroked. As soon as the pleasure was heightened she sees him pull away, smirking to himself._

"_That was me… seducing you."_

"_W-what the fuck?" Lily looks at him with an angry scowl, only to notice in the mirror a broken soul, breathing heavily from the sexual advance. Lily didn't know who was the reflection. Nina or her._

The White Swan pushed the bird away before she could be hurt, scrambling now down stage as the birds followed. She flaps her wings, spinning, and turning desperate to get away desperate to leave these monsters behind her.

_Can you hear what I hear?_

The White Swan finds cover in the darkness, closing its eyes and covers itself as if the world was crumbling down around it. She muffs her ears trying to prevent the birds cawing from shaking her.

"_Are you drunk?" _

_Lily stared at the woman berating her with a clueless eye._

"_Nina! I am speaking to you!"_

"_Will you shut up?" Lily just shook her head defiantly at the woman, glancing over towards the mirror and seeing Nina ogling right back at her._

"_Where did my sweet little girl go?"_

_Lily gasped as she was being shoved back by Erica, the girl defending herself and pushing off. She sees Nina suddenly standing beside her, grabbing Lily by the hand and darting off into her room._

Suddenly the music shifts to a more calm section, the White Swan noticing the bird's screeches had stopped. She looks around quietly as she prances slowly to center stage, eyes scanning the entire area. The stage feels like it rumbles a bit as another spotlight brings fourth an image from behind. A large mirror sat behind the White Swan now…a reflection… no… another White Swan with its back turned in perfect positioning right behind her in perfect symmetry.

The crowd already knew who it was, beginning to bring their cheering to the Garden.

Lily stands straight up, looking out to the crowd before slowly turning. The image behinds her moves exactly as she does both of their eyes meeting. They both wore the White Swan's outfit… but those eyes…

Blood ridden eyes…

_Can you see what I see?_

_Lily sees the words WHORE written in the bathroom mirror. From the other side she sees a frightened Nina desperately try to wipe it off, Lily just staring from the other side. Lily tried to follow Nina as she exploded out the door in a sprint. She runs into the dancing room as she sees that white uniform of her lover flash across the darkness. She breaks into the door seeing the piano player get up and leave. Alone Nina stood to practice Lily watching as a reflection in the mirror._

_She begins to practice with Nina, being her reflection and matching her move for move. _

_Suddenly the lights go out. _

The White Swan looks at the reflection so hesitantly, not remembering herself looking like this. But with every graceful motion with her hands she is matched with perfect precision. Those red eyes wouldn't leave Lily as she tried desperately to prove the reflection wrong. Her fouette was imitated as well as the counter pirouette that followed. She finally stops staring at the image walking up to it and reaching its hand out to touch the mirror…

The lights go out… and quickly come back on.

There were no more White Swans…

Lily was dressed in all black and frozen.

Nina her reflected image matching every part of her, the true Black Swan smiling evilly in the mirror.

_The club music was battering them. Lily was high on ecstasy but she tightened her eyes to regain composure. She feels Nina right up in her body, Lily's arms around her scantily clad waist. She notices Nina's eyes looking so dead, her body moving almost in primal instincts. From the corner of her vision she begins to see images dart back and forth. She sees butterflies. She sees birds. She sees headless statues… dancers._

_They felt so real, and they were closing in around Nina like they wanted to take her away. _

"_Stay back." Lily whispers angrily holding Nina protectively. "Get away from her…" _

_They wouldn't listen._

Lily couldn't move as the Black Swan in the mirror, Nina was taking over. Who was the reflection and who was the real deal? Lily was at the mercy of the Black Swan's movements now, feeling her body torque and contorts as she matched every maddening twirl and coil Nina threw at her.

_Can you save me my true love?_

"_Only… if you want to be saved…" Lily whispers._

The Black Swan smiles as she reaches out with a palm to the hand of Lily, forcing her closer to the glass. As soon as it touched again the lights were killed. In a few seconds there was only one Swan on the stage, standing in the spotlight where she belonged.

Nina! The crowd begins to roar as the Black Swan was in an iconic pose with its wings coiled back, staring proudly into the air as if it was unstoppable. Inside Nina's mind there were no feathers on her hands this time. There were no tendrils slicing out of her skin. There was nothing in between Nina and the performance now, just a spotlight on her and the stage. The crowd was going ballistic and Nina let them fuel her fire. She was sitting there like a time bomb ready to explode. Her confidence was as high as it could be and she was ready.

This time she was the Black Swan.

The Black Swan was not her.

_I do want to be saved. I wanted to be saved the minute I kept hearing your voice while I was away on the hospital bed. I didn't remember my mother's voice. I didn't remember Thomas. I remembered… yours._

"_Please come back to us Nina."_

The music suddenly shifts to only a piano, the orchestra lightly brooding one tense note. Nina took her first steps as a lead performer on stage again with an explosion of pirouettes that Thomas swore should have scorched the stage. She stops in the middle of the darkness, flapping her wings… wanting to take flight.

_I didn't know who I was until you showed me._

Nina began to do something that made the crowd stop and stare almost in amazement. From the start till now they had been accustomed to the ballet dancing routine of elegance. When Nina's lines and her form began to become wild instead of graceful they paid attention. With each flap her leg would flail randomly to the left or her shoulder would be pushed to the right. It was like she was a limp puppet being pulled in every which direction.

"_You must become the Black Swan."_

"_You must stay my sweet little girl."_

"_You need to live a little."_

This wasn't ballet in the basic sense. It was almost the sadistic nature of a dark contemporary routine. Nina was combining her perfect ballet form with some things the ballet world had never seen, making all eyes turn to her. She didn't care if it wasn't pure and she honestly didn't mind it. Her body proved time and time again as she coiled around and then back into perfect ballet positions. She had control of her entire self.

"What's she doing?" Thomas blinked.

"She's not doing the practiced choreography." Lily was prepping herself backstage as she watched on like everyone else. "She's doing whatever she wants to do. Not following rules and its fucking awesome."

The Nina chants were powering her.

Nina's mind was flowing. It wasn't over thinking anymore. She did an unthinkable in the world in ballet free forming and combining things that weren't of the genre and honestly she didn't give a crap what the purists thought. The piano began to quicken the pace as Nina was feeling the music and nothing else. She darted across the stage as the light followed her, twirling a few pirouettes only to being to glide across the floor as if she was weightless. The crowd was getting behind her as they were eating up this display of just pure… dance.

_I'm strong now. I can be whoever I want. When I want._

Nina began to twitch and stop, like a freakish machine, flapping her wings but cutting back into almost a White Swan form as she gracefully spun with a leaping whip of her leg. She was being almost schizophrenic with her dance. One minute she was the White Swan. The next she was the Black… most of the time… she was something else.

_I'm being… me._

Nina slowly began to bring it back into what she knew how to do best though to prove a point, spinning like a spider, just as Thomas told her to do long ago. She gets to center stage continuing to rotate like a top that wouldn't stop.

"_Attack it! Attack it! Seduce not only the crowd but the world!"_

Thomas would not be pushing her so hard if he was out there at the moment. Her spins were frantic. They were beautiful. They were heart felt. They were… perfect.

_I can be strong._

She spun again.

_I can be caring._

And again.

_I can be happy._

And again.

_I can be loving._

… _I can be perfect… in my own little way._

Nina finally stopped instantly as the piano players' ascent up the scale froze, the crowd erupting in a furious cheer that caused a standing ovation one that Madison Square Garden had never heard before. The ground shook as the feet were being stomped, the claps were cutting through the air, the roars of a screaming conglomerate of 15,000 people were moving the entire arena.

Nina was again in her Black Swan pose, eyes close and face to the air. She didn't want to break character but when she heard her name being chanted louder she could only smile weakly, a tear running down her eye as she felt it for the first time.

For the first time on the stage, she was herself and no character. And the public approved…

"You… are something else Nina…" Lily was leaning against the wall, looking at her with caring and proud eyes.

Nina had a confidence in her that couldn't be taken as she acknowledged the crowd as the Black Swan, staring out with those red eyes gleaming. She walks back towards the darkness and stands in front of the mirror the lights slowly coming back up as the prince began to appear from the stage left. Nina looks back at the prince with a cold stare, turning to her reflection who was in real life… the one she wanted.

_**"You… really need… to relax…"**_

"That wasn't in the script…" Lily whispers barely moving her mouth.

"I thought… I'd live a little…" Nina replied smirking. "… Relax."

Lily smiles as once again the lights dim out.

Appearing soon after was Lily decked out as full blown Black Swan, crimson eyes and a darkness that she exuded with every step. The Prince recognizes this as the White Swan but is hesitant of this sexual beast that she turned into. Lily curled up, inspired by Nina stroking her naked thigh as her other finger curled at Prince, egging him on to take her.

Seduction was inevitable.

"That wasn't exactly ballet out there." Thomas commented as Nina walked by backstage.

"No, no it wasn't." Nina answered as she began to take off her contacts, putting the Black Swan costume to rest, that same dark cloth that haunted her for so long. She conquered it but was so calm doing so. She didn't need a celebration.

"What would you call what you did out there then?"

Nina turned to Thomas with a simple grin.

"… I call that… _me_."

- B - B – B -

The finale was nearing its ending point as the Prince had betrayed his love, tricked by the evil sorcereror. Lily was back in white and moving with her new found technical prowess, commanding respect and garnering adoration as she played to the pain. The months taking over Nina had made her empathetic to her pain. She was the only one that truly understood what Nina was going through… the perfect replacement.

She takes a stand at the edge of the Lake, the blue waves beginning to light up the entire stage as the Swans and prince looked on. Lily turns to the watery reflections and sees the image everyone had been waiting to see... Nina dressed in all white again.

The crowd begins to clap as a few of the crowd begin to get emotional.

"You look so beautiful." Lily whispered as she began the final movements till the last jump.

"Not as much as you." Nina replied, mirroring Lily move for move as these two realized how exactly in sync they were. On the dance floor or off it.

The lights began to increase as the stage was pushing towards the finale. The waterfall increased in size, suddenly through a bit of stage magic, many reflections of the two Swans on top of the set began to appear. There were reflections of Nina and of Lily all over the place… almost in a disarraying manner. The crowd wondered who was who… which one were the real Nina and Lily.

On stage while Lily and Nina danced they too were getting disoriented but it didn't matter. For Nina she began to see her old self dancing alongside her, having an actual smile as she mimicked Nina's movements in a couple reflections. She promised her old self that she would make it up to her, the image felt like a warm glow that began to encompass her mission since Lily pushed her to fix herself.

"I want to be your dance partner for life." Nina said as she glanced up the stairs.

"You got me." Lily replied simply.

"I want to be your partner in the dance of life." Nina said it stronger.

"You still got me." Lily teased.

"… I don't know how else to say this to you." Nina and Lily both had their reflections all over the place, looking down towards the blue abyss that waited them. Their doom was their freedom. Their death of their old selves… would let them be together.

"How about you are an amazing woman." Lily yelled over the music. "And I have never been happier in my life?"

"How about…" Nina turned to the crowd getting into her jumping position as Lily did the same. "I love you…"

The music cue hit, the crowd on edge as both of the swans leapt off, the reflection and the reality coming together underneath the stage. In the darkness of the safety harness Nina could feel her heart beating so fast it wanted to come out of her chest. She didn't know whether or not it was because she just returned to the stage with the most amazing performance ever or…

"I love you too…" Lily suddenly said, making both of them freeze like time stopped. It was a feeling inside that felt like the rush of adrenaline combined with the fuzzy butterflies of deep love. The crowd's cheering which was deafening roar sounded like a sweet little tune for the two ballerinas.

"I was wrong about the first performance…" Nina was blushing underneath her makeup, holding Lily's wrist gently. "It wasn't perfect…"

"This one had to be perfect." Lily blinked unsure, caressing Nina's cheek. "Right?"

"… It will after this."

Lily knew what was up before the first words, the two sharing a deep kiss that had them both cooing in each other's arms.

- B – B – B –

_P.A: "Playing the Swan sovereign… Veronica!"_

The show was a roaring success. The crowd was cheering loudly as Nina and Lily raced up back towards the backstage seeing their cast taking their bows on stage with an announcer. The entire ensemble took their cues and inspiration from their two leads and it showed.

"Congratulations ladies, I believe you just pushed down some doors." Thomas was clapping behind them, Beth alongside him sharing the clapping.

"Good work you two, not bad to say the least." Beth was snug and happy in her wheelchair. "That was so fun, you guys almost made me jump out of this thing and start doing my usual shtick."

"I would give up everything I own to see that Beth." Nina crouched down to hug the one that inspired her so long ago, Beth clutching tight as well.

"You have skills Nina, you have a bright future. Not only in Ballet but whatever you wish to put your mind to. You're not just a ballerina… you're a natural born dancer from what I saw tonight."

"Thank you…"

"Uh, why are you giving us that weird look Thomas?" Lily was always suspicious.

"… You are looking at us a bit strange." Nina analyzed him from below.

"… I just feel that I am staring at the future of the business." Thomas laughed to himself. "I still can't believe that this is Nina Sayers."

"Believe it Thomas…" Lily pulled Nina up gently with a smile. "Ready for your first real bow as a lead in Swan Lake?"

"My heart beat says no… but I think my head says yes." Nina shook herself still, so high on this moment.

_P.A.: "Introducing the first Swan Queen NEW YORK CITY! Please give it up for LILY!"_

"See you out there." Lily patted Nina's rear as she walked out waving to the crowd who was pouring so much love even her ego was being humbled. Nina laughed as Lily clutched her chest as that Shakespearian actor, trying to dispel the praise.

"Please… please… Lily is not worthy…" Lily bowed as the other ballerinas joined in her meek celebration.

_P.A.: "Okay folks! This is the person you all came to see! The co-choreographer and the co-lead… Ms. NINA SAAAYERS!"_

To say the stadium was jumping wasn't giving it any justice.

"You deserve all this Nina." Thomas bowed in a bit of respect. "You're teaching an old dog new tricks. Is that the correct American slang?"

"… Yes Thomas… yes it is…" Nina giggled at the Frenchman. "Thank you for everything. Both of you." She glanced at the two elder ballet constants, waving at them as she was going to take a bow that wouldn't be easy or short.

"I think the future of our business is safe in those two hands." Beth watched on as Lily embraced Nina outside, the crowd right on them.

"I don't know about Lily." Thomas sighed. "But Nina I trust she will take the banner now and maybe do the impossible. I guess only someone that survives… death could bring ballet back from the dead as well."

Outside Nina stepped forward, blowing kisses and waving at a crowd that was forever appreciative of her story and of her effort to survive. Nina felt she was representing a group of people that she held dearly in her heart. People that don't have guidance. People that don't have anyone to lean on. People that have unreasonable and saddening expectations. She represented the weak minded, an example of what a human being with a passionate purpose can do.

For Lily going on this ride with Nina had changed her in similar ways. Nina was frail on the inside and out. Lily's difference was she made it look like she was such a firecracker on the outside. Now both of them seemed unbreakable. Nina and Lily finally could agree. Nina had finally picked up all the pieces of the broken glass those months ago.

"Mom!" Nina climbed down the front stage, seeing her mother in the front row, running over and embracing her in the crowd. Lily followed closely, taking her Princess Crown and giving it to a young girl sitting next to Nina's mother.

"I did it mother… we can fix ourselves… I knew we could…"

Lily heard Nina sob into her mother's arms in happiness, watching thankfully alongside her like a hawk. This was her new deal. This was her new purpose in life. To make sure no one stands in the way of Nina's happiness.

_The reflection of Nina stood almost dead in the Swan Queen's dressing room, staring at her image with a bladed glass ready to impale her body. She gasps a little as she sees Lily staring at her from the other side, being right behind her. In her psychotic state she turns and tries to swing the glass blade at Lily to cut her throat, the agile ballerina ducking it and shoving the weapon away easily._

"_I won't let you take this away from me!" Nina screams ready to attack._

"… _I won't let you go… ever." Lily whispers, holding her gently across her waist, kissing her._

_Nina's eyes were wide open…_

_They were finally… wide open._

- B – B - B –

( Months Later )

"_So when you're dancing of the Black and White Swan do you see it as a good and evil struggle?"_

"Well I think it's dangerous to call the Black Swan evil and the White Swan good, I mean this is just my opinion. The White Swan to me represents innocence. It represents kindness. It represents optimism. But it can also represent repression. It can also represent meekness. It can also represent weakness. The Black Swan? Sure, it represents lust. It represents greed. But to me it also represents strength. Empowerment. Boldness…"

"_So is that why you dance your solo section in that frantic manner?"_

"Yes, I'm still new at this being mostly a ballerina but the key to dancing is to know when to pull out what persona for the job. For my version of Swan Lake, that solo section it's purely life at work. Sometimes you need to be the White Swan. Sometimes you need to be the Black Swan. Sometimes you need to a combination. Sometimes you need to a different color. To me the same thing works with life in general. You need to be both so I decided to choreograph it that way."

"_Thank you Nina for answering. And once again we the NYU student body thank you for coming down and doing this Q and A for us!"_

"Not a problem at all. You guys are fun and so kind." Nina smiled behind a podium in front of about a 1,000 contemporary dancers of the NYU art school. They clapped for her making her modestly nod her head. "Honestly, I was so nervous agreeing to do this but you guys made it easy to speak. I am no public speaker…"

"_Hey Nina my name is Tara. Sorry to break the strings of serious dance questions but um… is Lily coming by tonight? I think you two are the cutest couple in the world."_

The auditorium began to rustle and pound, clapping for the other famous Swan to show up. Nina was quite taken back but amused.

"Heh, you guys all want to see Lily huh?"

"YES!" The entire student body screamed.

"Okay okay, I guess you do." Nina's voice was still soft and cute, pulling out her phone, looking through it patiently. "Well I'm sorry to say that Lily wanted to be here but she said she had some shopping to do."

"_Shopping? What?"_

The crowd began to boo.

"Yes she loves sales." Nina smirked as she was calling. "But okay I'm going to call her, although you guys have to convince her to come down alright?"

The crowd agreed with positive reinforcement, nodding while quieting down for the phone call to complete. Nina placed the phone on the microphone so they could speak to her.

"_Hello my sweet little Danish muffin." _Lily's raspy voice echoed into the school's PA, making all the romantics in the room swoon.

"_Nina what the heck was that?"_

"That's the reaction of NYU students hearing you call me… a Danish muffin." Nina blushed, almost regretting putting them on the line with her girlfriend.

"_Oh right! You're at the Q and A tonight. What's up NYU!"_

The crowd cheered and clapped.

"They're wondering why you're not here with me at the Q and A."

"_Oh my God there's a crazy sale going on. 50 percent off clothes Nina! Some even 70 percent! That's like… cost!"_

The crowd began to boo as they heard Lily shaft them for deals. Nina could only giggle to herself seeing the audience turn on her love. "They're not convinced that your shopping habits are a good excuse."

"_They booed me? What the? That's not cool at all! You know what? I'm gonna have to handle this."_

The crowd suddenly erupted as from the side Lily walked in with shopping bags and dressed to kill, a red strapless dress and black jacket making all the guys and lesbians swoon. She danced all the way towards Nina as the room spiked with her presence, pulling them into a gentle kiss that made the "aws" rain down again. Nina's sheepish reaction and red cheeks made it just that more adorable.

"Now who here booed me?" Lily took a microphone and looked at the crowd accusingly, laughter her reply. "College kids are so darn fickle."

"Can you relax and take a seat dear?" Nina pointed towards a chair and table set up next to her podium.

"Sure thing but I just need to give you your gift I bought you today." Lily waved, showing how great of a girlfriend she was and the crowd loved every minute of it. She reached into her bag pulling out a few things. "Okay… mine… mine… mine… mine…"

"Where's mine?"

"Just wait… okay… here you go." Lily placed the bag on her podium, making Nina blush instantly. She grabbed the Victoria's secret bag and stashed it underneath, staring at Lily with a look of disbelief. She mouthed the words how dare you.

"Thank me later." Lily strolled over to the seat and sat down, placing her feet on the chair. Nina was too embarrassed to get angry and the college kids loved the show they were getting.

"_What's in the bag?"_

"N-next question please…"

"_Heh, um… This is so freaking great. You both are here on stage at the same time! I love you both!"_

"We love you too now talk to us dear." Lily leaned back in her comfy chair.

"_Okay this might be a little personal. But I'm a lesbian."_

Everyone began clapping and Lily smirked at the sight. "I think it's so awesome how far we come. You hear the words I'm lesbian and you get the crowd on your side. If I sat up and said I'm straight? I'd get crickets and maybe a tumble weed would pass by."

"_But aren't you bisexual?"_

"Yes and I think that deserves a standing ovation." Lily got her request as the student body stood clapping, laughing as she turned over to Nina who was amused at the shift in the tone of the Q and A.

"_Anyway, as a lesbian I find it nice to see two powerful lesbian figures in the business of dance, especially ones so young. I was wondering as someone who grew up a bit conflicted, when did you guys know you were interested in same sex partners?"_

"Oh boy, that's a dance question if I ever heard of one." Lily turned to Nina. "I feel bad but I don't want to touch this one."

"Well… I knew I was a lesbian when I first met Lily." Nina answered simply.

"_Oh God that's so cute…"_

Everyone sighed happily again.

"Aw, I love you too dear." Lily commented.

"Now tell me how you found out about your sexual preferences." Nina put her hands on her chin. "I'd be very interested in hearing this answer."

"H-hey hey… this is not fair. This is Q and A with Nina… not Lily." She defended herself. "Besides I'm a freaking bisexual. What's the choices for legit reasons? Uh… I can't decide, they both rock... Okay I'm bisexual! Or… I really don't give a crap if it's a cock or a cooch… just give me something to screw… I'm bisexual!"

"You're such a poet Lily…"

The crowd began booing again.

"Agh again with this booing!" Lily turned to them. "Alright alright, how about I compromise and I tell you all how Nina and I fell in love? An NC-17 rated story."

"No. You're not doing that." Nina scowled.

"But the people want that! About a Rated R version?"

"No…"

"PG-13? Hard PG-13?"

"How hard?"

"… One f-bomb… some inferred naught parts… you know… the usual." Lily smiled innocently.

"_Please Nina! We'd love to hear this story!"_

"F-fine but I get to edit whatever words come out." Nina gave her the okay with a shrug. She couldn't say no to these paying people. All the proceeds were going into making a dance school for the under privileged after all.

"Alright so it was the first practice passed first cuts. I was new to New York and of course I got lost in the Lincoln building-"

"You were getting high and you came in late." Nina corrected with a smirk.

"Heh alright, I was taking some editing responsibilities but I guess you'll do that for me." Lily turned back to the crowd happily. "So I walked into class late and before Thomas could say a word and I see a really tense ballerina spaz out in a trip." She turned to Nina. "Did you tell them about your patented signature dance move the pretzel?"

"_What's the pretzel?"_

"Ugh…"

"The pretzel is when Nina falls because the girl so graceful that even when she's about to eat dirt? She can make it look like she's dancing." Lily stood up trying to mimic the pretzel, crisscrossing her legs and curving her hands. "She looked like this, the first time I saw her up close. I thought it was just a weird New York technique. This was the first dance move from the great Nina Sayers I got to see. Romantic huh?"

"I was spinning! And I lost control because of you! It's not a dance move!"

"Plié, pirouette. Pretzel… it rolls off the tongue." Lily reminded her. "Anyway Ms. Nina Sayers gets denied another trial by the boss, and I go over to put my bags on the floor. Suddenly I feel a bony stick or like a poker jam me in my shoulder."

Nina could only laugh at herself now… "Enngh…"

"Yes, it was _you _Nina and not only that but she gives me this really tough girl stance, not showing her face and looking away from me." Lily was quite amused. "So the first thing I'm thinking is Lily's about to slap someone silly. No one disrespects me that way right? Sure! But then I saw Nina's face in the reflection." Her pause shifted her mood. "… And for some strange reason… it calmed me down. I was about to confront her but her face kind of told me more about her than any discussion could. That's when I knew… I wanted to get to know her. And ultimately help her."

She paused. "Aawww…. I know." Lily mocked the crowd smiling.

"Nice brownie points Lily, well played." Nina looked over at her girlfriend with a gentle look.

"I am only being nice now because the next part is going to get really sexy…"

Nina knew she should've been used to this by now. She always spoke too soon when it came to Lily. Only three more Q and As to go to she thought.

- B – B – B –

( La Guardia Airport )

Lily pulled out her earphones as she stopped at the terminal for her departure. She takes a look at the New York sky for a second to remind herself of the day she actually arrived to New York. How long that has been and how many things have happened since then would be a tale she would forever be in disbelief of.

"It almost feels like I just stepped out of that plane." Lily reflected.

"Is that a good thing?" Nina asked as she stood next to her, looking at the blue sky.

"Not sure…" Lily said grasping her hand tightly as they stood in a bit of silence.

"When will you arrive to San Francisco?"

"8:00 pm tonight." Lily grins. "I'm calling you right away."

"… You better." Nina leaned on her shoulder, both of them quite snug and content. As much craziness that had gone on in their professional and personal lives, at the end of the day Nina and Lily realized they were just another couple saying their good byes at an airport. It was strange how big and important things to a certain someone were complete irrelevance to another.

"I'm going to miss you." Lily turned to her, glancing up and down at the girl she dropped all her insecurities for.

"How much?"

"More than how many toes we've cracked between us in our careers."

"Ouch, that much huh?" Nina laughed as Lily played with her soft hair caringly.

"Yes totally… that much… probably more. Heck, probably a lot more." Lily seriously said as she pulled Nina into a gentle kiss.

"Mmm… now you know it's only going to be for a month."

"I lived without you for a month and I was freaking out like you." Lily grinned. "But… I know what you mean."

_Attendant: Now boarding first class members on Flight 252 non-stop to San Francisco!_

"You know this is my first time flying first class?" Lily asked. "Thomas told me you Americans don't know how to live the finer life. I'm going to go try this now that we've got fatter paychecks."

"I should just start traveling… I haven't been anywhere in so long."

"Come with me." Lily poked her tummy. "It'll be fun!"

"Bu me and Thomas need to prepare for the next season now Lily. We got so little time." Nina kissed her cheek.

"You and your work, so lame." Lily huffed.

"I _am_ the lame one in the relationship." Nina said it quite proudly, much to Lily's amusement.

"I love your lameness."

"I love that you love… my lameness."

Nina and Lily could only glance downward and into their eyes soon after as this was indeed their first long bye as a couple. It was kind of cute in a way but it was proving much more difficult than either of them had imagined.

"Well… I guess this is bye for a while."

"I guess so."

"… I love you Nina Sayers." Lily bowed her head. "I can't wait to see you again when I get back and say that to you again. It's a lot nicer than I thought it would be."

"Heh, I love you too Lily." Nina kissed Lily lightly on those lips, of course her partner needing to drag it into a full blown French marathon, holding Nina's head still while she worked her oral skills.

Their tongues worked together in fact to bring their hearts up, Lily wanting to fuel up on Nina's scent and sexuality before she could not see her for a while. Lily finished with one big lap, looking at Nina who had that dreamy look in her eyes, her mouth still wide agape.

"Take care of yourself… please." Lily squeezed her hand.

"I-I will..." Nina recovered slowly. "Go have fun and come back here because… I need you."

"See you around Sayers…" Lily pushed one last kiss before she walked towards the boarding terminal like a strong girl, Nina standing there a bit snugly. Lily checked in, not really wanting to look back because inside she knew it would just irritate her… leaving Nina. With a cut of her pass she was already into the boarding entry, on her way back home.

"Hey why didn't you turn back and wave at me?"

"H-huh?" Lily blinked, turning back to see her girlfriend standing there. "Nina you can't be in here… you need a-"

"First class ticket?"

"… W-wait what?"

"Thomas and I had an agreement." She admitted sheepishly in a giggle. "I can get this week off but I have to do a little double time work next week." Nina smiled, holding out the plane ticket.

"Why did you trick me and make me say bye! That's not cool!" Lily looked a bit angry.

"I think it's cute… when you have to be… cute." Nina laughed.

"You little tricky… bitch." Lily wrapped her hands around her, realizing what this meant. "So you're going to San Francisco with me…"

"I always wanted to see the west coast." Nina nodded. "I don't see why I wouldn't do it with… you."

"You are a goddess." Lily was too excited. "There's so much to see and in only a week? We have to go to the Golden Gate bridge. To Fisherman's Wharf-"

"Shhh…" Nina smiled, kissing Lily to calm her. "I can do anything with you and it'll be just fine."

"… The way you just tricked me. That would be usually something I'd do." Lily thought of all the mirrors and reflections of herself, and how she felt Nina's pains all these past months. "I guess when it comes down to it we're not so opposite as I like to think sometimes. Really I feel like we're pretty similar when it comes to important things."

"You know what they say… Birds of a Feather."

"… Love one another."

"Uh… no Lily."

"Be free forever?"

"… Lily are you kidding? You don't know this saying?"

"… I'm not good with sayings. But don't tell me. I'll get it."

"Ugh.. j-just whatever. Can you please just make out with me right now?"

"Okay… I'm good at that." Lily put her thoughts down as they once again had their lips in complete connect. It was the most natural state for them to be in as into each other as they were. That was what Nina and Lily had realized all along. To be comfortable with themselves truly and completely. To not worry about anything in their lives for once and to concentrate on what was going well for them.

They had one another and every time they kissed with a passion it would reiterate the fact every time.

"Holy shit!" Lily blurted out pulling away, making Nina startle and jump back.

"Gah! W-what? What?"

"It's flock together! Birds of a Feather flock together!" Lily sighed angrily. "How can I forget that?"

"Quiet… just… be quiet…" Nina dove into Lily's arms and planted more kisses into the one she knew she loved. She wasn't waiting anymore. She wasn't content with living with compromises. This Nina knew what she wanted and knew how to get it. Lily would never complain about her change of philosophy ever.

For both of them the Swans had finally taken flight.

Who knows where they would land?

**- Fin -**

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* * *

A/N: **Wow... so we're done. I can't believe it. :) I am very happy to see the fandom growing since this was published. For the most part I got what I wanted to say about Nina and Lily from the film... in my own need to have a happy ending way. They're my favorites... and I am happy they're alot of people's favorites. For everyone that supported this... this whole story was for you. :) It feels really good to get support as an aspiring writer.

Look for the sequel at some point in time.

Lily and Nina sitting in a tree...


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